It had been two weeks since the boys met. They had spent every day at school and several afternoons together. They were becoming more and more comfortable around each other. This, to both boys, was a blessing... and a curse. Both had initially been attracted to the other physically, but in the time they've spent together, they were becoming more attracted to each other on a more personal level.
Andy was faring better than Tommy since he had come to grips of his sexuality before meeting. Tommy's emotions, on the other hand, continue to plague his ability to accept Andy in his life without being conflicted and confused. He was finding it more difficult to hide his feelings from Andy, but he also thought he felt something coming back. Something Andy wasn't telling him. He was more and more confused.
One Friday evening after Andy had gone home, Tommy once again went to the Trevor Project website and entered the chat.
Tommy: Hey guys
Roger: hey tommy, how ya?
Ashi: hello tommy, good to see you again
Mikie: whats up, man?
Tommy: im a little confused
Roger: what ya confused about?
Tommy: well, theres this guy I kinda like
Ashi: Cool!
Trevor(mod): Hi Tommy, what about this guy?
Tommy: well, I really really like him a lot and I think he likes me but I don't know if he likes me like that.
Trevor(mod): have you told him you're gay?
Tommy: what? No way!
Trevor(mod): why not?
Tommy had to think for a minute before answering:
Tommy: What if I tell him and he gets all weird on me? What if he hates me?
Trevor(mod): From what I've heard from you, I don't think he'll react badly, but, you need to do what you think is best.
Tommy: I dunno... I guess.
Tommy: We are supposed to go to the mall tomorrow.
Ashi: Man, you've been cool since you been coming here, just do what you think is right. You will know when it's the right time.
Tommy: Thanks Ashi, you've been one of my best friends here.
Trevor(mod): Ashi gave you good advice, Tommy. Follow your heart.
Tommy: Thanks guys. You're awesome.
Tommy disconnected. He sat on his bed thinking. He was a little nervous about a lot of stuff that related to Andy. Maybe he should tell him what he was feeling. But what if it went wrong?
Meanwhile, Andy was talking to his Grandfather on the phone:
"Hey Grandpa, I need some advice."
"What kind of advice?"
"There's this kid at school. Since I've been here, he's been the best friend I could ask for. Only..."
"Only, you think you like him as more than a friend?"
"Yeah, kinda. Heck, I don't even know if he's gay!"
"What does your heart say, Andy?"
"My heart tells me I think I love him."
"Well, you asked for my advice, so I'm going to give it to you. As I see it you have two choices. One, tell him. Or two, wait and see what happens. Telling him means you risk him reacting badly, but on the other hand it shows you are willing to go for what you want. Waiting and seeing what happens is safer, but it will take longer if his feelings for you are actually the same as yours for him."
With a chuckle in his voice, Andy replies, "Gosh, Grandpa, that really doesn't help much."
"Andy, You have only known him a couple weeks. If I were you I'd wait. Just a little while longer. You never know, he may be having this same conversation with his Grandfather."
"Yeah, you might be right, Grandpa. Thanks. I love you Grandpa Mike!"
"I love you too, kiddo."
Andy hung up the phone and went to his bed. He couldn't get Tommy out of his mind. Everything about him was perfect. In his mind's eye, Andy saw Tommy. He fell asleep with Tommy on his mind. He began to dream.
Andy was walking along a beach. The sun was shining, a slight wind blowing. The sound of the waves gently crashing upon the shore. The smell of the fresh sea air. The feel of the sand beneath his feet and running through his toes. As he walked he heard birds singing. It was relaxing. He continued walking, then, off in the distance, he saw another person, standing, enjoying the view.
He approached the person, eventually realizing it was another boy, about his age. He was still too far away to make out exactly who this person was. Slowly, he approached and eventually saw that the boy standing there was Tommy.
It was at that moment that Tommy noticed him and waved. Tommy called out,
"Hey Babe, it's beautiful here isn't it?"
"You called me, Babe?" Andy said in a confused tone.
"Oh, come on, we've been calling each other that for over a week. Ever since you told me you were gay and I told you I was too. Don't tell me you forgot this..." Tommy then wrapped his arms around Andy and kissed him. A deep and passionate kiss.
Andy was lost in the sensation. The feel of Tommy's arms around him were as comforting as he'd ever felt. Their tongues, as they dueled for supremacy excited him as nothing ever had. The kiss continued. Andy felt Tommy moving them, sitting then laying on the sand under Tommy's body. Having Tommy's body half laying on him added to his excitement. The feel of Tommy's skin on his, the sensation of Tommy's heart beating in his chest. Tommy's hands caressing Andy's body. His chest, sides, hips, and legs.
