It was a long night for me. Not only was I busy checking in on Little Ricky and worrying about how he and Arlene were holding up, but I was also excited about the possibility of opening a group home on the Becker’s farm. I couldn’t get over how appropriate it would be to honor Albert by using his homestead to care for other children who needed help, the same way he had done for Richard. I also had an idea and wanted to run it by Little Ricky first thing in the morning. I’m going to tell him I think we should call the place the ‘Albert and Arlene Becker Farm-Home for Children.’
Even though I still had this wonderful plan whirling around in my mind, I finally fell asleep, but the idea stayed with me the whole time. When I awoke the next morning, I couldn’t wait until I saw Little Ricky, so I could mention my suggestion to him.
Little Ricky and Ricky slept in late that morning, but when they came downstairs, I fixed their breakfast and then sat with them while they ate. After giving him a chance to wake up completely and fill his stomach at least partially, I decided to broach the subject.
“Little Ricky, what do you think about calling the farm the ‘Albert and Arlene Becker Farm-Home for Children?’” He thought about this briefly before he answered me, but I knew his response before he spoke. It was evident when a grin started to spread across his face.
“I think that would be perfect,” he told me. “It would honor both my mom AND dad, so I hope she’ll be able to understand that. I’ll tell her about it next time she’s acting normal again.”
“Yes, I hope she understands it too,” I added, knowing that Arlene’s approval would mean as much to Little Ricky as naming the farm in his parents honor. “I just hope it doesn’t bother her that we’re using her name too, since she’s still alive.”
Ricky thought about that for minute, so he’d have an answer for her if that question came up. After he had some time to contemplate it further, we went on to discuss other things. That’s when I brought up arranging for him to have his own bedroom. He would need one, since he was now going to be living with us.
“I think it’s time we talk about getting you settled in,” I told him. “We do have one open room, since Kevin moved in with Vinnie. In fact, it was Ricky’s bedroom when he first moved in with me.”
“Really? Neat,” Little Ricky beamed. “Is it close to Ricky’s room now?” I could see the look of anticipation of his face.
“Yes. Actually, it’s just across the hall from Ricky’s room.” He continued to smile.
“The one in the corner?” he wondered. “The one with the old cars on the wallpaper?”
“Yep, that’d be the one,” I replied, with my best farmer’s drawl
“Ricky showed me that room and told me it was his once,” Little Ricky admitted. “He also told me it would probably be the room you’d give me, unless you moved people around.”
“He did, did he?” I made a face. “Must be that little brat thinks he’s running the place now,” I teased, while trying to sound angry.
“Oh, no, he wasn’t telling me that’s where I WOULD be, just that you MIGHT give me that room,” he responded. He looked worried he’d gotten his idol on my ‘shit list,’ so I decided it would be best to let him off the hook. I began to chuckle.
“I know and I was just pulling your leg,” I confessed. “You didn’t get your older bro into trouble, so you can relax.” I could actually see his body slump in relief.
“Dang, you had me scared that I got you mad at Ricky,” he told me.
“I know and that’s what I wanted you to think,” I explained, “but then I realized I was being cruel, so I stopped teasing you.” He looked at me funny and then punched me in the arm, playfully.
“That was mean of you,” he admonished me. “I always thought you were nice.”
“You mean the boys haven’t told you about my mean streak?” I asked, while flashing him my best non-believing look. Little Ricky studied me for a few seconds and then began to scold me.
“You’re teasing me again, aren’t you?” he asked, rhetorically, with his hands on his hips. “You’d better cut it out or I won’t like you any more.” I feigned a pout, which caused him to giggle.
“Oh, I could never stop liking you, Pop,” he explained, in an effort to reassure me. “You’re stuck with me now. I’m like a cheap pair of sunglasses, so you’ll never be able to get rid of me.” He gave me a wicked grin and I admired his analogy.
“If you say so, and it’s a good thing too,” I shot back, “because I’d never want to get rid of you anyway.”
After spending some more time with my newest son, I took him back to the farmhouse. I did this so he could pick up more of his belongings and select a few more things for his mother, so they could both settle in to their new homes. We dropped his mother’s things off at the Spences and stayed for a while, so Ricky could spend some time with her. Unfortunately, it wasn’t one of her better days and she didn’t even recognize him. This pained Little Ricky considerably, but he still spent quite a bit of time with her. We discussed this situation on the way home.
“I hope you don’t let it get to you,” I began, as a way to keep him from personalizing the pain. “She still loves you when she’s herself.”
“I know it’s not because she doesn’t love me any more or anything like that,” he confirmed. “It’s just her sickness that makes her forget, but it still kinda hurts.”
“I can understand how you feel and I’m glad you realize it’s her illness that’s causing the problems, and not anything you’ve done.” He nodded in agreement, so I reached over and squeezed his leg again. I did this to let him know everything was all right, at least as much as we could control.
