When I awoke, I was definitely not where I had last been. From what I remembered, I had been walking along the street on my way home from work. My life had consisted of endless, meaningless days of working, then coming home to nothing. I'd spend my free time on my computer playing games, talking to online friends because I had none in my real life, and masturbating. I never went out. I never talked to anyone outside except when needed to at work. I just stayed home most days.
But now I was suddenly waking up in a grassy area, surrounded on all sides by trees and bushes. And the most disconcerting thing at first was that all the trees and bushes looked so big to me. Like huge somehow. As I sat up and looked around, things got even weirder for me. I realized by looking at my short legs, with child-size sneakers on at the end of them, that it wasn't the trees and bushes that had gotten bigger. I had gotten smaller, much much smaller. As I looked at my legs my blond hair fell down into my eyes, further surprising me. I was definitely not myself anymore. I was no longer the tragic loner with no friends, no life, and a horrible secret he couldn't share with anyone lest it completely ruin every aspect of his life.
Suddenly, as I was sitting there contemplating all this, a thought occurred to me: Was I still male? I was so consumed with this question that I couldn't, or maybe didn't want to, control my next action. I was wearing silky basketball style shorts without any pockets and blue and white sneakers with velcro instead of laces. I didn't even hesitate as I stood up and pulled the front of my shorts out from my hips by the waistband to peek in. I found I was wearing a rather embarrassing, at least to my adult mind, pair of cartoonish briefs that were mostly white with little gold stars all over them and nice blue trim and waistband.
There was an unmistakable bulge in those little briefs that gave me quite a bit of relief. I can't imagine being a girl, and I'm not really sure I wanted too. Regardless of the evidence, I still felt I had to look, so that's what I did.
So standing there, secluded in a little clearing of trees and bushes and looking down into my shorts as my hair fell down into my face, I pulled the waistband of my briefs out enough to peek inside. I found very pale, bare, hairless and smooth skin leading down to a rather small looking uncircumcised tube of flesh.
My first thought upon seeing my new nether regions was: "Wow, I've still got my skin." Which was a wonderful experience for me as in my past life I was circumcised. This thought was accompanied by a sudden urge to play with myself and explore, but then I heard the laughter of other children nearby and I thought better of it. I knew what it was like to be labeled the weird kid and that wasn't something I wanted to go through again if I could help it. Plus, there was a budding feeling I quickly recognized as childish curiosity washing over me and I impulsively went toward the sound of happy children screaming, laughing and otherwise carrying on.
As I emerged from the trees I found I had been in a small forested area right next to a park. There was a playground there in the park where around eight to twelve kids of varying ages below eleven were playing. I suddenly had the urge to go join them. And that was what I did, I let go of any adult thoughts or worries and rushed to join the other kids playing. I felt a little awkward at first, but the childish side of my mind over-rode any worry for my situation.
Several hours flew by as I played childish games with the other kids. All of this under the watchful eye of parents who were there watching over their children. Not a single adult thought permeated my mind as I played tag, tic-tac-toe on the playground set, and even swinging on the swings. It just felt good to let go and play in the freedom that only childhood could supply.
It wasn't until the other children started to disappear one by one, or sometimes two at once with their parents that I started to worry once more. It was starting to get dark and the early spring air was cooling off as the sun went down. Rather quickly, I found myself alone there on the swings. Everyone had likely disappeared to dinner and I had no memory of a place to go or even people that'd be looking for me. A feeling of loneliness settled over me as I sat there slowly swinging. My positive happy attitude I'd managed with the other children had quickly faded to be replaced with uncertainty as I tried to figure out what to do.
I began to shiver as the air grew colder. I was only wearing a t-shirt, shorts and sneakers and those did little to keep me warm. My stomach had also begun to protest it's emptiness with gurgles and growls. I wasn't sure what to do and felt stuck as I sat there barely swinging at all.
I was so stuck in my head that I didn't notice the person approaching me at first. It wasn't until I heard the mulch under their feet crunch that I did notice. I froze there on the swing as I looked toward the source like a deer caught in headlights. I felt my heart start to speed up and butterflies of fear in my belly.
The man approaching me seemed rather skittish himself. Regardless, my fear had a strong hold on my young body and mind that I quickly sprang to my feet and put the swing between us.
"Hey," He called out to me when I moved. "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you." The man explained, stopping right where he was. I got a good look at him then, though some features were hard to discern in the evening light. He had short blond hair that seemed to point any direction it wanted to, and his face was clean-shaven. He wore a light jacket that was zipped up and jeans along with some black boots that had a strange shine to them.
"Are you out here all alone?" He asked me, too which I decided not to respond. My adult mind knew all about the possible dangers I could face and I definitely didn't trust this stranger.