Andy was further aroused when Tommy broke the kiss and began lightly sucking on Andy's neck, alternating with kisses, then gently kissing his way down until taking a nipple between his teeth and gently nibbling on it. Tommy then moved further down, kissing Andy's chest, then stomach. Tommy stopped at Andy's belly button, gently probing it with his tongue. It was at this time that Andy first realized they were both naked.
Tommy then moved down and gently licked Andy's hardness, from tip to base before moving back up and allowing it to enter the confines of his hot and moist mouth. He went down on Andy's inches slowly and sensually while his hands stroked Andy's balls and thighs. It was mere minutes later that Andy felt his release fast approaching.
His breathing became labored, his body began to tense up. Andy's tongue flicked across the velvety skin of his scrotum, as his tongue followed his balls on their way up to his body as his orgasm peaked. With a silent scream, Andy unloaded his seed into that hot and moist cavity that was Tommy's eager mouth.
As he was about to look down at Tommy, his eyes opened. He was in his bedroom laying on his bed. The lights were still on. He felt a bit uncomfortable then noticed the wetness on the front of his jeans. He stood, removing his jeans, then his sodden boxer briefs. He'd dreamed it all. But, Oh! What a dream.
Tommy was thinking about what it might be like having a boyfriend. He loved the thought, but was just too afraid to make it happen. He was too afraid of what his friends would think. What would his mother say? He knew that eventually he would have to tell his mother at least, but it was too soon.
Tommy went downstairs and into the kitchen. His mother was there just finished with cleaning up from their dinner earlier. He went to the cabinet, taking a glass, then to the refrigerator where he poured himself a glass of Sunny D. He sat at the table as his mother turned to him.
"You okay, Honey?"
"Yeah Mom, just thinking, that's all."
"Anything you want to talk about?" Tommy's mother asked. Tommy could sense his mom gently prying at his thoughts. His mind went into lockdown, as he wasn't ready to talk about this. His fear of rejection was too great and the fear is real. He can't risk his mom knowing this.
"Nah, I don't think so, Mom. It's something I need to work out on my own; at least for now, but I love you. I'm going to bed."
"Tommy, you know that if you ever want to talk about anything I'm here for you, right?"
"Yeah, thanks Mom. See you tomorrow."
"What time are you and Andy going to the mall tomorrow?"
"Around 11. We're going to get something to eat in the food park then go see that new Zombie movie."
"Ok, do you need a ride or more money?"
"Well, a few bucks never hurts!" He said with a grin.
His mother laughed, ruffling his hair and said, "Ok, go to bed, I'll see what the treasury has in the morning. I love you, Tommy."
"Love you too, Mom, G'Night."
He went back up the stairs, stopping in the bathroom for a pee. When he'd finished he looked in the mirror and for a moment imagined Andy standing behind him, kissing him on the neck. Shaking his head the vision disappeared and he thought to himself, "Damn, I've got it bad for that boy!"
He went to his bedroom, stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. He was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. It was a peaceful, yet dreamless sleep.
Morning came and Andy woke feeling better than he had in ages. He looked forward to seeing Tommy that morning. He looked at his clock seeing it was just after 9:00am. He got up, thankfully noticing he hadn't had yet another wet dream. He took his time looking through his closet to pick out just the right clothes. He wanted to look his best for Tommy. After, he went to his bathroom and took a very long shower, paying attention to his hair and making sure he was extra clean in the areas normally covered by his underwear. He let his mind wander as the hot water caressed his body and relieved his morning hardness.
After dressing and spending a long time making sure his hair was perfect, he went downstairs finding his father sitting at the table in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. He took down his favorite cereal and reached for the milk in the refrigerator. Grabbing a bowl and spoon he sat across from his father.
"Boy, you look spiffy today Andy. Got a hot date?" His father asked with a chuckle.
"Tommy and I are going to the mall and gonna see that new Zombie movie."
"You've been spending a lot of time with Tommy, anything I should know about?"
"I wish, Dad. You know, I like him a whole lot, but I don't even know if he's gay."
"Well, you know what Grandpa Mike would say..."
"Yeah, I do actually, I called him last night."
"You did? Wow, I guess you are serious about Tommy then. Just be careful, okay?"
