Discoveries on My Journey of Life

    Okay, I have to warn you, this is probably going to be the longest chapter throughout this series. Not because I'm trying to be dramatic or anything, or stretch it out either. It's more because I want to remember it with as much detail as I can. Leading up until that point, this was my introduction per se, to the world of naughtiness on a different level. I felt something deep inside, and even being just 12-years old, I was starting out on a road into teen-hood (if there is such a thing). Does that make sense? I look back on that night, remembering a lot of little details here and there, because I've relived it so many times since. It's something about that first time, that first bond you create when being intimate with somebody, you know? That first person you learned to trust in more ways than one. Cody asked me if I trusted him, and that night I did, more than he would ever know. Even until now, so many years later, he still has a kind of special place in my heart and all.

    So, I really didn't know that the things that happened were about to shape us, or at least shape me, into a different human being. I don't regret that, of course. I don't think I really knew what he had in mind, beyond I suspected we were about to get naked together. I mean, how else could his mischievousness be interpreted, right? His expressions, his actions - they all told me that something was going down, and to me that was all I could imagine at that point. I wasn't totally sure - I mean, there were OTHER things that could have happened instead. But I suspected more because he was being so painfully careful in what he said, and what he offered. When he said something about making it 'work together', well... my butterflies fluttered again. I started to get excited in a way, not so much in my groin, but just overall. That one word - together - said a lot all by itself. As we got started toward the door, it didn't feel wrong at all, you know?

    I know I've talked about the things Jeremy did to me before, about being scared and feeling weird about how it all went down. I saw him change though, somehow between the beginning and the end. Don't get me wrong, it started out great - we were playing, he was being buddy-buddy with me and all, and we were having a great time together. Still, I had noticed he was getting more and more physical early on, like hugging on me a lot, wrestling or tickling and whatever. I even remember how he sort of initiated all of it, too. I think it was because of that, his closeness, where things started going funny. You know, things that just didn't feel right in some way.

    It's hard to explain the difference though, between what happened with Jeremy and what was happening to me now. With Jeremy, I didn't know him, I didn't have any connection with him on the inside. I didn't feel him as being a close friend and all, if that makes any sense. I mean, since that time I've realized Jeremy wasn't a real friend - he didn't care how I felt, or what life was like for me. Especially an 8-year old whose parents had just basically divorced, and who was just trying to figure out my place in the world.

    With Cody, it was the exact opposite. I knew Cody, I could feel our friendship on the inside. Even before that night, I would have done anything for him, I think. I really believed if he had ever needed something, money or whatever, I could have given him anything I had. Even the shirt off my back would have been his, no questions asked, if asked me for it or just needed it. That's a lot to say for a 12-year old, I know - something maybe more adult than anything else, but heck, I'm in my early 20's now, so give me a little latitude, okay? It's like that day he was outside with his sister, and I saw those kids picking on them - I HAD to get out there. I don't know what drove me so hard, other than thinking there was trouble brewing, and I had to get out there with them. Inside I felt that I had to back my best friend up, to do whatever it cost to stand with him in case he needed it. I didn't care if I got pulverized, or had the snot beaten out of me. I was willing to back my friend up with everything my little 94-pound body could do.

    I remember feeling a little disappointed when it was over. Before I reached them, everyone was separating, but there was one good thing that came out later. For all I know, it might have been the thing that turned us around, maybe made Cody like me even more or something. It happened when I was over at his house that weekend, and we were sitting in his bedroom alone. He had gotten quiet at one point, then looked at me. "Sean, thanks for coming out the other day." At first, I didn't realize what he was talking about, but then it clicked. I remember smiling or something then, and that was enough. He managed to take my silence the right way. "Just so you know, it meant a lot to me - a whole lot," he added. I knew then that with Cody, I wasn't just another kid. I wasn't just another somebody passing through his life - he actually acknowledged there was something between us, a little something beyond just being friends.

    At least, that's how I choose to remember it. I can't put into words how Cody felt, what he was thinking, or what he was feeling. I can only kind of guess at things, based on the little things he said to me, his expressions, his actions; but to truly say I know what was going through his head? I can't really do that. What you're about to read makes a few guesses, but most all of this comes from my eyes, my reactions - my feelings.

    So that night in my bedroom, when he took my arm and was pulling me up from the bed, things changed. We were about to do something that could only be explained by that bond between us. Could I be over-reacting, or rather over-thinking it? Could it have been a lot simpler than what I made it out to be? Probably, but again - you've learned enough about me by now, by reading this journal, that I had a lot of mixed feelings about some things. I didn't on this night, though. We could have just been 2 kids about to break some kind of taboo, about to just have some naughty fun; but you have to have known us before then, known how we lived in church, in school - real life - to know why I didn't think of it that way. We had never come this close to doing anything before - and I mean close to even having this much physical contact, period. We had wrestled a couple times, or rather tickled each other in the past, but that was about it. Now, it seemed as if we were about to break some unspoken rule and go beyond the simple things that boys do in a friendship. He already had said it and heck, even DID things in those few shorts hours leading up to that moment, that made me like him even more.

    Cody cared, which is something I never felt from Jeremy, ever. I liked this boy, this best friend of mine, period. I didn't care what he wanted to do, I would be with him till the end. Don't get me wrong: I didn't idolize him. I knew better than that, but I really did believe in him as being good inside. We had been through a lot together, and I was convinced that what he had inside his soul was special. If nothing else, he was my best friend; he had just even told me I was his, and they were not just words. They were words we both identified with and could feel something from.

    So, we had just started to make our way to the the door, but suddenly the phone rang. We both stopped and jumped out of our skins practically! Looking at each other we started laughing hysterically. He sat me back down on the corner of my bed, and then rushed to grab the phone off my desk. "Hello?" He listened for a few seconds, then grinned and said "Yeah, he's right here, gimme a second..." Handing me the phone, he mouthed soundlessly, clearly telling me, 'It's your mom'.

    I giggled and then took the phone, before talking with her. "Yeah mom, we're fine... We've been playing some games and just trying to find another one now..." A pause. "That? Well, Cody had a little trouble figuring out how to roll out of my bed, you know. It was kind of funny watching him trip up getting to the phone and all!" Another pause. "Sure, we'll be okay, I promise..." Another short break. "It's cool. I love you, too!" As I handed it back to Cody, he hung it up and fell on the bed, again howling with laughter. I have to admit, it was pretty infectious to me, too. "Talk about timing..." I said, once I started settling down.

   "You said it!" Cody then grunted, before pausing and watching me again. "What was that about me tripping up?"

    "Oh, um, sorry... Mom asked what we were laughing so hard about when you answered the phone." I made face. "I didn't know what to tell her. I mean, I didn't want to tell her we were heading to the bathroom to give me a bath, you know?"

    Cody laughed even harder. "I think you're forgiven for that one, then," he said eventually, before watching me again. "Um, do you still want to?" he asked, that sly look returning to his face. "I mean, you know..."

    "You bet!" I replied, giggling. With that, Cody bounced up and once again pulled me to my feet.

    Heading to the doorway, he muttered. "Good! I was afraid you might change your mind!"

    "What? No way! I'm not afraid, let's go for it!" I fired back, as we worked our way down the hall and into the bathroom.

    Flipping the light switch, it wasn't exactly the brightest place in the world at the moment. Only one of the florescent bulbs was working over the mirror that night, but it did light the room up enough to keep us from inadvertently bumping into anything. Cody steered me over to the toilet, put the seat-top down, and then sat me there. He then turned and crossed over to the window and opened it several inches to the outside world. Although it had stopped raining earlier that evening, another round was coming through then, I think, and we could hear a rumble of thunder in the distance. He looked outside for a few seconds as we both felt a cooler breeze finding its way inside, and I remember thinking it wouldn't take long for the room to start turning colder. Eventually, he turned around and faced me, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and peeling the garment over his head before dropping it to the floor. I knew then, whatever we were going to do, was definitely going to be together.

    As I watched, Cody crossed over to my tub and started running water in it. He asked me about how warm to make it, and I just told him whatever he thought was good would be okay. Seeing a bottle of bubble bath nearby, he grabbed it and squirted a part of it into the running stream. Not another word was said for the next few minutes, the silence broken only by the sound of rushing water as the tub began to slowly fill. He stayed with it, adjusting the temperature every now and then, until it got about half filled. How he knew when to stop it, I had no idea really. As I've said before, it was one of those older porcelain types, and it was pretty big in size overall. Still, he let it fill just about right I think, because when we got in the water later and stretched out, it was perfect.

    After Cody shut off the flow of water, there was an unmistakable quietness filling the room, broken this time only from the sound of the falling rain outside. I remained silent because I wanted to see what he had in mind. He stood up and eventually turned to me again, and in that moment, I had a noticeable excitement building inside my stomach. Were we really going to do it? As he walked up to me, however, Cody was smiling, but I could see this look of uncertainty, too. When he stood in front of me, he stopped and spoke, breaking the silence with a shaky, quiet tone. "Listen Sean, are you sure? Now is the time to back out, I mean, if you don't want to do this. I know I trust you, with me, but..."

    I shook my head. "I'm sure, Cody. I'm not backing out. I know what's going to happen, kind of anyway. Remember, I trust you, too." Just then I recalled how he had wanted me to make that statement before we started. I looked up into his eyes and tried to let him feel it from me again, but without being funny. "I really, really do." He smiled back, but I decided to go an extra step and show him it was okay. Without any hesitation, I grasped the bottom of my own shirt and peeled it over my head. I lay it by my side and waited, but not before reaching out and poking him gently in his belly button.

    That seemed to break the spell as we both giggled, and then Cody suddenly relaxed and seemed satisfied. He took my glasses and placed them on the counter, and then reached for both my arms this time, pulling gently until I was up on my feet again. From that point, I really didn't do anything, other than just let him sort of guide me through what he had in mind. He grabbed my sweats at the waistband, pulling them out to make sure he didn't have hold of my briefs, and then pulled them down to my ankles. I was beginning to get a stir - not really a full-on erection, but I wasn't exactly soft either. I know he had to have noticed, too. I mean, as he knelt, he was only inches from me! I know I sure would have, if our roles had been reversed. My dick was outlined pretty plainly inside my briefs, too. Still, getting the cloth dropped to my feet, he then concentrated on sitting me back down. Once done, he pulled my sweats the rest of the way off.

    Cody then reached for my brace, loosening the Velcro straps both above and below my knee. "I don't think we want to get this thing wet," he mused, explaining as he carefully slid it down and off of my foot. I have to admit that, in the excitement and everything up to that point, my knee had been the farthest thing from my mind. As he was working it off though, the sudden change of pressure had an effect. I got those tinges of soreness all over again, like little sharp painful needles sticking me, and it was difficult to flex. I must have gasped or something, because Cody suddenly looked up at me and hesitated. "Uh, maybe this isn't such a good idea..."

