Monday the boys and I went back to school, but I broke away from my normal duties to attend a luncheon meeting with Steve, Sally and the Spences, so we could begin to address some of the issues concerning the establishment of the Foundation. It was at this meeting that I was first informed we were talking in terms of having several million dollars in seed money. Once I got over the initial shock of the size of the Spence’s gift, we set out the rough goals, objectives and procedures to dole out assistance through our charity.
One of the first things decided was that our little group would comprise the core of the Board of Directors and then later we would add additional members to it, as we saw fit. Sally agreed to assume the title of Director, before we named John Spence the Chief Executive Officer (CEO), and then we agreed to begin a search for a Chief Financial Officer (CFO), hopefully assigning Mark as his assistant until Mark was capable of handling the reigns alone. This would be the perfect opportunity for our friend from Arizona to gain valuable experience in the field, while also providing him with some additional income. Not only that, but he could continue his education while doing the job, since he didn’t need to move locally to perform his duties. He could contact the CFO via phone, the Internet or even fax, and he could do the investing electronically from nearly any secure location.
One of the other things the Board decided during that meeting was that we should be an international charity, open to anyone with biological children or those who had adopted or were planning on adopting needy children, even from overseas. I suggested this while thinking about Nigel Barstow and his family, hoping we could encourage others from that part of the world to follow his example. We would take most of the recommendations for assistance from social service groups, churches, educational groups and adoption agencies dealing with hard to place children. We would launch a media campaign to get recognition, asking some of the national news magazines for coverage, and we would direct all potential contributions to a special account, which would still have to be established.
As the meeting progressed, I decided it would be best to ask Mark to join us after Christmas and stay for the remainder of his winter break, so he could work with whomever we came up with as our CFO and help set up all of the necessary accounts. I hoped by then we’d also be able to define Mark’s role in the process and possibly send him back with a firm grasp of what was going to be expected of him.
The Spences were happy with the parameters we’d established, as well as being thrilled about their role in overseeing what happened and being included as working members of the group. Steve was going to draw up a draft of the by-laws and set the Foundation up as a corporation, to be officially known as the ‘Castaway Foundation and Charitable Fund’. This was surely one Thanksgiving none of us would ever forget.
The remainder of the week included other meetings, during which we ironed out some of the remaining details, but by the end of the following weekend the majority of the process had been completed and we were on our way to becoming an officially recognized charity. I asked a friend of mine, the President of our local bank, to serve as our CFO and help train Mark to eventually take over the job. He happily agreed and Mark accepted the opportunity as well, when I phoned him to tell him the news.
We also got a good response from the magazines that had covered the family after the first round of adoptions had taken place, and they agreed it would be a good follow-up story to their original articles. Sally spent her time contacting many of the people she knew whom she thought might make a contribution to our cause, in either a financial or professional capacity. Much more quickly than I ever suspected was possible, we had professional contacts established across the country that would help in making referrals and evaluating those in their areas who were being considered.
Some of the more trivial minutia was also taken care of next, such as streamlining the application process, establishing criteria for selection and outlining guidelines for the range of financial assistance that would be given out for the various situations we were planning on dealing with. It was a great team effort to get so much accomplished in such a sort time and all of us were pleased with the end results.
In fact, I was so busy working on the Foundation that week that I almost forgot about Dustin and Cole’s first wrestling match. I felt badly when I realized my oversight and apologized to the boys profusely. They both told me it was no problem and not to worry about it, but I still felt terrible that I’d forgotten. As the boys got their things together, I also got ready to go, along with the boys who also wanted to attend. Not everyone was interested, but I did notice one definite surprise. Pat wanted to go watch his brothers compete. I thought it almost ironic, after Dustin and Pat almost had a knockdown drag-out battle over that girl. Possibly it was Pat’s way of making amends.
It turned out that it wasn’t much of a contest, as the other team wasn’t very good, and both Dustin and Cole won their matches quite easily. I was once again impressed by their conditioning, compared to that of their opponents, as well as being mildly embarrassed over how their singlet emphasized their packages. It left no doubt in anyone’s mind that these boys weren’t European, if you get my drift. No wonder Dustin was so popular with the young ladies, after displaying his attributes so boldly.
