The rest of March passed by without incident and April brought the hope of better days to come. I called the Yamadas and told them about Pat’s accident and explained we would be unable to visit over spring break, as we had planned. I told them I would be willing to send Sammy and Andrew over, if they wished, but they told me they didn’t want the boys flying such a great distance all alone. They suggested I should stay and take care of Pat for now, and we could make plans to get together again at another time. I thanked them for their understanding and suggested maybe we could work something out for over the summer, and they agreed that would be acceptable. I was very grateful they were as understanding as they were, since I had made them a promise to have the boys come visit every year over spring break, before they decided to let me adopt their grandsons. I was appreciative they let me keep the boys in the first place and, therefore, hated to break my promise to them.
I also decided it was time to make it up to Kevin and Frankie for not being able to take them out more often for their driving lessons. I planned to do this by cramming as much driving time as possible into the weekend. The other boys helped to make this possible by offering to help Pat with whatever he needed while we were gone, thus giving me the opportunity to spend the extra time with the other pair without feeling guilty. I thanked the other boys many times for all of their help, and Kevin and Frankie did the same.
Frankie had earlier said he would be willing to wait until things had settled down with Pat, before we continued with the driving lessons, but I told him we would find a way to work around this. I had thanked him for his offer and was quite impressed with Frankie’s attitude toward the whole situation. It’s sometimes hard for me to realize this same young man had done many horrible things the first time he was with us, but he has more than proved he isn’t that person any longer.
When we finally got out on the road, I was impressed with Frankie’s ability behind the wheel. That’s when he informed me that he had done a little illegal driving when he was younger, when he took other people’s cars out for joy rides when they weren’t around. He never got caught, so he didn’t have a record of any driving incidents that might hinder his getting his license as planned. He also told me he realized now that what he had done was foolish and could have resulted in damage to the vehicles or personal injury to his friends or him, but at the time the chance of those things happening didn’t seem probable. He said Pat’s accident had made him reconsider those decisions now and he realized how lucky he had been that nothing bad had happened to him during those foolhardy outings. Without my asking, he also promised he would never do anything like that again and would stop anyone else who was inclined to try such crazy stunts.
Kevin’s ability behind the wheel wasn’t quite up to par with his fellow student, but he was working hard to improve his skills. Frankie was gracious enough to allow Kevin more time to practice his driving and parking skills and was also willing to give him suggestions when he did something wrong. I think, at first, Kevin was insulted that Frankie was trying to tell him how to drive, but after he saw how well Frankie did during his own turns, he seemed to change his mind and began to feel honored that Frankie would try to help him too. During our classes, Frankie and Kevin seemed to grow much closer as brothers and even started to hang around each other more at other times too. This included asking the other to join in when they were doing things with their friends from school and it was very nice to see this happening.
The arrival of April also meant Easter was not far off. That meant we would soon be having a houseful of company again, to celebrate the religious holiday. Almost everyone who had been there for Christmas was planning to return for the Easter weekend, except for our Japanese grandparents. This meant we were quite busy planning for this get-together, in addition to doing a great deal of housekeeping and going to school. Everything was proceeding without incident and we were now entering the final week of classes before Easter Sunday.
Pat was working hard and managing to keep up with his studies and each of his tutors was very impressed with his progress. As we suspected, math was giving him the greatest difficulty, but he was still able to grasp the concepts, even if we hadn’t figured out how to get him to be able to ‘see’ the actual problems he was working on.
As the end of the week approached, our visitors began to arrive. They had all been told about Pat’s accident, but we did have to fill them in about what had been happening since that time. They all were very good about talking to him about his situation and offering to do whatever they could for him. They even offered to stay in for dinner Saturday evening, instead of going out to a restaurant like we usually would, but Pat wouldn’t hear of it. Proudly, he explained he now felt much more confident about going out in public and had few problems eating his meals (as long as I still assisted him when necessary), so he felt it was time to try something new, like eating out. In order to make sure he wasn’t just saying this so he didn’t ruin the holiday for everyone else, I took him aside and we discussed this in greater details in private. However, he removed my doubts and convinced me he actually wanted to do this and felt ready to try. As long as he felt so confident, I called and made the reservation. This was definitely a good sign, as far as Pat’s rehabilitation was concerned.
It turned out to be a very interesting evening. Like I mentioned earlier, everyone was there except for the Yamadas, including my older children and grandchildren. Jordan and Nicky had taken a special interest in Pat, after they learned about his accident, and wanted to sit beside him at the table. They asked me first if they could, and I told them that would be fine, as long as their parents agreed to it. I watched them as they went to ask their mother and father if they could sit next to Pat to eat, and they were very animated in their appeal. After a brief discussion, and their parents looking in my direction for my nod of approval, it was agreed this would be fine. Excitedly, the two little ones raced back and took their place in the two seats on either side of Pat. Now that had been settled, everyone else shifted his or her seat accordingly.
