To say that seeing Robert at the door on Christmas Eve, then hearing him call him son, let alone the huge hug surprised him; would be the greatest understatement of the century, and possibly the millennium. Jeff returned the hug automatically without much feeling or emotion and with a rather curious look on his face. He started to ask Robert a question;
"Robert, what in...?"
"Jeff, I have been a stupid old fool. I am here to apologize to you, and welcome you to our family, just like the others already have. Please accept my humble apology and let me try and repair some of the damage I have caused to our family." Robert then kissed his son-in-law on the forehead and was then totally stunned when Jeff's eyes rolled up in his head and he fainted.
"Darryl, Help!!!!!!!!!!! I need help; Jeff fainted!" Robert shouted for his son, which also brought his wife and other two children running from the car.
"Father, what the ...?" Darryl shouted at his father as he was being bowled over by his younger siblings.
"Darryl, Darryl we are here, are you surprised? Why is Uncle Jeff lying in Daddy's arms on the floor? Daddy, why are you crying?" Amy and Tommy asked their brother and dad at the same time.
Before anyone could respond, Jeff began to wake up and speak;
"Darryl, he wished me 'Merry Christmas, SON!' and then he kissed me! I think someone kidnapped your real father."
"Mom, what do you know about this, and why are you here?" Darryl asked his mom.
Carol just smiled at her son and replied, "You will have to ask your Dad, I don't know anything. He came home from the Company Christmas Party all smiling and ordered us to pack the car with 'ALL' of the Christmas presents. And here we are."
Darryl did not have any idea what was going on; why was his husband lying in his father's lap unconscious one moment, and then laughing the next? However, it did look as if his Christmas wish was going to be granted, he would finally be able to celebrate Christmas with his whole family.
"Okay Dad, will you unhand my husband and then stand up and explain to me what you are doing here, not that I don't want to see you. But honestly, you are the last person I expected to see on Christmas Eve." Darryl addressed his father in a very non-committal tone of voice.
"Darryl, I will explain everything after we get the car unloaded and the kids settled, but first let me just say that I have been a fool, sadly, an old fool and I am here to apologize. But first, let's get all of the presents and our clothes out of the car. And before you ask, yes we plan on spending a few days here, and yes, I know all about the gifts Carol and the kids have been giving you and Jeff in our name for the last couple of years."
Darryl, not knowing what else to do, followed his dad out to the SUV while the rest of the family took Jeff into the Family Room to give him some TLC and to find out what happened. As Father and Son began unloading the SUV, Robert began to apologize to his son for being such a pigheaded old fool for the last several years.
"Son, I know I can't do anything about all the love I have deprived you and Jeff of, let alone your mom and brother and sister, but I plan on making sure that you and Jeff aren't deprived from now on. I do have a great big favour to ask, and although it is partially for me, it is more for Amy and Tommy. However, I think that favour should wait until we are all together." Robert had to stop because his fourteen year old son Tommy came running out of the house.
"Thank you Dad, this is going to be the best Christmas ever. Darryl, did you hear that, Dad called Jeff Son? And he hugged and kissed him?" Tommy paused for just a minute and then abruptly switched from exuberant teenager to young adult.
"Dad, I love you; I really do, but before we go any farther you need to tell me exactly what is going on! This had better not be a trick or some sick and twisted joke, because if it is, Amy and I are staying here and never going home!" Tommy had placed himself between his Dad and older brother and stood perfectly still with his feet spread and hands on hips and a no nonsense look on his face.
"Tommy, let's just say an old fool isn't going to be an old fool any more. I was in the process of apologizing to your brother before you came out. I will explain things more in the cozy warmth of Darryl and Jeff's Family Room. Now, give us a hand and lets get the SUV unloaded so I can finish my grovelling..." Robert never got the rest of his words out, because Tommy had launched himself at his dad like a rocket and had enveloped him in a big bear hug.
"Thank you Daddy, now lets get the car unloaded." Tommy told his stunned dad and then started grabbing things from the SUV and handing them out. As his dad and brother started towards the house shaking their heads and laughing at their fourteen year old drill sergeant.
Robert and Darryl passed Jeff on their way in and didn't even get a word out before Tommy spoke up again.
"Jeff, get your butt over here daylight's burning and we don't have time for idle chitchat."
Robert and Darryl just raised their eyebrows and kept on walking towards the house.
When Jeff got to the car, Tommy began speaking rapidly;
"I don't know what is going on or why we are here, but we brought enough clothes for a weekend and Dad is smiling. I don't want him to have an excuse to leave because our stuff is still in the car; so hurry up and help me so we can go back inside and find out what in the world is happening."
"Aye. Aye Sir; right away SIR!" Replied Jeff a bit cockily and then quickly ducked the pillow Tommy had chucked at him.
The two young men made quick work of the items remaining in the SUV and met Amy on their way in as she was on her way to supposedly help.
"Thanks for nothing, Amy, Jeff and I got it all." Was Tommy's smart alecy taunt to his sister as he and Jeff carried the last of the items into the house.
Amy closed the door that the two lunkheads had left open, as if they were trying to heat the outside. Amy then followed her two brothers into the house. Jeff and Tommy took the suitcases and backpacks they were carrying to the appropriate guest rooms.
By the time everyone had gotten settled in their rooms and had migrated back to the cozy family room, with its warm and cheery fire the tension level had begun to rise again. The only person who had any idea of what was going on, of course, was Robert and he was keeping things close to his chest so far. Everyone had made themselves as comfortable as possible in the family room, except for Robert, since no one gave him a seat. His kids had spread themselves out as much as possible, his wife Carol pulled up a pillow next to her and Jeff and Darryl sat in the remaining chairs leaving Robert standing by himself in the centre of the room.
"Okay Dad, start speaking. What is going on? You got us all here. We are all together and you have never let us be together before." Tommy started the ball rolling in his usual outspoken manner.
Robert stood there for a second before he broke out laughing, "Out of the mouths of babes; well, this isn't the first time tonight I have been told off."
Robert's reply was not what anyone had expected and he was able to continue speaking before anyone could respond.
"Well, let me start off by saying that I have been a complete and total fool and an idiot for the last several years. I brought the three of you here tonight so you could have the Christmas you deserve. I was hoping that I could apologize to my two oldest sons and we could stay for a few days and work on being a true family again. That is, of course, if Jeff and Darryl will accept my apology and let us stay here."
"Yes!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Tommy, as he pumped his fist in the air. He then attempted to run and hug his dad, but a stunned Darryl and Jeff had beaten him to the man they could now really call Dad.
"Thank you, Dad; this will now be the HAPPIEST Christmas ever..." Darryl was interrupted by his husband.
"Of course you can stay here; nothing would make us happier than to have the whole family here for Christmas. We may have to do some grocery shopping, but..." Now it was Jeff's turn to be interrupted.
"That won't be a problem, I grabbed a few things just before we left the house." Carol replied to the trio in the centre of the Family Room.
"Ahh, I also have a confession to make; I packed the rest of the food you had hidden dear, and I also grabbed a ham and turkey from the freezer. I wonder where those are?" Robert then surprised everyone.
Amy then spoke up; "I figured Mom had snuck them in, so I put them away in the kitchen; any more questions?" Amy was definitely related to Tommy and it was very surprising that their warped sense of humour hadn't gotten them in more trouble at school.
"Okay, we need a group hug and then some Eggnog to celebrate this wonderful holiday! Do you and Darryl have enough Eggnog for us, Jeff?" Robert suggested to everyone's surprise and asked Jeff.
"We have a quart or two of some local dairy brand." Jeff responded hesitantly as he knew Darryl's family loved Eggnog.
"Well, that just won't do. Jeff will you go with me to that grocery store I saw on the way over here and we can pick up the fixings? That will give us a chance to get to know each other a little better other than as business associates? If that is alright with you and Darryl?" Robert asked his two oldest sons.
"I would love to go with you, Robert..." Jeff started to respond, but was interrupted by Robert.
