The following weekend was parents’ weekend at Frankies’ college, but this time I took the next group of boys that would be considering college. I hoped this might motivate them into deciding on what they wanted to major in and where they might like to go, as they would be sending out their initial letters of application in a couple of months. As we loaded into the Suburban this time, I had Pat, Ricky, Jay and Shannon with Jake and me. Even though Jay didn’t live with us, he was still part of the family and one of the juniors, so we included him in our plans, with his parents’ consent of course.
Jake was looking forward to encouraging his son about going to college, since Jake had never gone beyond high school himself. He had told me once it was never even an option he had considered, since no one in his family had ever pursued a college degree, but he wanted Shannon to have the opportunity he was never given. I thought that was wonderful and Jake was eager to have Shannon experience the same type of eye-opening weekend as his father had enjoyed when we went to visit Dustin’s campus.
This time, I left Danny, Brandon and Kevin in charge while we were gone, with Sally, the Shays and the Spences on alert, just like before, in case the boys needed any assistance. I was fairly certain they wouldn’t, since they had pretty much run the household for me since my heart attack, but it is always best to be prepared for any type of unexpected crisis.
As soon as we got back from visiting Dustin, I had reserved two rooms at a motel near the campus, one for the boys and one for Jake and myself. After our last weekend together, I wanted to make sure we had some privacy, just in case either of us was feeling frisky. I was slowly getting stronger and felt I might be up to a little more on this trip and was looking forward to spending time with Jake away from the house.
This weekend was very similar to the one we’d had with Dustin, except there was much more patriotic fervor intertwined throughout, due to 9/11. During our time there, we attended a soccer game (where we sang the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ and ‘America the Beautiful’ before the game began, followed by ‘God Bless America’ at halftime), took a tour of the campus and then unwound a little at the evening’s social function (where we also observed a moment of silence for the victims and the country as a whole).
This time, however, there was no other set of parents for us to get to know, since Frankie’s roommate’s folks did not come to participate in parents’ weekend. I later learned from Frankie that the boy and his parents have a very strained relationship. He had told Frankie that much, although he never shared any of the details concerning the reasons for it being the way it was. Therefore, in order to ensure he didn’t feel left out of the fun, we asked him to join us in everything we did while we were there, which included taking him out for meals and to church with us. The only real difference between the two weekends, besides the lack of a second set of parents and attending a soccer match instead of a football game, was later that evening, once we were in our motel room, Jake and I decided we wanted to move our relationship to the next level.
Maybe I should clarify this point a little. I’m not just talking about Jake and I having sex here. Once we were alone, we started talking about what was going to happen as the boys started to move away to attend college and then begin their own lives, apart from us – but more to the point, once it was Shannon’s turn to leave the nest. Jake admitted he wasn’t going to know what to do with his life after that happened, except it would be easier to deal with now, since he had the other boys and me to ease his separation anxiety when that time came. When Jake told me that, it started us discussing our futures and we finally agreed we wanted to do it together – as a couple. We were both ready to move beyond just being boyfriends and lovers and ready to commit to a long-term partnership. Yes, we’d tossed this around before, but this time we were actually ready to commit ourselves to the idea. I think we were both a little giddy after reaching this consensus.
Anyway, our weekend passed quickly, and when we arrived home that Sunday evening, we were greeted by the boys and assured everything had gone smoothly. Later, as we sat relaxing, Graham told me he needed to speak with me, in private, so I took him to my room. I could only imagine what was on his mind this time, but I would have never guessed what he was about to tell me.
“Dad, Brent came to me again, while you were gone,” he began, “and he told me something he wanted you to know.”
“And just what would that be?” I asked, curious as to where this might lead.
“He told me about this boy who just lost his parents, and he wants you to take him in,” Graham blurted out quite quickly and without much emotion. It was just stated very matter-of-factly. “Brent says this boy can just take his place in the family now and he won’t mind.”
I was sort of stunned by this news, so I didn’t know what to say at first. After thinking this over quickly, I finally responded to Graham. “Even though I think I understand what Brent wants us to do, I’m not sure I’d even be allowed to take in another boy, especially after my recent health problems. I have a feeling Brent doesn’t understand that.”
“I think he does,” Graham corrected, “but he let me know this kid needs to come live with us, not just anyone. I think he was telling us we need to find a way to do this.”
“But why just us?” I countered.
“I’m not sure exactly why he’s telling me this,” Graham admitted, “but I think he was trying to let me know there is something different about this boy, something that most people wouldn’t be able to deal with.” Now, I was really hesitant to get involved in this, because I knew I couldn’t deal with the same types of things that I’d had to handle with Frankie or Pat, at least not until I got more of my strength back.
“Graham, I know Brent probably means well,” I began, “but I’m not sure he fully understands what has happened since he left us.”
“Oh, he does, because he told me that you were going to get better and be all right,” Graham quickly confirmed. “He also says you HAVE to do this. He’s let me know that if you don’t take this boy in, no one else will, and he’ll end up growing up in some institution.”