I sat beside Nicky, just one seat further away from Pat, but still close enough to assist him if he needed my help. I cut up his food and explained where everything was for him, and then left him on his own. He did very well and everyone was quite impressed by his effort. Both of the little ones watched Pat during the whole meal, first observing me cut up his food and then listening to me tell him what was on his plate and where it was situated, but I think they were most intrigued as they watched Pat locate everything for himself and carefully lift it to his mouth.
My grandsons proved to be a little impatient at times and tried to take over and help Pat out. Sometimes this meant they might attempt to help Pat get something on his fork or they would hand him his drink before he could locate it himself. I could tell Pat was pleased they wanted to help him, but I could also tell he was becoming mildly frustrated that he wasn’t being allowed to prove himself in public. Therefore, I gently had to explain to the little ones that Pat preferred to do these things for himself. I emphasized it was nice that they were willing to help him, but he’d be better off in the long run if he was able to do this on his own.
Pat tried to soften my admonition a bit, by thanking them for their concern, since he felt they were only doing what they thought best. In order to humor his nephews from that point on, Pat let them do other things for him, that didn’t involve eating. He could tell how much they cared for him and didn’t want to stifle their desire to help others, so he came up with alternatives they could help him with. Most of these involved situations that he might have called upon me to assist him with instead, such as when he needed to use the restroom, but the boys were satisfied they could finally help. He willingly let Jordan and Nicky guide him to the men’s room and lead him to the urinal, although he did the rest for himself, but then he also let them guide him to the sink, explain where the soap dispenser and towels were located, so he could wash up afterward.
I guess in the long run he was more correct than I, by finding things they could do for him, while avoiding the situations that Pat wanted to complete by himself. Later that evening, as we made our way home, I told him I agreed it was better to allow them to show their compassion and be helpful, while still allowing him to assert his independence. I told him he was growing wiser than I, but he claimed he was just doing what I’d taught him.
Although we had the dining room pretty much to ourselves this evening, there were still a few other couples that shared the room with us at various times. They would occasionally glance in Pat’s direction, noticing his condition, but then nod and smile at his accomplishments. I also noticed their reactions when they saw his two nephews helping to lead him to the men’s room. Even our waitress complimented all of them on how well they had done and Pat just took it in stride. My grandsons, however, ate up the attention they got for being good Samaritans and I was convinced this would only encourage them to do more of this type of service for others in the future. It was nice to see them get so much positive reinforcement for their good deeds, while learning there are times they need to let others exert their independence.
After dinner, Aunt Sally announced she had made some special arrangements for us during the following week, which would be our spring break from school. She explained she had scheduled us to visit a school for the blind and a school for the deaf during that week, to pursue our wish to help children with physical handicaps. Pat thanked her for all of us, since this was basically his special project, and he was looking forward to the visits and meeting other children with handicaps as well. I did speak to Pat about this in more detail later, as we were preparing for bed, and he indicated he was really looking forward to talking to the other kids and finding out how they coped with their handicap. He then went on to add that he thought this might make it easier for him to handle his own situation, seeing it looked as though his condition wasn’t going to improve. Hearing this, I told him not to give up hope, but I was pleased he was adopting a realistic approach, just in case things didn’t work out exactly as we wished.
The evening ended with us winding down at home and Pat slept with me on the sofa bed in the living room, since I gave the Spences my room, as we normally did. The Spences had objected to this arrangement, since they felt bad about the change making it more difficult for Pat, but he assured them he’d be fine. Eventually, they gave in and we all settled in for some rest.
Sunday morning, after breakfast, everyone got dressed to the nines and we all went to church. We entered the edifice, en masse, and I think we filled up three or four pews once we were settled. Pat sat next to me and leaned against my side the entire time. It was a typical Easter service, with the minister talking about the resurrection of Christ and the hope it brought to those who believed in him. He also mentioned this should not only give us hope about what would happen to us after death, but it should also give us peace in knowing he was there to guide and assist us while we lived too. The hope of the resurrection was not only the promise of eternal life, but it was also proof that Jesus was the Son of God and could do all of the things he had promised when he walked the earth.
After the service, we stopped to talk with the pastor on the way out and Pat told him he was still looking for his open window, but admitted he may have also been used by God to open a window for those in similar situations. We explained briefly about our plans for the Foundation, our upcoming visits to the schools of the blind and deaf and then informed him about some of the things Pat hoped to accomplish through the charity. The minister placed his hand on Pat’s shoulder, congratulated him on being an instrument of change and hope, and reassured him that someone else would be there to open a window for him, the same way he was doing for others. We thanked him for his encouragement and then drove home to enjoy our Easter meal.