"Jeff, I would be honoured if you would call me Dad, or Pop when you are comfortable," Robert told Jeff to everyone but Tommy's surprise; who knew that once his dad admitted that he had made a mistake, he did everything he could to fix the problem.
"Robert, I hope you understand, that will take awhile, but I am sure it won't take too long before I am calling you Pop or Dad." A now very happy but slightly apprehensive Jeff replied. 'I do hope I am doing the right thing by going to the store with Robert, but he did seem very sincere. Well, I can always walk home if things don't work out, the exercise would do me good.' Jeff thought while he went to grab his jacket after giving Darryl a hug and a kiss.
Once they got into the SUV and before starting it, Robert turned to Jeff saying;
"I really am sorry I have been such an ass the last couple of years and I really do want to get to know the person who has obviously stolen my son's heart. You don't have to tell me that you weren't the one to split the family up, I know that was Darryl and my fault. Darryl has the same stubborn streak that I do, and I am sure that you have noticed Tommy has a bit of it too. So until we can be father and son, can we at least be friends?" Robert then stuck his hand out for a shake.
Instead of shaking Robert's hand Jeff grabbed it and pulled him into a hug saying;
"Friends, yeah, I'd like that."
Robert held the hug for a few minutes until a movement from the living room window got his attention.
"Thanks Jeff, I really appreciated that; now I need to make a quick phone call." Robert then started the car and spoke to the phone.
"Call Tommy." The phone began dialing and Jeff could hear it ringing but could not figure out why Robert needed to call Tommy.
"Hello Dad, how can I help you?" Tommy's voice came through the phone with a smirk to it.
"You can quit spying on Jeff and me! I like him, as to you, well... Jeff you have my permission to tan his backside if he ever mouths off, like the words that came out of his mouth when you hugged me. Bye Tommy. Phone Off." Robert sat there laughing like crazy because Tommy was standing at the living room window with his jaw on the floor.
Jeff turned to see what Robert was laughing at and mouthed to Tommy;
"I told you so!!!"
Robert then put the car in gear and headed out the driveway towards the store. While keeping his eye on the road, Robert turned serious for a moment and said to Jeff,
"Jeff, I don't need to know what you and Darryl wear to sleep, but knowing Darryl and Tommy, you probably sleep as you were born and God created you. I need to get this out, so please don't interrupt me. I know Tommy is probably crawling in and sleeping with you when he sleeps here, and I know that he is perfectly safe with both of you. Before you ask, the reason I know he is sleeping with you is that whenever he had bad dreams or was really insecure he would always crawl into bed with Carol and me. This went on until Darryl started acting like a real big brother and from then on, Tommy would crawl in with Darryl. I didn't like the idea at first but Carol and Tommy's counselor convinced me it was either Darryl's bed or our bed. Well, since I don't like sharing... Why am I bringing this up, you ask, well, I have noticed that Tommy is having some trouble dealing with something, and I don't know what it is, however, even though he wasn't speaking to me because of the way I treated you and Darryl, he knew I still loved him. He has been overly affectionate in a needy sort of way lately, he keeps getting hugs from me and sitting real close when we watch TV and if Carol and I are hugging or sitting together on the coach, he squeezes in between us to share. What I am really trying to say is, please don't kick him out of your bed just because I am here, if he needs the security that you and Darryl can give him, please give it to him. All I want is for him to have the love and security he needs, to deal with whatever is bothering him. Are you okay with this? By the way, you need to close your mouth; I don't need to see your pearly whites."
"You know Robert, you could have given me a day or two to adjust to this new you, before you dumped the weight of the world on my shoulders." Jeff replied, while still trying to figure out how to answer Robert.
"Sorry if I dumped on you Jeff, but I wanted you to know where I stood and I needed to get that out of the way without bothering Carol or Amy. So now if you will just tell me more about yourself so we can get to know each other better." Robert replied to Jeff, to ease the tension.
The rest of the trip was spent with Jeff bringing Robert up to date on his life and what had happened with him and Darryl. As Jeff was getting Robert caught up, Robert was realizing more and more what an unabashed idiot and fool he had been. They arrived at the grocery store a few minutes later and just before they entered the store, Robert pulled Jeff into a warm and loving hug and then kissed Jeff on the lips and whispered, "Please forgive me; you are really what Darryl deserves, Son."
Before Jeff could respond, Robert had gone inside the store, leaving Jeff with nothing to do but follow. Once inside, Jeff tracked down Robert who was in the dairy aisle and then he said;
"Robert, your continuing to call me Son is really making this a wonderful Christmas for me and Darryl. I am so glad you came and brought your family for Christmas, I know Darryl is over the moon." Jeff told his new dad.
While they were talking, Robert was loading their cart to the top with what seemed to be every dairy product under the sun.
"Uhhh Robert, I thought we came here to get the makings for Eggnog, not to clean out the dairy aisle?" Jeff inquired of his Father-in-Law.
"Well son, I am going to teach you how to make REAL Eggnog and I am also picking up the ingredients for real Tom and Jerry's, for after the kids have gone to bed."
"Real Eggnog?" Jeff asked.
"Yes, real Eggnog, not that slimy stuff that is passed off as Eggnog. I promise you that once you have had the real thing, you will never go back to that store bought stuff. This recipe is so rich and yummy you won't believe it. And then, some of the extra heavy whipping cream is to make real whipped cream for the Eggnog and the Tom and Jerry's." Robert began explaining the differences to Jeff.
"Robert, why are you going out of your way to do this?" Jeff asked Robert.
"Jeff, I am not going out of my way in the least; this is how we celebrate Christmas as a family, and you and Darryl have been deprived of it long enough, too long actually, and we are going to celebrate as a FAMILY from now on, got it?" Robert answered Jeff's question with one of his own.
They quickly finished their shopping, each of them adding a few special items to the cart. Whenever Jeff started to question something, Robert just replied "Amy" or "Tommy" when they reached the checkout counter Robert whipped out his credit card to pay for everything.
When Jeff started to say something Robert cut him off;
"Son, think about it this way, you have four uninvited guests and we are going to pay our way, understood?"
Seeing the confused look on the cute guy at the check stand and reading his lips, 'Father', Robert then read the clerks name tag;
"Hammer, I would like you to meet my son, Jeff." Robert then signed the receipt and grabbed Jeff's elbow and headed towards the car.
Jeff was laughing uncontrollably as they neared the door;
"Robert, that was absolutely cruel; I have been shopping at the store for years and Hammer has met my father, now he is totally confused. At least you didn't kiss me in front of him." Jeff paused a moment.
"Okay, we can go back in and I will do that, if that is what you want?" A smirking Robert questioned.
As the two men began loading the groceries into the back of the SUV, some noises distracted them. Robert turned towards the distraction and was stunned at what he saw; there was an obviously overweight cop beating the tar out of a defenceless teen with his night stick, while swearing up a storm and calling him 'cocksucker', 'thieving faggot' and worse. Robert threw his bag into his SUV and then ran over to help the teen.
When Robert arrived, he quickly grabbed the cop's night stick, just as it was about to descend and hit the teen again. Robert saw a fairly well dressed clean cut teen with abrasions and bruising from the night stick and what looked like older bruises also.
"Whaaaaatttt??" came flying out of the mouth of the cop as he found he couldn't swing his night stick. "Who the F&^k do you think you are, stopping me?" The cop, who looked like the typical Hillbilly Redneck of all those Fifties B Movies, asked Robert indignantly.
Ignoring the cop's question completely, Robert started asking the teen a few questions, while keeping his tight hold of the night stick.
"Son, can you please tell me your name and what you are doing out here in this cold, dressed like you are?"
Before the kid could answer Robert, the terribly obnoxious cop tried to wrest his night stick back from Robert, and started blubbering something that sounded like;
"I am the law here, and I will ask the questions here..."
