The young man accompanying Danny appeared to have nothing seriously wrong with him, on first inspection. It was only when you got a look at his face that you realized he seemed to be in a catatonic state. After talking to Danny, I was worried he might be in such poor condition that Danny would have to carry him inside, but that was not the case. He was walking under his own power, even if he didn’t seem cognizant of what was going on around him. He had this vacant expression on his face and it appeared as if the rest of the world no longer existed for him. It was actually a little spooky.
In spite of his condition, I was still impressed by what I saw. He was a handsome young man, even though he looked sad and lost in his own thoughts. It would be hard to miss those lovely blue eyes and I found myself drawn to them, although at the moment there wasn’t any spark of happiness shining through them. They were obviously one of the lad’s best features and were set off nicely by his coal black hair.
Danny quickly introduced the young man to Brandon and me, but Elliot didn’t look at either of us. Once we had been introduced, Danny asked me to explain things to the others, so they would understand Elliot’s situation and not make matters worse. I understood what he was getting at and agreed to take care of this for him. A few minutes later, I took my other sons aside, so I could fill them in about what had happened to Elliot and why he was here with us now.
Throughout his first night with us, Danny and Brandon literally had to assist Elliot with everything he needed to do. The boy showed little desire to do anything on his own, so Danny and Brandon ended up having to feed him and bring his drink to his lips. They also had to make sure he went to the toilet and gave him a bath. Then they put his underwear back on him, as they prepared to put him in bed.
Throughout each of these occurrences, Elliot remained almost totally unresponsive and offered very little assistance in performing even the simplest of these tasks. They did manage to get him to open his mouth, and then chew and swallow his food and drink, and he also walked from place to place, as long as one of them helped him stand up and then guided him along the way. However, that was about the extent of his involvement in his personal care.
There was an open bedroom on the second floor that we could put Elliot in for the time being, but I didn’t think he should be navigating the stairs in his current condition. Instead, I thought he would be better off using the guest room, which was located on the first floor. I also felt it would be best if either Danny or Brandon stayed with him during the night, at least until he knew his way around and was able to take care of his own needs.
Danny quickly decided that he wanted to do this the first night, because Elliot was accustomed to having him around. He also felt it would be better for him to do this, since he happened to have the next day off, whereas Brandon had to work. Brandon and I agreed to his proposal, so Danny collected a few items and took them to the guest room. Hopefully, a good night’s rest will help to pull Elliot out of his stupor, if only just slightly, and he will begin to show some improvement tomorrow.
After tucking Elliot into bed, Danny came back out to say good night to Brandon and me. We talked briefly and discussed a few things concerning Elliot’s stay with us, and then Danny went back to the guest room and climbed into bed beside his foster son.
Brandon, Jake and I all decided to turn in about an hour later, but unfortunately we didn’t get to sleep for very long. Sometime around 3:00 in the morning, we were all awakened by a bloodcurdling scream. I jumped out of bed and raced to the source of the disturbance.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
I was standing in the doorway of the guest room and could see Danny holding a shaking Elliot in his arms.
“I don’t know! Elliot just started screaming,” Danny replied. “He scared the crap out of me and I damn near had a coronary. He must have had a nightmare, probably about what happened to his father.”
Elliot had begun to calm down slightly, even though his body was still shaking uncontrollably. Danny was already sitting on one side of him, so I sat down on the other and tried to help Danny comfort him. I didn’t even have to touch Elliot to feel the effect of his trembling body; it was causing the bed to vibrate. It was as if he were standing naked in a blizzard and shivering from the extreme cold.
I felt terrible for Elliot and wanted to do something to help too. Since Danny had his arms wrapped around the boy and was whispering words of comfort to him, I tried to come up with something else I could do to make him feel better. I had been wracking my brain for about a minute when an idea suddenly popped into my head. While Danny cradled Elliot, I began to sing.
To my lullaby surrender Warm and tender is my chest Father’s arms with love caressing Lay their blessing on your rest Nothing shall tonight alarm you None shall harm you, have no fear Lie contented, calmly slumber On your father’s chest, my dear Here tonight I tightly hold you And enfold you while you sleep Why, I wonder, are you smiling Smiling in your slumber deep? Are the angels on you smiling And beguiling you with charm While you also smile, my blossom In my bosom soft and warm? Have no fear now, leaves are knocking Gently knocking at our door Have no fear now, waves are beating Gently beating on the shore Sleep, my darling, none shall harm you Nor alarm you, never cry In my bosom sweetly smiling And beguiling those on high
It was a haunting lullaby I’d heard Charlotte Church sing on a DVD one of my older children had given me. I had changed some of the wording slightly when I memorized it, so it would make sense coming from a man
“Dad, that was absolutely amazing,” Danny told me, as soon as I finished the song. “Well not your singing, but the effect it had on Elliot. Almost as soon as you started, I could feel the tension drain from his body. You’re going to have to teach that song to Brandon and me, so we can use it to calm him down if this happens again.”