“How can he know all that?” I pressed, as this was getting more bizarre by the second.
“I don’t know, but that’s what he showed me,” Graham immediately explained.
“Well, I haven’t even heard of such a boy, but I’ll consider it when, and if, I do,” I told him, figuring that time might never come about.
“No! Brent says you have to find him,” Graham shot back.
“And just how would I do that?” I wanted to know. It’s not like I go looking for new sons.
“He’s let me know that you have to use your contacts, like Aunt Sally and others who could find out about such things,” Graham explained, but I didn’t see this as much more of an answer than before.
“But what would I tell her?” I asked, out of frustration. “I’d certainly have to have more information than I have now in order to do that.”
At this point Graham seemed to be staring off into space and I wasn’t sure of what was going on, but after a few minutes he spoke to me again. “Brent just told me that he’ll find a way to either get this information to you or he’ll come up with a way to bring the boy to your attention. I guess he’s not sure how he’s going to do this, but he said he’ll do it somehow.”
Having witnessed what I just had, I felt shivers run up my spine and felt goose pimples erupt along my arms. I didn’t believe it, but I had just witnessed Graham communicating with Brent. Sure, I’d known he was telling me he did it, but to see it take place before my very eyes was more than I was prepared for. At that second, I decided this was a good place to leave this discussion, since I wasn’t ready to commit myself to anything just yet. I guess, in the back of my mind, I hoped this topic would just fade away.
I was somewhat surprised to see Graham seemed content to end our discussion too, but I think he reasoned that Brent would let us know the details when the time was right, so for now I was off the hook about his pressuring me further. For the time being, neither of us had to make any hard and fast decisions.
By the end of September, I was doing quite well. I had regained much of my strength, felt better than I had since this had happened and the doctors confirmed I was progressing quite nicely. They still wanted me to limit my stress and exertion, and to take things easy, but I was told that, with a few restrictions, I could go back to doing most of the things I normally did. I did have to continue to watch my diet, to make sure I limited or eliminated fats, fried foods and such, and I had to take a few medications. The doctor also suggested I shed a few more of the extra pounds I had put on over the past few years, but I was thrilled that things were getting back to normal, so to speak, and I couldn’t wait to be active again.
While relaying this information to the family later that evening, they also became excited to hear that I could begin to do more, but then suggested they’d continue to do most of the work around the house, so I didn’t overdue it. Shortly thereafter, someone asked me when I’d be able to start teaching the next group to drive, and I told them I’d be willing to start this weekend, as long as Jake was agreeable to helping me out with it. At first he wasn’t sure I should be doing this, since he thought teaching young people how to drive could be very stressful, but I assured him that since I’d been through this twice before in recent years and with all of my adult children as well, I was prepared and things would be fine. Hearing my assurance, he agreed to help out, so I committed myself to working with the boys.
It was now time for Ricky, Jay and Shannon to learn how to drive. Pat was also old enough to be included in this group, but I wasn’t sure if his eye problems would interfere with his ability to get a license. I took him aside and discussed this with him privately, so I could see what he wanted to do. “Pat, you know I’m going to start teaching the next group how to drive,” I began, “and I was wondering if you wanted to be included in this group? If you do, then I’ll set up an appointment with your eye doctor, to see if he thinks this would be possible.”
“Dad, I’d really like to be able to drive, but I don’t want to do it if I won’t be a safe driver,” he confirmed. “I’ve seen people behind the wheel who shouldn’t be driving, and I don’t want to end up being one of them. I really would like to have my license, though, so I don’t have to depend on everyone else all of the time.”
“You’re a very wise young man,” I told him, “and I know you’re too smart to let anything like that to ever happen. In that case, I’ll set up the appointment, so we can find out if your doctor thinks you’d be able to pass the eye test and get your license. How does that sound to you?”
“It sounds great!” he replied. “I really hope he’ll tell me it’s okay for me to drive.”
The next day I called for an appointment, but the earliest they could squeeze us in was the following week, even after I explained the purpose for our visit. Even though we weren’t sure if Pat would be allowed to drive, I decided to include him in on that weekend’s driving lesson, so he wouldn’t miss out or fall behind, if it were permissible. Besides, we’d only be driving around an empty parking lot, so I couldn’t see what harm it would do. Pat was thrilled that I’d decided to do it this way, and I even let him go first, after I had given the group their first set of driving instructions. The boys all did very well for their first time out and each of them was extremely excited about having reached this plateau in their young lives. For me, it just felt good to get back to doing some of my normal tasks and taking my place as a contributing family member again.
On Wednesday evening, one of the boys called me to the phone, but didn’t give me any indication of who was on the line. A few of them were either smiling or giggling, so I felt it couldn’t be anything to worry about, so I picked up the receiver and said ‘hello.’
“Pop, it’s me, Michael,” I was quickly informed. “You have a granddaughter!” he added, excitedly, his voice dripping with emotion.