By this time, Robert had had enough of this barbaric oaf who clearly thought he was a law unto himself. Using his other hand, Robert quickly twisted the night stick away from him completely, while applying pressure to the cop's shoulder, and before the befuddled buffoon of a policeman knew what had happened, he found himself face down, flat on the ground, with Robert's knee pressing hard in his back. Robert was pleased to note to himself that his old Marine training hadn't deserted him when he needed it.
"You keep your mouth shut, Copper, and don't say anything until I ask you!" Robert enforced his wishes by applying a little more pressure to the arm he was also twisting.
The cop's response was an unintelligible grunt.
"Son, don't worry about this sorry excuse for a cop; he violated over half a dozen City and State laws when he assaulted you the way he did, and a few Federal ones to boot," Robert calmly told the now cowering teen.
"Jeff, can you grab my cellphone and come over here? I need to make a few calls." Robert shouted back to Jeff.
As Jeff was complying with Robert's request, Robert turned back to the teen who was now staring at him with a very concerned look in his eyes.
"Son, before I can help you, I need to know your name, and the reason why you are out here?"
Robert had to strain to hear the teen's response;
"My name is Andreu, Sir, and I was just trying to get some food."
"Well Andreu, I have just one more question and then we can work on getting you some food. Can you tell me why you were trying to get food out of the dumpster?" Robert asked in a very calm and caring tone.
Robert's question provoked an unexpected response.
"My father found out I am gay and threw me out of the house! Satisfied now?" Andreu angrily threw at Robert.
"Jeff, get over here, NOW! I need you immediately," Robert shouted at Jeff who was walking casually over to where Robert was still kneeling on the cop.
'I hope Robert knows what the hell he is doing?' Jeff was thinking, as he slowly made his way over to the corner of the parking lot.
When Jeff finally got there, he was stunned to see a bruised and battered teen half leaning half sitting against a dumpster. He stood there not knowing what to do.
"Jeff, hand me my phone please; I need to make a few calls and get this scum bag that I am holding down taken care of. This is Andreu, and I need you to find out how old he is and then I need you to tell him about you, Darryl and our family, while I make some of those phone calls I mentioned."
"I am fifteen and my birthday is tomorrow." was the teary response from Andreu; hearing that, Jeff threw all of his misgivings out the window and after handing Robert his cellphone he went to Andreu's aid, unconsciously kicking the cop as he went by.
"Andreu, I am not sure exactly what is going on, but that gentleman over there is Robert and he is my Father-in-Law."
Jeff then began telling Andreu everything that had happened up until the point where they were loading the groceries into the SUV; while at the same time, keeping an ear on Robert's conversations and an eye on the cop who was still struggling and mouthing imprecations occasionally. Each time that happened, Robert would just grind his knee a little bit, and the cop would go still again. Before Jeff had realized what had happened, Andreu was lying in his lap sobbing; Jeff reached out and carefully pulled the boy closer while whispering soothing things into Andreu's ear.
"Andreu, while Robert is getting help, can you please tell me a little more about what has happened to you, because the more info we have, the easier it will be for us to help you." Jeff asked Andreu, never realizing what he had just committed himself to.
Meanwhile, Robert had hit number four on his speed dial.
"Mike, is John awake? I need to speak to him; it is an emergency! Life or death, well not exactly, except for this jerk wad of a cop I am kneeling on, maybe." Robert was speaking calmly, but forcibly.
"Before I give you John, where in the hell are you?"
"I am with Jeff, now give me John." Robert demanded of his best friend and business partner.
"Robert, how can I help you?" A very perplexed John Reynolds asked the man he had seen only a short time ago.
"Judge Reynolds, I need your help, and I need it now."
"Mike, I told you it is John..." Judge Reynolds responded.
"I need to speak to the Head Supreme Court Justice of our state, Judge John Reynolds!" Robert responded.
"Okay Robert, you have the Judge, let me put this on speakerphone and have Mike grab a legal note pad." The Judge replied, now all business.
While Robert was waiting, he looked over at Jeff and Andreu and was thrilled to see that they were bonding. He smiled slightly when he saw Andreu mouth 'Supreme Court' and then Jeff reply "He is my friend too."
"Okay Robert, now what do you need a Supreme Court Justice for? And before you answer, I must tell you that I have sworn Mike in as a Deputy of the Court and he is acting as my Official Recorder, so anything you tell me will be a matter of Official Court Record of these proceedings. If that is what you wanted, please state your full legal name and swear to the fact that everything you are about to state is the truth the full truth, so help you God," John informed Robert in a no nonsense tone of voice.
Robert quickly complied with John's request and by the time he was done, John was absolutely livid and Robert could tell from the mutterings over the speakerphone that Mike was also. As soon as he was finished with his tale, John was firing questions and orders.
"Robert, will you testify in court as to the language that so called cop was using and the fact that the SOB was using his night stick on an unarmed teen?"
"Yes..."
"Now, the next thing I need you to do, while I put you on hold is place that cretin under Citizen's Arrest. While you are doing that, I will be making a few calls, one of which will be to the State Police. Don't hang up; I will be right back." John barely waited for Robert's acknowledgment before pushing the hold button.
"Jeff and Andreu, Judge Reynolds has ordered me to place this piece of filth that I have my knee on, under Citizen's Arrest." Robert informed his two sons; he was including Andreu as he was determined that Andreu was going to have a Merry Christmas no matter what.
"Dad, I think you should let me do that; I have a little more up to date legal knowledge than you do. That way we can make the arrest as airtight as possible. Would that work for you, Dad?" Jeff asked.
"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Jeff. Andreu, will you be alright by yourself for a couple of minutes; while he helps me?" Robert spoke to Jeff and questioned.
"Yes Robert, as long as you both stay nearby," replied Andreu from Jeff's lap.
Jeff carefully helped Andreu up to a sitting position and then he removed his jacket, tucking it behind Andreu's neck to make him a little more comfortable. Once Andreu was comfortable, Jeff stood up and walked over to where Robert was kneeling on the renegade cop.
Jeff reached into his back pocket, took out his wallet and then to Robert's complete surprise, pulled out a laminated card and then began reading the Miranda Warning. Once Jeff finished reading the Miranda Warning, he then began citing the appropriate sections of the State Constitution that allowed him to perform the Citizen's Arrest.
While Jeff was arresting the jerk, John's voice began to emanate from Robert's phone.
"Robert, are you still with me?
"Yes Judge, I am still here, how can I help you?" Was Robert's response.
"First of all, exactly where are you? Second, have you performed the Citizen's Arrest yet?" Judge Reynolds asked in rapid fire.
"We are at Mollies Quick Save Whole Foods, on the corner of Mayberry and Green Acres. And no, I didn't perform the Citizen's Arrest; Jeff did, and he did it like he had done it before." Robert answered the Judge.
"Okay, I am sending the State Police and possibly a Federal Marshal or two. That's right, Jeff served as an Officer of the Peace for six months after Law School. The next thing we need to do, once the State Police have taken charge of that poor excuse of a cop, is to take the the boy to the hospital and have him checked out. Where is the nearest hospital to you?" John asked Robert.
"The closest one is St. Francis of Lynwood; it is only a few blocks away and that is the same Hospital that my company uses, and they have a fantastic Adolescent Treatment Center there. We can be there in a few minutes. Will that work, John?"
"Would you have the fax number of the hospital's ER or admitting office? I need to have the head of the State CPS fax some authorization paperwork to them. That way they will treat the boy without question. I can't keep calling him Boy! Does he have a name? Does he need an ambulance?" John asked Robert a few more questions.
"Yes, he has a name and it is Andreu..." Robert paused and looked over at Andreu with an inquiring glance.
"It is Phelps, Andreu Phelps." Andreu replied and then hung his head in shame, which had Jeff running back to his side.
Robert very calmly began speaking again to the Judge. "Judge, his name is Andreu Phelps, and we don't need an ambulance." Robert could not say anything else, because he was absolutely furious; Mayor Phelps was a sanctimonious SOB who preached one thing, but did another. He had been investigated many, many times, but no one could get any of the charges against him to stick.