    "No!" I almost yelled at him, making him visibly jump before I realized what I had done. I rapidly followed up in a softer tone. "No, please, it'll be fine, honest! Just give me a minute to adjust, that's all." Seeing his uncertainty, I smiled and took a deep breath. It was already starting to feel better, and I told him so as I shifted and sat up straight again. "Just help me up, okay?" He did, and then while he stood there in front of me, he hooked his own sweats and dropped them, kicking them loose from his feet. We were now alike, both of us standing in only our underwear, and as we stood I DID glance down at him. What I saw made me grin, because he was like me - not really fully erect, but close enough to itI could see his outline pretty easily, too!

    We moved over to the tub together, and then he slipped behind me, telling me to hold up for a second. I felt him leave as I grasped and supported myself on the porcelain edge, and then I heard a familiar click before the light went out. There was a silence then, and in those few seconds I think I experienced disappointment. We had nothing but the light coming in through the window then, which was not really that much to speak of. I mean, there was an outdoor light outside on a utility pole not far away, that illuminated the yard and that side of the house. As my eyes adjusted though, I discovered it really wasn't that bad. To top it all off, there was also light coming from down the hallway, too, and though it was dimmed by the distance, it still helped to add a soft glow into the room. So, although it was considerably darker, after letting our eyes adjust you could easily make out the tub and other fixtures.

    Cody had returned behind me and took hold of my briefs. Quickly and wordlessly, he pulled them down from behind, but not without using some care in front by running one hand around and pulling out to make space. I laugh as I think of it now, because he was making sure my willy didn't get caught, I think - trapped in the band as he pulled my briefs down. He helped me kick them off my feet by stepping on them, holding each side as I raised each foot and cleared them. I became acutely aware my whole naked back was to him now, with my ass in full view. I giggled, not exactly knowing why but I did. I really didn't care, though, and if I hadn't been balancing myself on the tub, I would have probably turned around to face him. I mean, before we were done, he was going to see all of me anyway, right? Like I said, though - I trusted this kid.

    As soon as my briefs were clear though, Cody grabbed my sides from behind and brought his arms all the way around in front, just below my belly. It kind of surprised me, but I didn't have any time to dwell on it as he suddenly sat down on the tub, pulling me down with him. We were close then, and yes - I was spooned down into his lap. A lap which, by the way, happened to be as naked as I was by then. He must have removed his sweats and shorts while he turned off the light, because I had no idea until that moment, and yeah, it surprised me. He then started hugging me close and rearing back, the effect lifting my body, legs and all, up and over the side of the tub. He moved slow, and he was careful, but almost effortlessly he pivoted me right into the tub.

    I could feel him at my back, his warm chest, his torso and everything else. I could feel his full glory of nakedness too, pressing against the cheeks of my butt those few seconds. Before I could appreciate it though, he pushed up on me, helping to stead inside the tub enough for him to swing his own feet in behind me. Just like that, I finally understood how he got me inside without putting any stress on my knee. As he sung in behind me, he sat down into the water first, and then pulled me down gently into his lap again.

    This was so cool, I thought, forgetting the naughtiness for the moment as I settled in, then moved further down between his legs. Cody straddled me from behind without any hesitancy, grabbing my sides and pulling and tugging, pushing in places so I didn't make it uncomfortable for him. There was enough room I was able to stretch my legs inside his own mostly, though my knee was bent somewhat for the two of us to do this right. Strangely, it never bothered me though.

    We had done it! We had gotten past all of our inhibitions of a sort and were actually cuddled up naked to one another! It was like we had crossed an unwritten, unspoken line of some sort, and I was thrilled! So, what if he saw my ass, big deal! I didn't care, and he knew it! I even lay my head back against his shoulder and laughed. That was when he pulled me back into him, hugging and cuddling me, and we both lay in the water pretty much covered to just below our necks. The water was hot, but not scalding. Actually, it was just enough to offset the coolness in the room, which made the moment feel even more perfect, you know? How many ways can I say it? This... it was fantastic!

    We were insulated, sheltered - and warm, but not just from the water. We had each other, too. I looked down and could see nothing of myself, yet alone him, but inside and underneath the surface I knew my semi-erection had actually gone down. I could feel him, too, in his fullness as his willy and crotch was sandwiched up against me. Not surprisingly, his was doing the same, too. More importantly though, I could feel HIM; his body curved and fitted mine unbelievably snug, and I would have figured a full boner was in the cards for both of us. For some reason though, it wasn't. And yes, even as a kid, I noticed it and that was cool. We could have been like two young kids just playing in the bathtub, oblivious to everything in the world I think, had it not been for this quiet moment where he was holding and hugging me. He didn't let go; even with his legs were stretched around me, straddling my back and hugging my sides, his feet hooked over my thighs. I heard him sigh as I relaxed in his arms. Occasionally, he reached around and felt my chest and belly, pulling us together. His breath was on my neck, and it, too, was warm. I would lie back, putting my head against his shoulder, and it would bring our cheeks together. For some, that might have seemed too close for boys to do, but he didn't shy away from me at all. From the corner of my vision, I could see his eyes were closed, so for a bit I did the same. I nuzzled him a little, because it just felt good to do so. He must have thought so too, because he pushed back even closer. "MMmm, that feels good..." he would mumble. "Thanks, man. Thanks for letting me do this," he whispered into my ear, which surprised me, but made me smile. I didn't know what to say, so we just lay there in silence.

    I didn't know how much time passed. It could have been only minutes, or it could have been a half-hour. I just know I loved it. Cody would caress my sides by pulling water up on both of us at times, (water that had started to seep out somewhat from the overflow drain by then). When he did that, it warmed what part of our upper chests and necks were exposed to the room. Being inside of him, and completely in his control even, there was little I could do to return the favor, but I did rub and hug the sides of his legs at times. I could feel the little hairs that had started building on them, and it was kind of cool holding them while they were holding me.

    I had never done anything like this, never dreamed of it even in my wildest, erotic fantasies. Up to that point, I had discovered or at least learned about the usual stuff boys discover, either on my own or from overhearing the guys on the bus, or at school behind closed doors. I had visualized a lot of things before that point, too. Sometimes with girls, but to be honest - I had a pretty low self-esteem. I couldn't imagine any girl who would want to be with me, for any reason. Cody was different though, and I admit - some of my fantasies included him. Still, they were just that - just fantasies. Wishes and dreams and things that would make my imagination run wild, you know? Like most boys, I had discovered jacking off, and although I wasn't really heavy into it, there were times it gave me a release when I was worked up, or stressed out and all. Those fantasies, with boys or girls, well... to a geek like me, I kind of figured it would be all I'd ever have. Does that make sense?

    That night, everything was changing my outlook on life then. Even though it was with one boy, it was with someone I felt right with, and I didn't care where it took us or what we did. I didn't think of what we were doing so much as being gay or anything; as I remember, I still accepted it all as just curiosity, I think. But this? This being where we were, and what we were doing? Oh crap, I don't think any of my fantasies or expectations had ever hit me like this turned out. Yet there I was, in a bath tub, naked with my best friend in the whole world! I was completely exposed, down to my very soul even. I may have not thought of it like that then, but I certainly look back on it now with a lot of introspection. That night, with the mind of a 12-year old, I maybe a little more maturity than some guys my age - but I was still a kid for the most part. If I gave into any of that thoughtful, reflecting attitude, it was only to acknowledge how glad I was that Cody was with me, doing this too. It was wicked, it was being naughty and fun at the same time - but it was being special too. I built and even deeper bond with Cody from us doing this, and I think he was did the same with me.

    Eventually he let out a big sigh in my ear and started to nudge me to sit up. As I complied, he picked up a washcloth and started to rub my back. "Okay, got any soap up there?" he asked.

    I nodded and reached out, handing him a bar. He proceeded to scrub my back briefly while I let out some more of the water. As the surface fell to our bellies, he moved the cloth lower over all the areas he could reach. He even took my arms and, pulling me back against him again, scrubbed my chest and belly, under my arms, my neck; he even went lower, almost all the way into my groin, but magically stopped just short of it. I even shifted, lifted my hips somewhat, trying to tell him it was okay, but he would not touch me there. Not directly, anyway. Instead he moved on to my sides, my hips - everywhere he could reach above and below the waterline where he could feel his way. It wasn't perfect, even clumsy at times - but it was him doing it to me, and I didn't complain one bit.

    I actually remember feeling disappointed at first. Here we were, going this far, but suddenly he didn't want to touch my willy? At least, I was guessing he didn't want to, which was sad because of all our intimacy and intimate doings, that would have been the prize, right? To show no fear and all? It was one thing to look at each other, see each other, but then the last of those senses seemed to be the stopping point: to touch, smell and taste. Tasting I understood, as well as smell. Touching though, I don't think I would have been afraid. He didn't do it though, not at first anyway. Oh well, I was still okay with it. Heck, I was on cloud nine, just getting to feel this much! Eventually he gave me the washcloth, putting it in my hand, and whispered in my ear. "I can't reach your feet."

    I couldn't resist teasing him first, though. "Are you afraid to touch me, like, down there? You know...?"

    Cody laughed. "NNnnoooooo... I'm not, but right now, it's getting cold, don't you think?"

    I sighed, not sure if I was understanding the why's or not, but I let it go and sat up. My right foot was easy, but the left was more difficult, given the situation with my still, very sore knee. All the while I moved, shifting and trapping Cody underneath me in the arch, we both giggled as I tried ridiculously to just swat at my foot with the washcloth, but after a moment I eventually gave up. "Never mind," I told him. "It can't be that bad, anyway." I did pull his knees up around me though, one at a time and gave him the same treatment he had given me that far at least. I actually enjoyed it, and wondered if he had liked doing what he did to me. Reluctantly, I finished and turned my head to look back at him. "I'm sorry, Cody. I don't know how I can, like, do any more for you."

    "You don't have to, bro," he replied, and then hugged me one last time. I remembered hearing that distinctly, and how my heart almost stopped and skipped a beat. What did he call me? Bro?*As I think back and relive it even now, can anyone reading this not see why I thought we were building some kind of bond? It was those little things, those little feelings that were registering with me. I squeezed upon his arms too, as he held me, wishing I could just roll over right then and hug the stuffing out of him. I really, honestly didn't want it to end.

    He finally let me go though, and gently pushed me forward again. He started splashing water between us, and I felt him taking the washcloth and doing his thing. Only when he washed, he was much quicker about it. I discovered then that the room was cold now, and although the water was still warm, sitting up and being exposed brought me a chill. When he was holding me, our shared warmth offset that. Now though, I was getting goose bumps, and I think was too. He shuddered before leaning up into my ear again. "Pull the water plug, and let's get out of here, okay?"

