As it worked out, the next day was Danny’s seventeenth birthday party. Although I had made plans with him in advance, the day still seemed to sneak up on us, so now I worked hard to make sure everything was ready for his big day. It seems like only yesterday when Sally brought over a confused and lonely young man who had been tossed out of his home by his father for doing nothing more than being who he was. He had lived on his own for a few days, before being discovered by the authorities and delivered to my home, becoming the second of my new sons.
When Danny and I had discussed what he wanted to do for his big day, he quickly announced that he only wanted our family at his party, which of course included Aunt Sally, Aunt Mary, Uncle Steve, the Curtises (Jay’s parents) and the Spences. I think he was disappointed Brandon’s parents couldn’t make it, since they now lived in Texas, because they was growing very close to each other and Danny was very fond of them.
Since Danny had requested a barbecue, I happily got everything ready so I could prepare the meal outside, but we ended up eating the food indoors. Unfortunately, it was very windy out and also quite cool, so we elected to make the best of an imperfect situation. After we ate, we sat around and talked for a while, enjoying each other’s company. About an hour after we’d finished our meal, Danny announced he had something he’d like to say.
“I know some of you are aware of this already, but the rest of you may be shocked by what I am about to say. However, I think it’s finally time to clear the air. After thinking about it very carefully and talking it over with Brandon, we want you all to know that he and I are gay. Not only that, but we intend on being lifelong partners.”
There was a tentative hush, as those of us who previously knew this fact considered the ramifications of what they were doing, while the other adults looked at each other and then back at the boys. Most of those gathered were already sporting smiles of approval and I suspect some of them may have even figured this out for themselves long before Danny broke the news. I believe that might also have been the reason this revelation hadn’t shocked anyone or drawn any animated or adverse reactions, which seemed to surprise both Danny and Brandon.
As the boys waited for the other shoe to drop, Sally soon broke the uneasy silence that followed. She chose her words carefully and then proceeded to explained to everyone gathered about my grand aspirations, when I first decided to take in foster children. She said that although I had offered to take in any child in need of a helping hand, I felt my greatest impact would be with gay youth, who were often treated like lepers and outcast from the rest of society. She continued by informing everyone that my hope was to help the gay youth adjust to his orientation and find a way to fit into society as easily and seamlessly as possible.
As she spoke, I glanced around and noticed a few nods of understanding from both my friends and my sons, as they digested Sally’s revelation. Although Sally admitted she hadn’t shared this information with anyone before, mainly because I didn’t want anyone to perceive us differently due to this information, she did inform the boys that the other adults had their suspicions about some of them and had discussed this possibility amongst themselves at various time. However, she went on to explain that even though they might have had their suspicions about their sexual orientation, none of them really cared about such minutia and loved each of them unconditionally. To them, all that mattered was the boys were wonderful, intelligent and caring young men who would be a great asset to society and future generations. She concluded by saying that every adult there was more than willing to continue to love and support the boys as they always had, regardless of what announcements any of them made in the future.
When Sally finished speaking, Steve and Mary added their own words of support, telling the boys they’d never change their opinions of them because of whom they loved and hoped every one of them, gay or straight, would be happy with their situation, partners and lives. The boys did look apprehensively at the Spences, since they weren’t sure how they might react, since older people were generally less accepting of non-traditional sexual orientations than the younger members of society. However, they were soon relieved when Mrs. Spence spoke up.
“This really doesn’t come as a big surprise to us,” she announced, while looking around at all the boys expectant faces. “John and I have both noticed how the two of you look at each other and how you act when you’re together, so we kind of guessed the rest. Although we weren’t brought up around such things, we would never allow such knowledge to affect how we feel about you. You are as much a part of our family as we are a part of yours, and John and I are happy for both of you, since you obviously love each other very much. Just take good care of each other and have a long life together, such as John and I have been able to share, and always find comfort in knowing your family will always be here to support you. That goes for the rest of you too,” she added, before sitting down, to let the other boys now they had no reason to hide such important information from any of us.
After hearing her little speech, both boys dashed over and hugged their surrogate grandparents, while thanking them for being so open-minded and supportive. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house as we had listened to Margaret speak or observed the reaction that followed. Even Andrew understood the significance of what had just taken place and beamed with the knowledge that those closest to him wouldn’t judge him because of such things as whom he loved or that he was a different race than them.
