Over the next few days I was approached by various members of my family, as they came to offer me their own unique take about how to handle the situation with my older children. I listened to their suggestions about how they thought I could resolve this problem and then thanked them for their input. Although I tried to be polite and let everyone express his ideas, I was getting tired of listening to everyone else tell me how I should handle my own life. Finally, I announced I wouldn’t discuss this topic further and everyone left me in peace - that was everyone except Jake.
Since Jake was convinced he was the cause of my problems and the root of this situation, he felt he should be part of the solution as well. I decided I owed him at least that much, to ease his conscience, but Jake was the only one I would allow to continue this discussion. I did have one stipulation, however, and he would only bring this up in private and when I wasn’t involved with other things.
Now that I had issued my ultimatum about others butting into my personal problems, the boys seemed to focus their attention on how best to help the Beckers. They talked about what their group would do when their turn came up on the schedule, including anything they thought they might do to help, even if Mr. Becker didn’t ask. They also tried to devise activities for their limited free time, which they planned to use to divert Little Ricky’s attention from his problems.
Once the first group knew what they were going to do, I called Albert and arranged a time for us to come out. It was decided anytime on Saturday would be fine, so we’d all go out and help them this weekend. The first group would stay at the farm until the following weekend, when we’d bring the next group out to replace them. By having each group go out on Saturday, Jake and I could help out as well. Mark could drive out and spend the day with us, if he still wanted to participate, and from what he said, I was sure he did. He could drive back Saturday night or Sunday morning, but the rest of us would help out on Sunday too and return home Sunday night.
Albert thanked me numerous times for what we were doing and told me how much it would help him. He also thought it would benefit Richard the most, since he was becoming very concerned about what might happen to him, if his adoptive mother completely lost touch with reality. I told him I understood and would give it my best effort to assuage his son’s fears.
The first group consisted of Danny, Brandon and Andrew. The college boys thought they should go first, but they also split up according to size and work ability as well. That way some of the boys could do the physical labor, while the other(s) could take care of the less taxing chores. It seemed like a good plan, but we’d soon see how it worked out.
During their stay at the farm, the boys not only helped the Beckers out with the daily chores, but they freed Mr. Becker up to spend more time with his wife. When she was in one of her more lucid states, they would talk and joke around with each other, but during the other times he would literally have to take care of her, as you would a small child. It was difficult for us to witness, so I could only imagine how tough it was for Richard and him, but we did what we could to allow them to be together as much as possible.
The boys began by helping out with the normal summertime duties, such as the haying, but they also helped take care of his crops and animals as well. Depending on weather conditions and how quickly the hay grew, they would do at least two and possible three cuttings before they returned to school.
They would continue this routine until the fall, and then those of us who didn’t leave for college would come out on the weekends to help Mr. Becker harvest his modest assortment of crops. He grew these mainly for his own use, but when he had more than he needed, he would also share the excess with his friends, put a modest amount up for sale at his roadside stand or sell a share to the local stores.
The boys were all quite pleased they were able to make an impact on lessening the workload for our friends, but they also enjoyed the time they got to spend with Richard, in between doing the various chores. They would try to get him involved in things he liked to do, like skinny-dipping in the pond, but they would also do other things with him, when he suggested it. It was obvious they’d do anything for someone they thought of like another brother.
As we approached the end of June, our hectic routine began to become familiar to us and kept us all very busy. However, I still hadn’t forgotten what had happened concerning my older children. It still pained me deeply to think they were so intolerant about sexual issues, but I hoped it was only because it had to do with their father and didn’t indicate a general bigotry towards gays. I continued to try to push it out of my mind, but it would pop up again when I least expected. The one thing that hurt me more than anything else was that their decision was going to greatly alter my relationship with my grandchildren. Otherwise, I think I might have been able to work my way through what was going on.
One thing that did bring me out of my funk, at least temporarily, was when Nick called from Brazil (or should I spell it Brasil, as they do down there?). He was very excited and seemed to like his host family a lot. They happened to have two sons, one about Nick’s age (Will) and one slightly younger (Marcos), so that didn’t hurt either. I immediately reminded him of the concerns we went over before he left, although I feared my comments were falling on deaf ears. If I were a gambler, I would bet Nick would probably be in both boys’ pants before the week was out, if he hadn’t been already. I sometimes wish he wasn’t quite so sexually aggressive.
Nick also told me about the school he was attending, the people he’d met and the area he lived in. He informed me he was quite fortunate to have gone to the family he had, as there was basically no middle class in Brazil and the people there were either quite wealthy, with servants and all, or fairly poor. Fortunately for him, his family was quite well to do and he was going to have it quite easy while he was with them. He was very excited about everything and mentioned once again how cute he thought the two sons were. When he finished, I reminded him one more time about the things we’d discussed before he left to spend time with his parents.
We then went on to talk about other things, such as how everyone was doing, before I let him chat briefly with some of the boys. When they had finished their conversations, I got back on the line and we talked a little more, before I finally said good-bye. I reminded him to keep in touch, and he promised he would, and then I told him I loved him and missed him, before I hung up.