    I remember glancing back, dejected. "I almost don't want to, you know?" I whispered.

    He slipped his arms around me and hugged me yet one more time. "I know, but... it'll be okay. Wait till we get back to your room, okay?" I nodded and then did as I was asked, although I would have endured the cold a lot longer if it meant us staying together like this. In the back of my mind, I knew it had to end sometime. As the water drained, I scooted forward as much as I could so he could draw his legs back and crouch behind my back. Gathering his feet beneath him, he used me to steady himself before standing up. Then reaching down, he threaded his arms underneath mine and pulled me up with him.

    In an almost reciprocal fashion from earlier, but reversed, Cody firmly took hold around my belly as before and picked me up and over, my legs clearing the side of the tub and swinging free. I felt ashamed somewhat; my leg was hurting again, and the movement was making me apply more pressure and stress probably in places I shouldn't. I couldn't help him with this part, not the way he was doing it anyway. He was doing almost all the work, you know? He did it though, and I did try to help where I could. When my feet were outside the tub, he sat me down gently onto the side, and waited until I balanced myself. I sat free and clear then, supporting myself, while he climbed out beside me.

     When we first entered, I saw nothing of him then, although he could see my backside completely. Maybe that was intentional, I don't know. For a fleeting instant, I sort of figured he would do the same time this time, by being as discreet as possible. To my surprise though, he was anything but discrete. As he climbed out, he crossed in front of me without any shyness, and for that instant I sort of got a unique view of him. If he knew it, he didn't let on, because once he had his bearings, he immediately walked over to the window and shut it quickly. Then turning, he grabbed a towel and turned back toward me.

    In the dim light, I saw everything about him for the first time. I could not make out the minute details, not like I would have wanted to, but I saw enough to see he had lost his erection, as had I. That was kind of a relief, really. If I had had an erection and he didn't, that would have been embarrassing, I think! I did notice other things, though. He had a soft patch of pubic hairs right at the base, on top, and what looked like a very defined v-line that ran down his sides from just below his ribs, before it met at his groin. When he had walked past me to the window, I saw his butt, too. It was round and smooth, but it didn't jiggle or anything as he passed. I smiled inwardly, thinking wow, I at least got to see him some anyway. If I didn't get any more than that for the rest of the weekend, it would be okay at least.

    Cody was no longer nervous with me, either. When he returned he stood directly facing me in front, his expression relaxed but kind of smiling, and yes - he knew I was staring right at his plumbing. Thing was, he was staring at mine, too, checking me out! When I realized it, I even spread my legs a little more, subtly telling him it was okay, I guess. He glanced at me and grinned, and then squatted down in front. I thought he was going to do a close-up inspection, but instead he grasped one leg first and then the other, toweling me off all the way from my feet to my nuts. I could tell he was enjoying every minute of it, too. When he reached my groin, he slowed and used more care, paying my dick more attention. I could think of nothing to say, because I didn't want the magic to end, really. Magic? I thought so! My best friend in the whole world, was not only showing that he wasn't afraid, but he was curious about me, too!

    Cody continued upwards to my belly and chest, eventually, before standing me up again. After steadying me, he turned me sideways and circled around to my back, where he began toweling everything left undone. When he had finished, he turned  me around to face him again and then sat me back down on the tub. He started to dry off, but then I reached out and stopped him. "I can't do much else, but this... Let me, okay?"

    He hesitated, half smiling at me, but then nodded. "Sure, bro." There, he had said it again. Moving in closer, he turned around and spread his legs apart.

    To say I didn't enjoy it would be the biggest, bald-faced lie anyone could make. Of course, I enjoyed it! I was thrilled! I dried his back, and at one point pulled him down into MY lap for a change, wrapping my arms around him. "Mmm...." escaped me I think, because he giggled before half-turning his head and whispering, "I know". He was sitting in my lap, my dick was sandwiched underneath him (but not hard or anything), and he was as nonchalant about it more than I was!

    What he felt of me, I don't know, although I doubt it was much different than what I felt when our roles were reversed. What astounded me even more was that right then, neither of us had an erection. No boner, no horny hormones acting out, nothing that reflected what we were doing. How the heck did that happen, right? It's true, though. I mean, we were not exactly soft - but it wasn't a sexy excitement just then, you know?

    So, I didn't do anything that initiated any kind of play. Not that didn't want to, because like I said before, every inhibition between us was now obviously gone. Still, I gave him the same treatment he gave me in the faded light. I pulled the towel around his chest and wiped quickly, soaking up any excess moisture on him to be combined with mine. When he stood up, he turned and faced me, and I noticed that then, finally, he was more boned up, and honestly? It was cool! Seeing him, I think, made me start to do the same thing! I finished toweling him off though, spending a little more time than he did down below, which made him finally spring up completely. I only wished there was more light - a lot more, really, because I wanted to see him. I grinned as he stood there in silence though, in the coldness of the room, watching me. I even moved a finger to his hardness and pulled it down, letting it go so it flopped back up. He laughed at me, but that was all. I detected a slight shiver though, and I knew I had to stop. Tossing our towel into the corner, I looked up and grinned before nodding. He grinned back, and then quickly turned and disappeared out the door. I heard him go into my room, followed by what sounded like opening and closing of one of my dresser drawers. Sure enough, he returned a moment later with a pair of fresh briefs for us each to put on. When he walked back in the room, I giggled because - watching him, his stiffness what flopping every which way as he hurried. Still, he returned right in front of me, and to my delight, we actually put our underwear on each other.

    Cody then collected our clothes before pulling me back to my feet, and then we turned toward the door. I collected my glasses as we walked by the counter and made our way back to my room. Once inside, we both plopped down on the side of the bed and just sat there for a moment. I reached out and took my t-shirt from the bundle in his hands, and put it on, then I took the one he had been wearing and pulled it over his head as well. Raising his arms, Cody let me finish, but not without a puzzled look on his face. "Trust me, we have to. These sheets will stick to you all night tonight if we don't. It's a weird thing about waterbed mattresses, I think."

    Cody glanced at the bed and then back to me. "Oh, okay, I didn't know..."

    The sounds of uncertainty caught my attention. "Didn't know what?"

    He laughed. "Like, uh, I wasn't sure where you wanted me to sleep. I thought maybe you might stick me in the other bedroom out there!"

    I laughed too, but mercilessly bumped shoulders with him. Although I did it playfully, I did lose my balance and somehow, we both fell back onto the mattress. My knee throbbed just then, but I ignored it as we then started half-wrestling, half-tickling each other. It wasn't much of a fight - but it was something that broke the ice between us. My knee, however, wasn't as forgiving, and I suddenly realized we had left the brace back in the bathroom. Telling Cody, he then jumped up and retrieved it for me, and we spent the next few minutes getting it back into place and locking it down.

    The two of us finally sat back together onto the bed again, working our way back to the headboard and the bean bags we had left earlier. Looking at each other, in the light, we both knew something had changed between us. It was knowing what we did though, I think that did it, because we were both overcome again with laughter bursting out at the same time. I mean, we had done it; we had shared something so intimate, not really dirty, but definitely naughty in its own way! From the moment we left the bedroom to the moment we came back - all the tension, the ease, the relaxation, the phone call, everything just fell in our lap, and it suddenly seemed funny. It ended with us just staring at each other, giggling in the end, beyond words.

    Eventually I made an effort and rolled on top of my best friend, pinning him underneath. Cody liked that, because he didn't fight me anymore, instead choosing to grin as he looked back up at me before I finally spoke up. "You are never going to sleep in that guest room when you're here with me, period. That is unless, you just want to sleep in there. If it's my choice though, I want you in here. I want you with me, beside me, you know? If you want to."

    I think I fumbled the words badly, trying to make them sound important and right, but doing a miserable job. He saw how serious I was though, and nodded at me. "Of course, I want to stay with you, Sean. I really do!" Then he paused and sort of wordlessly mouthed a single word: "Thanks". I mouthed my reply in kind, "You're welcome."

    I was going to go on, but Cody stopped me. "No Sean, I don't think you understand. I mean it... thanks, for all of it, for everything. Inviting me to stay, hanging out, the bath ... for letting me do that especially. I know some guys would think that weird and all. I wasn't sure how you would react, or even if you would want to do it or anything, or..." He fell silent, but there was no worry, no hesitation - nothing but just that friendship thing we were building between us.

    "Well, you let me see your dick, you know," I whispered, which made him giggle.

    "No less than you let me see you," he replied. "I didn't care, though, honest."

    "I didn't either, Cody. Honest," I whispered back.

    I think if I could have gotten away with it, I might have kissed him then. I mean, it would have been another new thing for me, but in my mind that was going in another direction. Even now thinking back, I don't know if I could have crossed that line for myself. We were kids, you know? Kissing though, especially among boys, was a whole different level. I think to kiss him would have meant I was going beyond the curiosity and all. Looking back, I sometimes wish I had, though. I have yet, to this day, ever kissed another boy - period. Despite the stories I write, and the big deal I make out of kissing in them, I've never experienced it. I would sssoooo wish that I could someday, period. Just like the times I wish I had kissed Cody that night, I know there has to be something magical about it. The truth is though, I didn't. So instead, for the first time since I think we had become friends, and certainly for the very first time since we had ever been alone in all those months, I threaded my arms inside of his and rolled off, pulling him close on top of me. I say the first time, because it was a hug that I enveloped us both in, our fronts touching all the way up and down, highlighted that night because we both still had boners. I could feel him as much as he could feel mine through our briefs, but I didn't care. It just wasn't one of those silly, quick kind of hugs. I wrapped my leg one good leg around him, and nuzzled straight into his neck. It felt so good to me, and I know it did to him, too. I had only done that a couple of times in my life, I think, but never to anyone outside of my family. For this boy though, I didn't hold back. There could be no question or mistake as what it was meant to be - it held everything I could give him, and he gave me his back in return. I grasped and held on, my heart, my soul even - everything about me I tried to give to him, and I didn't let go. I can even remember that I was ready to cry, of all things. I know I didn't trust my voice anymore, so I said nothing, choosing instead to hold on and not letting go. In the end, I think Cody knew and understood, because he held me back. I rubbed his back everywhere I could reach, even his butt, making it as personal and fulfilling as I could. I didn't want to let go.

    How long I kept us together, I don't know. I just know he didn't try to escape or roll away. He was relaxed, holding me the best way he could, too. When I finally did let go eventually, I eased him to my side, and I rolled to face him. We looked at each other again and smiled, and I tried to thank him. "Cody, you don't owe me anything. I owe you, man."

    "Thanks," was the whispered reply. "That was... I don't know, just awesome. I've only ever hugged my sister that way, once, a long time ago. But that man... just thanks."