After the boys and the Spences finished their hugs, Mary broke the silence that followed and asked the question that was foremost on her mind. Although their orientation didn’t bother her, she was confused about the timing of this announcement. She wanted to know why Danny and Brandon had decided to come out now, instead of waiting until they left for college or even after they graduated from college and were on their own. Danny quickly answered this for her.
“Well, we’re not going to tell our friends until the last week of school, but we felt we should do it now, because of the Boy Scout thing. We hoped our coming out might help others who might also be gay. We only have one more year before graduating from high school, and we thought everyone would talk the topic out over the summer, so it would be old news by the time we went back to school for our senior year. We figured we’d have enough to do to keep us busy then, and we could put up with whatever problems the others might give us. Brandon and I are boyfriends, and we plan on being together always. We’ve both been accepted to a couple of colleges, and since we applied to the same ones, there’s a good chance we’ll be together for another four years. I’m really glad none of you are upset about this, because I think both Brand and I were worried about how you were going to react.”
Everyone assured them the news didn’t change their minds about them and they’d always be there for them. I think this took a big burden off both of their shoulders.
Once the adults had their say, their brothers were quick to inform them that they’d support and defend them too, if need be. “Don’t worry, guys,” Frankie announced, “if anyone hassles either of you between the time you make your announcement and the time I leave for college, they’ll have to answer to me about what they say or do.”
“And that goes for me too,” Dustin added. “We’ll protect you even better than we did Shannon, when the scouts ganged up on him.”
We all had a little chuckle over that, and then Brandon and Danny thanked everyone again for their support. They told them they had all kind of hoped for this type of response, but it was still nice to know it was what actually happened. With that behind us, we went ahead and had cake and ice cream, while Danny opened his presents. All in all, it was a very nice party.
Just before she left, Sally said she had something to tell us too. “I almost forget this, with Danny and Brandon’s announcement and all, but I heard from the Beckers and they’ve told Richard they’d like to adopt him, if he wanted them to. Of course, Richard was thrilled and accepted immediately. So this makes Richard and the Beckers our first charity-assisted adoption.”
“Yes,” Steve added, “and a lawyer friend of mine is handling the legal work for them, pro bono of course, and their case should be on the docket by early June.” We were all pleased by this great revelation, so I felt it was the perfect time to make my announcement too.
“Well, I might as well tell the rest of you my news too, then,” I began. “I’ve been working with my lawyer and I’ll be legally adopting Frankie and Brent soon, if they agree to it.” Both boys looked shocked, but then began nodding their heads eagerly, so there would be no mistake they agreed. “If Steve can pull a few stings for us, maybe we can have our adoptions formalized at the same time as Richard’s.”
“That’s a splendid idea,” Steve shot back. “I’ll see what I can do and I’m almost positive the same judge that stood in for me on your last round of adoptions will also be the one to handle these. He’s a really nice guy and was quite impressed with all of you the last time he was here. I’m really glad you made that suggestion, Josh, because it will make both events even more special.”
“Hey, I’m beginning to feel left out,” Nick announced.
“Me too,” Brandon added. “We’re the only two who live here that aren’t really family now.”
I went over and gave both of them a hug. “What do you mean you’re not family?” I challenged. “You have been and always will be considered my sons too, even if it isn’t done legally. However, I want both of you to consider yourselves lucky that you have wonderful and supportive parents who love you… almost as much as I do,” I teased. “No matter what, you’ll also always have a home with us, so don’t ever worry about that. Besides, Brandon,” I added, a bit playfully, “it looks as if you will become my son-in-law one day soon.”
Everyone laughed at that comment, while Brandon acknowledged it was true, and then he thanked me for letting him stay with us after his parents moved. I told him it was my pleasure, and then each gave me a hug of appreciation. While this was going on, Frankie and Brent joined in, making it a group hug.
“Thanks, Dad,” Frankie told me. “I know I don’t really deserve any of this, but it is what I’ve been secretly hoping for. I thought it was a bit much to expect and knew I didn’t deserve it, after all of the terrible things I did when I first came here.”
“What do you mean, you don’t deserve this?” I asked him. “Sure we had some problems at one point, but that’s behind us now and all has been forgiven. You are a fine son and I’m proud to have you as a part of my family.” Then I did something I had never done to Frankie before, but felt the time was right. I leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. He looked up at me, with a shocked expression on his face and tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Suddenly he lifted up his arms, threw them around my neck and shoulders, and gave me the most powerful hug he was capable of. When he finally broke it, he kissed me on the cheek and thanked me again, and I could tell this had been a very emotional catharsis for him. However, it wasn’t over yet, as Frankie began to address his brothers.
