Scooter did not show up that night in a hearse. He showed up in the beat up white van that they used to take the floral arrangements from the funeral home to the cemetery. I rode for two hours in a van that had no heat and smelled so strongly of carnations I was very nearly nauseous by the time we got to the club. By the way, for future references that smell lingers in clothing. If I had a dollar for every guy that asked me that night what floral shop I worked in, I would have doubled my total net worth, and that is a considerable amount.
Overall, I was actually very impressed with the show that night. Although Piper's set was a bit of a shock for me and the audience. Piper came out on stage in a low cut sequined gown that was slit up the side literally to the waist. Had I not know it was him, I would have sworn in court that I was looking at a woman. As soon as he walked to the front of the stage he looked out at the audience and grinned. It was that little smirk of his that told me that it really was the Piper that I knew.
"I see my boss and her best friend are both here tonight," he announced. I spun around and saw Janice sitting with Kathryn a few tables over. "If you guys have another fight like you had yesterday, I will sell tickets for the event this time."
I looked at Scooter and said, "I'm out of here." I stood up to leave and saw that Janice was trying to get out of the building too.
"SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN!" We both turned to stare at the stage and saw Piper with his hands on his sequined evening gown covered hips tapping his high heel shoe impatiently on the floor. "When I am at work, I listen to you, Dragon Lady, and if I was on your farm I would listen to you, Samurai Jack, but right now I'm in a club where I am not a queen, I am THE queen. That means when you're here, you will listen to me bitches. I will not have my routine ruined by either of you two. Now you will both come right up here and sit on this stage and we will settle your problem once and for all." Both of us started to say something, but Piper stopped us with the classic line and accompanying movement. "Talk to the hand! Better yet just shut up. I think both of you have already said enough. I'll do the talking here. What are you waiting for? Get up here now."
Janice and I walked up to the front of the club avoiding looking at each other. We sat in the two chairs that someone had put there for us. We continued to look anywhere but at each other.
"Look at the two of you," Piper announced. "I swear if I didn't know better, I would think you were a junior high straight couple." The audience laughed at this as Janice and I both glared at Piper. "Don't give me that look. Cameron, how long have you two known each other?"
"Well we met…."
"Just the facts, moneybags, how long ago did you meet the dragon lady?"
"When we were in high school, and I'm not admitting the year," I said. There were some laughs from the audience at that too. Piper made an obvious show of looking closely at my hair. "No there is no gray up there," I told him louder than I meant to as the crowd snickered again.
"Sorry, just looking for the tiara, sweetie," Piper announced to the audience who all laughed out loud this time. "Next question is for you, boss. How did you meet Cameron?"
"He saved my life," she mumbled.
"Little louder please," Piper prompted. Janice repeated it loud enough for the audience to hear.
"For those of you that might not know the story," Piper announced, "Cameron interrupted a robbery in progress, saving the lives of Janice here and their friend and mine, Scooter. Scooter's father had already been murdered by the two bad guys. Samurai Jack here saved the day, but took a knife to his I am told very sexy tummy in the process. He nearly died from the wound." He turned back to face us and asked, "You've both lost the person you loved the most in the world. Do you really think you can afford to lose each other too?"
I finally looked into Janice's face and saw the same pain I had seen reflected back at me from my mirror ever since Edan died. In unison we broke into sobs and fell into each other's arms. We remembered where we were and quickly wrestled our emotions back under control. Piper stood looking at us for a moment before speaking again.
"All better now?" We both nodded. "Friends again?" This time we both shook our heads negatively.
"We're family," I said firmly. Janice squeezed my hand. I yanked it away from her and yelled, "OW!"
"You know for a samurai, you're a wuss," she laughed.
"Yeah, and for a Dragon Lady, you're an old softy," I countered.
"Fairy," she snorted.
"Dyke," I replied.
"You know it," we both said in unison, and then we and the audience fell apart laughing.
"Ok you hams, stop stealing my show," Piper ordered. "Get off my stage."
"Yes, ma'am," Janice and I both stated and saluted.
"Bite me bitches," Piper retorted while sticking his tongue out at us.