    "Cody, I would do that with you any day," I reiterated, before adding, "The hug, the bath, any of it... and not just so I could see your dick or anything again, either!"

    Cody snorted and then giggled. "Like I told you, I don't care Sean if you see me. I'm kind of glad, though. I thought what we did was really cool, just you and me." He paused, the expression on his face changing. "Can I ask you about something, though?"

    "Sure, what's up?"

    Pausing, he kind of blushed. "Well, you kind of... you know, you kind of looked funny, like different." He then pointed toward my crotch. "Down there, I mean."

    Suddenly, thoughts of another boy saying something similar struck me. "What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled.

    "Well, like..." He paused, adjusting himself as he propped up on his elbow. "Like.... you've got all this extra skin and stuff on your willy."

    "OOhhhh!" The point hit me, and I understood. "Yeah, I'm uncircumcised, you mean."

    "Y-you're what? What did you call it?" he asked, surprised. I had to giggle at the expression on his face.

    "You know, uncircumcised. Like when you're a baby, after you're born, boys are either circumcised or not before you go home. Most guys have their skin cut and everything, like you do. That's called circumcision, or being circumcised. I wasn't, Mom and Dad had them leave me alone."

    Cody's face changed then, as he realized what I was saying. Comprehension began to dawn. "Oh, wow... I forgot all about that." He blushed. "Sorry, I guess I've never thought or seen anyone like that before. I mean, wow..."

    At first, I giggled again, but then shrugged. He really did seem kind of interested, so I got this idea in my head. Would I, or could I, be so bold to make a first move like this? I ended up thinking 'what the heck'. I mean, he had just told me, more or less, that he didn't care if I saw him naked or not, right? Of course, I already knew it by then. Him saying it though, out of the clear blue, added that much more warmth and trust to our friendship, I think. Why couldn't I be the same way? So, I rolled back and with my free hand, hooked my thumb into my underwear in front and pulled them out and down. It was a lot brighter in here now, and by doing it, I knew I was giving him a better view - if he wanted, that is. I didn't exactly have a full boner, but that was rapidly changing again. "You want to see?"

    Cody grinned at me. "You sure?" he asked, but he didn't wait for a reply. He didn't need to be invited twice! He propped up first on both elbows and then rolled closer so he could see my rapidly hardening dick better. He moved so close I could actually feel his breath on me as it exhaled over my groin, and somehow - seeing his interest, having the better lighting, and even me having my glasses on by then so I could watch him - was all doing something different to me. It wasn't like it had been in the bathroom. In there, the way Cody set it up was for the fun of just a bath, more or less. In here, on my bed, this was a lot more direct. Still not exactly naughty, but certainly more direct! The fact he was interested, I think, turned me on somewhat. He studied me intently, not with lust, but with curiosity, and that made me feel great inside.

    Combined with my trust for him then, I started amassing a full-on boner, which I think Cody found just as fascinating because of the way it changed my extra skin, tightening up on my dick. He started to take his hand and touch me at one point, but he pulled away. Maybe it was uncertainty, I don't know, but right then I thumbed my underwear down under my nuts, hooking them to stay in place, followed by rolling and quickly pushing down both sides of my underwear. The waistband ended up at mid-thigh, and as I rolled back, it was clear my whole lower section was now totally exposed, with a throbbing boner pointing out toward him. To top it off, I lastly reached for his hand that he had pulled back, and I pulled it forward, placing it right on top of my swollen member, watching his face and expression the whole time. He grinned like a little kid. "Shit!" he whispered, which made me giggle. Neither of us was that prone to swearing, but right now wasn't the time to worry about such things, I think.

    I wasn't sure whether Cody would take to me or not, but as I let his hand go, he didn't move it away. He had wanted to do this, I was sure, but was afraid. My actions turned that corner for him then, and with his fingertips, he grasped each side of my dick and gently pulled back on my skin. "Does that, like, hurt any?" he whispered.

    To say I wasn't getting something out of this was an understatement; I was rock hard, because this was now a very sexual touch to me. I had none of the confusing feelings I had with my cousin, though. This, with Cody, felt right, and more so it was absolutely awesome! "Heck no," I whispered back, watching him. "Go on, you can do whatever you want."

    As Cody pulled my skin back again, this time my glans peeked out. Seeing that, he pulled even harder, enough so that they poked out all the way. "Oh wow, that is so cool! When your skin goes back, you really are like me then!"

    "Yeah," I croaked, not sure what to say, but definitely getting hornier as he played with me. It must have been my voice or something, because he looked at me and giggled. My right hand had already fallen behind me, and he couldn't see it, but I was grasping my covers hard with each sort of stroke that he did. My butt even clenched together given the feelings he was arousing in me. Oblivious though, he didn't say anything else for a moment, as he just went back to observing and with me. Eventually, he wrapped his fingers around my dick completely, and that made me take a sharp breath. Whether he noticed or not, his moving the skin up and down then, over the end of my glans causing them to move in and out of the open air, made me moan. He was, in effect, jacking me off, and I was really getting worked up.

    "I bet that's so cool..." he mused at one point, bringing me out of my reverie. He had paused, looking up at me. "Hey, Sean? Do you, like, jack off any?"

    I had closed my eyes up to that point, but when I opened them, I nodded. He then followed up with another question. "Do you do it a lot?"

    I thought about that for a second. "Mmm, I dunno... maybe sometimes. What do you call a lot? Do you jack off?" I asked.

    "Oh, fuck yeah... I do it probably 8 to 10 times a week, sometimes. Maybe more."

    I grinned, as he had yet confirmed another something for me. "That's about the same for me, too."

    It got quiet again; he had stopped playing, but still held me in the palm of his hand and squeezed me. "Your skin is so soft, too... and warm. Do you cum yet?"

    Again, I nodded, and before he asked, I added in a hushed whisper, matching his voice, "A lot."

    That surprised him. "Really?"

    I lay back on my bean bag again and closed my eyes. "If you keep that up, you'll find out just how much a lot really is." It was an invitation. I wasn't sure if Cody would accept it or not, but he was getting me worked up bad. I was sssooooo hoping he didn't turn me down.

    It took a few seconds, and I glanced at him as he continued to scrutinize at my crotch. He looked up at me briefly, then turned back again, evidently making his decision. Cody started a slow rhythm, shifting himself a little closer, and slowly he did it, with full contact and everything. He was now jacking me off with a firm grip, but loose enough so he could feel my skin as it slipped beneath his grip. I heard him whisper. "I'm not hurting you any, am I?"

    Hurting? No... effing... way! I whispered back "Heck no! It feels... so good..." How can you describe something like that, for a first time? I was so horny then, and it showed. Each stroke that he made, each time he pulled back to expose my glans, I could feel his breath on me. I was ecstatic! I had done this probably a hundred times or more in the last few months, but none of that jacking off compared to the pleasure, the sensation and thrill that he was giving me now!

    I remember opening my eyes and watching him as he did it. He had pulled my shirt up for me, exposing my whole abdomen up to my nipples almost, which I was grateful for. Cody's expression wasn't lust, it wasn't some wild crazed look like I had seen once before. It was relaxed, but simultaneously excited and curious, I think. He was fascinated, but in a good way. He caught my glance and grinned at me. "Is this okay? Does it still feel good?" he whispered. I was more than okay though, and I nodded back as I seemed to reach another plateau. It all just felt right to me, you know? My arm was stretched out by my side, and occasionally I felt something touch my fingers like cloth. Glancing down, I discovered it had inherently been stretched toward his crotch, and the touch I felt was him, his own fully hardened willy tenting forward from inside. I gently grasped it, feeling its hardness before closing my eyes. I heard him gasp, but he didn't slow down or stop what he was doing to me. If anything, he pressed forward while he gradually sped up.

    After a moment, Cody shifted around again, this time bringing his head down and laying it upon my belly, facing my willy. I had to let go of his hardness when he shifted, but I really didn't care. I was almost at that point of letting go, you know? The point of no return. I think he felt it too, as he continued to milk me. I've often wondered what he saw in me that night. The fact he had never seen anyone like me was obvious - the way he would play with my skin and all, coming all the way up and over the end, before gently squeezing me as he pulled it back down. I was in total ecstasy, and I starting moaning, getting that little tingle that begins in the bottom of your belly, and stretches down into your nuts. I knew then it was coming, and fast. I remember whispering to tell him just that, but he ignored me. My breathing was very ragged and short, and very quickly it began to rise.

    Cody had never let up, all the while pointing my dick mostly upward toward the ceiling. When I warned him that I was close, however, he changed and brought my dick down, facing him. I didn't have time to really think about that though, as my stomach tightened. My legs started stretching, and against the waterbed my mid-section sort of rose on its own, I think. My dick got harder even still, and hot, oh it was so hot as it suddenly pulsed. I must have thrust myself upward one last time, because then it came. My eyes were shut tight, and I was gasping for air, moaning and whispering expletives uncontrollably. It felt like a whole mountain top was blowing off, and gobs of my white lava were escaping everywhere. I had never, ever cummed as hard as I did right then, and the growl in my throat reflected how awesome it was. I think I could actually feel each pulse as it came up from inside, all the way from down deep in my nuts and then through my expanding dick.

    Cody never stopped, not even once. He kept milking me, pumping for everything I had. His head had even slipped down lower on my belly. I could feel hot little pools of cum splattering about there, and I could feel the ooze that ran down the sides of my cock, slipping in and around his fingers as the intensity pulled back. It was hot and slick, making a slippery rod for him to hold, and he eventually slowed down as it coated him toward the end. He was pulling harder on my skin in both directions, too, making me pop out as far as I could go, then covering the head as much as it would retract. How could one little organ, one little tool like that give someone so much pleasure? It was like nothing I could imagine! I didn't know how girls did things for their own devices, but I was 100,000% glad, at that moment, I was a boy!

    At one point, I started to feel sore, so I grasped at his hand to stop him from pulling so hard. He obeyed, slowing almost to a stop, but keeping a little rhythm in place. Was a boy's dick actually made to give this much pleasure, I wondered? All I thought was wow, as the hardest orgasm I ever had started to recede, how awesome it was. I fell back against the bed exhausted and still gasping for air. My hand found its way up his side and under his shirt, as he remained where he was, just gently playing with me still. I was spent, but I was coming down from a plateau I didn't even know existed.

    Cody lay there a little longer, but then finally stopped with my skin pulled back, just looking. I couldn't see his expression, as much as I would have wanted to. I did finally hear him exclaim, in a soft but clear voice, "That.. was... so... fucking... cool!"

    I couldn't help but giggle. I finally got my voice back then. "So, was that what you'd call a lot?"

    Cody turned to face me again, grinning widely. In the interim, he finally sat up and turned himself back around, stretching out beside me again. It was then I noticed something. "Oh my God!" I exclaimed. He had two, maybe three globs of my cream running down the side of his face.