"Thanks Dad, I will. Oh, can I get a few bucks for today?"
"The Bank of Dad is always open, you know that. Twenty enough?"
"Yeah. You're the best, Dad. Thanks." Andy said as he finished his cereal. He then got up, put his dishes in the sink and walked over to his dad, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"That's one thing I love about having a gay son, you're not too embarrassed to show your Dad some lovin'."
Andy looked at his father with an odd expression, his eyes widened and stared.
"Not that kind of lovin' son, you can save that for Tommy!" Causing both of them to laugh.
Andy heard his phone ring, taking it out of his pocket and looking at the screen he saw it was Tommy.
"Hey!"
"Hey, it's about 10:00, mom said she would give us a ride, can you be ready in like 20 minutes?"
"Yeah, that's cool. I'm pretty much ready now."
"Ok, see ya in 20! Bye."
"Ok, Bye."
Andy hung up his phone, telling his father that Tommy's mom was going to drop them off on her way to work and they'd be there to pick him up in 20 minutes. He then went back to his room and checked himself out again, making sure he looked perfect.
Tommy woke up feeling a bit nervous. He was having feelings that he was still a bit confused about even though from what he understood it was pretty normal. He was thinking about what they'd said on the chat about whether he should just tell Andy how he felt. At that moment he still didn't know what to do.
After showering and dressing in his best and coolest looking clothes he went down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. His mom was making pancakes which were probably his favorite breakfast. He sat at the table with a glass of Sunny D about the time his mother had finished making breakfast. She put a plate in front of him then sat across the table with her own.
"Looking forward to your day with Andy today?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"You guess? Is something wrong?"
Tommy sat flustered for a moment, unable to eat.
"Okay, you're not eating, and I made pancakes. Something is bothering you, do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't know, mom, I'm not sure you'd understand."
"Try me, remember, I love you, and no matter what, I will always love you, even if you told me you were gay."
Tommy looked at his mother totally shocked! "You know?"
"Tommy, mothers always know. Well, I didn't know for sure, but let's say I suspected."
"I was so scared you'd hate me if you knew."
"I'm hurt. You know I would and could never hate you. You're my son, nothing in this world is more important to me."
Tommy got up and hugged his mother. "I love you mom, thanks. You just made my life a whole lot easier."
"So, is Andy gay?
"That's the problem. I lo.. like him a lot, but I don't know if he is or isn't and if he is if he likes me that way."
Tommy's mom didn't miss the fact that her son almost said he loved Andy. "Well, if he is, and he does like you that way, he's a lucky boy. But, when things get more serious, please promise me you'll be safe, okay?"
Tommy's face blushed beet red, stunned and didn't know how to respond. He lifted the whole bowl of cereal and wolfed it down, washing it down with a glass of Sunny D. He didn't really know how to respond to his mom about that, but the reminder helped. All of the thoughts he'd had about Andy and something as simple as protection wasn't even remotely on his list in the heat of the moment - even if it were only dreams.
"Why don't you call Andy and ask if he could be ready in about 20 minutes and I'll drop you guys off on my way to work. Oh, and here's $20 you asked for."
Wrapping his arms tightly around her neck, trying to hide the tears welling in his eyes, Tommy says, "Thanks Mom, Love you."
Tommy then called Andy and it was set to pick him up 20 minutes later.
Fifteen minutes later, Andy was standing at the front window watching for Tommy's Mom's car to pull up out front. He was both nervous and excited. This could actually be considered their first date, if they were out to each other and 'together'. Finally, he saw the car pull up.
"There here Dad, I'm leaving, Love you!" He called to his father.
"Ok, I'm heading to work, I might be late. Have a good time and be careful!"
Andy grinned, opened the door and walked out to head to the car.
As he approached the car, Tommy got out of the front seat and opened the back door for Andy.
Andy sat down and was then surprised when Tommy closed the front door and was starting to get into the back. Andy moved over so Tommy could sit. He wondered why Tommy would move to the back?
"What's up, Andy?" Tommy said as they bumped fists.
"Looking forward to today. I think the movie is going to be great!"
"Yeah. Me too. But I think being able to just hang out with you is gonna be fun too!"
Andy was puzzled. Did this mean anything? Was Tommy sending the kind of signals he hoped he was? Tommy, on the other hand was mentally kicking himself. How gay did what he said sound? He thought to himself that he needed to tone it down a little.