He took another step closer to which I took another step back. I was ready to run, my heart pounding fast in my chest. The man seemed to relent a bit and showed me his hands, which were both empty. I knew I probably had a rather wild look in my eye, so strongly did fear have a hold on me.
"I just want to help. I'm police, a detective, see?" He told me, which made me pause as he reached to his belt and uncliped his badge to show it to me. I almost bolted when he reached for it, my stomach did this little flip. But then I saw that it was in fact a badge in his hand. I couldn't make out all the fine details, but I knew he was likely authentic.
I tried to weigh my options then. I could stay and work with the detective, probably get help, food, a bed even. Though I also knew there was always a possibility I could end up in a bad home. The only other option I felt I had was to run, which would mean no food, and continued suffering in the cold. Not to mention I wasn't going to find a bed that night if I didn't get some sort of help. I must have been shivering as the detective picked up on it.
"Do you have a coat?" He asked me, to which I answered with a shake of my head.
"My name is Joseph, What's yours?" He then decided to ask. For a moment, I almost gave him my old name from the life I swear I had just been living. But then I figured I likely didn't have the same name here and whatever my new name was, I had absolutely no idea. So I simply shrugged. He seemed a little taken aback by my lack of a real answer, but he took it in stride.
"Come with me to my car and I'll get you a blanket while we wait on back up." He commanded. I thought a moment longer before giving a small nod, but I didn't get closer to him as I was still quite scared. He must have picked up on that however, because he then turned and lead the way, though he was still watching me out of a corner of his eye. He was likely trying to make sure I was following him.
I followed from what I felt was a safe distance. It wasn't like there was a lot of room between us, but I wasn't ready to be within arms reach of him. The man stopped at his vehicle, a stereotypical detectives's Crown Victoria. It was unmarked of course, and I decided to stop a little distance away in case he was lying and trying to trick me. He opened his driver door and sat in the seat. Then I heard him talking on his radio, though I didn't pick up everything he said. I did however, hear just enough to be sure he was indeed a genuine detective.
Most of my immediate fear evaporated at this point, but the butterflies in my stomach did not. My adult side knew this was anxiety, but my childish body was having a hard time dealing with it. I was shivering pretty badly, and not just from the cold now.
I heard Detective Joseph get a response over his radio, though I couldn't make out what it was. A moment later I watched as the detective emerged from his car and went to the trunk. After opening it, he pulled out a wool blanket and closed the trunk again. Then he started to approach me cautiously.
I felt the urge to run bubble up inside me again, but I did my best to be brave and ignore it. As Detective Joseph opened the blanket and draped it over my shoulders, he knelt down and pulled it gently around me.
"You're gonna be okay, Kiddo." He told me, one of his hands affectionately fixing a strand of hair that had fallen into my face. It was a wonder how this simple act managed to calm my nerves a bit, but I was becoming grateful toward the detective.
"Will you tell me your name?" He asked me kindly. I didn't speak though, for some reason I just felt like speaking would betray me or something. It was a silly thing, but the anxiety I was feeling in such a young body sure made even the smallest things seem much, much larger. So my response was to shrug once more, which seemed to perplex the man.
"Do you know where you came from, where your home is?" He asked me next, to which I also shook my head. I didn't feel like I was lying or anything, they really were honest answers, or at least shrouded in a gray area. So I didn't feel bad for my answers, but I did feel bad for the detective. I was making his job much harder after all. I must have worn my emotions though, as Detective Joseph seemed to pick up on my uneasiness.
"It's okay little guy, we'll find a place for you." He tried to reassure me while giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It'll turn out okay." He pressed. I just pulled the blanket tighter around myself for the simple comfort and warmth it gave.
For some reason, it just felt right for me to remain silent. It was as if speaking would expose me for the fraud I thought I was, and that was the last thing I wanted. I also only had the memories of my life before all this happened, and today after I woke up. I liked to believe I was a smart guy, despite my life choices. Plus I really had no idea how I got here, what my name was, or where I came from. I had no idea if I even had a family, if they were even looking for me, but I assumed I didn't.
"Has anyone hurt you?" He asked me, to which I shook my head. He seemed relieved with this answer. Before he had the chance to ask me another question, a squad car pulled up to where we were and both a male and female officer got out.
The car was one of those newish police interceptors, the ones that look like dodge Chargers. And both the officers wore uniforms and the body armor that was common these days. The detective went and spoke with them both while I watched and waited. After a few moments, the female officer broke off and came over to me. Instead of getting down to my level like Detective Joseph had, she bent at the waist to talk down to me. I immediately had a dislike for her for this, but I tried to remind myself that to everyone else I really was just a child.
"Hey there, little guy." She began in an overly nice tone. "I'm officer Harrow, and I'm gonna ask you a few questions. Will you do your best to answer them for me?"