    "What do YOU think?" he replied casually, then brought his hand up that had been doing all the work. It was covered, and I mean COVERED with my seed. I then glanced down onto my belly and saw two more blobs that had made it up and off to one side, pooled together and untouched.

    I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! In the end, I started to apologize, but he stopped me, laughing. "No man, it was cool, wwaaayyy cool!" Then he did something else, something that to this day still shocks me when I think about my first reactions to it. One of my spooges had landed close to his lips, so he took his tongue and licked it, pulling it inside his mouth. I was shocked to beyond speechless.

    Cody looked at me. "What, you've never tasted your stuff before?" he whispered.

    I shook my head, and although it was a moot point now, I stammered, "Y-you?"

    Cody nodded. "It's not that bad, really. One of my cousins' sort of told me about it once. It's kind of funny tasting at first, I mean kind of runny. It's not bad, though, just kind of silky, I guess. Yours..." He paused, sampling again. "I think yours has a kind of sweet flavor to it, but not like as thin. I dunno, kind of creamy like." He then took a finger, scooped a little more off the side of his face and sucked on it some more before nodding. "Yeah, kind of creamy."

    It blew my mind watching him do that. His face suddenly changed though, and I could see uncertainty building in his eyes. I shook my head and grinned though, to ease his worries. I remember looking down at my belly, and I saw it. I did it, I really creamed a whole lot more than usual! I had never had an orgasm that hard, never had that feeling of pure bliss run though me like it did that night. Those gobs pooled on my lower belly proved it by themselves. I ran a finger through one, something I had done lots of times before while just playing. Was it going to be icky or anything? I didn't know. I brought my finger halfway to my lips and hesitated, looking at Cody to be sure. He was holding his breath, but seeing my glance, he nodded and encouraged me. "Go ahead, try it...". I looked one final time and then just did it, poking it in my mouth. I tasted my own cum then, sucking on the end of my finger a little, sampling the prize.

    As disgusting as the thought originally appealed to me, the shock of seeing him do it lessened the impact, I think. Seeing the uncertainty in him also made me feel a little guilty, mostly because of how I had reacted. Here was someone having fun with me, in a totally open and cool way. I knew I should have been just as open with him, and that's what made me cross that first step. I sampled it, and at his questioning eyes, I smiled, nodding. "You're right, it's not bad at all. Kind of... uh, I dunno... different, like you said."

    Cody nodded back, then reached and pulled up the bottom of his t-shirt, wiping the rest of my cum from his face. He looked at me afterwards, and still using that hushed, husky voice, he spoke again. "Hey, hand me some tissues." I reached into the headboard on my side of the bed and complied, and he wiped up my pools for me. I thought that was interesting, almost amusing, but he seemed to want to do it, so I didn't say anything. Eventually he leaned out and put them in my trash can before rolling back onto his side again. When he returned, he wrinkled his nose and then giggled. "Man, you were right, you do cum a lot! It was so cool watching you erupt like that."

    I grinned. "Told you so!" I scooted a little closer then. "You know, I think I should probably thank you. That was so... so..." I couldn't put it into words.

    He giggled, then finished my sentence for me, in a voice barely above a whisper, "Fucking awesome?"

    I giggled again. Hearing him swear, and I remember wondering how much he actually did that. "Yeah, fucking awesome," I replied.

    Cody seemed pleased and rolled onto his back. He was in the middle of the bed just then, and I knew what I wanted to do now was return the favor. I looked down at him, and from what I could tell he was still sporting a raging, hard-as-a-rock boner in his briefs. I wasn't all that soft myself, surprisingly. I had softened, but right now I could feel the tightness coming back. Glancing at myself, I saw my foreskin had stretched back up over the end, but was having a little trouble keeping my head covered.

    "So, what's it like having that extra skin and stuff?" Cody asked me, out of the clear blue.

    I glanced up and thought about it for a second. "I don't know, really. I mean, I've never had it any other way, you know?"

    Cody laughed. "Duh...!"

    I giggled, but then had a sudden inspiration. I rolled over onto him, naked as I almost was, my underwear still anchored at my thighs, before continuing on to the other side. Leaning in, as if it were some kind of conspiracy or secret, I whispered into his ear. "Do you want to find out?"

    He gave me this weird look, like 'Duh!', or 'How do you figure to do that?' - that sort of look. I just grinned back. "Here, I'll show you. At least, I think I can, but I want to do something first, if you'll let me." Seeing his curiosity, I paused. "If you'll let me, I just want to see you, you know? I want to, like, look all over you, up close. Is that okay?"

    Cody just giggled and settled back on the bed, with his arms going limp at his sides. "I don't care Sean, you can do whatever you want." Then he added in a whisper, "I trust you, remember?"

    If it had been any other moment, knowing how alone I was and needed this friendship, I might have hugged him and even cried again. But instead, his answer was everything I needed. So, I started by lightly touching his face - his eyes, his lips, his ears. Nothing all that strange, I know, but I had never performed this on anyone my age. I had a cousin, maybe 3 or 4 years old, when one Christmas at my Grams house I helped put him to bed. He was squirming a lot, so I helped get him to settle down and go to sleep by doing this. I remember how it was so cool, just feeling all of the features of his face and back as I lay in the bed with him, just lightly touching what was exposed to me, and making him relax and let go of everything. Here, I had Cody, and I suddenly wanted to do the same - not to put him to sleep, but because I wanted to feel another boy, everywhere; I wanted to explore and see everything up close. Cody was letting me do just that.

    As I started, I really didn't dwell anywhere. Mostly I touched him really lightly, so much so that it tickled him in a few places. He never opened his eyes though, never complained. Instead he lay there totally relaxed, letting me have my fun. I got to his neck and let my hand go up under his t-shirt and around his collarbone, and explore around it and his chest. At one point he whispered to me, "That feels really good, Sean..." Encouraged, I took hold of his shirt and lifted it up, all the way like he had done to me, exposing his chest and belly.

    My hand trailed all over him softly - not so much as a sensual touch or anything, but a touch that took its time and went everything. I was propped on one elbow, like he had been, up really close. The more I looked, the more satisfied I became about how much alike we were. The human body didn't differ in most generalities outside of male and female parts, really. I knew that, but since the night had begun in the bathroom, I found my curiosity overwhelming me about him, my best friend. I played with his nipples a few seconds, leaning in close to watch them tense and harden briefly. I went down his sides, taking care not to tickle his ribs, but feeling each one just under his skin. I raised his arm closest to me, and looked underneath in his armpits, noting how smooth they were like my own. Then I returned to his belly, and so very lightly, purposefully caressed his navel. It wasn't sunk in like mine, with a little hole backing into the stomach. His, instead, was an outie, as we called it. Sunken in the center, but then closed off with perhaps a little bulge of skin underneath poking upward. This time I stayed there, lightly rubbing across and around it. It was the first actual tickle I had intended, and he reacted as expected, giggling and sucking in his gut from my touch. He kept his eyes closed though, so when his gut returned, I pressed harder, feeling enough down inside but not hurting him any. I could feel that little nub, and marveled at how different it was from me.

    Looking at the v-line in detail then as it came together down to the waistband of his briefs, I decided to go south then. As my fingers floated down, and I actually felt it before I saw it: Cody had the makings of a tiger trail, ever so lightly, leading down inside his briefs. It wasn't profound or anything, just light-colored wispy hairs that started below his belly button. I was fascinated by this for some reason, but I don't remember why. I played ever so softly with it as I followed it down to his waistband.

    I wanted to go inside right then, but I knew if I did, I would never finish what I was doing now. I'm sure that sounds funny, especially for a 12-year old. I mean, I was actually having fun, right? Instead of going inside his briefs though, I pulled one of his legs up, using my free leg to sort of spread it apart, then pulled his knee back onto me. He did the same on the other side all on his own, and the effect was he lay spread-eagled below his hips, each leg pulled back as if he were squatting on the floor. I couldn't get up like I wanted to, couldn't really move myself down between them, but I did kind of shift around then like he had done before. I used him to support me, and was able to sit up by then. My arm was on his belly, and very close to the throbbing cock still hidden in his briefs. I don't think he ever softened, honest. I could see it twitch every so often on its own. Perhaps he knew, or at least hoped, I would give him a treatment like he had to me. I intended to, that was for sure.

    I wasn't ready to go there yet though, as I once again started traced the features of his legs and thighs, working inwards toward the middle. The inside of his thighs was smooth, his legs almost the same way. He did have little, light hairs going down the front though, and I remember thinking it was cool because once again, he was like me. I didn't like hairy legs and arms back then - still don't, for that matter. I don't know why, other than I remember seeing older guys in gym class with a LOT of hair on their legs, and thought it looked ugly. His thighs though, like mine, were smooth though.

    I traced my finger inside each side, all the way up to the bottom of his briefs, and the bulge there underneath holding his nuts inside. I noticed on one side there was a gap between his leg and the cloth, and I carefully hooked a finger to probe around inside gently. I could feel his sac, his nuts; I could even feel some of his pubes, and how soft and silky they were. He grinned suddenly, and his tool throbbed yet once again. I think he was enjoying this as much as I was.

    Cody never moved, never really reacted to anything. The smile plastered on his face though spoke volumes. I think back on it now and wonder how he ever kept from just creaming right then and there. If he had done all that to me, even without the stroking I think I might have done it. I was being sensual, whether I intended to or not.

    I finally moved my hand and just let the fingertips walk up and feel the shape of Cody's cock through the cloth, laying it on top and grinning as I looked at him. He finally opened his eyes and had a reaction, one that also spoke volumes. He looked at me and grinned back, and I felt him pulse and throb yet again. His mouth opened as if to utter something, but instead a short groan escaped. He closed his eyes and I went back to studying him, wondering if I should do it now. I was almost ready to, then I remembered I had one more place I wanted to explore first. I stopped and nudged him, gently pushing, and his first reaction was he didn't understand. As I pushed harder though, he got the idea and stretching his legs out, rolling over almost onto his stomach.

    His back now faced me, and I lifted his t-shirt up the rest of the way, marveling at the smoothness of his skin. I let my hand roam between his shoulder blades and down his spine to the edge of his briefs. I took each of his butt cheeks in hand, feeling them too, as I circled back to the middle and returned to the top of his waistband. I then put my hand inside and repeated the performance, pushing down and feeling him again, thinking how cool and smooth his skin was. Finally, I took each side of his briefs and tugged them down in the back as far as they would go, exposing first one side, then the other of him to me. I wasn't so much of a butt person back then, not in a sexual sense anyway; what I remember liking was just the fact I could see it up close, in full light. It's the one part of the human body that no one can examine of themselves, on their own, right? It was cool to feel how smooth it was, and to actually run my finger up and down his crack ever so lightly. I remember he had these little dimples right above where it started, and that each of his cheeks kind of bubbled out, too. I pulled the cheeks apart, getting a brief glance at the hole there, but I didn't linger. When I let go, he clenched them together, drawing some sort of excitement or something, I think. I sighed, because I knew he would eventually get tired of me doing this, and although I really wasn't ready to stop, I didn't want him to get impatient.