After dinner, we went to the final calling hours. The funeral service would be held the following day, after lunch. Things went pretty much as they had before, but the Spences didn’t bring Arlene this time, because she was continuing to have another bad day. Little Ricky spent more time with my other boys today, although he did go up to say another moving good-bye to his father before we went home.
When we got back, Little Ricky seemed to need my attention. I could tell this because he would either sit right beside me or on my lap throughout the rest of the evening, so I tried my best to comfort him and give him all my love. When I felt it was time for him to go to bed, he balked at leaving, so I asked him what was wrong.
“I’m just missing my father really badly tonight,” he advised me. “Would you stay with me a little longer?” He now looked at me expectantly and hoped I would say yes.
“Sure, how long would you like?” I asked, in return.
“All night, if it’s all right with you?” he suggested, meekly. He was holding his breath again, which let me know he was afraid I was going to say no.
“I really need you right now,” he explained, “so I know I’m not all alone. I know it sounds kinda childish, but I need you to hold me and I’m afraid to have you let go. I have a feeling if you do, you’re gonna be gone too.”
“I won’t leave you, but I do understand how you’re feeling,” I replied, as soothingly as possible. “Let me go clear things with Jake, so he knows what’s going on, and then it’s just you and me, all night long.”
“You mean that?” Little Ricky asked. He looked pleased, yet confused. I wondered if he thought I might be teasing him again.
“Yes, I mean it,” I confirmed. “I’m just going to let Jake know what’s going on. It will only take a few minutes. Okay?”
“Yes,” he said eagerly, “just don’t be gone too long.”
“I won’t,” I assured him.
I walked out, found Jake and explained the situation to him. “He really needs me,” I continued, “even more than Ted did when he was here.”
“I understand,” Jake said, reassuringly. “Besides, I wanted to spend a little more time with Shannon too, before he went back to college. I’ll spend the night with him and you can stay with Little Ricky in our room.”
“Thanks for being so wonderful, Jake. I really do love you,” I told him, before adding, “I hope you know that.” When he nodded, I gave him a hug and a very passionate kiss to show him how much he meant to me.
“Hey, let’s not start that,” he protested, jokingly, “or I might not want to leave.” I hugged him again.
As Jake was grabbing a few things from our room, I went back to tell Little Ricky. “Okay, everything’s all set,” I announced, which caused him to jump up and start dancing around, joyfully.
“Are you going to stay in my new room with me?” he asked.
“No,” I shot back, rather quickly. This caused him to flash me a worried look.
“That room has bunk beds,” I pointed out, “so I don’t think it will do. You can sleep in my room with me.”
“But what about Pop Jake?” I hadn’t ever heard him refer to Jake that way before, but it kind of pleased me to know he was accepting Jake the same way he’d accepted me.
“He’s going to spend the night with his son, Shannon.” I advised him. “He wanted to spend more time alone with him too, before Shannon went back to college.”
“Really? I didn’t force him out?” Little Ricky asked, while looking somewhat relieved that he hadn’t caused a problem.
“No, he would have probably done this anyway,” I confirmed. “If not today, then maybe tomorrow. All you did is make him pick tonight, instead of some other day.” I saw him relax.
“I don’t want to piss him off or cause problems for you and him,” he admitted. Little Ricky studied me for a few seconds, as he attempted to be certain I was being honest with him. Once he was sure I was, he posed his next question.
“Do you want to stay in here with me longer or would you rather go to bed?” he asked.
“That’s up to you, my boy,” I replied. “Which would you rather do?” He thought about this for a second.
“Can we find a movie to watch on TV?” he wondered. “I’ll sit on your lap and watch it with you, if that’s okay with you?” Now, he made a funny face, halfway between a questioning look and a grin.
“That sounds fine to me,” I told him, so he searched for a movie, while I went to get us some refreshments. When I returned, I got comfy in my chair and then he came over and sat across my lap and made himself comfortable too.
“This is nice,” he purred, as we began to concentrate on the movie.
He actually fell asleep before the movie ended, but I watched the rest of it while holding him. I was enjoying the fact he felt so at ease with me and felt bad when the movie was over, because it meant I had to wake him up. There was no way I could lift him and get out of my recliner at the same time. Groggily, he followed me to the bedroom, but I sent him off to the bathroom first, to brush his teeth and pee. Soon, he came stumbling back, though still half asleep. I knew I would never replace Albert as his father, but at least I could lessen his loss a tiny bit.
“Do you mind if I sleep in my undies,” he asked, when he returned, “or do you want me to go get a pair of pajamas?”
“Whichever you prefer,” I answered.
“Then I’ll just sleep in my undies, so I don’t have to run upstairs,” he announced.