"Phelps!!!!!!!!!!! That piece of S**t, he is going to go down hard, this time! Do you have a camera, Robert, so you can take pictures of what has been done to him, before you take him to the hospital? We need to carefully and accurately document everything, so we can nail his miserable excuse for a father but good, this time." John finished his rapid fire mini tirade.
"Yes Judge, I have a digital camera, but I can't get to it right now and I don't want to let this supposed cop get up off of the ground. I also don't want Jeff to have to leave Andreu alone... Robert paused as there was the sound of sirens getting very close. Shortly after that, the sound of squealing tires was heard, as well as multiple flashing lights being seen. 'What the hell, this looks like the whole frigging State Police and who do the blacked out Black Hummers belong to?' Robert's mind was racing.
"John, what in the hell did you do? Call out everybody including the National Guard? There are at least three State Police Cruisers and several vans and at least four hummers which I now see are Federal Marshals. Did you declare WWIII and forget to tell me?" A very curious Robert asked the Judge.
Just then a State Police Officer and a Federal Marshal walked up to Robert, studiously ignoring the wretched raging writhing redneck on the ground.
"Are you Robert Haines?" the State Police Captain asked.
"Yes I am," Robert replied.
"Judge Reynolds told us that you needed some help in dealing with some piece of slime, that takes pleasure in beating up kids. Can I assume that what you need help with is that thing, groveling under you? By the way, my name is Captain Neal Lennox." the Captain informed Robert.
"Yes Captain, it is, and that young man over there, with my Son-in-Law, Jeff, is Andreu. I would be very glad if I could hand this vile useless piece of crap over to someone else, since my knee is starting to hurt a bit. I also want to get Andreu to the hospital and get his injuries taken care of." Robert informed the Captain.
"We will take care of that in just a minute or so, first, however, I need to ask Andreu a few questions and then we will be glad to take care of that piece of garbage you are holding down. We won't take too long." the Captain replied to Robert, and while that was happening, one of the vans had opened up and two of the biggest, huskiest and meanest looking cops Robert had ever seen climbed out and they certainly weren't happy coppers.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Darryl was beginning to wonder what was taking his dad and his husband so long. He and his mom had been having a wonderful time, catching up with each other's lives. Amy was busy reading something, and on another planet entirely. Tommy had taken up all of Darryl's lap and the space next to him that he could, and was punching buttons on his hand held game console like a madman. Every now and then, Tommy would pause his game and look up to make sure Darryl was still there, and not a figment of his imagination. Tommy was so happy that his family was finally going to celebrate a real Christmas all together again.
"Darryl, when are Dad and Jeff going to get home? I'm thirsty and they have been gone for quite awhile?" Tommy asked his brother, who looked at his watch and saw that he and his mom had been talking for almost an hour.
"Mom, is Dad usually gone this long without calling you?" Darryl asked his mom.
"Not usually, unless, of course, he runs into an old crony of his, and they get to talking, losing all concept of time. What about Jeff?", was his mom's questioning response.
"No, Jeff calls if he is going to be even thirty seconds late, he is just a little compulsive about things like that. Maybe I should give him a call and see if I can find out what is going on," Darryl said, and then reached down and rubbed Tommy's arm to reassure his younger brother that things were going to be alright.
Darryl reached over and picked up the cordless phone and hit the #1 on the speed dial. A few seconds later, he heard the love of his life's voice.
"Hello love..." Jeff was interrupted by Darryl's impatience.
"Hun, I am missing you; is everything alright, and will you be home soon?" Darryl asked his husband as fast as he could get the words out of his mouth.
"We are fine, and I ... Yes Captain, I will be right with you..."
"Captain...? Right with him...? Jeff, what the heck is going on?" Darryl interrupted his husband as he didn't know what was happening.
"Darryl, love, I gotta run now, the State Police have some questions for me... and tell Mom that Dad says 'I love you'. Gotta go, I will call you back as soon as I can. Oh, and Dad says to stay home!" Kissing sounds then "Luv you, bye." A dial tone was heard.
"The State Police!?!?!?!?!?!? Darryl noticed he was speaking to a dial tone. Tommy sat up very quickly at the words State Police.
"What do the State Police want with Dad and Jeff?" A concerned Tommy asked his brother.
Carol and Amy chimed in with similar questions.
"All I know is that Jeff says they are fine and that the State Police had some question for him. Jeff also says to say, 'Mom, Dad said that he loves you.' Jeff also said we were to stay home and then he blew me a kiss and hung up."
"Hmmm, let me give Robert a call..." Carol was interrupted by her own cellphone ringing and as she didn't recognize the number, she answered it very politely.
"This is Carol Haines speaking."
"Carol, this is John Reynolds and I am calling you from my work phone. I just wanted to let you know that Robert and Jeff are both fine; they are helping me and the State Police solve a little problem that copped up, pardon me, I mean cropped up. I promise you that Robert will call you as soon as he can. You should be very proud of your husband; you won't believe what he is doing. Sorry I can't talk longer, Jens Younger from CPS is on the other line, Hugs. I will see you soon." Then that pesky dial tone.
"That was a very strange call, it was John Reynolds... The Judge, Mike's Life Partner, and he said that Robert was helping him and The State Police solve a little problem . He also said something very strange, he said I should be very proud of Robert. I have no idea what he means by that; he also said that Robert would call me as soon as he could." Carol told the three now very curious siblings.'What did he mean I will see you soon?' Carol wondered quietly.
"Andreu, my name is Captain Neal Lennox; I am from the State Police Department and I am here to help you. Don't worry about that idiot lying over there on the ground, he doesn't have any jurisdiction over you anymore; and those big bruisers who are coming this way are going to take him away from here, as soon as you answer a few questions. Is that alright?" The Captain then knelt down so he was on a closer level with Andreu, so he wouldn't be as intimidating.
"Andreu, I really need you to tell me that absolute truth, no matter what you think I might believe. I promise that I am here to make sure that all of our laws are enforced, and my personal feelings have absolutely nothing to do with that. But, just to put you at ease, I am very good friends with Judge Reynolds' husband, Mike. Yes, I said husband, so nothing you tell me will cause a problem. Are you ready?" The Captain asked Andreu.
"I guess so," A hesitant Andreu replied, while looking up at Jeff and then at Robert for assurance.
"It's okay, Andreu, our good friend the Judge sent him here, and that dumb idiot cop who was beating you is still lying here, under my knee." Robert replied as calmly as he could, considering his knee was beginning to kill him.
"Captain, does Andreu need legal representation?" a very curious Jeff inquired.
"Not yet, the Judge is listening over the phone, right now, to make sure we do everything we can to protect Andreu here, and put his father and his father's cronies behind bars for a good long time." Captain Neal replied.
"Andreu, first of all, is your full name Andreu Jonah Phelps, and are you fifteen years old until midnight?"
"Yes, that is my full name and I am fifteen until Christmas Day," Andreu answered the Captain, fairly assuredly.
"Okay then, I just have two more questions for you, really. Did your dad beat you and throw you out of your house when he found out you were gay? And did that 'Cop' lying on the ground there beat you when he found you trying to get food?" The Captain asked his questions as nicely as possible.
"Yes to both questions, Captain," Andreu replied, a little less sure this time.
"Okay Andreu, you have done really a really good job so far; I just need the answers to two more questions and these are really important ones. Did that 'cop' call you by name, and did he call you hate names while he was beating you?" The Captain asked Andreu his questions, while glaring at the so called cop.
"Huh?? Why yes, he did; he knew my name and he called me 'Cock..'" Andreu replied not quite sure why the Captain had asked those questions the way he had.
"Mr. Haines, you may get up now, and you, rotten piece of filth, had better not even move an inch, or you will be filled so full of lead, you would make a perfect anchor." Captain Neal spat the last words out.