“REALLY?” I asked, rhetorically. “A little girl. How are Andrea and the baby doing?”
“They’re doing just great,” he assured me. “She was delivered about twenty minutes ago and she’s just beautiful.”
“I’m sure she is,” I agreed. “I don’t believe you and Andrea could have anything BUT beautiful children.”
“Thanks, Pop,” he responded. “She weighed six pounds, seven ounces and was twenty-one inches long,” he advised me.
“So have you named her yet?” I pressed.
“Oh, yeah,” he replied, sounding a bit embarrassed by the oversight. “We’ve agreed to call her Megan. I guess I should have told you that already.”
“It would have helped,” I teased, “but give me some more information, if you will, so I can send your lovely wife some flowers and the baby a going home gift.”
Over the next several minutes, Michael gave me the particulars I wanted and then I went to tell the others all I had learned. Some of them already knew some of this information, since Michael had told Pat, who had happened to answer the phone, and he’d already started spreading the word along to a few of the others. However, none of them were aware of most of the details, including her name. Needless to say, we were all more than a little giddy after receiving such wonderful information and September 27th would now have added significance for me.
The following day, while the boys were at school, I called and ordered flowers to be delivered to my daughter-in-law’s hospital room and ordered a newborn outfit for Megan and a mobile for her crib, which I had sent to their house. I could hardly wait until Michael emailed me pictures of my new granddaughter or I would finally get to hold her in my arms.
After a somewhat relaxing, yet euphoric weekend, I took Pat to his eye exam. He was a bundle of nerves as we drove there, but even more so while we sat in the reception area, waiting to be called in. Once we got in to see the doctor and he had concluded his examination, Pat began to pepper him with questions about his chances for being allowed to drive. After listening to all of Pat’s concerns, the doctor told him what he thought.
“Pat, even though you only have sight in one eye, it is good enough to allow you to pass the required vision test. There are many people driving who can only see out of one eye, but it does mean you’ll have to learn to adapt in other ways, to accommodate for the lack of peripheral vision. I don’t see the sight in that eye deteriorating any more quickly than for anyone else, so I can’t foresee any particular future problems either. Other than that, I see no reason why you can’t get your license.”
Pat was so excited after receiving this news that he leapt from his chair, but quickly regained control of his emotions. The doctor smiled at Pat’s reaction and told him he expected him to be a responsible driver, so they wouldn’t ‘run into each other’ any time soon. Pat caught the double meaning behind that phrase and promised the doctor he would make sure that never happened. As we drove back home, I watched Pat out of the corner of my eye and noticed he was still having trouble containing his excitement. He was wiggling around in his seat, drumming on the dashboard, and grinning like the proverbial cat that had just swallowed the canary. I was really glad it had turned out this way and he was so happy.
Now that things were getting back to normal, it took me a while to get used to the fact that I wouldn’t have to get up mornings and go to school any more. Eventually, I began to enjoy not having to work, especially when it meant I got to spend more quality time alone with my boys. After years of following a complicated schedule, I no longer had to worry about attending meetings, school functions (except those my sons were participating in) or board meetings. I was quick to utilize this extra time doing special things with them, even if it was just to take them shopping with me, stopping for a special treat alone with one of them or merely sitting and talking about their day. I now began to wonder how any of us had carried on before this moment, knowing how special this time had now become for me.
Over the interim, Jake and I had grown closer too, and the boys didn’t miss out on any of the signs that indicated this either. During that time, Jake and I had begun discussing the various matters concerning them before any decisions were made, and the boys caught on to this quite quickly. I later noticed they would sometimes play us, like some youngsters try to pit their mother against their father, and occasionally attempt to use the ‘divide and conquer’ technique to get what they wanted. Even though those attempts rarely worked for them, they did seem to enjoy the effort of trying to pull something over on us. Occasionally, Jake and I would knowingly let them succeed in their attempts, but only with minor issues that we knew wouldn’t impact them in any significant way. I think Jake and I had as much fun playing these games as the boys did, except we knew in advance how they were going to turn out and who was going to win.
Eventually, the boys began to question our relationship directly with us and asked if we were going to get married or do anything like that. We told them that for now we had decided to share many of the household duties, including making decisions about them, and planned on living as a couple, but we hadn’t made any decision about how to formalize our commitment.
The boys seemed slightly disappointed that we weren’t planning a wedding and I could see the wheels turning in their heads, as they attempted to discover a way to make this work out like they wanted. They seemed to enjoy having both of us around, especially since it meant the family would continue to stay together, even if something happened to me. Since my heart attack, I had changed my will and made Jake the boys’ guardian if I wasn’t around any longer, and had legally added his name to most of the household accounts and such. I had even given Jake power of attorney, in case I was ever incapacitated, and of course, Steve Shay had helped us in drafting all of these legal documents and Jake was more than willing to take over the helm, if that time should come. Needless to say, that gave me a great deal of comfort, knowing the boys wouldn’t be split up, should I suddenly cease to be around or become incapable of taking care of them.