Her question did little to motivate me toward answering anything she asked me, but I reminded myself that if anything else, it was at the least her job to help me. So I gave her a little nod to show I'd cooperate.
"Okay, will you tell me your name?" She asked nicely, but I had to shake my head as I didn't know my name. I added a shrug in at the same time in the hopes it'd convey that I didn't know my name. I assume she was at least partially informed as to this fact, as she didn't seem put off or taken back by my answer. I kind of figured it wasn't common for a child my age to forget his name, and worried I'd be pressed or called a liar.
"Do you know where you live?" She asked next, and once more I shook my head.
"Do you know your parent's names?" She asked, but by her tone I know she knew that question was a long shot. And indeed, it earned yet another shake of my head.
"Are you trying to run away?" She asked me. This one caught me off guard, as I wasn't certain how to answer it. I settled with a shake of my head though, because as far as I knew, that wasn't my intent.
"Okay well... do you know how old you are?" Another question, another shake of my head. I figured I could probably guess if I saw myself in a mirror. But I hadn't had that chance and I didn't want to give an actual answer. My uncooperative answers must have started to get to her though as it seemed to prompt her next question.
"Are you able to talk?" She asked, her tone betraying her annoyance. Her tone caused me to take a step back, and I could tell she knew she had messed up. I thought about speaking, I really did, but her tone and the way she talked to me prompted a little mischeviousness from me. So I gave her another shrug in answer.
She moved away then, whether in exasperation or for some other reason, I didn't really know. She went to the other two, the male officer and Detective Joseph, and began speaking with them.
I suddenly had the feeling that I had done something bad wash over me. It came out of nowhere and seemed to just take control. I felt hot over my entire body, though mostly my face, and it felt like my heart was sinking into my stomach. I started looking around so I might make a quick exit. I knew I'd go hungry but at least I now had a blanket to keep me warm. But before I could run the Detective approached me and before I'd even thought about it, I'd taken a fearful step back.
"Hey, it's okay. I know your scared, I promise you're not in trouble. We are just trying to figure out how to help you." He explained, kneeling down in front of me again. He slowly reached out and gently grasped my shoulders. This very simple thing actually brought me a little piece of comfort and I found myself actually beginning to like this Detective Joseph.
"Listen," He begin, his tone sounding worried for some reason. "I need to take you over to the hospital to be seen by a doctor, so we can make sure your all healthy." He explained, gently squeezing my shoulders. "From there we will meet a case worker from children and youth services and she'll tell us where you'll be staying until we find out more." He went on, explaining to me exactly what was going to happen. I nodded my head to show my understanding.
"Come on, you can sit in the front with me, only bad guys sit in the back." He said in encouragement. I knew his words were to try and comfort me, but it did little against the butterflies in my stomach. He released my shoulders to gently grasp my hand and lead me over to the passenger door of his car. Once he opened it, he bade me to climb in and I did so with just a little bit of difficulty. I wasn't at all used to being as small as I was now.
Detective Joseph helped me to buckle up my seat belt before he closed my door and then crossed over to get in on his side. His first action after that was to get on his radio.
"Dispatch, this is Detective Joseph Jensen. I have one male minor passenger to transport. Approximately six years old, no name given. Transporting to Saint Mary's Children's Hospital. Over." He said, glancing over to me and giving me what I'm sure he thought would be a reassuring smile.
"We copy detective. You're clear for transport." The response came.
I watched the detective nod and set his radio down. Then he strapped in and started the vehicle. He recorded something, the milage I believe, in a leather bound notebook. Then he put the car in gear and reversed out of the parking spot.
I have no idea how long the ride actually took, mostly because I was watching out the window and didn't glance at the clock. As the detective drove, we remained quiet for the most part. The moment we left the park it became obvious we were in some sort of city. All the buildings were closely packed together and driving was made slow by traffic.
As we traveled, I had a very hard time sitting still. I could still feel the butterflies in my stomach. In fact it was so uncomfortable that I couldn't control my squirming around in the seat. It was becoming clear to me that the emotions in this new body wouldn't be the same for me as in my past life. Not that that really mattered, I was never good at dealing with this feeling of anxiety anyway. It was until Detective Joseph put a hand on my leg, right above my knee, that I was finally able to sit still. His touch was comforting to me. After going so long without the touch of another human being, I found I was actually craving the attention.
Before too much longer, the Detective pulled the car into a parking garage and parked in one of the spots reserved for law enforcement. He got out the car and then crossed over to my side to help me out also.
"Don't worry, the doctors here are very nice and good with children." He told me, though it did little to actually help me with my fear and anxiety. He took my hand, leading me to believe he didn't trust I'd stick with him or something, and just like that he lead me into the hospital.