We stood looking out the window for a while with his cheek against mine. I finally built up the courage and turned my head to kiss his cheek, but he had been thinking the same thing and our lips met in a rather clumsy kiss; it was still heaven to me. It was obvious to me then that Peter was not the best friend I was looking for, he was more than that. Ray was going to have his hands full with me.
"Did you and Cam ever do that?"
"Not on the lips but we kissed each other's cheeks and hugged a lot. I don't know where it would have gone if he had stayed around."
"Devon and I did a lot of kissing, he was more than my best friend, he was my lover."
"I loved Cam too, but not the way I think you mean."
"When I left Devon we had worked out a code so he could send me a message in an email without anybody else being able to read it. One day he sent me a message that meant he met a boy that he could be happy with. It was weird but I was happy for him and sad for me."
"I can understand that, Cam met somebody who he liked right away and he told me. I felt the same way you did, I think."
I was sitting with my back against the wall with Peter sitting between my legs.
"I made friends when I got here but it wasn't the same. Nice guys you know, but they weren't Devon. I fooled around a bit with a couple guys but they were still in the ‘just looking and touching' stage."
"Cam and I never got around to that. I think he wanted to, but he couldn't ask for some reason and I couldn't push him. I showed him I was willing but he never made a move. It's probably better that way; if I had been really in love with him I don't know, I don't think I would have survived."
"Have you ever done anything with another guy?"
"Um yeah, last night I had two boys over to watch them. I've known them a long time and we got in the shower together."
I told him what Benji had done and that he had done it twice, and how I felt bad after because he's two years younger than me."
"That's just sex play, I know because I asked Uncle Ray and three or four years difference is what they generally go by. Unless you use force or intimidation, because that's abuse regardless if you're the same age."
"I'm almost twelve, in fact two weeks from now I will be. How about you?"
"January eighteenth I'll be twelve."
"So you got stuck in the same deal I did. Now we have to go to class with a bunch of kids who are almost a year younger. You know they changed that in California the year after we started school. Now you just have to turn five before the end of school to start kindergarten."
"They're so stupid; whoever makes those rules needs a kick in the balls."
"I know," I said and I hugged him a little tighter.
"That was a cool story you told about Benji and Bobby. Are you okay with it now?"
"I think so, I didn't ask him to do it and even the second time I just said yes when he wanted to do it again."
"Was it good?"
"Unbelieveable."
"Would you let me do it?"
"I don't know, would you let me?"
"Sure."
"Then yeah, I would."
He turned his face towards me and we kissed, this time like we meant to, and it wasn't clumsy at all. It was sweet and warm and I felt my insides getting warm.
We talked about Halloween coming soon and whether we would trick or treat or just go to a party.
"I didn't go door to door last year, we had this place all tricked out as a haunted mansion and I was one of the ghouls. I laid under a pile of Styrofoam rocks and Dad gave me an earpiece so he could tell me when someone was close and I would grab their leg or just sit up. One girl completely freaked out and dropped her bag and ran. Her brother thought it was hilarious. She was like fifteen and she left her little brother to the ghouls."
Peter was laughing really hard but when he could talk he said, "I have to get in on that."
"We can ask my dad; he turns into a big kid at Halloween. He even does my make-up. He mentioned zombies as the theme for this year."
I told him about some of the better stories from past Halloweens. One year Cam stood out front wearing street clothes with make-up to make him look really pale. Dad put up a split awning of black mesh. People would ask him why he wasn't in costume and he would tell them his mom wouldn't let him. Then I would trigger the smoke machine and he would rise up and disappear through the awning after he told them she was calling him. He was wearing a harness and his Dad was pulling him up.
"It was so hilarious the reactions we got. He would look sad and say ‘I gotta go, Mom's calling me,' and then bye-bye."
"It sounds like fun; I hope I can get into that with you."
"I don't see why not. We can ask Dad at dinner."
It was quiet for a while and then Peter asked, "Do you know why I started seeing my Uncle as a patient?"
"You said it was because your Grampa died and you were close."
