Saturday night turned out to be one big free-for-all. It started with the boys doing a little wrestling in the family room, but soon spread throughout the entire house, and was followed by major pillow fights. To make matters even worse, the rest of the boys were in collusion in an attempt to scare the piss out of Sammy, Andrew and Dion.
It all started after the wrestling and pillow fights died down, and Danny started telling one of my ghost stories in the living room. Just as he was getting to the scariest part of the story, Ricky and Cole pressed their faces against the outside of the two living room windows, with grotesque Halloween monster masks covering their heads, and turned on flashlights under their chins, right on Danny’s cue. If that weren’t enough, they were also making all sorts of loud noises and banged on the window, to make sure they had their victims’ attention, to heighten the effect.
It seemed Ricky and Cole had been able to slip out unnoticed by those three earlier and I hadn’t even been forewarned about this event. Therefore, when I heard all the screaming and hysterics, I came running into the room, to determine what was going on. I actually thought someone had been seriously injured, at least judging from the noises I heard. Shortly after I burst into the room, I saw the older boys begin doubling over in hysterics, as the other three were screaming and trying to get away. Once the younger ones realized they’d been had, they began punching everyone in range, as payback.
Once that uproar quieted down, the boys started getting ready for bed. I’m sure there was a great deal of hanky-panky going on in the bedrooms that night, but there were too many boys for me to keep track of. However, I did notice some things, like the fact that Cole and Graham let Sammy and Andrew stay with them. Sammy and Andrew were still a little shaken from some of the earlier scares, so Cole and Graham agreed to let that pair stay in the jungle room for the night. I had been assured they wouldn’t pull these boys into their sexual escapades, after I broached the subject, because I wanted those boys to let us know when they are ready for such things, not be dragged into them. This left Ricky and Jay alone in the younger boys’ room, which didn’t bother them in the least. In fact, I’m certain they appreciate the privacy, for a change.
I let the boys sleep a little later than normal the next morning, before getting them up and ready for church. After our usual Sunday brunch, I took Brandon and Jay back to their homes, but obviously not for very long. Sunday evening Brandon and his father showed back up at our house and I suspected I knew why. I invited them in and Mr. O’Hara immediately apologized for the intrusion.
“Josh, I hate to bother you, but we have a family situation here,” Patrick started off. “Since Brandon tells me you might be able to help us with it, I suspect you know what I’m referring to.”
“I might at that,” I replied, “but you are family, as far as we’re concerned. Why don’t you come into the living room and have a seat, so we can talk comfortably, just the three of us.”
“That sounds fine,” he replied, so we went in and got settled.
“Josh, here’s the problem,” Mr. O’Hara started off. “My company is transferring me to Texas and we’ll be moving in June. Brandon has told me several times he doesn’t want to go and this afternoon he said you’d agreed to let him stay here, until he graduates, if it was all right with my wife and me. Is that correct?”
“Yes, it is,” I assured him, hoping I was helping the family by agreeing to this and not setting up a roadblock. “Brandon mentioned the move and his feelings about it yesterday. He asked me if he could stay with us and I told him he could, if you and your wife were agreeable to the idea. He’s been like a member of our family anyway, so there were no problems on our part.”
“My wife and I really don’t want to leave him here, but we know how strongly he feels about it,” he admitted. “Besides, I’ve not heard very many favorable reports on the Texas school systems either. Those in my company who have lived there at various times tell me the school districts spend ten times more money on high school sports than they do on academics. I’m not sure how accurate that is, but we were starting to worry about it.”
“I think I might too, if the situation were reversed,” I agreed.
“Yeah, but I don’t think I could handle your brood,” he joked, before getting back on topic. “I’m concerned most because the next two years will be critical for Brandon’s future. Many colleges base much of their admission policy on what happens academically in a student’s junior year. I’m also certain they weigh the various states differently too, depending on their national ranking in education. That’s why my wife and I feel it would probably be better for him to remain here, although it doesn’t mean we’re thrilled about him staying here without us. However, we also know he’d be in good hands.”