The next item on my agenda was getting ready for our vacation. Most of the arrangements had been made previously, but then put on hold during Cody’s illness, but now that he was gone, I saw no reason why the remainder of the family shouldn’t enjoy some of their summer. Of course, I had made some changes, such as removing Cody and my grandson from the equation, while adding Peter, but basically we’d follow the plans I had come up with in advance.
I did take some time to sit down and discuss things with Peter, so I could get an idea of the types of things he might like to do. He was pretty open and receptive to almost anything, so I pulled Ricky aside, to see if he could give me an idea of the types of things Peter enjoyed. In the end, I came up with a couple of additional ideas, which I’d try to fit in with my existing plans.
I also tried to make certain we didn’t leave the Beckers stranded, without any help. The last time I was out to the farm, I took time to go around and speak with Mr. Becker’s neighbors, to see about getting some of the young men from the area to cover for my boys while we were away. I offered to pay them more than adequately for their help, although most of them claimed I didn’t need to compensate them at all for doing the ‘neighborly thing.’ Nonetheless, I would make sure they were rewarded for adding to their own workloads, as the majority of them would still have to do their own chores on their family farms while also helping out the Beckers.
Frankie and Mark had informed me they’d only be joining us for part of the trip, as they couldn’t afford to be away for an entire month. Mark would take his two-week vacation and join us for the first part of our trip, but that’s the most time he could possibly be away from work. Frankie was going to go with us for the same two-week period, but it wasn’t due to his limited time off. Frankie had been looking for a job since his graduation and felt he couldn’t be away for any extended period of time, just in case a job offer came through.
Frankie also offered to help out on the Becker farm when he came back and while we were continuing our vacation. That way, he’d be able to check for messages on possible job offers, while still helping out on the farm. Mark said he’d spend the weekends out there too, not just Saturday, and I thanked them both for their assistance and thoughtfulness. I also went over what they might want to pack for their time away, before I went over similar information with everyone else.
Although we were planning to leave for vacation on Saturday, the week after the Fourth of July, our plans were about to experience a few snags. First, Mark came home one evening and announced he now had to go away for a conference the week before we were to leave. Another person was supposed to go, but he’d just quit, to start a better job in New York City. Since the reservation had been made, paid for and non-refundable, Mark’s boss told him he was next in line to go. Mark didn’t dare refuse, so he agreed, but he knew this might mess up his going on vacation with us.
It was an investment seminar, which was right up Mark’s alley, and it was going to be held at a resort in Upstate New York. Mark’s boss was fairly insistent he should go, since it would expose him to others in the field and introduce him to new strategies and approaches concerning what he was currently doing. It would also familiarize him with analyses about the current market and what to types of things to be aware of in the future.
This event was being held several hours away, at the Concord Resort in the Catskill Mountains. I knew it was a marvelous establishment, since I’d been there before to attend various educational conferences. I informed Mark there would be many other things he might be able to do while he was there, besides just attend conference sessions. I went on to tell him the resort also featured two golf courses, tennis courts, horseback riding and various nightclubs to occupy his spare time. I hoped this information might give him a better perspective about attending, since he was slightly bummed out by suddenly being forced to do this. Try as I might, Mark insisted he wouldn’t have that much free time, so he’d just stick to doing what he was there for.
We discussed his various options of getting back and forth, since he’d be the only one attending this time. In the end, he decided, due to his time constraints, it would be best for him to drive. That way he could return on Friday, during the early evening hours, and would still have time to get his things together. That way, there would be no problem with us catching our flight Saturday morning.
The weekend before we were to leave on our trip, we left Mark at home to pack for his conference, while the rest of us went to the Beckers to do our thing. When we arrived, Mrs. Becker didn’t know who we were or what we were doing there, so we stayed clear of the house, so as not to upset her. A few hours later she spotted us going about our duties and asked her husband why the boys and I hadn’t come in to say hello. At that point he called us over and explained the situation, so we went in to offer our apologies and tell her we hadn’t wanted to disturb her. I knew this was very difficult for Mr. Becker, judging from his reactions, and he looked as if he had aged ten years in just the past few months.
We worked hard all day Saturday and most of Sunday, but we left earlier than normal, so we could get back to say good-bye to Mark before he left. Mr. Becker and Richard thanked us once more for our assistance, and we left Dustin, Cole and Graham to finish out the week, with a promise that we’d be back early Friday to pick them up for our vacation. We said our good-byes, got back into our vehicles and headed home. When we got there, Mark was nearly frantic.
“Dad, there’s something’s wrong with my car and I can’t get it started,” he quickly told me. “I’ve called around and can’t find anyone who is willing to fix it today. They all say wait until tomorrow and bring it in, but I can’t wait. I have to leave tonight, so I’ll be there in time for the morning registration.”
“Mark, calm down and don’t worry about it,” I told him. “You can take the Grand Am and Jake and I will get your car fixed while you’re gone. Does that solve your problem?”
“You’d do that for me?” he asked, somewhat surprised.
