We pulled out of the hospital parking lot and Cheryl asked where I learned to give first aid like that. I told her that it was something that Mom had insisted on even when we lived in L.A. I went to a class every year to brush up and re-certify my CPR skills.
"I just wish someone was around who could save my mom," I said, then I started to shake and cry uncontrollably; it wasn't about being scared or adrenaline or anything else. Up to that point I hadn't really dealt with the grief of losing my mom and when it hit, I was helpless. I kept repeating "Mommy" and crying like I might never stop.
Dad stopped the truck and came around to pull me out and hold me. Between him and Cheryl, they got me to the point where we could head back home. Lyka and Trev huddled as close as seatbelts would allow and we managed to get back to the ranch without trouble.
I took a shower with Lyka and made sure the bag kept his cast dry. I didn't really feel romantic so we were done fairly quickly. After I was sure Lyka was dry and dressed, I flopped on the bed and conked out, I was exhausted. I woke up about one a.m. with warm bodies on either side of me. It feels good to be loved like that, they each had an arm over me. It wasn't easy but I squirmed around and managed to escape.
What had awakened me was the realization that I had never read the letter from the safety deposit box. I put the hospital scrubs on because they were handy and comfortable and swiped a robe from the bathroom door, then found my backpack.
I dug out the letter and sat at the table in the kitchenette. A light over the table provided enough light to read but not enough to disturb the boys sleeping ten feet away. I sat down with a coke and opened the letter.
My dearest Duncan, I am so sorry that I will never see you grow to be the man that I know you can be.
It's important to me that you are happy in life so read this carefully.
I have known for some time now that you are not like most boys. Although you do all the things that they do, you have a special way about you that meant you would have some trials in your life.
From a very young age, you seemed much more interested in attractive boys your age than girls and you expressed a desire to kiss them. I suppose your peers told you this was not right and that you were weird if you kept it up.
It doesn't matter to me if you are straight or gay, what matters is that you are happy in life and you get to follow your dreams whatever they may be. Don't worry about people who don't like who you might love, they are ignorant and not worthy of your consideration.
Keep the people you love close to you even if you are a thousand miles apart. That is my hope for you.
I have a request that you can carry out whenever it can be done. I don't want it to be a burden and I don't want you staring at an urn on the mantle. We discussed this once and I'll bet you remember. I would like my ashes scattered at Moro bay. I suppose from a boat would be the best way.
Finally, I want you to treat Dan and Cheryl like family. They are taking on a lot raising you. They have always been wonderful friends and Cheryl is the closest thing to a sister I have ever known.
Take shelter in their arms and Dan will teach you to become a man and a father, Cheryl will teach you how to love and experience joy. They both have a lot to give, Duncan; so be sure to give back. Take the McCann name and keep Seward as your middle name.
I know you will be reluctant to call Cheryl "Mom" but it is my hope that you will. It will give me peace to know that you have someone to say that word to, and I couldn't have found a better person for it.
I have faith that whatever energy has combined to create me will survive, and I will always watch over you.
Your Loving Mother, Moira
A hand reached around and offered me a tissue box.
I took one absentmindedly and then spun around to see Dad standing behind me in sleeping shorts and a tee.
"I didn't hear you come in," I said.
"I was on the couch actually.
"Cheryl thought I should crash up here so I could watch you guys for nightmares and such.
"Lyka had one a while ago where you didn't make it out of the car. It worries me, too. I don't know what I would do if I lost any of you boys. I heard him sniff and looked up to see tears in his eyes.
"You and Trev ran towards the noise and madness and the smoke and flames didn't sway you. You're in a very small fraternity son and you have to know that you are both welcome members. I will worry a lot less about you boys after seeing that.
"And I know Michael would have been there alongside you if not for his leg and Cheryl. He's good with little ones you know. That boy calmed right down in his arms and stayed quiet and watched Cheryl help his mom.
I managed to stand up and give him a tight hug; as I stood there, I took in his smell, a combination of sweat, soap and faint cologne. It was a great smell and I'll remember it as long as I live. Standing in the dark holding my dad and being held by him, I realized just how lucky I was. We sat up and talked for quite a while, it was almost three a.m. when we went back to our beds.