“Danny, I’ll be happy to teach it to you, but is what just happened normal?” I wondered.
“I’m not a psychiatrist, Dad,” Danny admitted, “but I think he was reliving the horror of what he saw earlier. It will probably take some time, maybe even years, before those memories stop haunting his sleep. The prospect that this might happen every night is not a happy one, since it will cost everyone sleep, but we’ll cope with it, the best we can.”
“Is he going to be all right now?” I wondered.
“I’m not sure,” Danny confessed. “He may do this again, but then he might not. I just don’t know for certain what to expect. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Danny still had his arms wrapped around his foster son and Elliot’s head was resting against his chest. Danny was gently rocking back and forth and alternating between whispering words of comfort to the boy and humming the melody of the song I had just sung. I left them at this point, since I felt there was nothing more I could do to help.
Danny told me later that Elliot fell asleep again shortly after I left the room, but he continued to hold on to Elliot throughout the remainder of the night. He sat with his back propped up against a stack of pillows and kept Elliot cuddled against his side. He prayed this would be enough to keep Elliot from waking up with another blood curdling scream and it must have worked, because I didn’t hear anything for the rest of the night.
The next morning, Elliot remained fairly unresponsive, so Danny and Brandon continued to tend to his needs. Brandon did as much as he could before he left for work and then Danny took over from that point on.
“Papa, what’s the matter with that boy?” Joshie asked, as he was getting ready to head off to school.
“Joshie, we think he saw something really bad happen and just can’t deal with it yet,” I explained.
“Is he gonna be like that forever?” Joshie followed.
“No, little man, he’ll get past this eventually,” I told him. “We’re just going to have to be patient and help him as much as we can.”
This must have been a sufficient explanation for him, because Joshie turned and walked over to Elliot. Joshie then reached out and gave Elliot a hug, as he began to speak to him.
“It’s all right,” Joshie told him. “Papa, Uncle Danny and Uncle Brandon are going to help you get better. I’ll help too, if you want.”
Elliot didn’t respond to Joshie’s statement, but I think his words might have gotten through. Either way, it was very touching to watch.
Danny and I spent the rest of day tending to Elliot. I took over the responsibility for the afternoon shift, so Danny could take a nap. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and I didn’t want him to get rundown in the process. When Jesse returned home from school, he asked if he could help and spent some time with Elliot too.
After I thought about it briefly, I realized it was probably a good idea. Given Jesse’s past, maybe he could get through to Elliot, where Danny and I hadn’t yet been able to succeed. Once I agreed to his request, Jesse wanted to know what he should do, so I told him to just to sit and talk to Elliot. I suggested he could tell Elliot about his day at school, how he ended up living here, about his favorite movies and games or anything else he could think of. I explained the important thing was just that he talked to Elliot and let him know he would be okay.
I left the two boys alone, but I did listen outside the door for a brief time, to see how things were going. I was somewhat taken aback, yet pleased, by what I heard.
“I think I know how you’re feeling,” Jesse told Elliot, “but you’re going to be okay. I know, because I kind of went through the same thing.”
Although Elliot didn’t reply, Jesse continued his story.
“I was a lot younger than you are now when it happened to me, but I saw my father killed too. It was my real father, not my stupid step-father, and he was shot while I was standing right next to him.”
Jesse paused for a second after saying this, to regain control of his emotions, but before long he started to speak again.
“After that happened, I stopped talking and didn’t say another word until after I came to live here,” Jesse confessed. “My life has been a lot better since I moved in with my new dad and I’m sure you’ll get better too. I know it’s not easy, but you’ve got to put this in the past and go on with your life. You’re safe here and if you’re worried you’ll forget about your dad, I can tell you that won’t happen. I haven’t forgotten my dad. I think of him often, but I am also glad I have this new life. That will happen for you too, but it’s just going to take time.”