“Thank you for that compliment and I assure you that if he stays here, we’ll take good care of him,” I announced. “He will be treated just like all the others.”
“I know he will, since that’s the way he’s always been treated here,” Mr. O’Hara emphasized. “We’re not worried about that in the least. We’ll send you a monthly check to cover his expenses and we’ll provide everything else he needs.”
“Please, keep your money. I certainly don’t need it,” I informed him. “Put that monthly check into Brandon’s college fund and I’ll handle the rest. You can give him what you’d like, but I’ll take care of whatever he needs, without having to bother you about the petty stuff. The only thing I would ask is for you go down and sign guardianship papers at my attorney’s office. I can call him and have him draw them up. That way I can sign for any trips or other permission slips the school might request and I can authorize emergency medical treatment, if it’s needed. I don’t foresee anything like that happening, but I’d rather be prepared for the worst, just in case.”
“Of course, and that will not be a problem for us, either,” he conceded. “We will supply you with whatever legal papers you need. We really appreciate your willingness to do this for Brandon. We’ve always felt very fortunate that you treat him so well and include him in the activities with your children. Being our only son, he gets lonely sometimes, but he’s always so happy when he can spend time with your family, especially with Danny. I still feel indebted to him for what he did for Brandon.”
“That’s appreciated, but not necessary,” I told him. “Brandon’s part of our family and we’re proud to have him. Everything is set, as far as I’m concerned.”
“Thanks, Josh. That takes a big load off my mind,” he confessed, while shaking my hand.
“You’re welcome, but it’s our pleasure,” I replied. “Brandon, why don’t you go and find Danny and tell him the news. I’m sure he’s anxiously awaiting your report.” Brandon leapt from his seat and bounded from the room. I waited until he was gone, before I spoke to his father.
“I wanted to speak to you about the summer, without anyone else around. I’m planning on quite a lengthy summer vacation for the boys and I’d like to include Brandon in all or part of those plans. I don’t want to interfere with your time with him, so I wanted to work this out just between the two of us.”
I told Brandon’s father about our vacation plans and he quickly suggested a slight alternative, so Brandon could go with us and still be able to spend some time with them. I agreed with his suggestion and everything was set. A few minutes later, I called Brandon back to join us, as his father wanted to get back home. As they left, I thought about what I’d just done, by adding another temporary boarder to the ‘Castaway Hotel’.
My week started off smoothly, but that radically changed on Wednesday, when I received a call from my attorney. It seemed while trying to clear the path for my being able to adopt the boys he’d hit a little snag. Mr. Yamada’s parents, who still lived in Japan, wanted to see and talk to the boys, before they were willing to sign off on any claims to their rights as grandparents. He explained he’d been informed that they’d like to fly here and visit the following week, if I would agree to the idea. Seeing it was the only chance I had to convince them, I told my attorney to go ahead and set it up. I’d break the news to the boys later tonight.
I wasn’t sure how this was going to go over with them. From what they’d told me and from what I’d learned from Ann Getz about this case, the grandparents never even knew the boys existed, let alone met them. They had disowned their son when he left for the States and had no contact with him or his family since. It looks like they were suffering from the onset of delayed guilt or making a desperate attempt to reach out to the grandsons they didn’t even know they had. I’ve always had a strict rule about interfering with a family and its relationships, unless it had been proven they were incompetent or unfit, but I also wanted to make certain that whatever decision was reached was in the best interests of the boys. I will fight before giving them up, if I don’t see more than just blood ties between them.
That night, I took Sammy and Andrew aside. “Fellas, I have some news for you,” I began, and they both looked at me apprehensively. “Your grandparents are coming to see you.”
“But I thought they weren’t allowed,” Sammy replied, immediately.
“Oh, not your mother’s parents,” I correct. “These are your father’s parents.”