It took a while to finish preparing everything, but the ladies wouldn’t let us do everything on our own for this meal, as we had planned. They took over and helped with much of the meal, while telling us we had already done more than our share and had our hands full as it was. By the time we sat down together, all of us enjoyed a wonderful dinner of ham, sweet and mashed potatoes, several different vegetables, salad and some homemade pies. I do believe everyone enjoyed the dinner, as well as the family interaction we had all come to look forward to.
As the meal was coming to an end, the Spences announced they had decided to buy a small home in the area, so they could be close to us from April and until the end of Christmas holiday season. After New Year’s, they would return to their Arizona home and spend the cold months of January, February and March in the milder climate there. They said this way they could see us all more often, not uproot me out of my bedroom all of the time and take a more active role with the charity. They would only seek the refuge of the warm Arizona sun when we were in the worst winter months, since their bodies found the bitter cold more unbearable now, than when they were younger. I think everyone was excited about this news and the boys were thrilled John and Margaret would be nearby for most of the year.
After the Spences made their announcement, my son and daughter-in-law told us they also had exciting news they wished to share. Eagerly, they informed us Andrea had just discovered she was slightly more than three months pregnant, possibly because of their exuberant New Year’s Eve celebration with us, and would be giving birth in late September or early October. They both seemed thrilled, and Jordan was excited he was going to have a brother or sister. The rest of us were pleased by the news too, since there would always be room for one more.
After dinner, we spent some quality time with those we don’t get to see very often by discussing a wide variety of topics or playing cards and other games together. All in all, it was a very relaxing afternoon.
During this time, the two little ones never left Pat’s side and were almost acting as if some unseen force was holding them close to him. I could tell Pat was deeply touched by their attentiveness and did everything he could to make them feel useful and appreciated. During their time with him, Nicky and Jordan would watch Pat closely, studying his every move, so they would be prepared when he needed their help. However, they also learned from our discussion earlier and didn’t always try to jump in and do things for him. Sometimes, they actively encouraged him to try some things on his own, since they realized they would be going back to their own homes soon and would no longer be there to assist him. Although they would guide him to the bathroom, they never stayed in there with him and constantly told him he could do everything by himself. When he finished his business, they would lead him to wherever he wanted to go next, using the same procedure I used with Pat, whenever he was with me. I think Pat and I would both be sad when they finally had to leave.
When it started getting late, their parents informed them it was time to go, so they both went over to say a special good-bye to Pat before they left. They each told him they hoped he got better real soon and then gave him hugs and kisses before their parents insisted they hurry things along. As Jordan and Nicky were going out the door, I thanked them both for taking such good care of their uncle and informed them I expected to see them back to visit for a few weeks this summer.
Although I hadn’t really announced it, I suspected some of the others already guessed I already had or would be canceling our other vacation plans. Therefore, when I had Nicky and Jordan’s parents alone, I cleared it with them for their sons to spend some time at our place during the summer months instead. I did this because I figured Pat would most likely be required to undergo various medical procedures during this time frame or recuperating after they had been performed. That’s why I thought it would be a perfect time to have the boys come and spend some time with us. Besides, I felt they’d want to be able to help their Uncle Pat while he was undergoing these procedures. The rest of their uncles agreed with this plan too and even suggested we could forgo any major trips this summer and possibly just take a few long weekend jaunts instead, whenever Pat felt up to it. I thanked all of them for their understanding, especially for Pat’s sake.
Some of our visitors ending up leaving on Sunday afternoon, while some of the others stayed until Monday. The latter group had taken an extra day off from work, so they could enjoy the holiday with the family and not have to worry about hurrying back to their jobs. I think the others regretted not having done this themselves, as they loaded up their vehicles and drove off.
After things quieted down again, the Spences asked me to recommend a good realtor to them and wondered if I’d be willing to also help them pick out a small ranch home. I immediately told them I’d be happy to do both, which pleased them immensely. Then we discussed what was happening as far as the children at the group home were concerned and they seemed pleased by what I told them. I explained that Sally had found potential parents for several of the youngsters already and the adults and children were spending time getting to know each other, before they made any definite decisions.
