Once again, we chartered a bus to take Nigel’s family to the airport. It was a fairly quiet trip, as they boys merely sat with their guests and enjoyed their final moments together. If they talked, it was in whispers, but there was no horsing around and no one slept.
We reached our destination by eleven, but their flight wasn’t leaving until nearly two. However, with the extra security requirements, they had to be there that early to get through the screening process. As the Barstows were removing their things from the luggage compartment, we reiterated our promise to keep in touch and they did the same. It was a very emotional time.
We stayed and waited for them go through their departure gate, but we knew we couldn’t stay to watch their jet take off. It was just too long for the boys to hang out with nothing to do. Therefore, I led my brood back to board the bus and then we took off for home.
During the ride, I reminded the boy they would have to start getting their things together for school once we returned. We were planning to drop the college bound group off at their respective campuses the following weekend, and the others would be returning to class a few days later. They all groaned when they heard this, even though I knew many of them were looking forward to the new school year. Even though most of the boys were eager for the new challenges, I think they also wished for a couple of extra weeks to themselves, before they had to start up again.
Over the course of the next few days, I was faced with three unexpected and difficult situations. Although I would have preferred not to come back and be placed in crises mode so quickly, it was obvious I couldn’t avoid dealing with any of these situations.
The first problem cropped up while I was checking my email messages and stuck out like a sore thumb. This particular message was from the candidate the school board had offered the job to replace me as superintendent. He was turning them down!
It seems he was offered a similar, but more lucrative position, in a larger district and had decided to accept that offer instead. This left us hanging, since none of the other candidates met the requirements the selection committee had established. It also meant we were about to start the school year without a permanent replacement. This, in turn, told me that my temporary role in this position was going to be extended and the district would be going back to square one to find my replacement.
Once I got the boys to unpack and start the laundry, I contacted some of the other members of the selection committee, to see if they had done anything about this problem while I was away. They quickly informed me that they had already posted the job in various professional publications and notified a variety of college placement offices, as well as posting it on job procurement sites online. After thanking them for their rapid response, we discussed other ramifications this might have on the start of the school year.
I spent much of the remainder of the day dwelling on this situation and only took a short break to help Jake fix dinner. He had run out to pick up a few things while I was tied up with work, so now we talked as we prepared the meal. He was sympathetic, although not a great deal of help, but it was still nice to know he cared and was there for me.
The next day I stayed home, so I’d have the privacy I needed to confront this situation. I was afraid if I went in to the office I’d be deluged with a variety of other issues, which would distract me from my primary concern. The house was fairly quiet, since most of the boys had decided to go hang around the school, so they could chat with their friends and check out their class schedules. After that, they were planning to go off to do some last minute school shopping at the mall. The college boys had gone with them, because they wanted to pick up a few things too. Since Jake had returned to work, I was alone in the house when I heard a knock at the door.
When I went to answer it, I discovered an older woman standing there. She looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t quite place who she was, so I opened the door and asked what she wanted.
“Mr. Currie, I know you weren’t expecting to see me and I didn’t come to cause any problems, but I heard about what happened when the mother of two of your other sons showed up here.”
I was confused by her comment and still puzzled as to whom she was. Therefore, I decided to get right down to business.
“I’m sorry, but what business is that of yours?” I asked. “I’m afraid I don’t recognize you and not sure I even know you.” She blushed and stammered for a minute, before she finally settled down enough to respond.
“Yes, I guess I have changed some since you last saw me, but I’m Danny’s mother.”
I wouldn’t be surprised if my mouth dropped open at that moment, because I was stunned to discover who she was. My mind was also reeling from the implications of what she was doing here, especially since she had just referred to Cole and Graham’s mother. Ms. Van Cott had also suddenly appeared and caused us a great many problems, so now I was wondering if this was going to be a repeat of that situation.
“I hate to be blunt,” I said, with a slight tremor in my voice, “but what is it you want.”