That weekend the Spences left us and went back home, although their departure wasn’t easy for them. They were sad to leave, but looking forward to rejoining us for Christmas. The boys were depressed about their departure as well, so a lot of kissing and hugging took place before they said their final good-byes. Watching Margaret, John and the boys interact with each other, you’d think the Spences had always been their grandparents. Both John and Margaret had tears in their eyes as their driver shut the limo’s door, once they were seated inside, and then we sorrowfully watched the hired car drive away. The boys continued to wave and throw kisses to both of them, until they were finally out of sight.
The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas was even more hectic than the Thanksgiving holiday. Not only did we have the normal routine and Christmas shopping to do, there were also all the typical school and church related concerts, pageants, and other special services. Plus, there was the big holiday cotillion, for which the boys would have to rent tuxes and their dates dress in formal gowns, and the boys would be shelling out for dinner and corsages too. All of the straight and bi boys were taking their dates, so Danny and Brandon hesitantly agreed to take a couple of girls as well, who weren’t the same girls they had first dated. Those relationships had ended after several weeks, when both boys began to feel they were about to be pressured into having sex with them. They felt it would be best to break up with them before it actually happened; rather than have the rest of the school believing that was why the split had occurred.
Neither Danny nor Brandon was exactly thrilled about attending, but they were still happier than Trey, who was once again distressed because he felt that Dion and he were being left out. It didn’t seem to affect Kevin and Nick in quite the same way. I must admit that I was mildly shocked, yet pleased, that the two of them had stayed mainly with each other since they had gotten together. Not only that, but they hardly ever did anything of a sexual nature with any of their other brothers either, at least for the past month or so. I think Nick remaining monogamous was my biggest surprise of all.
As Christmas drew nearer, we prepared for everyone who had been there for Thanksgiving to return, as well as having Sammy and Andrew’s grandparents from Japan join us. Everyone was anticipating the big day, when everyone would finally be here, but I hardly had time to think about any of it. My days were filled with not only all of the activities at school, but also with more meetings concerning the ‘Castaway Foundation.’ On top of all that, we were scheduled to do two magazine interviews, about the family and the charity, the very week before Christmas.
Of course, I invited the Spences to stay with us for the week before Christmas and then stay through until the week after New Year’s. They eagerly accepted and I was happy they’d agreed, as I knew the boys would appreciate them being there. I also wanted them to be here for the interviews for the magazine articles, because I wanted their generosity highlighted, in hopes to encourage others to do similar things. Although the stories wouldn’t appear until late January or early February, this would get the ball rolling.
Margaret and John Spence appeared ten to twenty years younger when they arrived for this visit, and quickly informed me it was mainly due to the fact that they finally had some meaning back in their lives. The creation of the charity with their money had been part of it, but they felt most of their resurgence had come because they felt needed and a part of our family. Of course, my sons were to get the credit for that, since they were just as fond of the Spences.
While John and Margaret were with us, the boys went out of their way to give them special attention and the Spences eagerly filled the role of the grandparents many of them had longed for, but had never known. All of them loved John and Margaret, and it didn’t have anything to do with their money either. Each of them had taken to the Spences on the plane and had enjoyed their company each time we had been together or talked on the phone, and I knew the Spences felt the same. It was truly a melding of souls.
John and Margaret enthusiastically read stories to the younger ones, told all of the boys stories about their lives, with particular emphasis on letting them know what it was like for them when they were the same age the boys were now. In their own inimitable way, they let the boys know how much the world had changed during the course of their lifetime, before emphasizing how lucky my sons were to have the opportunities they had now.
In return, the boys told the Spences stories about their own past, which the older couple only had an inkling about prior to this, and both of them were shocked at some of the conditions the boys had been forced to endure. They were especially moved by Cole and Graham’s story, not understanding how a mother could starve and neglect her children. It was quite an emotional time, as each of my young men told his tale.
Sammy and Andrew’s grandparents arrived next and I was somewhat surprised they didn’t have an interpreter with them. As I wondered how we were going to communicate with them, I received my answer, when Mr. Yamada spoke to me in broken English.
“We study your English since we last see you,” he announced, quite proudly, “so we no need help to speak with Tsukimo and Furuhata,” he added, using Sammy and Andrew’s Japanese names. “We spend much time in class using only English, so we can come here without assist.”
“I am pleased and you are doing very well,” I replied, knowing he’d meant assistance or having a translator in his last sentence, but I got his point. “The boys will be thrilled they can speak with you directly.”