I then went on to mention one little boy we had already met, little Richard, and explained the family considering adopting him was a farm family that lived quite a ways out. Due to this, Sally had asked us if it might be possible to have Richard spend a weekend or two with us, so the farm family could meet him part way. It seemed we were located approximately halfway between the group home and their farm, and since this was a busy time of year for them, it would create a greater hardship to have them drive the extra distance. Not only that, but these visits would happen over the course of several weeks, so this way they could actually spend more of their time together, getting to know each other better. Sally had also suggested, as long as it was agreeable with me, she would pick Richard up on a Friday after work and drop him off here. Then she would take him back the following Monday and drop him off at his school. I told her that would be fine, so we finalized the arrangements for them to visit with each other for the next several weekends.
Later that evening, as everyone began to grow weary and head to bed, Pat told me he was ready to turn in as well. I took him back the living room, but he asked if he could take a bath before he went to sleep. I said that would be fine, so I led him to the bathroom, prepared his bath and got him situated in the tub. When I told him I’d be right back, he asked me to stay, saying he had something to talk with me about. I told him that would be fine and then sat on the edge of the tub, just above him.
“Dad, I think I told you before that my parents weren’t very religious and I never really went to church until I came here,” he began, “but I do believe and trust in God now. I mean, he did open one window for me already, when he sent me here to live with you.”
“I thought that was MY window being opened,” I countered, “since getting you boys brought purpose back to my life. You see, I was the one who prayed God would give me someone to care for again and now my cup runneth over.” Pat chuckled at my little joke.
“Will you pray with me tonight,” Pat suddenly asked. “I mean we can even kneel down on the floor and all. It’s because I want to let God know that I’m going to trust him to help me.”
“I’d be honored to do that with you,” I responded, overjoyed. “I don’t know if you are aware of this or not, but I did something very similar to that with Ricky and Danny, when they first came to live with me. Unfortunately, I guess we kind of got out of the habit after more and more of you arrived. I suppose it’s one of my biggest regrets – that I didn’t follow through with the rest of you that way.”
“That’s okay, Dad. You’ve done other good things for us, so I don’t think God will hold that against you,” he responded, trying to comfort me. I chuckled to myself and thanked him for his reassurance on that matter, and then he told me he was finished and ready to get out.
I helped him out of the tub, gave him a towel to dry off with, emptied the bathwater and rinsed the tub. After he had patted off all of the excess water, we headed back to the living room. He sat on the sofa bed and waited for me, while I went to check on the others. They were all getting cleaned up or quietly doing things on their own, so I went back to spend time with Pat. When he heard me enter the room, he got down on his knees beside the sofa bed and waited for me to join him. When I did, he began his prayer.
“God, I know you haven’t heard much from me before and I’m really sorry about that now,” he began. “I guess until you led me here to live with Dad, I never really had any reason TO believe in you. My parents didn’t believe in you and I never went to church, so it wasn’t until I started going to church with Dad that I realized you were real. I’m not going to ask you to help me, although I wouldn’t mind it if you did, but I’m going to ask you to help me to open a window for some of these other kids who are having to cope with physical disabilities. If you can help us find a way to help them, then I won’t ask you for anything else, except to look out for my brothers and my dad and to take good care of them. Amen.”
Pat started to get up and I placed my hand on his shoulder and held him where he was. “Pat, I thought you were going to ask him to help you recognize the window he was going to open for you?”
“Yeah, I was,” he admitted, “but then I thought that would be real selfish. I mean, I never prayed or talked to him before, so I thought it would be best to ask him to help me help others instead. Maybe someone else will ask for the same thing and that’s when he’ll help me.”
“Well, I guess that is one way to look at it,” I agreed. “I have always believed that God hears your prayers to help others better than when people whine for things for themselves.”
“Yeah, I wanted to ask him to help me, but I just didn’t think I had any right to,” he confessed. “After all, I haven’t believed in him for very long.”
“Well, then I’ll pray that he helps you, because I don’t know of anyone more deserving of it,” I told him, which made him lean against me for a second. “Maybe he’ll answer your prayer when we go to visit the schools this week. Remember, we go to the School for the Deaf on Tuesday and to the School for the Blind on Thursday.”
“Thanks, Dad, and I remember,” he confirmed. “You know, you’re the reason I believe in God in the first place.”
“Why, because I made you go to church when you first got here?” I asked him.
“Well, not just that,” he replied. “I think only God could have found a great guy like you who was willing to be my dad,” he added, bringing a tear to my eyes and putting a lump in my throat.
I wanted to say something to him at that point, but I was too choked up to get the words to come out of my mouth. So instead, I merely hugged him and kissed him on the forehead. Before I knew it, he had both arms wrapped around me and his head pressed against my chest. Of course, I wrapped my arms around him as well. We stayed like that for a minute or so, and then I helped him get into bed. As I crawled in beside him under the covers, he moved over closer to me, and cuddled tightly against me. That’s the way he stayed until morning.