Janice and I got off the stage and found that Scooter had joined Kathryn at her table, so we all four sat together and watched the show. I was astounded to realize that Piper did not lip synch, like some of the other performers that night. Every song Piper did on stage, he was actually singing. I was reminded of a video I had seen once of RuPaul. The show was sensational and we all had a wonderful time. When it finally ended, Janice and I hugged each other and I promised twelve batches of cookies to apologize for my stupidity, and she accepted gladly. After a glare at us both from Kathryn, we each apologized to her as well.
I suddenly remembered at that point something that Piper had said earlier. I had already learned that he was riding back home with Scooter and I would be tagging along with Kathryn and Janice since the flower truck only had two seats. I turned to face Piper and asked him directly, "Who told you I have a very sexy tummy?"
"Wow, look at the time," Scooter announced suddenly. "I have to get this wagon back to the funeral home for an early service tomorrow. See you guys later." He grabbed Piper and dragged him to the van quickly.
"Well that was no surprise," Janice told me as she got into Kathryn's car.
"What do you mean?" I asked as I got into the back seat.
"Is he really that blonde?" Kathryn asked Janice.
"I didn't think so until now," Janice answered.
"Hey, you two can talk about me like I'm not here when I'm really not," I protested. "What do you mean it was no surprise? What was no surprise?"
"Scooter is going to kill me, but he has to know that you are close to figuring this out by now," Janice mumbled.
"I don't know about that," Kathryn told her. "If he knows that brainless back there is this blonde, he may be counting on him not figuring it out."
"EXCUSE ME!" I yelled. "I am here you know. I can hear you."
"Scooter is in love with you, you idiot," Janice blurted. "He has been ever since we were in high school. You never saw it then, and you still don't."
"What?" I gasped. "No, he can't be. High school was just hero worship. That's what this is now, I'm sure. He…. Well, he must…. Oh my god…. Janice what do I do?"
"You do whatever you have to do that doesn't hurt him," Janice replied. "Don't string him along if there is no chance for the two of you. If you aren't interested in him let him know. Think long and hard about it first though. I know you used to fantasize about him though."
"WHAT?" I yelled out.
"Remember our senior year when you fell asleep while studying for our finals?" Janice asked me. I nodded, vaguely recalling the night in question. "You talk in your sleep. You were saying his name over and over."
"So I had a dream about him," I defended. "That doesn't mean….." My voice trailed off as I faced the fact that I had often had erotic dreams about Scooter at that age. "Janice… what do I do?"
"You live a very happy life with someone who loves you very much," she answered.
"I'm not sure I'm ready for another relationship like that," I mused aloud. "I'm still in love with Edan."
"I would hope you will always be in love with Edan," Janice told me. "Just like I will always be in love with Beth." I couldn't help looking at Kathryn's face and I saw the momentary flash of pain. She hid it well, but I had seen it and so had Janice. "That doesn't mean that we can't fall in love with someone else. No one can ever take their place in our hearts, but other people come into our lives that help fill the hole that was left in us when they died."
I leaned forward and put my hand on Kathryn's shoulder. "I'll make a deal with you, Doc," I offered. "I will try to never hurt my dyke sister again, if you make the same promise."
"I am a doctor, I never cause pain," Kathryn said quickly.
"I'm not as blind as he is," Janice told Kathryn. "I know when someone is mooning over me."
"I am not mooning over you, or anyone else," Kathryn huffed. "I am merely concerned for a patient. My personal feelings are just that, personal."
"Kathryn, I understand not wanting to admit you even know her at times," I said with a grin. I ignored the exaggerated sound of shock from Janice and continued. "She can be the most difficult person in the world to be around at times." At this point, Janice attempted to slap my shoulder, but I easily blocked her. "But even as blonde and blind as you two claim I am, I can see how you feel about her. She is the best friend a person can have and if Beth was truthful, as sickening as the thought is to a gay guy, she is incredible in bed." I was treated at this point to a sight that I had never witnessed in my life. Janice was not only speechless, but she was blushing as well. "Tell her how you feel, and decide together where you want to go from here. Just do it when I'm out of the car. I don't want to puke on your upholstery."
"Wuss!" Janice and Kathryn said in unison.
"The rest of me may be a strong seasoned warrior of the ancient traditions, but my stomach is the weak organ of a gay man," I retorted. "I do not want to hear about your intimacies." We all laughed, and then shared a very peaceful and comfortable silence among close friends until we reached the farmhouse. I got out and went in to find all of my boys sitting in the living room waiting.