As Robert started to get up, the Captain motioned to the two massive uniformed brutes;
"He is all yours, guys, take him downtown, and by the way, I don't care one little bit, what shape he is in when you finally get him there; just as long as he is alive. I think he should be breathing, at least." The two officers yanked the rotten piece of scum up from the ground and started dragging him towards the van. When the idiot tried to complain about the treatment, a rifle butt to the head, with substantial force behind it effectively silenced him. Seems he couldn't stand the sight of HIS blood.
"My son is Andreu's age" the Marshal said in response to his action.
"Andreu, before we let Jeff and Robert take you to the hospital, we need to take a few pictures of your bruises and the wounds that cop inflicted on you, and we need to make sure you have no broken bones. You can stay right there, with Jeff holding you, okay." the Captain asked Andreu and when Andreu nodded his head, the Captain signaled for the two photographers to come forward.
While the photographers were carefully doing their jobs, two young good looking EMT's also came up to check Andreu out.
"Bob, did you hear enough; can we go get those other slime balls so we can all go home before Christmas?" Captain Neal asked the Lead Federal Marshal.
"Yes Neal, we have more than enough, and tell Andreu thank you for all his help." the Marshal nodded his head and then began barking orders into his shoulder Mic. Thirty seconds later, there was only one State Police Car and the EMT's Vehicle left in the parking lot from the armada that had been there earlier.
"Robert, Jeff and Andreu, let me explain what is going on now, so you will understand why Robert thought the Judge had declared WWIII. One Second." The Captain answered his phone which had began squealing. "Yes Judge, got it. Robert, you can hang up now. Okay folks, it is like this, when the Mayor kicked Andreu out of the house, he wasn't thinking clearly. A few hours later, he realized that he had screwed up, since Andreu wasn't sixteen yet; he then called that ugly bozo we just hauled away and told him the story and asked him to find and bring Andreu back home. What he didn't know was that we had bugged your phones, Andreu, because of several graft cases we have been investigating and which are ongoing. When I received the Judge's call tonight, I was in town because of those cases while I had the Judge on the line, I called your house and your father then reported you missing, only he never filed a missing person's report. Andreu, did your mother do anything to stop your father from beating you and throwing you out?"
"She uh, threw her purse at me and called me The Devil's Spawn; the last thing I heard was 'call the locksmith so he can't sneak back in'." Andreu tearfully responded, which caused both Jeff and the Captain to try and hug Andreu to make him feel better.
From his kneeling position, the Captain reached over and carefully lifted Andreu's chin up so he could look Andreu in the eye.
"Andreu, you did nothing wrong, your parent's are entirely wrong, this time. No matter what your parents said or say, there is nothing wrong with being gay or loving another man. Do you like Jeff, since he seems to want to look after you, today?" Neal paused a few moments until Andreu nodded his head yes.
"Well, in case these two didn't tell you, Robert's son Darryl is also married to that nice guy, Jeff who is holding you. Is he a bad person? Look at Robert; he risked getting hurt or arrested to protect you, and did he stop when he found out you were gay? So, are you going to keep on thinking bad about yourself because you were born gay, knowing that there are respected people who love you, and they know you are gay?" the Captain asked Andreu, as calmly as he could with his face showing tenderness.
While Neal was trying to reassure Andreu, the EMT's were giving Robert their report.
"Andreu only needs to go to the Hospital to have a few precautionary X-Rays taken and the doctors there will probably take a few more pictures. By the way, Mr. Haines, make sure you meet with Dr. Kildare Sloan, the head of the ER; he is my uncle and he is FAMILY. I will give you two copies of my report, one for you to keep, and the other is to give to him. Tell him that Frank and his PARTNER Leo said hi. You can close your mouth Mr. Haines, you don' know how good a friend you have in Judge John Reynolds." Frank, the EMT, told Robert and then blew a kiss to Leo.
The EMT's quickly packed up, and after wishing everyone Merry Christmas, returned to their vehicle and 'had went' home.
(I know, I know, but it isn't my story, it's TSL's story, and he told me to leave it, so there.) {I'm so used to changing that it's hard to leave it, but the Evil Side of me is a big help.}[Editor's are a lot of help they are really ;)]
Trying to lighten the mood somewhat, Jeff had begun lightly tickling Andreu on his sides where he was not bruised and the Captain ruffled Andreu's hair before saying, "I think we are all finished here; it is time to get this young man to the hospital and then you need to take him on home to the rest of your family. By the way Robert, I had one of the Marshals replace the huge dairy section that was sitting in your SUV so you would have a fresh supply, and they are delivering it to Jeff and Darryl's place, at the State's expense. Since you were kind enough to take the time to help us land that stinkin' big fish. You can explain to me later just what you are going to do with half a dairy! They are also delivering a nice bouquet of flowers to Carol and Amy with a brief note from John. Now, let's us all mosey on down to the Hospital; I have been authorized to escort you CODE Three, and lock all signal lights along the way. Are we ready to go, and Andreu, would you like to ride up front with me, or with Robert and Jeff in their Hummer?"
Andreu looked up at Jeff inquiringly. ['Blazing Sirens' wins hands down every time. Mel Brooks Rule!]
"Okay, I will put Jeff in the back seat like a CRIMINAL and you can sit in the front seat and Robert can follow. Is that all right with everyone?"
Jeff didn't know what to say, he wanted Andreu to be happy, but he wanted to talk to Robert also about what was going to happen to Andreu after the hospital. But he caved in to the look on Andreu's face, and in his eyes.
"Okay, I surrender; lets get this show on the road, OUR family is waiting for us."
Jeff walked the few steps to where his Father-in-Law was standing, gave him a big hug and a kiss while whispering;
"Thanks Dad, he really needs us."
"I love you too son, and don't worry about Andreu, he will be just fine. But you need to ask Andreu if he has any money at all and if he does, ask for it as a retainer, just in case. If he doesn't have any, give him this ten dollar bill then ask him for a retainer; that way he has a lawyer if he needs one besides John."
Jeff took the cash and replied, "Gotcha, Dad," then released the hug and turned back to Andreu. He had to jump out of the way because the fifteen year old in spite of his injuries had launched himself at Robert and had enveloped him in a bear hug while saying;
"Thank you, thank you," over and over.
While Andreu was hugging him, Robert motioned to Jeff to give him back the money. Jeff not understanding, did that anyway. Robert then gently returned Andreu's hug while sliding the money into Andreu's back pocket.
"Are you ready, Andreu?" Neal called out as he started over to his cruiser.
"Just a moment Captain, I have one more question to ask Andreu." Jeff replied for both of them.
"Andreu, do you by chance have any money left at all, to pay me to act as your lawyer?" Jeff asked, smiling.
Andreu started to shake his head No and tears began to form.
"Andreu, what is that piece of green stuff sticking out of your back pocket? It looks like money to me, and Jeff only needs a dollar for his retainer." Robert asked Andreu, who reached back and pulled out the ten dollar bill, and with a stunned look on his face handed it to Jeff. {Legal Fee not Braces}
"I hereby accept this ten dollar bill for my retainer, and I am now officially your lawyer, if you need one. Don't worry Andreu, it is just a technicality. Let's go have a ride in a Cop Car. See ya at St. Francis, Dad." Jeff then took Andreu by the hand and they headed towards Neal and his cruiser.
The two vehicle caravan made a very quick trip to the hospital; Robert used his hands free phone while he was still in the parking lot, and called his wife. He gave Carol a quick rundown on the situation and told her they would be home as soon as they could. Once they reached the hospital, everything went very quickly until it came time to pay the bill. When Robert went to pay the bill, he was told that CPS had already taken care of it. Robert was adamant about his insurance paying for Andreu. He wasn't getting anywhere, until the clerk saw his business card and quickly changed her tune. Her daughter had been born in the Haines Natural Birth Center for almost no charge, and that facility was funded by Robert's corporation.
"Yes Sir, Mr. Haines, just sign right here while I make an imprint of your Medical Card. There is one problem though, the last name is different than yours." The clerk nicely informed Robert.
"That, Young Lady, is only a temporary impediment, I assure you; just let me make a quick phone call..."