“I know I’ve been pretty hardheaded in the past and done some pretty stupid things, like throwing that party and stealing from you guys, but you’ve always given me a chance to prove myself to you, even if I didn’t deserve it,” he told them, before turning toward me again. “Sometimes I didn’t think you liked me as much as the others, because you were never as affectionate with me as you were with the younger ones. I know now it was probably because I always tried to act so tough and that probably made you think I didn’t want that kind of attention, but I’m not really as tough as I tried to make everyone believe. I always wished I could think of a way to let you know how much I appreciated what you were doing for me, but even more I wanted to figure out how to let you know I really loved you. That kiss meant an awful lot to me and now I know you DO love me as much as the others. Thanks, Dad.”
Frankie hugged me again, and when I looked up at the others, I saw teary eyes and tear streaked faces among those watching us. As many times as I’d worried how Frankie would respond if I’d made an affectionate slip like that, I’d belatedly discovered he was just a scared little boy who cloaked himself in tough guy persona, just to keep from getting hurt. No matter how much bravado he could muster, I now understood he wanted AND needed my affection, maybe even more than the others.
When Frankie finally released me again, I felt another pair of arms around my waist, so I looked down to see who was there. It was Brent. When he eventually lifted his head up and looked in my direction, he flashed me a huge grin. “I really want to thank you too, Pop,” he added, “but does this mean I can now start calling you Dad?”
“That’s up to you, Brent,” I told him. “You may call me Dad or you may still call me Pop. The choice is yours, but I won’t love you any less either way.”
“Well, if you’re going to be my dad and these guys are going to be my brothers, then I’m going to start calling you Dad,” he announced, gleefully.
Once all of the commotion finally started to die down, we received congratulations from each of the others who were there. My boys told me that they knew I was going to do it, they just didn’t know for sure when, but they thought it was a good idea to do it when Richard got adopted too, so they could see him get his family. Everyone seemed satisfied, so now all we had to do was learn the date this would take place.
The euphoria from that day lasted well after the party and the next couple of weeks were filled with many other activities that enriched our lives. During that time, Sammy got his chance to have some fun with Brent and excitedly repeated the lessons he had learned from Nick. After they had their time together, Sammy came to thank me for allowing him to participate with the others and explained how wonderful it had been. I just smiled and told him he was welcome, but he was to come see me whenever he had any questions or concerns and not let them build up until he was ready to explode. I also explained that I’d also schedule some time alone with him, so I could fill him in on some of the things I had already told his brothers, concerning their activities. He said he’d like that and it was nice to see I had my happy-go-lucky Sammy back again.
The following week, the boys began preparing for their final tests and the end of the school year. It was also a very busy time for me, as I tried to keep my students under control and prevent them from getting too carried away with the special year-end activities. It’s easy for them to act as if school was out a week or two before it actually happened, especially for the eighth graders who were spending their final days at the middle school, so the faculty and I worked hard to keep them busy and in check.
In addition to everything else, I was also conducting driving lessons for Frankie and Kevin and making sure they were getting in plenty of practice time in. Even though their six months wouldn’t be up until September, I wanted to make sure they got in as much driving time as we could arrange, so they’d be ready for their big day. It was actually a bit easier for me this time, as I just followed the lessons I’d planned for the other group, and I was also feeling more at ease in my role as driving instructor. Either because of or despite those facts, both boys were doing quite well adapting behind the wheel and I wasn’t worried about either passing his test. Frankie was already fairly accomplished behind the wheel, due to his time illegally on the road, and Kevin would be taking Drivers Education class in the fall, to reinforce what I taught him up to that point.
We also had a great deal going on with the Boy Scout issue during this period, which took up even more of my free time. The United Way had finally acknowledged that those contributors who withheld their final payroll contributions had hurt them quite badly and we projected there would be a minimum of a 40% drop in contributions in their next drive, but it could go as high as 55 or 60%, if things didn’t change. That meant the United Way was also getting nervous about their future and working feverishly to stem the tide of the backlash against them, without having to sever their funding of the Boy Scouts. Although they suggested contributors could mark their donations to indicate their money couldn’t be used for certain organizations, we knew this was a meaningless gesture, as the funding amounts to the various organizations wouldn’t change in the end. I think we had found their Achilles heel – their bank accounts.