"Why are you all not in bed?" I asked the older ones.
"Ask them," three voices said as they pointed to the two babies playing happily on the floor.
"We've put them to bed three times already Dad," Derek whined.
"They won't go to sleep," Ephraim added with a yawn. "Was that Aunt Kathryn's car?"
"Aunt Kathryn?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. Ephraim stuttered a bit trying to explain his way out of what he had just said, but I cut him off. "It's fine with me to call her that, if it's fine with her. I think it will be appropriate soon enough anyway."
"Janice and Kathryn?" Derek grinned. "That's so cool. Aunt Janice deserves to be happy again."
"So do you, Big Bro," Brendan said pointedly. "I thought you rode with Scooter."
"Scooter gave Piper a ride home and there are only two seats in the flower van," I explained.
"You went out on a date with Scooter in the flower van from the funeral home?" Derek asked incredulously.
"It wasn't a date," I corrected him quickly with a nervous look at Ephraim. He had his nose wrinkled but he was grinning.
"That explains why he smells like a flower shop exploded on him," the boy giggled.
"I think he smells nice," Derek defended me. At the look he got from Brendan, Derek shrugged and said, "I like carnations."
"You are weird," Brendan teased.
"But you love me," Derek grinned back.
"With all my heart, kitten," Brendan said with a happy sigh as he leaned in and kissed his boyfriend on the lips.
"Kitten?" I questioned. Derek blushed from head to toe and so did Brendan.
"Derek purrs like a cat when Brendan…." Ephraim started to say, but was silenced when he was tackled by his big brothers.
"I understand," I told the three of them. "No more info needed, trust me," I added.
"Well you do," Ephraim said to Derek when he finally got their hands off his mouth.
"Does that mean we can talk about what makes you squeal like a girl?" Brendan asked him directly. This time it was Ephraim that blushed to near spontaneous combustion. "That's what I thought. We keep your secrets, you keep ours."
"Deal," Ephraim agreed.
"Ok, boys, you head for bed and I will take care of the little ones," I told them.
"But we want to hear about your date," Ephraim countered.
"It wasn't a date," I blurted before realizing who had spoken. I looked into Ephraim's face questioning him silently.
"You said that you would only date guys that we approve of, didn't you?" Ephraim asked directly. When I agreed, he continued. "Well, we all talked it over tonight. We like Scooter, all of us do."
As if on cue, Caine babbled, "Scoot scoot."
"See, Dad, even the babies like him," Ephraim giggled.
"We know that if you want to date someone that doesn't mean that you are forgetting Pop," Derek added. "It just means that you are moving on with your life and being happy."
"You have made all of us so happy, Cameron," Brendan told me. "We want you to be happy as well. We know that Edan made you happy, but he is gone now. We all miss him very much, but life has to go on."
"Boys, I know that life goes on," I began. "I'm not sure I'm ready to take that step yet, though. I need to talk things over with Scooter as well. We have to be clear on where we are and where we want to go."
"Dad, did you and Pop plan to have a houseful of boys the day you met?" Ephraim asked directly.
"Well, no," I admitted.
"We also know that you didn't plan to lose him when you did," Brendan added. I wiped a tear at this point and the three older boys all gathered me into a group hug.
"Okay, guys," I conceded. "I will be talking to Scooter as soon as I can."
"All right!" the boys cheered. Ephraim tried to be subtle about pushing the phone onto the couch beside me as he and the older two kissed my cheeks goodnight. They went upstairs and I sat staring at my two youngest sons. I heard a loud stage whisper from somewhere upstairs. "No, he's not on the phone yet."
"I'm not going to call while you are listening on the extension," I called out.
"Would we do such a thing?" Brendan called down innocently, then snapped, "Hang up that phone, Ephraim."
"ME?" Ephraim squeaked loudly. "Derek's the one listening."
"I am not," Derek returned and I heard the phone in the upstairs hall hang up quickly.
Well there we go. Everyone is all better now and we can see a future ahead that is a little brighter than it looked for a while. I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, but offline life has been a nasty b word for a while now. It is starting to calm down now though.
Hope you all enjoyed the new chapter and keep your eyes open for updates on some of my other work soon.
Laissez les bon temps roullez!
Boudreaux