I was a little choked up after listening to Jesse, so I slowly moved away from where I’d been standing. I didn’t want him to discover I’d overheard what he had said. I’m often amazed by how the boys can grasp a difficult situation and figure out how best to approach it, usually better than most adults would. I’m not sure how much of what he said got through to Elliot, but if it registered at all, I’m certain it will help Elliot get past this crisis.
Jesse stayed with Elliot and talked to him until it was time to eat. When I told him that dinner was ready, he led Elliot to the table and made sure he was seated between Danny and Brandon. I was beginning to see that Jesse would probably play a major role in Elliot’s recovery, whether he realized it or not.
A short time later, Danny and Brandon approached me. I could tell something was troubling them, so we moved into another room for a few minutes, so we could speak privately.
“Dad, I’ve gone through Elliot’s suitcase and he doesn’t have many clothes,” Brandon told me. “What do you think we should do?”
“Well for now I’ll go through the closets and see what I can find that the other boys have outgrown and might fit him,” I began. “We may also have to ask Jesse if we can borrow a few of his things for Elliot, at least for the time being.”
“Do you think that will be enough?” Brandon followed.
“No, it probably won’t, but we’ll make do until we can get more of his things and determine how long he’s going to be with us,” I explained. “I will run out tomorrow and buy him some underwear, but it doesn’t make sense to purchase a whole new wardrobe for him just yet. There’s a good chance he has plenty of clothes at his old home, but we just need to find a way to pick them up or have them sent here. Then there’s always the chance the authorities will find some of his relatives and Elliot will get shipped off to live with them.”
I saw Danny react to my last statement.
“Although it hasn’t been easy dealing with his problems and having him here,” Danny responded, “I really don’t want to lose him at this point. I feel we have a lot to offer Elliot, and unless he has family members who truly want him come live with them, I’d rather keep him here.”
“Me too,” Brandon added. “I know Danny has done most of the work so far and has had to deal with most of the problems, but I also want Elliot to stay with us. I know that probably doesn’t make much sense, since we don’t know a whole lot about him, but I just want to take care of him and make sure no more bad things happen to him. I think if he gets taken away, we’re going to feel nearly as badly as he did when he lost his father.”
I nodded my head in agreement, because I realized that I was beginning to feel the same way. I’ve already spent enough time with Elliot and have done a great many things for him, so now I feel the same desire to protect Elliot and keep him around. It may sounds strange, but I think I’ve also seen the apron strings appearing between Danny and Brandon with Elliot, so there is now this invisible bond between them. I am certain it will be a heart wrenching experience if somehow Elliot gets taken away from us now.
The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful, as we took Elliot into the family room to watch some television before he went to bed. I don’t think he actually watched any of the shows or cared what was going on, but someone was always in physical contact with him, so he would know we were there and he was safe.
When bedtime rolled around, Danny was determined that he would stay with Elliot again. Even though he had to work in the morning, he insisted he’d be all right and it would be best for him to do this again. I overheard Brandon trying to talk him out of it, but obviously Danny wasn’t about to be deterred.
“Danny, you don’t have another day off. You’ve got to go to work in the morning,” Brandon stated. “You’ll need to be well rested, in order to think clearly, so you don’t make any mistakes with your patients. Why don’t you let me do this tonight?”
“Brand, you have to work too, so what difference would it make if you stayed with him?” Danny countered. “Besides, I’ve had to go on duty with less sleep than this when I was doing my residency, so I’ll be fine.”
“You’re right, but I don’t work twelve hour shifts at the hospital, like you do,” Brandon retorted. “I work a fairly standard eight-hour day, so we’ll take turns and I’ll stay with him tonight. That way, you can get some rest. I just don’t want you getting sick or screwing up at work. Okay?”
“Look, Dad watched Elliot for me this afternoon, so I was able to get plenty of rest then,” Danny stated, “I’ll be fine, even if it works out that I have to stay up with him for a while. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine. Okay? Besides, I also know what it was like last night and what I’ll need to do to calm him down, if it happens again. Look, I really think I need to be with him tonight and then you can stay with him tomorrow. Deal?” Reluctantly, Brandon agreed.
After watching how protective Danny was of Elliot and listening to the passionate argument he’d just used to convince Brandon, it was quite obvious he was becoming very attached to his foster son. He was eager to do everything he could to help take care of Elliot, which I thought was very admirable. It might not have been practical, because Danny wouldn’t be much good to anyone if he let himself get rundown from lack of sleep. Regardless, he insisted we let him do this, even after he was aware of the risks involved.