Although my boys had not been extremely active in the Scouts, many had been members at one time or another, mostly before they had come to live with me. Now they asked me to help them find a way to make a statement to show how they felt, something that would be significant and not just a meaningless gesture. After discussing this at a meeting or two with our committee, we came upon an idea they liked and one that we felt would have a significant impact. My boys, along with several other young men who felt just as strongly about this issue, were going to go to the local Boy Scout headquarters and turn in their merit badges and other awards they had earned over the years. Not only that, but I’d arrange for several newspapers, and the national magazines that had published the articles on our family and the charity, to also cover this protest. They agreed, so we made it a media event.
Several pictures of the boys turning those items in appeared in the local papers, and were later published in the magazines, which spread our concerns beyond the boundaries of our small community. Before long, six adjoining counties had similar movements going, and the Boy Scouts were beginning to feel the pinch from continuing their bigoted policies. During the final school board meeting, the board approved a resolution restricting the Scouts from using any school facilities for their meetings, activities, fund-raisers or other social events, until their policies fell in line with the ones the district supported.
If that weren’t enough, some of the more liberal churches in the area also limited their support and denied the Scouts access to their facilities, so now the Scouts were even hurting for anyplace they could use for their meetings and other activities, other than their Scout leaders’ homes. Now that the money was drying up and the welcome mats were disappearing, we were bringing our point home, at least locally.
The next big event on our calendar was Pat’s eye appointment, but unfortunately it got moved back a week because of an emergency that came up. That situation required the personal and immediate attention of Doctor Bailey, the renowned ophthalmologist who we were lucky to be able to see, but in the long run the change worked to our advantage. Pat’s appointment was on Friday and Mark was scheduled to fly in the following day, so now I wouldn’t have to make trips on consecutive weekends.
Finally, the big day came and we set off for his office in Philadelphia. As we started out, I know I was praying, and I suspect Pat was too, that Doctor Bailey might be able to find some way to help him. The ride turned out to be very relaxing, as it was just the two of us this time, and Pat talked about everything that came into his mind, except what might happen at his appointment. I guess he was just too nervous to think about such possibilities and tried to distract himself by talking about everything else that was going on. By the time we reached the office, Pat was just about talked out anyway.
I led Pat to the reception area using the same technique we had followed everywhere else we went together. I would walk along, with him holding my arm, and I’d tell him about anything out of the ordinary in our path. Pat once told me he really appreciated how we had done this, because he never felt like a blind kid when we went out, just a guy going somewhere with his father. I understood the full implications of what he was telling me and that simple comment was more valuable than a pile of gold.
Anyway, we went into the doctor’s waiting area, where I filled out the typical first visit paperwork, and then we waited to see our potential miracle worker. It really wasn’t very long before we were being led down a hallway, directed into an examination room and told the doctor would be with us shortly. Pat was visibly more nervous now, realizing he was near a final determination of what fate held in store for him, but I reminded him that he’d be no worse off than we already assumed. He thought about my comment for a minute, while running all the possibilities over in his mind. Finally, he turned his head in my direction, took a deep breath and smiled.
“I guess you’re right. It can’t get any worse than always being blind,” he agreed. “I guess whatever the doctor tells us will be no worse, but possibly better than what we’ve already heard.” After confiding that, he calmed down and waited quietly next to me until Doctor Bailey arrived.
The doctor was a very friendly and easy-going man, who quickly informed us he had talked with the director of the school for the blind and learned how much our organization was willing to do for the students there. He thanked us for all we had already done, as well as what we were still planning to do for those children, before he told Pat he hoped he could be as much help to him, as Pat had been to the school.
Pat played it cool and didn’t get too excited about the doctor’s comment. Instead, he told Doctor Bailey he felt very fortunate to belong to a loving and supportive family and then added he was pleased we were in a position to help those less fortunate than ourselves. He informed the doctor that although he was hopeful his sight might be restored, he wouldn’t be disappointed or upset if he found out it wasn’t possible. Doctor Bailey told him that was a very mature attitude to take, but promised he’d do whatever he could to give him at least some sight back.