"That won't be necessary, Mr. Haines, Judge Reynolds has faxed us everything we need." Dr. Kildare Sloan appeared as if by magic.
"Thanks for letting me take care of your fine young man, and bring him back some time next week, so I can check to see how much he has grown. " Dr. Sloan then turned to Andreu and said;
"Now, Andreu, you take good care of those two old men; see that they get lots of hugs and cuddles and tell them you can have one, and only one, mug of Mr. Haines' 'World Famous Eggnog'."
The good doctor gave Andreu a nice warm hug and then went back to his rounds. Leaving Robert standing there in shock.
Robert and Jeff each took one side of Andreu and Robert said; "Okay son, let's get out of here and get home where we can relax. I will whip a batch of real Eggnog and we can roast chestnuts in the fireplace and sing Christmas Carols, while Jeff plays the piano for us..." Robert stopped suddenly, because Andreu had stopped and was staring at them.
"Where are you going? Where am I going to stay? What do you mean, 'roast Chestnuts' and what is 'Eggnog', let alone 'Real Eggnog'?" A very confused young man was asking his two benefactors.
"Jeff, I thought you told him?"
"No, I thought you told him, Dad?" Jeff responded to his Father-in-Law trying not to laugh out loud.
"Never mind, you two clowns, I will tell the poor kid before he thinks you two are insane. Andreu, you are going home with those yokels to Jeff and Darryl's house for at least a few days. Robert's wife Carol, his son Tommy and their daughter Amy are spending Christmas there. If you say yes, you'll probably be going to the Haines house after that. Do you feel better now?" Neal the State Police Captain had shown up just in time.
"You mean I get to spend Christmas with your family and not at a shelter?" Andreu asked Robert and Jeff in total disbelief.
"Andreu, please understand something, you are not ever going to a shelter again, if I have anything to say about it. You can stay with my family as long as you want to, or need to and I know my family will love you as much as I do. Even this hardnosed Republican standing here next to me has fallen in love with you." Robert had to pause because Jeff punched him in the arm, causing both Neal and Andreu to start laughing which of course caused the Hospital Staff to send icy glares their way.
"So Andreu, are you ready to come and meet your new family and spend Christmas with us?" Robert asked Andreu.
"As long as I don't have to go to my parents' house ever again. I guess I am ready I am kinda hungry and thirsty as long as you have more than chestnuts to eat, whatever those are?" A slightly happier Andreu replied.
"Andreu, believe me when I tell you that you don't have to worry about that; we have enough food for an army so we will feed you as soon as we get home. Don't go knocking chestnuts until you try them 'Roasted on an Open Fire' and I have no idea what 'Real Eggnog' is either, and I had no idea that my Father-In-Law's Eggnog is 'World Famous' so I guess we had better get home and find out. Come on old man, get busy driving us home!" Jeff then grabbed Andreu's hand and headed towards the exit, followed by Neal, leaving Robert standing there by himself.
Robert quickly followed everyone else, shaking his head while pulling his keys out of his pocket and pushing the unlock button and then quickly pushing the lock button. Neal was laughing his head off at the reaction of Jeff and Andreu because Robert's unintentional timing was perfect. Jeff had just reached up to open the door when it locked again!
Robert stood there for a minute trying to control his laughter and then he asked his two sons;
"Did you two forget someone?" While holding the keys up.
Robert then took pity on the two as it was getting very chilly and unlocked the Hummer, Jeff and Neal then carefully helped Andreu up into the back seat. Once everyone was seated and belted in, Robert started following Neal in his cruiser with lights only this time, no sirens. The conversation during the ride from the hospital was fairly light. Andreu had lots of questions about the family and where everyone lived. When they pulled into Jeff's driveway, all three of them were surprised at the number of cars that were parked there. Robert didn't say anything, but he did recognize John Reynolds car and he also saw that some of the others were unmarked government vehicles.
Once Robert had brought the Hummer to a complete stop, he got out and went around to the other side to help Jeff get Andreu out. But he was too late, as Neal was already helping Jeff. Robert decided he would head towards the house and let everyone know that they were home. Robert reached the front door but before he could open it, the door was opened by his wife whose hug and kiss let Robert know how much Carol still loved him. The two were nearly bowled over by Darryl trying to get to Jeff. Robert quickly reached out and grabbed Darryl as he went by.
"Hold up Darryl, let them come to us I don't want Andreu getting overwhelmed. He is still a little skittish. We should go inside and let Neal and Jeff bring him inside so he won't feel overwhelmed."
"Are you sure?" Darryl asked.
"Yes, I am very sure he still doesn't believe that he is spending Christmas with 'Our Family' he still thinks he is going to end up in a shelter. So just go easy on him and let him spend time with Tommy and Amy since they are his age or close enough."
Before Darryl could respond, Carol and Robert began pulling him inside. They had just entered the foyer when Neal, Jeff and Andreu came walking up the stairs. Robert stopped at the entrance to the family room, because not only were John and Mike there, but so were three other men he didn't recognize. John was seated on the couch with Tommy in his lap while Mike was in Darryl's recliner cuddled up with Amy. One of the unidentified men was sitting in the other recliner while the other two who were obviously Plainclothes Officers of some sort, stood around and tried to look like they belonged there.
"Robert, the gentleman in the snazzy Grey suit trying to look casual, and trying to look like he really wants to be here, is Jens Younger, head of the State CPS and the two goons trying to blend into the woodwork are Federal Marshals, Dumb and Dumber..." John started introducing everyone to Robert but he was interrupted by one of the Marshals. The smaller of the two plainclothesmen began speaking and smaller is a relative term, as both of the men looked like they could have been members of the famous Purple People Eaters.
"Mr. Haines, my name is Colonel Wilton Potter and my Partner here is Major Sherman T. Parmenter and we are sorry you have to be associated with this Justice Reynolds person, and Judge, behave or I am going to call your mother and then your sister and you know what will happen to you if I don't get home soon. Well, never mind. I see our guest of honor has arrived. Andreu, you don't need to hide behind the Captain, we are here to make sure that these crazy people are going to take good care of you, and that these bureaucrats sign all the right papers, cross their eyes and dot their T's, or something like that," the Colonel directed his comments at the end to Andreu with a grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye.
"Seriously though, Andreu, these are all really good people and you couldn't have found a nicer family to spend Christmas with, and longer, if you want. We are actually here on a little bit of official business that hopefully won't take too much longer and Andreu, it doesn't really involve you, so can relax. And Mr. Haines, I am really thirsty and I understand you make a 'Killer' Eggnog, so why don't you take Andreu and the other kids into the kitchen and fix something to kill my thirst." Colonel Potter woke Robert out of his trance.
"Not so fast, Robert, we have some Papers for you and Andreu to sign, so please step into the dining room; we have them all carefully laid out on the table, and make sure you dot your I's and cross your T's. And Robert, your lovely wife Carol has already signed them, so you have no excuse and your budding lawyer made sure everything was correct and he initialed every page for you." John spoke up as he and Jens rose and headed towards the dining room, ruffling Tommy's hair as he dumped the giggling teen onto the plush carpet.
When they entered the dining room Andreu took one look at all of the papers spread out on the table Andreu who Neal and Jeff had given a slight shove forward gave a gasp of dismay.
"We will be here all year signing all of these papers are you sure we need to do all of this just so I can stay here for Christmas?" Andreu queried.
"My name is Tommy; the dumb adults forgot to introduce us and that is my sister Amy standing next to my mom, Carol and that white haired guy hanging all over Jeff is my brother Darryl. And as your Lawyer, I strongly suggest that you sign every page you need to; I made sure that they aren't trying to pull the wool over your eyes and everything is in your best interest." Tommy then grabbed Andreu's hand and walked over to one of the stacks of papers.
"Okay, start signing here, here and here." Andreu, in a complete state of shock, began signing as he was told to by the younger teen.