"So, I figured we'd check out a few shops at the mall, then get something to eat. The movie starts at like 3pm, and when it's over, we can get the bus back home." Tommy suggested.
"Sounds cool. My dad might have to work late, so if he does, and it's okay, maybe I could hang at your place until he gets home. I hate being in that new house alone."
Tommy's mother interrupted. "I don't have a problem with it, but I'm not likely to be home until about Nine. There's frozen pizza you guys could make if you get hungry. Tommy, make sure Andy's father has my cell number. Just in case."
"Thanks Mrs. Taylor, I'll make sure to give it to him and I'll leave his for you."
"Very good, Andy, and call me Becky."
"Ok, Mrs... um.. Becky. Thanks for the ride by the way."
"You're welcome, Andy, I hope you two have a good time."
"We will, Mom. Can you drop us off on the far side from the theater? That way we will only have to walk one way. The bus stop is right by the theater." Tommy said, more to shut his mother up before she said something that would embarrass him than anything else.
"No problem, that's the closest entrance to where I need to go for work anyway."
Tommy then turned back to Andy. "I've been looking forward to this ever since we agreed to go." As soon as he said it he thought again how gay he was sounding. Andy just grinned.
During the ride, Tommy felt Andy's hand on top of his. He had dreamt of this moment for so long. Andy's hand felt soft and warm. Tommy felt so nervous, but Andy's touch made him feel so happy. A kind of happiness he hadn't experienced before, where his heart told him it felt right. He turned to Andy find Andy was also looking directly into his eyes, head tilted a bit to gauge Tommy's reaction. They felt this moment together. Tommy questioned if this feeling of happiness, satisfaction, and fullness was love, from something as simple as hands touching.
Andy, seeing what he thought to be Tommy's acceptance, started lightly brushing his thumb on the back of Andy's hand. He could have sworn he heard a contented sigh from Tommy.
Finally, Becky dropped the boys off at the mall. They walked in and strolled along looking at various shops. Neither had any plans to buy anything, but they had fun looking at things. Eventually, they arrived at the food park.
"So, what do you want to eat, Andy?"
"I dunno, maybe we could share a pizza?"
"I don't mind, but we'll probably have that for dinner. How about we get one of those two foot subs and share that?"
'That's cool."
The boys got their sub, some chips, and a drink for each and sat at a table to eat. They talked about whatever came to their mind, just enjoying each other's company. They hadn't talked about what happened in the car specifically. Tommy didn't know how to approach the subject, and honestly, didn't know how to talk about it without potentially saying something wrong and ruining the whole thing. Eventually, they finished their food and smiled at each other. Conversation stopped and they looked at each other, smiling.
All was going well, until Tommy noticed someone approaching their table. Shock. Blood drained from Tommy's face as the person got closer and closer. Tommy's face was pale white, scared but expressionless, as he didn't know what to do. Was this the moment that he feared? Would this person ruin everything he'd hoped for with Andy?
Standing in front of their table was Curt.
"Not going to introduce me to your friend, Cutie? Curt said to Tommy. Curt checked out Andy and smiled slyly at the two sitting.
"Um… what are you doing here, Curt? I thought you didn't come to this mall."
"I was actually looking for you, you stood me up a couple weeks ago. And I thought you liked me. So who's this stunning boy?"
Andy's expression appeared unamused. "I'm Andy."
Andy ignored Curt offering his hand to shake then Curt turned to Tommy and asked, "Did you tell him you're gay yet?"
Tommy was mortified. He didn't know what to say. Andy gave him a reassuring smile and stood up."He hasn't told me he's gay, and I haven't told him I'm gay either. It's totally uncool to out someone in front of somebody you've never met. Now leave!"
Curt smiled. "Okay, maybe I'll see you around."
"I hope not!" Andy growled as Curt walked away.
Tommy was in tears. Andy moved to the other side of the table and wrapped Tommy in his arms. "It's okay, Tommy."
Tommy knew it was over, his mind was circling in the fears he had expected in his worst predictions. The relationship he was developing with Andy would be lost, his hands covered his face as he cried, softly.
Through his sobs, Tommy suddenly realized what Andy just said earlier. He wiped the unattractive snot from his nose and said, "Wait. Andy, are...are...are you really gay?"
"Yes, I am. I hope you don't hate me now."
Tommy was stunned. Why would he hate Andy? This was the best news ever! He realized this might be a joyous occasion after all. He gathered himself and thought a moment before saying in barely more than a whisper, "I am too, and I think I love you."