The examination was very thorough and took quite a few minutes to complete. The doctor examined every square millimeter of Pat’s eyelids and the skin surrounding his eyes, before examining they eyeballs extensively as well. Once that had been completed, the doctor asked Pat to perform several small tasks, like looking up or to one side or the other, and then asked Pat a series of questions about the types of things he’d experienced since the accident. After evaluating what he had seen, the doctor looked at us and gave us his prognosis.
“I understand why your doctor told you what he did, because your eyes took quite a beating from the acid. I’m afraid there isn’t any hope for the right eye, as that one was the most severely damaged in the accident, but I also agree with what your other doctor told you about your left eye too. You may have some limited vision in that eye in the future, but I’ve noticed a few things I think your other doctor either failed to notice or interpreted incorrectly. I also believe I’ve noticed something he missed altogether. In looking at your left eye, I’ve observed the damage is minimal in certain areas, while more severe in others. Due to the fact that most of the eye received minimal damage, I’ve concluded we could replace your cornea, which was the most severely effected region, and possibly restore nearly full vision to it. The corneal transplant is not a guarantee, but you won’t be any worse off if we give it a try.”
Pat began to beam after hearing this encouraging news, but he was still too nervous to ask the doctor questions about the procedure. I suspected he was worried the doctor’s answers would indicate the news wasn’t as encouraging as he first hoped. Finally, I took the initiative and posed some questions of my own, hoping it might answer the questions Pat was too timid to pose and reinforce the glimmer of hope he was clinging to. “Doctor Bailey, when you said you might be able to restore Pat’s vision, did you mean back to 20/20?”
“I’m not sure if I can restore it to what he had before the accident and it may be something a bit less than that, but if I’m successful, your son will be much better off after the operation, than without it. I’d even go as far to say that however much vision we could restore could be improved even more with corrective lenses, so Pat would be able to lead a normal and productive life and wouldn’t have to depend on others for any form of assistance.”
“Fair enough,” I replied. “So, how soon do you think it might be before you could perform this miracle?”
Dr. Bailey flashed me a strange look, but then answered. “I’d have to check on the availability of a suitable cornea, but I would guess we could most likely be set to go ahead with it in a month or so.”
“Really? That quickly, huh?” I was quite surprised. “I thought it would take a bit longer than that.”
“We’re not doing a complete eye transplant, just the cornea,” he told me. “That means we have a few more options available to us, so it’s not as complicated or difficult to prepare for.”
“That’s terrific,” I agreed. “We’d be pleased if you could set up the procedure as soon as it’s convenient for you. All you’ll need to do is let us know when we should return. I’ll have Pat here the minute you’re ready for him.”
The doctor smiled and assured us he would, so we both thanked him and left. As we made our way back to the car, I realized Pat was somewhat giddy from the news that he might get his vision back, at least in one eye. Once we got in the car, he began to talk excitedly. “Do you think it will really happen, Dad? Do you really think I’ll be able to see again, at least a little?”
“Pat, he’s one of the best doctors in his field,” I assured him. “If he says it’s possible, then I’d bet the farm on it.”
“What do you mean by that, Dad?” Pat asked, hearing a colloquialism he was unfamiliar with. Knowing he didn’t understand what I meant not only made me feel badly, but it also made me feel old.
“It means I believe so strongly about what he told us that I’d even be willing to bet all of my money on it,” I explained. After telling him that, I just looked in his direction, realizing our generations had much different ways of saying and interpreting things. After a few minutes of silence, Pat spoke again.
“You know, Dad, we should also do something to let people know how important organ donations are,” he urged. “I never thought about it until now, and not just because of my eyes, but what if someone needed a heart, lungs, kidney or liver? There’re a lot of things that could be donated, and I bet most people never thought about doing anything like that. I know I didn’t.”
“You’re probably right, Pat, so we should try to see if we can do something to change that situation,” I agreed. “Maybe we could talk some other groups into helping us promote organ donor awareness and then try to get people to sign organ donor cards. I think you’ve come up with another wonderful idea, and once again it’s something that will benefit others. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve just opened one more window for others in need.”
I could see him smile after I told him that, but he didn’t say anything else, knowing we both understood what was meant by that last exchange. I truly believed God has been using him for some valuable purposes, turning his tragedy into triumphs for others and using Pat to restore hope to those with little left. I’m glad he feels the same way about what happened to him and is using his strength to positively affect the situation, rather than mope around and feel sorry for himself.