“As I said, I didn’t come here to cause any problems for Danny or you,” she blurted in response, “but I miss my son. A friend of mine works at the courthouse and she told me what happened, and how that other woman is now able to meet with her sons again. I’d like to be able to do the same thing, but I was hoping we could arrange something on our own.”
Even though I had been afraid this was where she was heading, I now knew for sure. However, the time had come for me to respond. “Mrs. Roma, before I can agree to anything, I’d have to talk this over with Danny. He’s a young man now and about to head off to college, so he’s definitely old enough to make his own choices.”
“Mr. Currie, don’t get me wrong,” she muttered. “I don’t intend to try to take Danny from you, I just want to be able to see and spend time with him. I miss him more than you can imagine and I need to get to know him again.” She hesitated briefly, and I noticed her eyes were moist and her breathing a bit raspy. It was clear this was very difficult for her, so I waited patiently as she regained control of her emotions.
“It was his father who threw him out, not me, but I was forced to go along with that decision. I never agreed with it, and I certainly didn’t like it, but he is my husband. Since that happened, he has changed and mellowed. That’s probably due to the fact that he’s very ill and facing his own mortality, but I don’t think he’d care if I saw our son now. I know he still isn’t ready to accept what Danny is, but I love my son and I’ve missed him so very much. I hope you and Danny will allow me the chance to get reacquainted with him.”
“As I’ve said, Mrs. Roma, I will have to discuss this with Danny. I have no idea how he might react to your suggestion, but my question to you would be, are you going to be able to accept him for who he is? Will you also be able, and willing, to respect the decisions he has made, or might make, about his life?”
“If you’re referring to his being a homosexual,” she said, dryly, “then yes. I think I can handle that now.”
“And what about the young man he has chosen to be his partner?” I pressed.
She hesitated before she answered this time. “It won’t be easy for me,” she acknowledged, “but I think I’ll be able to handle that too.”
“If you are being sincere, then leave me your phone number and I’ll call you when Danny makes up his mind about what he wants to do.”
Mrs. Roma looked flustered after I made my last statement and didn’t immediately respond. After a short, and uncomfortable silence, she finally spoke.
“I’d prefer that none of you call my home just yet, in case my husband answers the phone. I’m not sure how I’d explain to him why you were calling. What if I phoned you instead, to find out if Danny approves of my suggestion?”
“That would be fine,” I agreed, “but give us a few days. I won’t approach him unless he’s alone and in a good mood, and then I suspect he’ll need some time to think it over. I don’t want to rush him into making such an important decision.”
“I agree and will give you the time you need before I call,” she confirmed. “Mr. Currie, thank you very much for listening to me and providing me with this opportunity.”
“There’s nothing definite,” I reiterated, “but I will pass along your request.” We then said our good-byes and she departed, but now I had to wait and talk this over with Danny.
When the boys returned home, they were busy showing me the things they’d picked up, so there wasn’t much of a chance for me to get Danny alone. I didn’t want to ask to speak to him in private, because then Brandon and some of the others would ask him what was up, and I wanted him to have time to consider this without outside interference. If he decided to bring others into the decision process, he’d be able to do that without the pressure of having to include them.
While I was waiting for an appropriate time to do this, the third situation arose. Sally called to inform me that one of her colleagues in a nearby community had brought a situation to her attention. She said as soon as she heard about it she thought of me, so now she wanted to know if I’d be willing to help out. Of course, it concerned another boy.
All she would tell me for the time being is that this kid had announced to his foster family that he was gay and it created an immediate problem. He supposedly did this because he didn’t want to live there any longer and knew his foster parents would want him out of their house and away from their children if they realized he was gay.