I then went on to tell them who would be joining us and I think they were quite amazed upon discovering how many houseguests we’d be having. I then went on to give them a little background as to how some of the others were connected to the family, but it seemed a bit more than they could handle at the time. However, I do think they began to realize how fortunate their grandsons actually were, having so many people who cared about them and spent time with them.
Over the next hour or so, Sammy and Andrew took their grandparents around and introduced them to all of their brothers, sisters and nephews, before they introduced them to their ‘other’ grandparents. John and Margaret swelled with pride, hearing the boys introduced them in this manner, but I think this momentarily confused the Yamadas. Eventually, the boys explained the situation to them, and then the Yamadas bowed toward the Spences, as a sign of respect. Instinctively, John and Margaret did the same.
By the time Aunt Sally, Aunt Mary and Uncle Steve showed up, the Yamadas had met most of the others. Now, they were introduced to these newcomers too, just before the O’Hara’s arrived from Texas. The O’Haras came in and asked several of the boys to help them unload their rental car, and the boys returned lugging a couple of suitcases and a ton of packages. I later discovered that Patrick and Brenda had flown into Pittsburgh, rented their car at the airport and then drove around the area doing their Christmas shopping there, since they didn’t want to drag the numerous presents through the airport and onto the plane. It was a very wise choice.
The Lawrences landed in Philadelphia and agreed to pick up Carlos and his mother while they were there, so I wouldn’t have to make that round trip. I had given them directions and notified Carlos and his mother of this change. Carlos’ mother was a little unsettled about riding with someone they’d never met before, but Carlos’ and my constant reassurance eventually convinced her this would be fine. They were the last group to arrive at the house and the boys eagerly introduced them to anyone they didn’t know, while making sure they also understood how each of us was ‘related.’ With everyone accounted for, we began mingling with our guests and the house was filled with love and laughter.
We had set up the Christmas tree in the living room right after Thanksgiving, and it took up a large corner of that room. It looked great, but once all the presents were displayed under and around it, at least half the room would be unusable for anything else. Therefore, the boys decided to sleep together in the recreation room this time around and laid out their sleeping bags and pillows accordingly. Jordan and Nicky immediately turned the ping-pong table into a tent, by draping blankets over it and weighting them down on the top. They planned to sleep underneath it, with Sammy, Andrew and Graham, marking it as their own private retreat.
The rest of the boys broke up into different groups and staked out a section of the room for themselves, so we could spread the guests around in the various bedrooms. The Spences were given my room again, and everyone else was assigned a bedroom upstairs. Each of our guests was satisfied with his or her room assignments and then I also told them which bathroom they would be using and whom they’d be sharing it with. The boys were also split up between the bathrooms, but they were told to shower during the early evening hours, so they would be out of everyone else’s way during the later evening and early morning time periods.
On Christmas Eve, we enjoyed a large meal at home, prepared by the boys and myself, before all of our guests agreed to join us when we went to our church, so we could participate in the Christmas Eve service together. We took the Suburban, the van and two other cars and managed to fit everyone inside comfortably. It looked like an invasion when we arrived there, as everyone got out of the vehicles and entered the church en masse.
It was really fantastic having the extended family together on this special day, but I also noticed a few other memorable moments as I looked about, which made it even more special. Nick was happily sitting between his parents, along with Kevin, and Nick was grinning like the Cheshire cat. It appeared this might have been the best Christmas present he had ever received. The Lawrences seemed very pleased by this as well, and even graciously accepted Kevin’s relationship with their son. At various times during the service, one or the other had an arm wrapped over Nick or Kevin’s shoulder or around their waist, and after standing during one particular song, the boys traded places, so they would be sitting next to the other parent as well. I couldn’t begin to describe how happy I was for all of them.
Brandon and Danny sat with the O’Haras and Patrick and Brenda seemed quite pleased that both boys had decided to be with them. Danny and Brandon sat between them, as Kevin and Nick had done with Nick’s parents, and both boys were sharing stories about what they’d been up to since we’d last seen them, while they waited for the service to begin. This alone probably made the whole trip worthwhile for Brandon’s parents.
Since this was the first Christian service Sammy and Andrew’s grandparents had attended, they were a little overwhelmed and confused about the meaning of this holiday, but they tried to absorb it all. Their grandsons sat between them as well and did their best to explain everything that was going on. However, not being Christians themselves, the Yamadas were having a little trouble grasping the significance of this event.