Andreu was dutifully working his way through the stacks of paperwork that Tommy was telling him to sign, followed by Robert doing the same thing only without direction. Of course Robert had no problem finding where he was supposed to sign, as Tommy had written 'Dad sign here' everyplace necessary. They were about halfway through the stacks of paper when Andreu abruptly stopped and stared at the paper in front of him.
"I can't sign this, it isn't my name?" Andreu queried Tommy who was standing next to him.
"Yes it is, see this paper you just signed, it says that you want to give up your old name and take ours, and be my new brother." A smiling Tommy replied, and then turned towards his dad and smacked him on the shoulder.
"Daaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddddd, you didn't tell him, did you? No wonder he is so confused, Bad Dad, Bad brother Jeff, and Uncle John; how could you let them get away with it? Come on Andreu, we are going to the kitchen and get a drink, while I explain everything to you; never trust the adults with ANY important stuff; they will screw it up every time. Mom take care of your husband." Tommy then took Andreu into the kitchen while the adults couldn't decide whether to laugh, cry or punish Tommy.
"Men!!!" Was all Carol could say before she followed the two teens into the kitchen, she stopped just inside the door as she saw Andreu crying on Tommy's shoulder and Tommy hugging him back and saying;
"Its okay, Andreu, you are my brother now and I promise, no one is going to hurt you again. You are my big brother and you now have two big brothers also, Darryl and Jeff. And you are going to love your new mom; she is really great and Amy is okay for a sister. Dad, well what can I say about him, I have always loved him even when he was being a big jerk about Darryl and Jeff, but then, he never said bad things about them or forbid us from seeing them." [See Neal those "S" things aren't all bad.]{Says you, Jeez}
Carol decided it was time to interrupt;
"Andreu, Tommy is right, my husband screwed up by not telling you that he wanted you to join our family and I am very glad you are. Tommy needs a big brother, now that Darryl doesn't live at home anymore, and now maybe he won't try so hard to drive his sister crazy. Now, I believe you need to sign that last piece of paper, so you can really be Tommy's brother. Do you want that? While Carol was talking to the two teens, she had been slowly walking closer until she was standing behind Andreu and she asked the question as she was hugging him.
"You really want to be my mom? Even if I love boys?" Andreu shyly asked Carol.
"Andreu, your loving boys has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to be your mother. My husband has fallen in love with you and wants you in our family and that alone proves to me that my husband has finally woken up; and if he loves you, then so do I. And I would trade Jeff for Darryl any day, and Jeff loves boys, or at least Darryl, so does that answer your question?"
Tommy never broke his hug with Andreu while his mom was talking. "I want you to be my brother also. Your being gay just means there will be more girls for me to date. So let's go make you my brother." Tommy then released Andreu and took his right hand while Carol took his left and the three returned to the dining room.
"Robert to the Kitchen, NOW, get busy and fix your 'World Famous Eggnog'. I will look after our new son and we will see whether you are sleeping on the couch or not!" Carol gave her husband his marching orders.
Robert, being the smart man that he was, just said "Yes, hun," and then headed to the kitchen signaling Amy to help him.
As Robert was heading towards the kitchen, Andreu, feeling a lot better now, innocently asked;
"Mom, why would you trade Jeff for Darryl any day?"
'Silent Night' would have been an appropriate song to play at that moment.
Carol, without batting an eye, replied;
"Because I love him more than Darryl, because Jeff always brings me flowers and dark chocolates, and Darryl only brings me milk chocolates. Do you understand now?"
Andreu replied by going over to Jeff and hugging him and saying;
"I like roses and dark chocolates too," and then running back and hiding behind Tommy.
Robert stuck his head into the dining room and signaled Darryl to come into the kitchen.
"Darryl, I need you to make a run to the mall and pick up some nice Christmas presents for Andreu; get him some electronic gizmos and some nice clothes. You need to hurry though, the mall will be closing soon. Have Tommy help you, using your camera phone; tell Tommy on your way out."
"Okay Dad, that is a great idea." Darryl then went back into the dining room and whispered into Tommy's ear. Tommy nodded and Darryl went back into the kitchen, grabbed some keys and went out to the garage.
"Okay Mr. Andreu Jonah Haines or you will be as soon as you sign this last piece of paper here." Mr. Younger reminded everyone.
Andreu now willingly moved over to the table and signed very quickly, as the truth of the matter began to really sink in. As he finished signing, Amy came over and gave him a big hug and a kiss.
As Andreu was wiping the kiss off, Amy was saying;
"Welcome to the family, brother."
"What about all the rest of those papers; I haven't signed those yet?" Andreu asked Mr. Younger and Judge Reynolds.
"Gentlemen, I believe I can explain those papers to Andreu easier." Neal spoke for the first time in quite awhile.
"Andreu, do you remember those questions I asked you about what your father and mother said to you?"
"Yes, but what does that have to do with those papers?" Andreu asked Neal in return.
"Well, some of those papers are just official mumbo jumbo to make it look like Mr. Younger and Judge Reynolds are doing their jobs. Judge Reynolds made you a ward of the State, and then Mr. Younger assigned you to Robert and his family in an emergency placement, so you could have a nice Christmas with them." Neal paused to catch his breath and then continued as Andreu was beginning to look worried.
"Okay now, before you get upset, 'Don't Worry', Judge Reynolds decided that wasn't good enough, so he made me give my report over the phone to him, and then he signed some papers terminating your parents' parental rights. What that means is they aren't your parents anymore; he then called Mr. Younger and made him come over here and then together, they created the adoption papers you, Robert and Carol signed..." Neal was interrupted by Tommy.
"Andreu, what that long winded adult is trying to say is that your name is now Andreu Jonah Haines and you are stuck with us forever, or until you find a guy like Jeff and get married..."
Now you would think that any halfway intelligent person who pulled up to a house and saw a State Police Cruiser and at least two 'Unmarked' Police Cars parked there, would use a modicum of decorum when dealing with any individuals they might encounter, now wouldn't you? Especially if the person was an Officer of the Court?
While Tommy was busy straightening Andreu out, a car driven by a uniformed Officer was pulling into the driveway. Sitting in the front seat was a frumpy middle aged rather plain woman whose hair was pulled back into severe bun. In the back seat was another uniformed officer whose uniform, like the drivers, was bursting at the seams and stained with coffee and jelly donuts.
The doorbell started ringing and Jeff, who was always a gentleman, went quickly to answer it, as he neared the door, the two Marshals who had been forgotten moved into position. Just as Jeff reached the door the ornate Grandfather Clock in the hall chimed midnight.
Jeff turned the doorknob then was slammed into the wall as a the large Teutonic woman followed by her two uniformed assistants stormed through the door shouting;
"Where is that spoiled rotten brat of a homosexual pervert, Andreu Phelps; I am here to take him into custody?"
The bellowing ill tempered woman came charging into the dining room like a bull in a china shop, not noticing that her two assistants had deserted her. The two uniformed yokels had been stopped dead in their tracks by the guns pointed at them and the badges flashed in their faces.
Major Parmenter kept the two thugs covered, while Colonel Potter trailed the mad woman.
"Where is Andreu Phelps, I know he is here and I want to know what he is doing here?"
Her bellowing voice frightened Andreu, and he started to hide behind Tommy again, which brought him to her attention.
"You thought you could get away from me, you sniveling faggot degenerate," The woman then lunged to grab Andreu, but before she could even begin to reach him, she was charged by Tommy.
"Leave my brother alone, you ugly witch!" Just before Tommy reached her, she raised her arm to hit him.
"Get out of my way you little brat, you are probably a queer just like him." As she went to strike Tommy, her arm was grasped in a vise like grip of steel and a thunderous voice announced;
"That is ENOUGH, woman! Don't even think about touching him!" She then felt a steel bracelet being slapped onto her wrist, and before she could even gasp, her other arm was grasped and twisted behind her back and she had a nice pair of matching bracelets.