"That was part of it, Grampa Ed was my favorite person in the world. Dad and Mom were always busy with the twins and my sister's gymnastics. He told me to call him Ed when it was just us. He made me feel important and he taught me to do stuff. He could rope and ride and he taught me how. And he taught me to shoot rifles. Real cowboy Winchesters; I'm a pretty good shot. I had just told him I liked boys and not girls and he said it was fine. We talked about it a lot and he told me there was nothing wrong with it and it didn't matter because it wasn't something I could change."
"He sounds cool."
"He was, but two weeks later he was gone and I kind of fell apart. Dad really didn't understand. I told him it was Grampa that cared about me even if he didn't. I felt like the only man in my life that cared had left me and I was alone."
I hugged him tighter but didn't say anything, I just let him talk.
"Uncle Ray was able to get us seeing eye-to-eye again, but it took a lot. Dad said he didn't even realize he was neglecting me. We have a night out now just him and me and we do something even if we just go up and stargaze, we spend time together. I haven't been able to tell him I'm gay yet but I'm getting ready. I guess we'll see what happens then. I never hear him talking bad about gay people and I know he voted in favor of gay marriage. But I don't know how he'll feel about his own son being gay."
I kissed his temple and kept hugging him. I wondered what my own Dad would say.
"I just wanted you to know that I'm not an axe murderer or something. And you told me your biggest secret so there it is."
We enjoyed the long shadows as the last of the sunlight faded into night.
Dinner was lively and Dad was full of ideas for a great haunted house, we would retain some of our favorites and maybe recruit some other kids to take part in the haunting. He suggested half a dozen zombies rising from Styrofoam crypts and graves and seeking brains within the confines of our huge front yard. It was coming up soon and he had some of the preparations already completed. There were college kids that were students of Mom's that were willing to help by doing make-up and costuming. Peter hoped that his Dad might take part and we agreed that it would be cool if he did.
We all watched a movie together and then I said our good nights and Peter and I went up to my room.
"So do you want to use one of the bunks or sleep in my bed with me?"
Peter stepped forward and pressed his groin against mine. "That's a really dumb question." He kissed my mouth while it was open. It was different from the one we had upstairs. This one was hot; and there was no mistaking what he was interested in.
Peter probed my mouth with his tongue and I tried to follow his lead but I had never done it before and I was a little sloppy.
"Okay Jules, take it easy. Try and touch the roof of my mouth with your tongue, like this." He demonstrated and I tried it and removed my tongue.
"Was that okay?"
"Uh huh, more of that sort of stuff and less slobber okay?"
"Got it."
He untied my draw string and slid his hands under my shirt and up my back and then reversed direction, sliding down and putting a hand on each of my butt cheeks. It felt so good and I wanted to feel him as well.
He didn't have a draw string on his shorts so I just slid my hands inside and cupped his butt and squeezed gently.
"I like that, it feels wonderful," Peter purred at me.
"I know, I like it too."
I felt my shorts sliding down and they were soon at my knees. I didn't want to copy Peter so I slid my hands up and slid his shirt up as well. He cooperated and let me remove it and my shorts fell to the floor while I was doing that. He removed my shirt next and I stood there naked as he looked on.
"Beautiful," was the only thing he said.
No one had ever used that word to describe me before; it was overwhelming.
I leaned forward and studied Peter's waist band and finally saw the Velcro that held it tight. I pulled at the small tab and the shorts sank off his hips to the floor, leaving him as bare as I was. I was awestruck by his beauty; he was perfect in every way. I wanted to consume him in some way but I lacked the knowledge to understand how to go about it.
"Why don't we go and get a shower?" Peter suggested. I nodded and dug out a towel from the cabinet for him.
Once we judged the water was at the right temperature, I followed him into the spray and he seized me by the arms and pulled me close. I could feel his mirror image penis rubbing against mine, made slippery by the hot water. It was fantastic.
"Our dicks seem to like each other," Peter said, smiling at me.
I covered that smile with my mouth and we said nothing for quite a while.
"I'm getting close."
"I knew what he meant because I was feeling the pressure build up behind my own dick. When it happened, we were within seconds of each other and then came the warmth of the embrace as our orgasms faded to a memory. We stood under the water long enough for it to begin to go cold. I turned down the cold knob nearly closed and we rinsed any evidence down the shower drain and then we dried ourselves and crawled into my bed.
Sleep came quickly as we cuddled under a very old but comfortable patch work quilt.