I went to bed shortly after they did, but I was awakened again a few hours later. It was still the middle of the night when Elliot’s screams told us he’d had another nightmare. Without hesitation, I rushed out of my room and went to see if I could help.
Once again, Danny was already handling the situation and trying to calm Elliot down, but Elliot’s body was visibly quivering, like a leaf in a strong breeze. Even though Danny was holding him tightly, it had little effect on the boy, so I walked in and sat down on the bed, next to them. I looked at Elliot and then up at my son. Danny tried to flash me a weak smile, but I could see this was upsetting him deeply. Noticing this, I began to sing again, in hope of calming both their nerves, and by the time I’d finished the lullaby, Elliot seemed better. I looked up at Danny, to gauge how he was holding up, and discovered that he appeared to be relieved that Elliot was nearly calm again.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” he confessed. “He was fine while I was holding him, but I left for a couple of minutes, so I could go to the toilet. He must have realized I wasn’t here and got scared.”
“Danny, it’s not your fault and it’s not a big deal,” I replied. “If nature calls and you have to answer – there’s no call waiting. All I want to know is if Elliot’s all right now?”
“Yeah, he’s okay,“ Danny assured me. “He began to settle down the minute you started singing that song to him again. I think he just woke up, found me missing and panicked. Next time, I’ll just wake him up and take him with me.”
I hated the thought that Danny might have to do this every time he had to use the toilet, but I guess for the time being it was our best option. Elliot did appear to be calm now and his trembling had nearly subsided, so I bid them sweet dreams and left the room. I relieved Danny when he got up to go to work, so Elliot wouldn’t suddenly find himself alone again.
The rest of the day was pretty much like the previous one, except Danny wasn’t here spending every second he could with Elliot. Today, that duty fell to me. I thought Elliot seemed to be more responsive today, in that he’d follow me wherever I went without assistance. He still wasn’t speaking or responding in any other way, even though I tried to ask him some questions. I hoped by doing this it would get him to open up, but Elliot never said a word. That evening, after dinner, I pulled Danny and Brandon aside.
“I received a phone call earlier,” I began. “It seems the authorities have no one else to contact about this and need to know how to dispose of Elliot’s father’s body.”
“Oh, damn, I never thought about that,” Danny said. “So this means we’ve got to do it. Right?”
“Someone needs to,” I informed him, “and I’ve been told Elliot is the only living relative on his father’s side of the family. I think we’ll need to get involved, since we obviously can’t place the burden directly on Elliot right now. He’s still in such a fragile state and might find dealing with this difficult, but I also feel it may give him some closure by having a funeral for his father.”
“You’re probably right,” Brandon agreed. “It’s just that Danny and I have never done anything like this before.”
“Dad, what do you suggest?” Danny wondered.
“Well, they did tell me there was insurance money that could be used to cover any expenses and they’ve also discovered that Mr. Kennedy owns a cemetery plot, adjacent to his wife’s. I think it would be best if we take care of the arrangements, without getting Elliot involved in the planning. We should probably keep the funeral fairly modest, but without going to the extent that it would cheapen any memories Elliot might retain of it. I was also informed that some of Mr. Kennedy’s co-workers have been trying to find out when the funeral would be held, because they want to pay their respects. I guess that’s about all I can tell you.”
“Dad, may I ask you a big favor?” Danny wanted to know.
“I think I can guess what you want to ask, but go ahead,” I replied.
“You’ve handled things like this before, so would you help us do this,” Danny followed. “I mean, Brandon and I will do whatever we need to do, but we just aren’t sure what that might be.”
“Look, why don’t you let me make the arrangements then,” I suggested, “if that’s all right with you? Just tell me when you’d like the service to take place and I’ll handle everything else.”
“That would be a huge help,” Danny concurred. “It works out that I have Saturday off and Brandon only works until noon, so why don’t we do it on Saturday afternoon. That might be easier on his co-workers too, since they won’t have to take time off from work to attend. It will also give you tomorrow and Friday to get everything set up.”
“It sounds fine to me,” I agreed.
Later that evening, as bedtime approached, Brandon let Danny know he was ready to take over the duties of the night shift. Hesitantly, Danny watched as Brandon led Elliot to the guest room. Once inside, Brandon explained to Elliot that he’d be staying with him this evening. Although Elliot had willingly gone with Brandon to the room, he still wasn’t taking the initiative of getting himself ready to sleep, so Brandon had to help him strip down to his underwear. Once he was ready, Brandon guided him to the bed and tucked him in. He then hurried around to the other side and crawled in beside him.