    All of this probably sounds like I spent a long, looking over his body in manner unusually sensual for an early teen. The fact is though, it probably took only a couple of minutes at most. Even though I was growing up, I was still a kid, and if I ever repeated that performance again today, I can guarantee it would take a whole lot longer. Heck, at times I think I could spend an entire night with somebody, naked in a bed, and never have any sex with them if I could but do these simple things. Since that night, I have only gotten to repeat it once, although it was for a whole different set of reasons. On this night though, with Cody, I was a 12-year old that only had fantasies mostly guiding me; you know, the kind that get you worked up when you're all alone and needing some relief. I was incredibly curious, as I called it, and I remember thinking how I just wanted to see, really see, what somebody else was like, you know, whether other kids were like me. Whether he understood it or not, Cody granted me my wish. For that alone, I owed him, and I wasn't going to make him wait. I gently pulled him back over, and saw the expression on his face was pure bliss. It was one of those crazy half-smiles, combined with a peaceful look, all the while keeping his eyes closed.

    As he rolled back, he did shift his arms and put each hand behind his head before he relaxed. The bean bag had shifted, and he found it wasn't quite as comfortable as before. He took a few seconds to glance behind him and adjust it until it felt better, then just left his elbows folded back and pointing away. His underarms were completely exposed, but I resisted the temptation to reach in and tickle him. His underwear, still pulled down underneath below his butt, left the front taut and straining on both sides, and his still throbbing member trapped underneath posted a makeshift tent. The waistband was pulled down somewhat, revealing maybe half the distance from his waistline, and I paused for only an instant, noticing that he did indeed have this distinct v-line thingy running toward the prize, gradually converging into his groin. His whole belly area was smooth though, with only an occasional freckle in places that stopped it from being a perfect color tone. I also saw the tiger tail again, and knew I hadn't been mistaken, as it gradually showed up more the further south from the waistline it went.

    I held my breath in anticipation now, because I was going to do it. I grabbed his briefs at the waistline and tugged upward, actually pulling it free toward his belly and unhooking the tip of his willy. I pulled it down slowly, exposing him and his dick for my eyes to finally see up close, with a lot of light, and with my glasses. I glanced at his face, his eyes were still closed, but he had this look plastered there, this smile mixed with something else, and he sighed - like he was saying 'Finally!' in some way.

    To say he was different, I understood then more than I had ever realized before. I knew I was uncircumcised; it was a fact my Mom had taken time to explain to me once. I had also changed a diaper or two in my time, of boys, and seen how their miniature versions were different than mine, so it wasn't anything new, insofar as just knowing what it meant. Cody was the first boy though, that I had ever seen even close to my age, with a boner that was hard and totally stretched out like mine would get. The difference though, is that his wasn't covered any at the tip. His manhood, as it came into view, made me smile. I really didn't think we would be THAT different, especially once my own skin was stretched back, but I think seeing his state that way, made me feel a lot better about being, you know, more "normal".

    I knew most kids were circumcised; why I wasn't, I never really understood, and I was always too embarrassed to ask Mom or Dad about it. To tell the truth, it never bothered me. I just figured I was special in some way - whether I was or not. Here, though, Cody gave me as much of a view as I had given him earlier. We didn't measure, or at least I didn't back then, but if I were guessing I would say he and I were about 4-1/2, maybe 5 inches then. Certainly, we were better than the 3-inches most post-toddlers end up with for those few years before you hit your teens. His was the tightest I had ever imagined seeing though, even by my own standards, in its hardened state. The glans was mostly smooth, the slit peeking out at the tip. His glans and entire ridgeline gave way to the rest of his shaft, gradually working down to his pubes and nuts. I lightly touched his tip, and again it pulsed as he throbbed underneath. I then touched his cock all the way up and down, all around lightly with my fingers, and I came to realize just how smooth it was, even pulled tight against a rock-like hardness that throbbed more at my touch.

    These were things I had never taken notice of for myself, I think. It's actually kind of funny how it comes to mind, when we're feeling someone else up. I pulled his underwear the rest of the way down in front and traced his cock all the way to its base. There it connected to his scrotum, and I had to sit up more to see them and that area between his legs. I cupped them, feeling them for weight. The cloth from his briefs was kind of tucked underneath and in the way, so I pulled them down further along the sides and front, completely freeing them from his crotch. He giggled a little, one of the only sounds I had heard from him for some time, so I decided to go all the way and pulled the briefs down until they came off his feet. Now with only his t-shirt on, but still moderately pushed up and exposing most of his chest and belly, my best friend was practically naked. He opened his eyes and looked at me, grinned again and then moved, coming out of his stillness at that moment before removing the shirt completely. Tossing it aside, and lay back yet again before my eyes, this time wearing nothing between him and my eyes, and under my hand.

    I took him in for an instant, and then reached for his crotch, gently taking hold and raising his throbbing willy so I could see underneath. His pubic hairs were like mine, a dark brown, but not widespread. Mine might have been a little thinner, I think, as his seemed bushier to me, but his were not thick at all. If anything, they were soft and silky. I think I remember that part more than anything, about how silky they felt to me. I don't think I ever checked myself that way, but it was cool to feel them on him.

    I wrapped my fingers around him then, and started to stroke, moving up and down ever so slowly. Part of it was because I wasn't sure how much pressure to apply. I mean, with my extra skin, I knew what it was like for me. For him, though, I didn't. He was right, it was different, and I had to experiment a little to figure out how massage him so that I did it smoothly. Cody throbbed so hard at my touch, even moaned and pursed his lips. I remember even to this day, seeing how his skin had to work its way up over part of his glans and then came back; it never completely covered it, his tip being rather more pointed in comparison to mine. Like him, I muttered a single word: "Cool!" I meant it, too, mostly because I could now see how it was so different than me. There was something else, too: I learned how jacking off someone else, like him, gave a whole new meaning to perspective. That might be why he placed his head on my belly, because seeing it up close, feeling it in your hand - I don't know, you could almost call it an out-of-body experience. It was fascinating to me.

    Fascinating or not, Cody was getting impatient. He opened his eyes made contact with mine. Smiling, he urged me to go on. "Do it Sean, jack me off... I'm going flipping nuts down here!" I nodded and he closed his eyes, giving another huge sigh. I knew at that point it was time. My playing was over, and it was time to get down to business.

    I leaned in close, whispering. "Okay, roll toward me first." This time, tugging at his hip, he did as he was instructed. When we faced each other, I had to scoot back a little in order to get into position. He opened his eyes again, watching me and wondering I'm sure about what I was thinking, especially when I pushed my own briefs the rest of the way down and off of me. Other than my t-shirt, I was now as naked as he was, and although I would have been more than willing, at that moment I wasn't going to take the time to remove it, knowing I had more pressing matters at hand.

    I looked down and shifted until our dicks were touching. I was once again rock hard and even throbbing myself by now, making me giggle at first. With my free hand though, I moved his hip and told him to hold steady, and when the waterbed settled, I thrust toward him ever so carefully. Our tips finally met, and I reached down and pulled my skin back. When our glans met, an electrifying pulse went through me. Cody giggled, grabbing my hip and trying to do the same to keep us in place.

    I stopped wiggling and pushed against him, taking hold of myself and bending my cock downward, putting my tip directly onto the end of his own. He got still when he realized what I was doing, touching both of us together this way, and he took his hand and helped me by holding his own cock. Then, with them end to end, I shifted my skin forward. Out slits were practically kissing each other when my skin started to cover his glans and envelop him. He moved his hand back, and gasped as I took hold of us both, pressing harder so I could engulf him as much as possible. I had just enough extra that it covered probably two-thirds of his of his dick head. He gasped again, moaning. "Oh man... oh... sshhiiitttt...", shutting his eyes, a look of shock and bliss mixed across his face. "That f-feels... incredible..."

    He wasn't the only one feeling it at the moment, either. While we were entrapped with each other, I was getting a feeling, too. It was like we were joined in unison, and in a way, we really were! "Mmmm....", was all I could say, the kind of moan that comes from one of those electrifying thrills you reach when something just seemed so perfect. I tried moving my hand back and forth, grasping his own and mine both. I heard him mutter under his breath, this time not stopping in mid-sentence, "Oh sshhhiiiitttt, Sean, oh fuuccckkk!"

    Cody watched what I was doing in awe. "Like it?" I asked. He looked at me and could not say anything at first, but when he did, it was just another one of those soft expletives that escaped. To emphasize the point, he grabbed my hand and made sure I didn't move away.

    The only bad thing about that moment, as great as it felt as I could do this - for HIM - I couldn't keep it very long. I was having to hold myself in place, using both legs and knees to find a balance, and it was awkward at best. The odd angle pushed down on my bad knee, and it began throbbing in protest. Maybe if we had been standing up, maybe if we were situated differently in some way, it would have worked out to do this longer, but right then it required a lot of my effort to just hold his throbbing shaft and mine together. He thought it was awesome I know, and I admit it was kind of cool. In all the sex play we had participated until then, this was the first thing that actually joined our privates together, you know? Like, in real sex, you're supposed to put your willy inside a girl, right? To our minds though, what could boys really do? Not much, as we thought back then anyway.

    Reluctantly though, I couldn't hold out any longer. I backed away and looked at him apologetically. "Sorry, Cody," I whispered, but I think he understood. He grinned and rolled onto his back again, before scooting next to me once more. At that point, I wanted to give him anything I had, anything I could now.

    I lay my head on his chest and started to slowly jack him off, holding him with a gentle firmness, enough so I could move his shaft up and down. "Whoa! Ohhh... yeah..." he moaned, and I giggled. It wasn't the words, but more of just the way he said it. "That feels... so... so...." He sighed deeply, as I continued to slowly thrust up and down. I remembered how I was excited at feeling every little change in him. Until that night, no one had ever touched me, never grabbed me and gave me the joy he had given me like this. Jeremy had tried, but you know how that went. This was... it was different and better, in so many ways. I didn't know if I was his first to do this or not, but I didn't care. I watched his glans disappear in my fist before popping back out. Although it was interesting to me, I'm sure it wasn't near as fascinating mine had been for him.

    There is one other thing I can remember about that night, too. His willy was silky and smooth-like, yet hard underneath at the same time, and yet I could detect an odor, a scent I guess, ever so light that reach my nose. I was surprised I think, especially since we had just had a bath; but then I remembered that, of all the places we washed and stuff, neither of us had really paid much attention to our groins. That musky-like scent was interesting to me, because it smelled like I knew I did sometimes. For some reason, I think it aroused me, too, turning me on even more. How many guys ever got stimulated by a scent like that, I didn't know, but for some reason, I was.