Graham and Cole had asked the Spences if they could sit with them, as those two had grown very close to this couple over the past few visits, and John and Margaret were honored that the boys wanted to do this. Gleefully, Cole sat alongside John, while Graham sidled up beside Margaret, and all four of them glowed from this closeness.
The rest of the boys spaced themselves out among the older brothers and sisters and their aunts and uncles, so no one would feel left out. Ricky sat between my oldest son and me and leaned against my shoulder during much of the service. I’m sure some of the onlookers might have wondered why a boy his age would sit this way, since you would think it would be something a younger child might be prone to do, but I felt it was because Ricky still felt a special connection to me, since he had been the first member of my new family. I certainly wasn’t about to discourage his actions, because I enjoyed it as well and also felt a very special connection to him, for the very same reasons.
It was a very nice service and many of us enjoyed singing along with some of the more traditional Christmas songs, like Come All Ye Faithful, Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, We Three Kings and the First Noel. The minister kept his sermon short and on point, while reminding us how important it was for all of us to put Christ back in Christmas. Everyone felt exceptionally good after the service ended, as we had just been reminded about the true meaning of this special holiday. After going back outside, we loaded into the vehicles and went back to our place.
The boys were sent to bed shortly after we arrived, so Santa Claus could come and visit. Although the mention of Santa might detract from the religious significance of the day, I didn’t want to disappoint any of the younger boys by omitting him. Almost immediately, the older boys started to protest about having to go to bed too, so I quickly reminded them about how early the little ones would be getting us all up. After thinking about it for a while longer and remembering how early that would be, it seemed to be enough to convince them to make the best of this situation. I think they also took a few minutes to remember how special Christmas Eve had been when they were younger, after coming to live here, especially those who had still been young when they first arrived. Happily, they played along with the little ones and were soon reminding Nicky and Jordan about Santa’s visit.
Unbeknownst to the boys, almost as soon as we had returned home from church, my second son had dressed up in a Santa suit and slipped outside. He was now peeking through the family room windows, which I excitedly pointed out to everyone. I quickly let them know Santa was checking up to see if they were asleep, so he could drop off their presents. This immediately sent Nicky and Jordan into a complete panic, as they thought Santa wouldn’t leave them anything, because they had still been up when he came. After I explained that Santa would check twice and would leave their gifts off the next time through, if they were all sleeping by then, they began to settle down, before racing off to their space beneath the ping-pong table. Even as excited as they were, they slipped into their sleeping bags and soon fell asleep, making it one of those priceless moments you often hear mentioned.
After the boys were all asleep, we adults got busy getting the presents from their hiding places and displaying them under and around the tree. Steve took the van and loaded up with the things I had stored at his place, as well as his own gifts for my family. I had decided to keep many of my presents at his house, where the boys couldn’t snoop and find them. My oldest two sons went with him, to help him retrieve everything, and I was extremely grateful they had offered their assistance. The rest of the night was spent wrapping the remaining presents and assembling those items that claimed… ‘some assembly required.’ Yeah, right – some assembly indeed. My two older sons and I were up until after 3:00 a.m. putting together various gifts for the boys, most of which were for the youngest members of the group.
The first boys awoke around 5:00 a.m., but Danny and Brandon were able to restrain them and keep them quiet until nearly 6:00. They did this by walking them down to the living room and letting them peek in at all the presents, but I was surprised this didn’t backfire on them. Although the smaller boys were very excited and anxious to see which presents were for them, they were able to contain their curiosity and excitement for another hour, until they couldn’t stand the suspense any longer. At that point, Danny sent them to wake me up first, so I could decide what to do next.
Once I gave them permission to wake everyone else up, they did so by running up and down the halls and going in and out of rooms yelling, “Santa’s been here! Santa’s been here! Come downstairs and see what he left us. Come on. Hurry Up!”
Slowly and groggily, the adults dragged themselves downstairs, trying to come to their senses as they went. The boys were all sitting in the living room waiting for the rest of us to join them and for someone to start passing out the gifts. It was a strict rule in our house that no one was to grab their own gifts and that one of us, generally myself or one of their older siblings, would pass the gifts out. Once everyone had a package, we’d open it, before the next set of packages would be distributed.
As soon as the boys were given permission, wrapping paper began flying everywhere, as each hurriedly sought to discover what he’d been given. This was followed by shouts of joy, once they saw what was contained within, and a quick thank you, directed to the person or persons who had given the present. It took nearly two hours before all the gifts were open, but everyone was able to see what everyone else had received, as well as enjoying their own treasures.