As I crawled in, Lyka reached for me and offered a very explicit favor, "Dad's sleeping on the couch but I don't think he's asleep yet." A man's voice called out, "Nope." If I could see infrared, I could have read a book by Lyka's face. I tugged his hands around me like a blanket, kissed them and we fell asleep. When I woke up I felt a familiar item poking me in the butt, I reached behind me and stroked through the fabric of shorts I didn't remember Lyka wearing. I gave it a squeeze and realized it was way too big to be Lyka's.
"The boys are on the couch watching TV so I laid down here."
I let go like it was a red hot poker and started stammering, "I... I... I'm really sorry Dad, I thought you were..."
I felt a kiss on my cheek, "Honest mistake son, don't worry about it. I know who you thought it was. And at first I thought it was Cheryl." Another kiss on the cheek, "I think I'll go and see how she's doing this morning. Can you guys get by on cereal this morning?"
I blushed a little and said, "I think so, tell Mom I said Hi" and immediately regretted it, "I mean after, Shit! Never mind, I'll tell her myself later," I managed to stammer.
"Awkward much?" asked Dan.
I put a pillow over my head and groaned. As he rolled out of bed, he gave me a light squeeze on my dick which was still in business for itself.
After he left I crawled out and marched over to the couch and stood in front of Lyka preparing to snarl at them for leaving me in there with Dad, but Lyka in typical good form said, "Oh, I didn't know this place had a buffet," and he leaned forward and swallowed me whole. It's very difficult to carry on a tirade when someone is sucking on your penis. We were both surprised when I began to squirt after just a couple minutes.
Trev looked on in awe and finally said, "You were saying?"
I plopped down between them keenly aware that I needed something to eat.
"What cereal do we have, I don't think Mom is going to make breakfast this morning." It took a moment for the pennies to drop but both boys finally said, "Oooh!"
Then Trev said, "Oh shit, you thought it was Lyka and you grabbed him didn't you." My blush gave him his answer.
"Poor Mom!" he said, "she's really gonna get it this morning."
Lyka's eye's popped. "Dude, that's your mom you're talking about."
Trev looked back at Lyka, "I know, I'm really glad they still get it on, I think it's cool," he grinned at us both.
"So, cereal?" I asked again hopefully.
Trev grinned again and said, "Fruit Loops, Cheerios and Rice Krispies for sure, I don't know if we have Life, but there are Bagels and fruit in that metal box by the fridge."
Around lunch time, I ventured downstairs to look for signs of life and found Cheryl in the kitchen. I walked up behind her, hugged her and said, "Hi, Mom." I guess my voice was more emotional than I realized because she patted my hands and it took her a while to speak. "Hi honey," she finally uttered. I told her about my mom's last letter to me. We hugged for a long time and she kissed my cheeks. "Would you like some lunch?" I said yes and she asked me to get my brother and her other son and she would feed all of us.
Cheryl and I took a long walk as she showed me around the place. We talked a long time and she agreed that after the breakdown the day before, I should call Doc Chandler and have a long talk with her. She said they would be happy to arrange a therapist nearby for me to talk to but that I should discuss it with the Doc and get a referral if she knew anyone local.
A week after the New Year, I started my classes at the Genoa Academy. It was everything Lyka and Trev had said it was and more. I began learning better French and German and getting really great piano lessons. The school is great with fantastic science programs and great teachers that are really involved with the students. I'm learning to play baseball and I'm not bad. By spring, I might be able to do league play.
I've learned to ride horses, dirt bikes, quad runners and drive a pickup around the ranch. I'm even getting the hang of the utility tractor so I can move the manure to the composting pit.
We spend a lot of time going on excursions to see some of the wilder places in Nevada. There are real mining ghost towns close by, no souvenir shops or food carts. Just old buildings and abandoned machinery.
We visited a mustang rescue ranch and there were some beautiful horses there. I decided that I would have Ken make a donation to them for the work they do, they don't just help horses. Mustangs account for several serious traffic accidents every year so I thought it would be a worthwhile cause.
I had been doing a lot of thinking about my inheritance, I was determined that most of it would be used to help others.
Shortly after school began, a local attorney came to the house to get the documents signed so that Dad and Mom could adopt me legally. I was already in their custody legally but the adoption would make us all one family. That weekend Mom started barfing in the morning first thing. We boys were clueless, but Dad had a pretty good idea what was up. Gabe brought us home the following Friday and Mom was showing Dad a test kit with a plus sign on the handle. I think Gabe was the happiest of all of us. We were all pretty pleased and I look forward to being a big brother.