"You can't do this to me, I am on official business; I have a job to do!" She was screaming at the top of her lungs at everyone. No one seemed to be paying the slightest bit of attention to her ravings.
"First of all, who in the hell are you, breaking into this house, assaulting one person and attempting to assault a minor child, and all the while, shouting hateful epitaphs?" Mr. Younger, asked the insane woman struggling in Colonel Potters grasp.
"I am an Officer of the Court!" she shrieked, "and you can't treat me like this! My name is Tammy Raye Bottomhiggin, and I am the head of the CPS in this city, and I am here to take the runaway faggot, Andreu Phelps, into custody. I am just performing my job! Now let me go, you big buffoon!"
"Well, Mrs. BottomFeeder, or whatever your name is, I suppose that you WERE working for the CPS, however, your job ended as soon as you illegally entered this house!..." Mr. Younger was interrupted by the idiot woman whose single brain cell obviously wasn't working.
"What do you mean "were" who in the Hell do you think you are, talking to me like..." Tammy's screaming was silenced by Colonel Potter gagging her with his hat.
"Well, Mrs. Bottomfeeder, I WAS your Boss, my name is Mr. Jens Younger and I am in fact, the State Director of the CPS and your old office is now under my personal control; and for your information, there is no such person named Andreu Phelps on these premises! Colonel, you can let her reply, and if she isn't civil, then you may feel free to use your ball gag on her as quickly as possible!"
The threat of the ball gag cowed her slightly and she stuttered out a reply;
"But, but he he.. he said he was here."
"I'm afraid your informant was gravely mistaken about everything, and you and the Ex Mayor will be sharing his cell while the State and the Feds decide who gets to try you first! You will be wearing orange and black for a long time. Now, I believe that Supreme Court Justice Reynolds has a few words he would like to say to you." Mr. Younger then nodded towards John.
"Mr. Younger was entirely correct when he stated that Andreu Phelps was not on this premises. Your informant was also wrong when he called Andreu a runaway. Andreu Phelps was a victim of a hate crime which was perpetrated by his ex parents and they were unsuccessfully attempting to cover it up with the help of you and your erstwhile informant." John paused to get control of his temper.
"I have terminated the Phelps' parental rights and have signed adoption papers for 'Andreu Jonah Haines' whose adoption was final even before your illegal entry and assaults were perpetrated, In addition, Andreu had turned sixteen before you attempted to abduct him, and therefore was out of CPS's Jurisdiction. You will be charged with breaking and entering, use of deadly force, by those idiot officers who accompanied you. You will also be charged with assaulting Jeffrey Smythe Burroughs the Fourth. Assault with intent to commit bodily harm on the minor Thomas Haines and attempted kidnapping of Andreu Jonah Haines. There will also be Libel and Slander Charges, as well as several hate crimes which will be added and these are just the start of the State charges. The Federal Marshal, Colonel Potter, who put you in handcuffs will be bringing Federal Charges against you. Do you have any questions for me? Good! Now Neal, help the Colonel get her and those other buffoons out of my sight." John sarcastically asked Mrs. Bottomhiggin before Neal and the Colonel whisked her out of the house.
Shortly after that, Jeff with Carol helping him shuffled into the dining room, Andreu ran over to him and began hugging him to death.
"Are you okay, Jeff? Are you going to be alright? What happened?" Andreu was asking questions so fast Jeff couldn't respond.
At the same time as Jeff started to reply, Darryl came through the open front door saying;
"Honey, I'm home."
And Robert carrying a tray filled with mugs into the dining room asking;
"Eggnog anyone?"
Once the laughter had settled down and everyone was brought up to date Robert's 'World Famous 'Killer' Eggnog' was passed around and seconds and thirds were enjoyed by everyone. Well almost everyone; Robert had fixed a small batch for the kids minus the 'good stuff' so everyone including the good Doctor Kildare Sloan was happy.
Mike, who had been quietly performing his duty as Court Reporter and had documented the whole shouting match, had a simple question for Robert.
Robert turned the color of Santa's Costume from his ears to his toes that is if anyone could see his toes.
"Ahhh well Tommy left his CD player in the Kitchen and I was listening to the CD I was going to give Carol as one of her Christmas presents. I was listening to Ella Fitzgerald's 'Wishing you a Swinging Christmas' and I didn't hear anything that went on."
"Dad, what number was the volume control set on?" Tommy asked, as Amy ran for the kitchen.
Amy came running back in before a Robert could begin to stutter an answer.
"DAD!!!! Number nine you grounded Tommy and me for using six!!!" Amy began moving threateningly towards her father waving the CD player in front of her.
"The couch, Robert, for six months!" Carol got out between laughs.
Everyone moved into the family room and made themselves comfortable drinking Eggnog and watching the lights on the tree and singing Christmas Carols as Jeff accompanied them on his Baby Grand. As the clock chimed two Tommy grabbed Andreu's hand and dragging Andreu with him walked over to his Mom and Dad and said, "Good Nights and Love Yous," Carol and Robert surprised Andreu by giving him a hug and a kiss also.
Tommy stunned his father when he said;
"Dad I have always loved you but never more than today, you gave me my Christmas wish you gave me a new big brother." Tommy blew his Dad a big kiss then dragged Andreu off to their bed.
Amy then went to bed followed shortly by Jeff and Darryl leaving Carol and Robert alone in front of a romantic fire.
"Robert I am so glad to have the man I fell in love with back in my life. Will you marry me again?"
Robert's response was a heartfelt hug and a deep loving kiss the two then headed to bed arm in arm stopping to look in on Tommy and Andreu. They were stunned by the loving sight before them. Lying in the moonlight, wearing only the suits they were born with was Andreu who was wrapped securely in Tommy's loving arms. Both of them were smiling like angels.
{Outside in the gently falling snow a small 'boy' said to his reindeer, "Come on Bartholomew, time to go home and tell the Big Guy everything worked out."}
First of all thanks Dark Star for allowing me to use his character Mrs. Higginbottom in this story. I can only hope I did her justice :) I can assure that any other characters that seem familiar are only due to your fertile imagination. On the other hand just' in case any all other characters used accidentally remain the property of the copyright holders and no inferences of any kind are made regarding their characters.
I would also like to take this time to thank The Radio Rancher and Str8mayb for their invaluable contributions to this story. I couldn't have done this with out them; oh and Str8mayb your Royalty Check is in the Mail for the use of 'Neal' and the "S" things reference. I hope your banque can handle Draconisian Royales :) {Not to worry, 'Philip' can easily handle the conversion.}
I won't get on a soapbox this year other than to ask all of you to share the true Spirit of Christmas with those who are in need. A Donation to a Food Bank, 'Toys For Tots' or a Warm Coat or Jacket would be greatly appreciated.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Buon Natale, Feliz Navidad, Happy Kwanzaa, Holy Ramadan, Frohe Weihnachten! ,Christmas Alegre! ,Joyeux Noel!,God Jul! , Glaedelig Jul! , Nadolig Llawen , Gledelig Jul , Nollaig Shona Duit , Mele Kalikimaka
Well, I think this was a very good story/chapter. I guess we will have to see just what will happen now. I strongly suspect that with a little bit of coaxing, we can talk TSL into telling us more about the people in this wonderful story. I will make sure to tell him how much I love these guys.
Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher
I really have enjoyed this years installment of this story. Let me be the first to bug TSL to write more of this story. You don't have to wait till next Christmas, really. We won't mind at all to see an Easter chapter, honest.
Darryl and I have had fun helping with ideas while TSL was writing and adding enough words to get the count to 14,000, even.
Str8mayb
I am deeply flattered that TSL has asked me to post his Christmas story for him on the Christmas board, and even give it a short look-over. I guess the Radio Rancher must have run low on his last delivery of commas, as I had to add a few here and there, and his supply of ending quotes seemed to be quite low as well ;) On the other hand, it really is a great and heartwarming story, although it would have helped if I had read the first part of it. But I think I still got most of the references. And if not, I will once I have found the time to read the first chapter as well.
John Hollingway