    Before I finish this out, understand something, please. I can't explain what that did to me, and I don't even think I want to try. What it did do though, was help me decide something I had already begun contemplating ever since I saw Cody sample and taste my cum. When I tasted my own, and saw it wasn't anywhere as icky or dirty as I thought it would be, I started wondering what his would be like. Then as the minutes passed, somewhere in there the thoughts came to me about what I had heard on the bus one afternoon, and then in gym class another day. Guys were getting their dicks sucked, or so they claimed, and one in particular was telling his friends every minute detail about how some girl had done it to him. I wasn't stupid; ever since hearing that, I had fantasies about it even on some of my loneliest nights, in bed, while I satisfied my own teenage urges. The thing about this night though, what made me nervous anyway, was not knowing how Cody would react if I did it to him. It was the only sex-like thing I could really think of besides getting naked and jacking off. The big one, you know, screwing, was way out of the question, and besides - in my mind, you only could do that with girls. So, this was like the ultimate act, I think. I was just nervous about how my best friend would react to it, you know? Would he be okay, or would he hate me thereafter, thinking of me in certain other ways? I didn't want to lose our friendship, honest! I think I finally realized I was going to talk myself out of it though, if I didn't give in and just do it, right then and there. My curiosity won out, and thinking back on what he had done for me, I think ultimately it was something I wanted to do, my way of giving back to him. I was going to take a chance, but only because we had already come so far, and neither of us was afraid of the other.

    So, I did it. I moved my head off his chest and down to his belly, a lot closer to his shaft than I think he got to mine. I was stroking and bending the tip of his cock toward me, and slowed my rhythm. It was now or never, I think, so I slowly worked my mouth over his glans. I let it sit there for a couple of seconds, getting used to the feel and idea, before I moved my head further south on him, effectively pushing his dick inside until it submerged into my lips. I heard him gasp. "Whoa, what the...?" I heard him stop though, and whether he was looking at me or not, I don't know, but then I heard this moan of pure pleasure escape. I just lay there, not sure if I should let go or what. I was ever so slightly moving my hand up and down along his base, and when he didn't do or say anything else, I took him inside, going down on him until his dick filled my mouth. He was inside of me, and I could no longer avoid touching him with my tongue. When I finally did, I got my first taste of Cody, and it was surprisingly nice - warm, silky, soft and musky. I then let my tongue reach out for all of him and slipped it around his glans and slit.

    "Oh shit!" he whispered, grabbing the back of my head with both hands, but instead of pulling me off, he was encouraging me to stay there, not letting me slip away. It was then I knew it was okay, that he was getting something good from it. I heard him again, that soft cursing, like something evil but immensely gratifying. It made me feel kind of happy inside then. I mean seriously, we hardly ever cursed - period. Our parents would have had our ass if they caught us using foul language, and being church goers, well... you get the idea. So right then, I knew all of this was genuine for us both. And for me, I was tasting him, I was tasting my first boy cock of all time, and sucking on it. To hell if it was wrong, or dirty, or not normal; I was doing it, and liking it, and I had no doubt Cody was liking it, too. I was getting the flavors of his skin, of his scent, engulfing my senses. His pubes tickled the tip of my nose when, and as I started moving up and down - a kind of instinctive reaction, I think - my nose brushed inside of his pubes and I got more of his scent then.

    I was inexperienced, as anyone could figure out, but after a bit I pulled off of him up to just his tip. Cody was still holding his hands on my head, gently pushing and urging me to go back down, but instead I stopped and swirled my tongue around and tasted his most vulnerable, and sensitive spot. I was kind of fulfilling, in a way, especially as I felt him start to squirm beneath me. I licked over the glans, around his ridge; I even tasted a little drop of something on his slit, and thought it was different, so I sort of started concentrating there. It would be a full year though, before I would come to learn about precum, I think. They say you have to be older before you experience that. I don't think so, though. Cody was giving it up, albeit in a small amount, and to this day I know that's what I was sampling. In turn, Cody was going wild underneath me by then, moaning and bucking his legs up and down. I held firmly in place though, and played a little more. I got a lot out of that moment, his dick inside of me, but nothing like I think he was getting in return. I finally relented and went back down on him, taking him inside again, licking the whole time and getting my own ravenous pleasure from him.

    I knew then it was about to happen, and sure enough I didn't wait long. He started bucking more, I think to push himself inside of me as far as he could go, sometimes not. I found out I could take him inside almost all the way, but not completely. Not with him thrusting, anyway. I could feel a change coming about though, something I didn't so much feel for myself when I jacked off, perhaps I was building a climax in other ways. My hand, still gripping his base, could actually detect when his willy started pulsing differently. I could almost imagine, too, that his cock was starting to expand even more. I knew at that moment I had to make another decision, whether to pull off or not. I still had time, but I think having tasted my own, and losing the volatility of it being anything gross, made me curious as to what Cody would taste like coming fresh from the source. That said, I decided I was going to go through with it all the way, and it was a good thing, too - because he was there. He tried to warn me I think, but like him, I just stopped listening at that point. He was inside my mouth, and as the swelling took over, the first splurge of cum emptied into me. I took my hand from his base and cupped his nuts, fingering them lightly, as I one last time latched myself down all the way inside again and suckled him.

    Cody cummed... and man did he cum! He creamed me like there was no tomorrow, hitting the back of my throat with wave after wave of seemingly big gushes. His spooge filled me quickly, and I had to back off somewhat because his dick erupted so hard. Once, twice... three times more, and each was seemingly like a gulch that had been let loose. I backed off all the way to his tip, my mouth now filled with his boy juice, as the bigger of the eruptions slacked off and lessened. The intensity was another story though. One of his hands was on the back of my head, squeezing, hard; the other I found later had actually been pulling the comforter halfway down the bed. He had arched upwards, his whole body stretched rigid and straight. I could feel his belly tense around me, radiating heat while all everything culminated right at the end of his dick. He had cried out, in barely even a whisper, more curse words. "Oh, fuck... oh shit... Oh ffuuccckkk..." I didn't mind, as it was just me and him, just us. I finally gulped, swallowing most of what I had taken, pulling off of his dick and letting my hand take over again, stroking him in full. Still more white cum appeared in small amounts and seeped down the sides, but I lay back on his lower belly to just watch it as it came out. When he seemingly stopped, I took care and engulfed him yet again, taking him inside and licking up everything around the end of his dick.

    Cody moaned yet again, a deep gutted moan that made his insides vibrate, making me giggle as I finally stopped and pulled off. In silence, I just watched in amazement as he softened, retracting in the minutes after. His breathing, like my own, was sharp and erratic at first, gulping for air. It steadied though as I lay there. I listened to the distant sound of his heartbeat as it slowed, too. His taste also lingered in my mouth for a time, and I remember thinking how it had a hint of sweetness in the flavor, but was more kind of nutty and salty. Definitely different than my own, as I continued to find out in the months ahead, on my own.

    Foremost though, I was happy - happy that I had did it for him, and happy he got so much out of it. I finally turned my head the other way, now looking up toward his chest and into his face. His eyes were open, and he was staring at me. We did that for a moment, before he barely whispered yet again "D-do y-y-you know what you just did... for me?"

    I giggled a little. "Um, I think so, yeah." I looked at him. "Did you like it?"

    "Oh man... Oh God, Sean... You have no idea what that was like... it was so fucking awesome..."

    I moved my head further up on his chest. "I know, bro. I could hear it from you - I could feel it."

    He looked at me, almost like he was in awe or something, which giving what I know now and looking back, I guess he was. He hesitated though, and then asked. "H-have you ever done anything like this stuff before?" his eyes searching mine.

    I thought for a second before I answered, "Only in my dreams Cody."

    "With me?"

    I giggled. "Sometimes... Honestly though, I never thought it would happen. I thought if I ever did it in real life, you'd start calling me a queer or something, and ... and..."

    "Shut up," Cody said instantly. "You're no more of a queer than I am, if that's worrying you. Sheesh, Sean, I'm the one who stripped us naked, remember? Besides, I would never tell anyone, you know that."

    "Yeah, I know. If I didn't trust you, we would have never made it this far. You know too, right?"

    "Damn straight, I know, yeah. Come here..." He then hugged me, or at least, as close to it as he could given our position and everything. I already knew it wasn't the surprise or the shock of it all, that he didn't think what I had done was something revolting or disgusting. For me, instead it was just another one of those little things that passed between us. I still refuse to believe, even to this day, that it was what you would call a real love between us, like a boyfriend or girlfriend (or in our case, boyfriend and boyfriend) kind of crush. We were too young to really grasp what that sort of thing meant, outside of understanding what the kids on the bus were always going on about. If it was, then we'd really belong inside that label probably - such as being queer and all.

    I think I've had a crush a time or two in my life before that night, but being the shy type, it was something that only made me feel miserable inside afterwards. That's why I didn't feel it so much with him, because with Cody, I wasn't alone. I think back then, love for me was instead just having a deeper friendship, like a commitment to someone, or somebody, like my Mom or Dad. I knew Cody and I had such a deep friendship; we were best friends, right? Never, until that night, had I thought of our friendship was built so strong on the trust that let us do this. From the moment Cody first asked me, 'Do you trust me? Do you really, really trust me?', that had played over in the back of my head constantly. So, when we got still, when we got to that point we were both coming down from the heights we had reached, it was a serious moment. Mind you, 12-year old boys CAN have serious moments occasionally - but probably not with the kind of drama I read about in other stories. He proved it, when he spoke up and added something more. "Sean, you understand, right? I don't care what we do, because I trust you that much. I have an older sister, and she's okay about some things, sometimes anyway, but she's not like you. You're like a brother to me, you know that? Of all my cousins and family and everyone, you're the one like me more than anyone. You're the one who gets me the most, and understands me. That's how much I trust you."

    "Now do you believe how much I trust you, too?" I asked him just as quietly.

    Cody giggled and then, I think, he did it to me a second time. I had already hugged this kid of mine more than once this night, but each new time seemed better than the last. This time he pulled me up to face him directly and then he went for it like I had done, and hugged me close. He did not let me go for a long time. When he did let go, I sort of snuggled up into his side. He was still naked, and I was almost in the same state, but neither of us really cared. I lay my arm over his belly, and pulled us together. We both had gone soft by then finally, and I really didn't care at that point whether we did anything more or not. Just seeing him and being with him was everything to me. We talked a little, and for once, I can't say what all we talked about, because I honestly don't remember. I think he asked me something about what it was like when I sucked him, and I asked him was it his best cum ever, or something. I just knew I was feeling something good with him, and I told him, and he said he felt the same.