“I didn’t know they were even alive,” Sammy informed me.
“Daddy, they aren’t coming to take us away from you, are they?” Andrew asked. He looked very nervous and crawled onto my lap.
“They’ve just learned about you, when they were told about your father’s death,” I explained, “so they want to come and meet you.”
I then went on to explain what I knew about the relationship between their father and their grandparents, as a way of explaining why they had never met or heard about them. By the time I finished, I think both boys were excited about finally getting to meeting them, as long as they could still live with me. I told them nothing had come up about anything like that, and it hadn’t, although I did suspect something like that might happen, since their grandparents actually had the stronger legal claim. Even though I had my doubts about how this would turn out, I assured both boys they would definitely have a home with me, unless something beyond my control happened. This didn’t alleviate either boy’s fears, but I didn’t want to give them false hope either. That could damage their trust in me later, if things didn’t go the way we hoped. I’d rather help them deal with an uncertain future than try to regain their trust later, especially if they thought I had lied to them.
Their grandparents sent word to my lawyer that they would be arriving next Tuesday and staying until Friday. They would fly into Philadelphia, so we’d send a limo to pick them up, and then arrange for a room for them at our finest hotel. I wanted them to know I spared no expense in making sure their grandsons were cared for, even including a first-class visit from their grandparents. I was hoping that a favorable impression might bolster my case to be allowed to keep the boys.
By the time Friday evening rolled around, both Sammy and Andrew were a bundle of nerves. That night they insisted on sleeping in my room with me, as they didn’t want me out of their sight, for even a minute. Every time I turned around, I would trip over one, the other or both of them. Every time I sat down, they’d either climb onto my lap or squeeze so tightly against me that I was afraid to move, for fear of crushing them. Therefore, I did what I could to help assure them, without neglecting the others.
That Saturday was also the start of the high school wrestling tournaments, which would lead up to the state tournament. Both Cole and Dustin had managed to qualify for the early rounds, but Dustin was also ranked among the favorites for winning his age bracket at the state level. I was thinking Cole might be a little disappointed that he hadn’t received the same type of recognition, but he enthusiastically embraced his brother’s ranking and never complained about his lack of acknowledgement.
That morning, I got everyone up early and drove the entire family to York College, where the district tournament was being held. Neither Sammy not Andrew ever wandered very far away from me for any length of time, even when their brothers wanted to take them somewhere, such as to the concession stand or to check the place out. I think this caused all of the other boys to begin worrying about how the impending visit from their grandparents was affecting both boys.
Once the action started, however, everyone seemed to put those other concerns in the back of their minds, as they cheered for their brothers. Cole and Dustin won their first and second round matches, although Cole barely squeaked by his second opponent. Amazingly, both of them had now reached the semi-final rounds.
Cole went out in his next match and amazed all of us, when he quickly pinned the young man he was facing, but we were less surprised when Dustin did the same thing. To my great astonishment, both boys were now moving on to the finals.
During his last match, Cole put forth an amazing effort, but ended up losing on points. Although slightly disappointed in the outcome, he was pleased to come in runner-up in his weight class and still enthusiastically cheered his brother on, when it was Dustin’s turn to wrestle.
Dustin’s match took a long time to complete, as a couple of brief breaks where called when Dustin’s opponent was injured. First, they had to stop the match briefly when the boy’s nose started to bleed, after his face hit the mat hard when Dustin took him down. After cleaning up the blood splatter and stopping the bleeding, the match continued, but not for long. A short time later, another brief time out was taken, as the other boy injured his shoulder while in one of Dustin’s holds. The tournament officials had the doctor examine the young man and he was soon given the okay to continue, so the match resumed. In the end, Dustin won on a large point differential and would now move on to the state tournament. We were all quite proud of his accomplishment.