There had been a multitude of special presents from the boys, which had been distributed to the adults. Most of these had been gift certificates or a collection of nicely framed portraits of them, each accompanied by an elaborate card the boys had made especially for the recipient on our computer, with a personal note about why the boys loved them. I believe those cards were probably appreciated the most, because the greeting came straight from the heart.
When the last of the presents had been passed out and there was nothing more to open, John Spence stood and walked around, handing each individual a card. Inside was a check, made out to that particular person in the sum of $10,000. He told my grandchildren and boys, including Carlos, Nick and Brandon that this money was to be deposited into their accounts and used to pay for college or for starting them out in a business later. He even had an additional envelope for Jay, who would be joining us later in the day. Once he had finished passing these out, each boy made sure to not only thank both Margaret and him, but all of them gave each of them a kiss and hug as well.
John then did the same for my older children, even though they quickly assured him he didn’t have to include them on this gift. After explaining that his wife and he wanted to do this, he informed them they could spend this money any way they wished: on themselves, their houses or to continue their education. Each of them was grateful for his generosity and thanked and hugged or kissed them both.
When he handed me an envelope, I was dumbfounded, and didn’t respond immediately. After waiting for a few seconds, he encouraged me to open it. Inside I found a check made out for $20,000. He told me this was not for the foundation, but for me to use to take the boys on mini-trips or to put toward our next summer vacation. I told him I would do that and thanked both of them for everything, especially their generosity to my family, and for helping us to establish the Foundation. If there truly were a Santa Claus this Christmas, it would have to have been John and Margaret Spence.
Once all of the presents were opened and all the wrapping paper had been picked up and put in trash bags, Nick and Kevin ran upstairs to get their guitars. When they returned, we all sang along with the Christmas carols the boys played for us, which made the day even more special. I was mildly surprised by how well each boy did, while also noticing Nick was playing the actual notes for the various songs, while Kevin was strumming out the chords. They must have practiced very hard together, to be ready to do this for us.
Around 10:00 I received a phone call, which was very surprising since I thought everyone was here with us, but it was from Mark. He and his mother were calling to wish us all a Merry Christmas and to thank us for our Christmas present to them and tell me how much they had enjoyed spending the time together. You see, I had purchased Mark a plane ticket and arranged for him to fly home and spend the holiday with his mother, telling him it was our Christmas present to the two of them. I told them they were very welcome and then chatted with them for a while, before some of the older boys pestered me about being able to talk to Mark and his mother too. Once they were finished, I took the phone back from them and talked to Mark a little while longer, before I said my final good-bye to them. It was definitely a nice surprise.
Christmas dinner was equally as wonderful and enjoyable. I took care of the turkeys and ham again, while everyone else prepared their best/favorite dish to go along with it. It was a huge success and featured the very best everyone had to offer. The Japanese grandparents got a good helping of American home cooking and an indication of how the holidays were celebrated here.
I might have forgotten to mention this earlier, but they were also given numerous Christmas gifts from the others, ranging from special portraits of their two grandsons, tickets for them and their grandsons to go to both a symphony concert and a musical while they were here, in addition to some special chocolate candies and petit fours and a collection of American Express gift checks, so they could buy their own souvenirs to remind them of their American Christmas vacation. They were quite thrilled with the variety of gifts, but a bit embarrassed they had not purchased anything for everyone else. After an explanation from the rest of us that it wasn’t expected and we certainly didn’t lack for gifts, they finally relented and said they would make it up to us when we visited them, and they’d be happy to host the others too, if they ever made it to Japan. That was the best present from them that any of us could have asked for.
Due to the fact that Christmas had been on Monday this year, my older children had to leave the next day, to return to their jobs, but my grandsons stayed behind. Their parents would be rejoining us the following weekend to welcome in the New Year and the boys would go back home with them then.
The Lawrences and the O’Hara’s had both spoken to me, between Thanksgiving and their arrival for Christmas, and told me they’d like to take a week of vacation and spend it with us over the holidays, if we didn’t mind. After assuring all of them I’d be happy to have them spend the entire holiday with us, both couples announced to everyone else that they would be staying through New Year’s. Both sets of grandparents were also planning to spend that entire period with us as well, so I quickly began making plans for one very special New Year’s Eve celebration.