“That’s fine,” I told him, and he quickly stripped down and crawled into bed. I went to brush my teeth and urinate next, and then I came back in and crawled in beside him. I thought he was asleep, but as soon as I got in position, he rolled over against me, threw his arm across my chest, and whispered a very weak, “Night, Pop. I love you.”
“Sweet dreams, my boy, and I love you too,” I whispered back. Then I turned slightly, so I could kiss him on the forehead. He was soon breathing gently and evenly, which let me know he was in a deep slumber. I nestled against him and quickly dosed off myself.
When I awoke the next morning, I realized the funeral was at hand and we had much to do to get ready. I talked to Little Ricky when he awoke, to make sure he was mentally and emotionally prepared for what was to come. You see, there is a harsh and drastic realization of the finality of death, when you see the coffin, just before it is lowered into the ground. It is then that you begin to comprehend you’re never going to see that person’s earthly form again. I wanted to make sure this didn’t come as a big surprise to Little Ricky, at the last minute. It might devastate him. I thought it best to discuss this with him first.
“I hope you understand they’ll be putting your father’s body in the ground today,” I informed him. “I know you’ve always realized that was coming, but sometimes the meaning of it doesn’t sink in until you actually see it happen.”
“I know,” he admitted, somewhat reluctantly. “I’ve been thinking about that off and on. I wish I could think of something special to do, maybe like put something in with him, so he always has it.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” I said, encouragingly. “Do you have any idea what you might choose?”
“I was thinking of a picture,” he told me, “but I really wanted to do something a lot more special than that.” He looked upset that he couldn’t think of anything he felt was appropriate.
“Why don’t you write a letter to him on my computer,” I suggested. “Then you can keep a copy for yourself and put another copy, and maybe even a picture, in with him.”
“Yeah, that would work fine,” he beamed. “I think I’m going to do that.”
I led him to my computer and he spent the next thirty minutes composing his masterpiece. He rewrote several sections of it until he was satisfied he had gotten down exactly what he wanted to say. I didn’t bother to try to see what he wrote or ask him if I could look it over. It was a private correspondence between him and his father. Although I was very curious, I did not push the issue and figured maybe some day he’d find the desire or need to share it with me, but I doubted that time would be now. Therefore, I gave him his space and respected his privacy.
I had him put his father’s copy in an envelope, along with the picture he wanted Albert to have too, and I told him he could place it in the casket when he said his final good-bye or wait until everyone had left. However, he had to do it before the casket was sealed. He said he preferred to do it when no one else was around, which I told him would be fine. I said I would arrange it with the minister and funeral director, once the ceremony was concluded at the funeral home and before the casket was sealed and moved to the church.
There was a short viewing before the service at the funeral home, but then the casket would be moved to the church. Arlene was there with the Spences, but I heard her keep asking questions about where they were and why they were there. That meant she had no idea what was going on again.
Once the viewing was over, a short service was conducted. Once that ended, everyone began to leave and move to the church. I stayed behind with Little Ricky and walked him up to the casket to say his final farewell. He pulled the envelope from his pocket and carefully slipped it under his father’s hands. Once it was in place, Little Ricky stroked his dad’s cheek, as the tears streamed down his face. I stood behind him, with my hands on his shoulders, just to let him know I was there for support. After a few hesitant seconds, he bent forward and gave his father a peck on the lips, said, “I love you, Dad. Bye.”
I let him decide when he was ready to leave and then we turned to go. We waited outside, as the combination of neighbors and friends who had been asked to be pallbearers took up their role and carried the casket outside. Soon, it was loaded into the hearse and we were on our way to the church.
The service there was quite nice. Dion had volunteered to sing the hymns again, but this time the adult choir backed him up. It was still beautiful and well received.
The minister also did a very nice job with the eulogy and used many of the things we had told him about Albert. It was very moving and quite personalized, so many of those attending found it very appropriate and well done. Once this service was concluded, the casket was moved to the hearse again, for its final journey to the cemetery.
It was a long drive, because the cemetery was near the farm, so it took us a while to get there at the speed the funeral procession was allowed to travel. Little Ricky rode between Jake and I, which kind of upset my Ricky. He wanted to sit beside his new brother, but had to accept Little Ricky’s decision to sit between us. Ricky rode across from us in the limo, just so he could be close.
When we arrived at the cemetery, we walked over to the open grave, as the casket was put into its proper place on the frame. Then, we stood and listened as the minister gave the graveside service. When it ended, I took Little Ricky back to the car and sat with him.
I normally like to stay and watch the grave closed up, but I thought it would be way too much for Little Ricky to handle. Instead, we drove off before it was done. I’d bring him back to his father’s grave on the weekend, so he could check everything out, but for now we were heading home. We still had to continue helping Little Ricky put his new life together.