After our two athletes cleaned up, we took them out to celebrate, with a late dinner. Most of them were still in a raucous and upbeat mood by the time we reached home. However there were some exceptions, as Sammy and Andrew were still greatly concerned about their grandparents’ upcoming visit. Throughout the entire day, Sammy and Andrew hadn’t been quite as absorbed in the wrestling tournament as the others, since they were consumed by these other concerns. That’s why all of the other boys now did everything they could to keep the pair from worrying about what might happen. They played cards and board games with them until they went to bed, but they weren’t done yet.
Sunday, the others took Sammy and Andrew outside to play kickball again, and when they eventually came back inside, they played other games with them. They even talked me into taking all of them to a Sunday afternoon movie matinee. Even with all of this activity, the two boys clung to me like glue much of the time. At the movie, Sammy sat beside me and Andrew sat on my lap, as they each wanted to keep in physical contact with me. By the time Tuesday evening rolled around, they were just a bundle of raw nerves.
Tuesday after dinner, the limo pulled up in front of our house and the grandparents got out. I had also hired a Japanese interpreter from Philadelphia, who had ridden here with them, so he could assist them throughout their entire stay. Since I wasn’t sure how much English they spoke, I opted to play it safe. It turns out it was a good thing I had done that, since their grandfather only spoke very limited, yet broken English and the grandmother spoke none at all. Any conversation had to go entirely through the interpreter.
We started by introducing the boys to their grandparents. Their father must have taught them some things about their Japanese heritage, because both boys bowed respectfully to their grandparents, after they had been introduced. The grandparents looked pleased and bowed in return. I let the four of them talk amongst themselves, through the interpreter of course, and I merely monitored the conversation, so I would know what was happening. They visited with the boys for nearly two hours, speaking with them through the translator, before they returned to their hotel room. I hope the language barrier might be enough to convince them they would have a difficult time raising the two boys in Japan, since both boys only knew a handful of Japanese words and phrases.
The scene repeated itself throughout the day on Wednesday and Thursday, but I did ask them to join us as I took Sammy and Andrew out to lunch on Thursday. They agreed and we went to Chuck E. Cheese, where the boys happily played the various games and crawled through the tubing. Their grandparents refused to eat there, but watched in amazement as their grandsons darted from one place to the next. I thought it was important for the grandparents to see how energetic the boys were, before they made any decisions about possibly wanting to raise them.
We spent our final time with them on Friday morning, as they were leaving that afternoon. The limo was taking them back to Philadelphia, where they would catch their flight back home. Even when we bowed and said good–bye to them before they drove away, they never gave us any impression about what we might expect beyond that point.
The following Monday, however, my lawyer called again, this time to inform me the grandparents were asking that the boys be allowed to come and stay with them for a week, in Japan. My attorney figured I’d humor them and go along with this request, so he suggested the week of spring break, in April, so the boys’ schooling wouldn’t be interrupted. After outlining his reasons, the grandparents agreed to that schedule. Now, I would have to prepare the boys for this trip.
There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to accompany them on this journey. I would arrange for someone to stay with the other boys during my absence or I might even decide to take them all with me, I wasn’t sure about that part yet. However, the impression I was getting from this turn of events was not making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It looked as if the grandparents wanted to get them to see their homeland and possibly prepare them for relocating there. I didn’t think they would have gone this route, if they didn’t plan to file for custody of the boys. I didn’t tell the boys about my suspicions, but it was now also my biggest fear.
Two days later, I finally made my decision about how I was going to handle all of this. Robert was already planning to come home for that week, so I’d ask him to watch the boys for me while I was gone. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t mind, after realizing I trusted him enough to leave them alone for a limited amount of time. I had made this determination because I wasn’t sure I could handle watching over all of the boys in unfamiliar surroundings, especially with all of the drama that would be playing out at the same time.
Convinced this was the right thing to do, I called to make reservations for our flight. I also made accommodations at a local hotel, where we would stay while we were there. As long as I was dealing with my travel agent, I also decided to confirm our summer vacation plans at the same time. I still kept Sammy and Andrew in the headcount for this trip too, even though I was beginning to doubt they would still be with us when the time came.