    At one point, he stopped and observed me. "You are okay, right? You're not hiding anything from me?"

    I nodded, kind of rubbing my nose. "Heck yeah, I'm great Cody!", and I meant it. "Like you said, I'm fucking fantastic!" It was breaking our mood somewhat, I know, but I was on top of the world next to him. He laughed, and so did I, giggling as we were getting so used to doing anymore.

    Cody moved his arm around me, and my head was then snuggled in on top of his shoulder. "You know, I could hold you all night like this," he mused, leaning his cheek against me.

    I looked at the clock: it was almost 11:00! Not that I cared that much, but it seemed like time had just stood still, then all of a sudden rushed by us. I groaned and sat up, found his t-shirt and put it on him, followed by his underwear. He let me do everything completely, only lifting his hips a little when I needed him to. He was amused when I also took my time, and gave his willy one last tug before I covered it up. "Can I ask you something, and will you be honest with me?"

    "Sure," he replied simply, waiting.

    "Is this, like, the only time you think we'll ever do this stuff?"

    He sighed in relief, I think because he was expecting something worse. "I hope not," he said, making me grin. Then he sat up and repeated the performance for me, putting my briefs back on me, and taking a moment with my willy, too. Then with little effort, we turned out the lights and crawled under the covers in the bed. Until that moment, I never noticed - not even once - we had left the bedroom window still up. Outside, it was still raining, but not as hard as before. My room was pretty cool, just the way I liked it, but that night I had something in addition to the warmth of my waterbed. I had him with me, and everything was perfect. It seemed to be that way for him, too. We tried to lay facing each other, our hands meeting in the middle and our fingertips just touching, but it was difficult, so we ended up on our backs, but intertwined and holding onto each other in different ways.

     I reached for his hand and locked fingers with him. "How about you? Are you okay?"

    Cody kind of grinned and whispered. "Sean, I'm fucking awesome!" I giggled, and I knew we were sort of back from that point of swearing anymore, that the taboo was slowly ending. At least for now, and I was okay with that. He paused, however, and then spoke again. "Um, can I ask you something else?"

    "Sure," I answered him and waited. He hesitated, and even started once or twice to say something, but stopped. When he didn't say anything, I added "What's up?"

    He was struggling with something. Beyond what we shared with each other, beyond the sex, beyond the sensual moments and everything else - that whole night came down to what happened next. You know, I write this telling you everything I can remember as if it had happened yesterday, and I have given every piece of detail I can recall, from my heart and memories. Not just for you, but for me too. Still, I have to tell you this: that night - that moment - this is what I remember the most, this is what I have kept in my heart the most for the last 10 years or so. I remember leaning over to him. "What's wrong? Don't you trust me?"

    He nodded and looked at me, not giggling this time, but being so very serious. "You know, don't you? You know how I feel, inside..." He made it like a statement, but his voice was like a question.

    I remember smiling, because I did know. If it hadn't been made so obvious to this point, it was now. "Yeah, I think I do. I know I feel like I've gained you as my brother tonight, too. From the moment you first called me Bro."

    It was his turn, I think. There was a catch in his voice as he replied. "You had me before tonight Sean... You've had me for a long time. I know it, Sean," before he fell to a hushed whisper and finished, "because I love you. On the inside, it's like I said it earlier, you are my brother. No one gets me like you do." There, he said it again. We both had that thing between us, that bond. "I don't think I would ever have gotten naked with anyone else, you know? At least, not kind of close and everything like we just did. I don't think of it as being gay or anything, but-"

    It was my turn then. I put my hand over his lips fast and stopped him. "No Cody... don't." I hesitated, thinking. "Honestly, I don't either. This is us, nobody else. No one knows anything about what we share between us, because it's only you and me, you know? We're friends - best friends. Like brothers, and it doesn't make us gay or queers or anything." I was still in denial then, even with all my fantasies and everything, and I didn't even want to think about that stuff anyway. I knew what it meant to us both, especially when it came to our church and what all that would imply otherwise. We both even knew what it would do to us in school, too. "We're just both curious, you know? Tonight, we gave each other something, that's all." He nodded, looking relieved, then to break that serious moment, I grinned at him. "Besides, I thought it was fun! I still hope we do it some more, too!"

    He giggled and then laughed. "I do too!" Then he turned to me again and whispered "Thank you Sean. I meant it, what I said." And he mouthed those words again, 'I love you'. I don't know, maybe he did think of it that way, and I probably did too, because I felt like everything was gushing up inside of me. I did the same back, mouthing it wordlessly, because I think in some way it meant more that way. We started talking for a long time afterwards that night, in a much lighter mood, giggling like crazy now and then, staying close and snuggling. A lot of talk turned to sex, and how we wondered about girls, but also about other guys, too. Cody was the first person I ever felt comfortable around to do it with. He wasn't afraid to admit when he didn't know something, too, which was much better than someone bullshitting around like I've seen and heard. He asked me a lot of questions, like what did I think of his willy, or what was it like when I sucked him and stuff. I tried to tell him, but in the end he admitted he would have to find out on his own later. That made me giggle. I asked how was that, and he said I would find out soon enough. I knew then it was going to be with me. When, I didn't know or care, but he practically admitted it was going to be me.

    I asked him a lot of questions too, like how it felt on his end. We even talked about girls, wondering what it must be like to screw them and all, and how different it had to be when they went down on a guy and sucked them. That part of the talk did not turn me on, but as it was just us talking, it was okay. I remember we both agreed blow jobs couldn't be all that different than what I had just done to him. The sex stuff came easy to talk about with Cody, and he didn't hold back on me any. He even admitted to me he had been having a lot of dreams and fantasies too, from everything like imagining being in the shower with some of the guys at school, and what they might be like - just like I did - to wondering about girls and their breasts and everything. He even admitted he had caught his sister once, by accident, when she was in her room. Being his sister though, he just apologized and walked back out, without taking the time to pay attention. I asked if she was mad at him, but he shook his head. "Accidents happen, Sean. I'm sure she has seen me naked a few times, too."

    "Wow," I admitted. "I guess I find it hard to think sometimes, about people not being afraid like that, like you."

     He arched his eyebrow. "I am afraid, though. Just not with you, not tonight." He wrinkled his nose before turning to face me directly. "Sometimes I think it just happens, whether you want it to or not. Like, if you take showers after gym, or after sports and stuff. Nobody thinks so much of it then, you know? But, I've walked by the bathroom door lots of times on my cousins, and they'll be in there peeing and everything, not closing the door. It just happens. Getting naked on purpose though, like we did? I would only do it with someone I trust Sean."

    "And you really didn't care if I saw you or not, like we did?" I asked.

    Cody thought about it for a second. "When I first started stripping you, I admit I was nervous. It's why I stayed behind you. I figured, heck, seeing your ass was just a little thing, and maybe we could get away with just that. But as we got in the tub, and you were sitting right on my you know what, you didn't care. I thought to hell with it, I had just stripped you and saw your ass, and I was holding you - really holding you all naked like - and well, I just didn't care either by then. So yeah, I was cool with it. You were already feeling me and everything, so what was there to be shy about?"

    I giggled. "Cody, that's not all that different than what went through my head, you know? Only, I was really hoping to get to really see you before we were done."

    Cody laughed. "I was hoping to get to see you, too." He paused, then whispered in my ear again. "And we did, didn't we?"

    "Fuck yeah," I replied, snuggling in close again.

    When we got sleepy, we started spooning each other, sometimes taking a break more or less, but other times we shifted just so we stayed in contact, close with one another. I loved the feeling of being next to him and sharing his warmth. He told me he really liked it, too. It was like a whole new world opened up for me. I think what I got out of all of it, was the fact it made me feel more normal than I had ever really felt before. Maybe it was because of the emotions of the whole evening or something. I don't think the whole impact of that feeling really hit me until after the weekend was over. I mean, we went back to school on Monday, and for the rest of that year - heck, even the rest of junior high school I guess - I had a new attitude, not feeling so abnormal anymore. That was a good thing. In a way, Cody had given me so much more than he ever knew, so much more than I ever got to tell him, too.

    What else did we talk about that night? It really wasn't all about sex stuff. We talked about our home life, and I mean really deep-down stuff about his parents, his sister, my Mom and Dad and their divorce, and what it had done to me. He had heard the rumors of me being a butt-head at school, and I broke down and told him the truth. I remember he admitted he was lonesome a lot too, but even he acknowledged that he probably wasn't anywhere as bad off as I was. He had a sister, and unlike me, lots and lots of family, meaning cousins and whatnot of all ages. In the end though, he again told me he had always thought of me as his brother, and that made me feel special. It was then I think I was spooning him, with my arms wrapped around him squeezing him tightly. I think I whispered thanks in his ear one last time, too. It wasn't long after that we fell asleep. At some point, I heard Mom come home, and realizing I was still holding onto him, I quickly rolled to the other side of the bed before she opened and peeped in my door. I knew she found us, thinking we were asleep, because she came in and moved to my side of the bed, before leaning in and giving me a kiss on my forehead. She didn't usually do that, and I've got to tell you, I felt more loved that night than I had in a long, long time. As she headed back downstairs and disappeared, Cody rolled over and snuggled up close to me, spooning me not too tight, but putting his arm over me. I was content, as I took his arm in mine and went back to sleep.

 - + - + - + - + -

     I offer no apologies, no excuses for this being a long chapter. I threw everything I could into making it as real as I felt it that night, as real as I wanted to remember and keep it in my heart. With Mom home, the rest of that weekend was fun, but we both knew we had to be careful, mostly because she didn't let me out of her sight for very long. She made sure I spent Saturday off the knee as much as possible, so I would recover quicker. Basically, Cody and I kidded around, played video and board games mostly over the next couple of days. That Saturday night, all three of us - Cody, myself and my Mom - got into a long, long game of Monopoly. Cody, the stinker, almost ended up being victorious, but it was still a lot of overall fun. When we finally went to bed, we were surprisingly tired, so long and drawn out really by what happened between us. I mean, we did hold each other, and jack each other off again, but compared to the night before, it was just a quiet time that night. Sunday morning, Cody woke up before I did, and I remember those details very clearly. It was the first time I got sucked, and the experience was everything Cody led me to believe it was. I did it for him again, too, reaffirming I was okay with it for my own part, but also because I wanted to. Our bond had grown more by then, as special as it was between the both of us. I doubt I'll write any more on this part though, because like I said earlier, those first time impressions were my goals, and to give you insights to what went through my head, perhaps what I was thinking about and why. I hope it helps somebody, somewhere down the road, deal with being alone and seeing how I dealt with my alone-ness. I mean...

    Even though life sucks sometimes, it has also got its' best moments.