“Certainly. You’re part of this family too,” I reminded him, “and we help each other out.”
“But won’t the other guys need the Grand Am during the week?” he asked, concerned.
“Don’t worry about that, we’ll survive without it,” I assured him. “You just take it for now and we’ll work our schedules out so we can get along with the other vehicles.”
“Dad, you’re a lifesaver.” He gushed, as he gave me a big grin and an even bigger hug. “I really do love you.”
“I know and I love you too,” I replied. “Have you finished packing?”
“Yes, I’m all done with that,” he confirmed.
“Good! Then give me your keys and I’ll get you the keys for the Grand Am,” I informed him, “and you can leave whenever you think you need to. Just drive carefully and give me a call when you get there.”
“Are you worried about your car?” he countered, confused.
“No, I’m worried about you,” I informed him, “and I make all the boys call me when they go on trips. So you’ll be no exception to that rule.” He flashed me another grin and nodded, before he headed into the house to finish his preparations.
After Mark left, I called the other boys together and explained what they needed to do during the week, to prepare for our trip. I asked them to pack separately for the two completely different trips. They were to use their suitcases to pack for the first two weeks and then use their backpacks for the second two weeks. They said they understood, but I also asked them for help getting things ready for the three who were working at the Becker’s this week. I had plenty of volunteers for that duty, so I picked two boys to cover for each of their missing brothers.
While the boys were taking care of their things, I pulled Peter aside, to see what he needed. He had his own suitcase, so I supplied him with the backpack I had set aside for Cody to use and then sent him off with Ricky. I figured Ricky could help make certain Peter packed the right items, since I didn’t want to get miles away from here and find out he’d forgotten something.
Once everyone else was packing, Jake and I went to get our own belongings ready. We already had most of our things together, so it didn’t take us long. When we finished, we went around to check on the others and see how they were doing.
Since Frankie only had to pack for the first two weeks, he tried to help out wherever he could and did almost any task the others needed a hand with. He did laundry, helped take boys to the mall to pick up things they discovered they were missing and even helped iron a few badly wrinkled garments. He even helped me take Mark’s car to the garage the next day, so my mechanic could work on it while Mark was gone.
I was very impressed with the way Frankie handled himself and went about his fatherly assistance. As I watched him, I marveled at the growth he had shown since Steve had first brought him to my home. Then, Frankie was hostile, disruptive and a threat to others, so much so that I asked to have him removed. I’m certainly glad he showed up at my door after he’d straightened up his act, and I’m grateful the boys encouraged me to give him another chance. If anyone could prove you could indeed change the spots on a leopard, Frankie had.
There was still a lot to do during the week and we all kept busy. On Friday, I took the van and drove out to the Beckers to pick up the boys that had been working, but didn’t take a new crew with me. I chatted briefly with Albert and Richard when we first got there and both told me how much work the three boys had done during the week. I then informed them how I had arranged to have the work covered while we were away and then they thanked us again and told us to have a good time.
I had previously offered to take Richard with us, but he didn’t want to leave his parents, for fear something might happen to one of them while he was away. He also said there was too much work to be done and he didn’t want to leave his father to cover his chores too. I didn’t push the issue, but told him we’d miss him.
Dustin, Cole and Graham were anxious to get back home, so they could get ready for this trip, and I was glad to see them so excited. Dustin told me he had worked on Mr. Becker’s furnace each night, to get it ready for the winter. He changed the filters and tweaked it so it was running more efficiently, and felt that would save them some money and keep them warmer when the cold weather hit.
When we got home, I sent the boys up to shower and check out the packing the others had done for them. I told them to make sure they had what they wanted and needed, because I wasn’t go to allow them to blame anyone else if they were missing anything. They said they understood and would be responsible for their own things, but thanked us for helping them get ready.
While they were doing that, I drove down to the cemetery, so I could place flowers on Brent and Cody’s graves and spend a few quiet moments alone with them. I had never been one who frequented cemeteries or spent time conversing with the dead, but since I’d heard Graham explain his gift and listened to how he got messages from the dearly departed, I had changed my tune. Now, I wanted to make sure both boys knew they were still important, not forgotten and still a part of our lives. It may have been more for my benefit than for them, but it was something I felt I had to do.
After I visited the boys’ graves, I went to another section of the cemetery, so I could also spend time with my wife. I needed to seek her understanding with my current situation and beg her to somehow intervene with our children, concerning this matter. Although she had given me her approval about what I was doing with the boys, as was passed to me via Graham, I needed her to understand about my relationship with Jake too.
I explained to her that while we were married I had been true and devoted to just her, but since her passing I had found happiness with another man. I went on to tell her it didn’t mean I loved her any less and that my love for Jake was different than what we shared, but I hoped she would understand, approve and not be offended by my current situation. I wasn’t sure if any of this would change anything, but it did give me a chance to express my feelings out loud. After I finished our little conversation, I got into the van and drove home.
When I got back, Mark was already there, and the boys were helping him do his laundry and pack for the trip. We would get up at 8:00 in the morning, and hit the road by 10:00.