This whole situation was getting very difficult for me, as I had grown very close to the duo in the short time we had been together. They were still young enough to want to cuddle and be affectionate, and would often curl up against me or crawl onto my lap when we were together and I eagerly anticipated having more of these little snuggle sessions with them. Losing them, especially since they would be such a great distance away from us, would be devastating for me. It would almost be as if they had died or been killed, because I’d probably never see them again. The chances of my having any further contact with them would be slim to none and I knew, beyond any doubt, that I’d miss them both greatly.
This suddenly made me wonder about something else. How do parents ever cope with the loss of a child? It would be enough to rip my heart out and I’ve only been with my boys, and these two in particular, for a much shorter time than if I’d raised them from birth. What do parents do when they’ve spent years with their child and then they’re suddenly dead and gone from their lives? Fortunately, I’ve never been confronted with that type of a situation and, hopefully, never will.
The next weekend we had to drive Dustin to the University of Pittsburgh, so he could compete in the state-wrestling tournament. He was excited, yet I could tell he was also nervous, although Cole kept telling him he was going to be the state champion in his weight class. I actually think this was adding pressure on him to do well, even though Cole didn’t mean to do that to his brother. He was just so proud of Dustin’s ability that he felt he couldn’t proclaim any less than the top spot for his brother.
Once we arrived at the facility, Dustin had to leave us to get weighed in and then stay with the other wrestlers. We walked about for a while, checking the place out and locating all of the facilities, such as toilets, concession stand and other points of interest, before taking our seats and preparing for the various matches. It would be a long day of watching many young men whom we didn’t know, but at this level, their abilities were more than sufficient to make up for not knowing them personally.
It all started with the lighter weight classes and progressed until it was Dustin’s time to wrestle, in the 152-pound weight classes. Dustin first opponent was from the Erie area, and Dustin pinned him in the second period. Dustin didn’t wrestle again for a couple of hours, but his next match pitted him against a boy from a Pittsburgh suburb. The match was fairly even, but ended with Dustin winning on points, 10 – 6.
It was fairly late in the evening when Dustin wrestled again and this was a really tough match for him. In fact, it was decided in overtime, with Dustin winning on points, 3 – 2. I think that match took a lot out of him, but gratefully if was his last contest of the day. Once his coach released him, he went with his brothers and I, as he was going to stay with us at the motel for the evening. Everyone was busily congratulating him on his matches, but Dustin played it down, saying there was more wrestling to be completed tomorrow. The boys took the hint and stopped pressing the issue.
Everyone turned in, after we grabbed some snacks, to tide us over. We hadn’t done much eating all day, just grabbing items from the concession area whenever we had a chance. I think everyone slept well that evening, after they cleaned up.
The next morning, after a modest breakfast, we returned to the arena. Dustin went back to the locker room, to weigh-in again and check when his next match would be. He wrestled about an hour later, against the top ranked wrestler from his weight bracket. It was a very hard fought contest, but unfortunately, Dustin lost, 4 –3. He would wrestle in the consolation match later, having missed reaching the finals by a whisker.
Dustin was very determined when he took the mat for his final match, and ended up beating his opponent, 10 – 3. That meant he finished third in the state, losing only to the eventual tourney winner from his weight-class. All in all, I think he was pleased with his performance and we were all very proud of his accomplishment. Cole didn’t let up, telling him he got robbed in that match he lost and he should have been the state champion. Dustin merely smiled and thanked Cole for continued faith in his abilities.
We didn’t arrive home until after dark that evening, after stopping to eat. All of us were exhausted, but I reminded the boys they needed to finish whatever homework they had left undone, since they would be returning to school tomorrow. After listening to a few groans of complaint, they did as I asked and we tried to unwind until bedtime.