Although I agreed to meet him, I told her I couldn’t make any promises. I was willing to see what he was like and let him meet the other boys, so we could learn about each other. Whatever happened after that would depend on the boy and our reactions to him. We would have to feel comfortable with each other, but I think I was silently hoping he wouldn’t fit in. Secretly, I was concerned I had already stretched myself too far with the number of boys I had already taken in and wasn’t convinced I should add more. These doubts were compounded by Brent’s death and the problems created by Ms. Van Cott, and now Mrs. Roma, so I was approaching this from a negative viewpoint.
Sally did get me to commit to giving this a trial run, to see if he would fit in. She would set it up and then call me with the details. I told her that would be fine, but advised her about our other commitments (taking the boys to college, my continued role as acting superintendent, etc.), hoping this wouldn’t give her a window of opportunity. In addition to that, I also told her about Mrs. Roma, which stunned her. I hoped this additional information would cause her to take pity on me, so she would drop this idea for now.
Having just returned from a fun and relaxing vacation, my mind wasn’t ready to deal with so many new developments. Therefore, I took my time and sat down to consider each item separately. That’s why, by the time I got to speak to Danny, about his mother’s re-emergence, I’d had a chance to organize my thoughts and present this to him in a calm, rational manner.
Most of the boys either hadn’t awakened yet or were off doing something else when I saw Danny coming downstairs. I asked him if I could speak with him a moment and he readily agreed.
“What’s up, Dad?” he asked me, with a big smile on his face. I believe he thought this had something to do with his leaving for college in a few days.
“Danny, something has happened recently, and it affects you,” I told him.
“Really? What are you talking about?” he asked, concerned.
Since there was no delicate way to break this news to him, I decided to plow ahead and bring him up to date. “Danny, I had a visitor the other day, while you boys were out. It was your mother and she asked if I thought you might agree to meet with her. She wants to become part of your life again, but I told her that would have to be up to you.”
He looked stunned after he heard this and asked if anyone else knew. When I told him ‘no,’ he asked if he could go get Brandon, so he’d also know what was going on. When I told him that would be entirely up to him, he raced off and soon came back dragging Brandon with him.
“Dad, would you tell Brandon what you just told me?” he asked, and I quickly agreed. After repeating what I had told Danny moments earlier, we gave Brandon a few minutes to digest the news. Then Danny looked at Brandon, before turning toward me, and then he spoke.
“Why now, after all this time.” he wondered. “Why does she suddenly want to become part of my life again?”
“I think it was prompted by the incident with Cole and Graham’s mother,” I informed him. “I think she may have been tempted to try to contact you before that, but once she learned Ms. Van Cott was able to see her sons again, she decided it might be a good time for her to do the same thing.”
“But I still don’t see why she waited so long,” he challenged. “She could have tried to help me after my father threw me out and she’s never tried to see me or say anything before now. Where was she when I needed her the most?” Danny was starting to get very emotional. He was confused, yet angry, which caused Brandon to instinctively put his arm around Danny’s shoulders. He was seeking to comfort his lover, but Danny didn’t seem to notice his gesture.
“I think it was because she was afraid of your father,” I offered, “and she didn’t want to face his wrath. It wasn’t because she didn’t love you or want to help, but I think she felt powerless. She had no money and no place of her own, so she didn’t see how she could assist you/”
“But that doesn’t make any sense to me,” he countered.
“Danny, think about it for a minute,” I advised him. “Your father is very old world and set in his ways. He thinks of himself as king of his castle and master of his domain. He believes his word to be law in his home and everyone living there must obey. Those who don’t are dealt with accordingly. Isn’t that why he threw you out, because you couldn’t conform to his norms and rules?”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Danny conceded.
“And your mother was used to following his rules, no matter how insane she thought them to be. Isn’t that right?” I followed.
“Yes, I guess it is,” he agreed.
“Since she didn’t want him to turn on her physically or throw her out of the house at that point, she merely bit her tongue and let him do as he pleased.”
“So she saved herself and turned her back on me?” he asked, to clarify the matter.
“In a way, but that’s a very simplistic way of looking at it. I think she might have stood up to your father, if she thought you were in danger or might be harmed,” I explained. “However, after you came to live here and she saw you were safe and happy, she just bided her time, hoping that some day the two of you could be reunited.”
“I think I can understand that,” he confirmed, “but how are things different now?” I took a moment to think about how I was going to break the news to him, without making it sound too dramatic.
“Back then, she couldn’t help you, because she couldn’t help herself.” I began, “but she says your father has changed and mellowed.”
“Okay, I guess I can understand that too,” he confirmed, but I interrupted and didn’t allow him to say more.
“Danny, she also said your father is ill and having to consider that he might not be around much longer,” I added. “Dealing with the inevitability that you aren’t going to be around much longer has changed many hard core views throughout history.”
“I’m not sure I feel bad for him though,” Danny told me, “but what do YOU think I should do?”
“Danny, that has to be your decision, not mine,” I advised him. “You may want to take your time and think this over, and you might also want to discuss it with Brandon. When you know what you want to do, just let me know, so I can pass your decision along to your mother.”
“I know this is my decision,” he stated, “but can’t you tell me what you think I should do? I mean, I’ve always trusted your judgment and would really like to know what you think.”
“Would that really make a difference?” I asked.
“Yes, it definitely would,” he quickly confirmed. “I love and trust you and know you wouldn’t tell me to do anything, unless you thought it would be best for me. Knowing what you think would help me decide what to do.”
I merely looked at him and studied his face, looking for a sign of his sincerity. Then I turned toward Brandon and spoke to him next. “What do you think? Should I give him my opinion or just leave you two alone to talk this over?”
“Well, I’d like to talk to Danny about it too,” he admitted, “but I know if it were me, I’d want you to tell me what you thought as well.” I looked at him and studied his face for a minute, and then I smiled and looked toward Danny.
“If you want my opinion, then I shall give it to you,” I agreed. “If I were in your shoes, I think I would give your mother another chance. I think you should take the time to listen to what she has to say and see how you get along. She is still your mother and I know some day you’ll regret not taking this opportunity, if you don’t do so now. Be a man and give her the benefit of the doubt.
“You know what your father was like and that it was his idea to kick you out of the house. He was the one who couldn’t deal with you being gay and she just didn’t have the courage to stand up and defend you. I think she regrets that now, but I have the feeling she never stopped loving you or thinking about you.” I gave him a moment to let this sink in, before I continued.
“Just look at how it’s worked out for Cole and Graham,” I suggested. “I know it was hard for them to accept their mother back into their lives, especially since she had been such a poor mother and neglected them so badly, but I think they’re now beginning to see each other in a new and different light. Now that they’ve had time to allow those old wounds to heal, and seeing they’re willing to keep an open mind about what the future might hold, I think they’re all glad they’re back together. I don’t think Cole or Graham would ever want to go back and live with her again, but I believe they’re glad they took the time to get to know her and to forgive her for her past mistakes. It has also helped them to bury many of their old demons.”
He thought about this for a moment, before he responded. “Yeah, I think you’re probably right,” he agreed. “Okay, I’ll meet with her, but after that I can’t say. That will depend on what she has to say and what she does, as to whether I’ll see her more than just once.”
“That sounds fair,” I replied. “She’s supposed to call me back, to see what you decided, so if she wants to meet with you before you leave this weekend, would that be all right with you?”
“I could do that,” he agreed, “but let her know I want Brandon to be with me the first time. I’m not sure I can handle this by myself. I also want to meet somewhere in public, where there are other people around. I don’t think I’m ready for her to come here to see me yet.”
“Okay, that sounds like a good idea,” I confirmed, “and I don’t think she will object to your demands, just as long as you agree to meet with her.”
“Thanks, Dad,” he added, before giving me a hug. “I’m sure glad I have you to depend on and help me think things through.”
With that said, he and Brandon took off, and I just had to wait for his mother to call, so I could tell her the good news.