As soon as Brandon got comfortable, it was almost as if a magnet began to draw Elliot closer to him. Little by little, Elliot inched his body nearer to his other foster father, until he was able to place his head on Brandon’s chest. When he did this, Brandon slipped an arm under and around Elliot, so he could hold him close. Elliot drifted off to sleep a few minutes later and Brandon concluded this was probably the best way to deal with him for now.
When Brandon got up later to use the toilet, he woke Elliot up and took him along. Brandon tried to get Elliot to urinate on his own and eventually succeeded. Once Elliot finished, Brandon relieved himself and then they washed their hands and went back to bed.
Fortunately, there was only one minor screaming incident that night, even though Elliot was in contact with Brandon the entire time. As soon as I heard it, I went in to see if I could help again and sat on the other side of the bed. Eventually, I started to sing the lullaby and Elliot began to calm down. I wasn’t certain if it was the lyrics or the melody that produced the soothing effect, because I was positive it wasn’t my vocal ability. When I’d finished, Brandon looked at me and spoke.
“Danny told me you did that the other night and Elliot calmed right down,” he explained. “I figured it was probably just a coincidence, but I don’t believe that now. You’ll have to teach us that song, so we can sing it to him too.”
I agreed I would and then went back to my room. After that little outburst, Elliot slept peacefully throughout the remainder of the night.
I got up the following morning and replaced Brandon, as he got ready for work. Elliot was sleeping peacefully, so I didn’t bother him and, instead, set about jotting down some ideas concerning the funeral. I was still doing this when he awoke.
As the day progressed, I noticed that Elliot was starting to show some signs of improvement. Without explanation, he began to do a few simple things on his own, although his movements were very stiff and mechanical. In fact, Elliot seemed to be functioning entirely by rote, without exerting any conscious thought into his actions. However, the important thing was that he was doing these things by himself, without someone directing him.
This left me free to call the funeral home and church, so I could set up appointments to speak with them about the funeral arrangements. The funeral director was willing to see me almost immediately, so I set up a later time with our minister. I then made sure Elliot got ready to go with me, because I couldn’t leave him alone. Although I didn’t want him to be part of the decision making process, I still needed to take him with me. What else could I do with him? I couldn’t wait until Dion and Trey came home from work so they could watch him, because it would be too late. Besides, I didn’t think Elliot would understand most of what was taking place, since his condition hadn’t improved that greatly.
When we got to the funeral home, I explained the situation to the funeral director and told him we’d like to have a brief calling hour before the church service. We ended up agreeing to do this at 1:30 on Saturday and then we could hold the church service sometime thereafter. Next, I went with him to pick out the casket that Mr. Kennedy would be laid to rest in. I also pointed out the type of vault I felt would be appropriate and then asked him if he could arrange for one to be delivered to the cemetery where Mr. Kennedy had his plot. After I gave him the name of the cemetery and its location, he agreed to take care of doing that for me.
Once I finished up there, I drove over to the church next. Even though Elliot had been at my side the entire time we were at the funeral home, I was fairly certain that not much of anything had registered with him. He seemed stuck in his daze and did nothing that would indicate he knew what was going on. I hope some day he’ll realize and appreciate what we did for him, but that is something that could be a long way down the road from now.
At the church, I got the minister to agree to hold the funeral at 3:00 and then gave him what information I had concerning Mr. Kennedy. After I’d finished doing this, he told me what other types of information he’d like to have, so I jotted down a few notes, to keep from forgetting anything. I then promised to get back to him with the answers as quickly as I could. Once I felt everything had been covered, I took Elliot and drove over to the florist next.
At this point, I had no idea as to how many people would be attending the funeral, but I wanted to make certain there were at least a few floral arrangements to adorn the area beside the casket. I took Elliot in with me and tried to get him to help select the arrangement that would be from him. I’m not certain if he actually responded or not, but I thought his eyes seemed to light up a bit when the florist showed him a picture of a floral blanket, which was made up of red roses and white carnations. It would be placed over the lower half of the coffin and include the word ‘Dad’ on it. I had a very strong feeling that Elliot wanted this particular item, so I ordered it. I also selected another arrangement, which would come from our family and would be placed on a stand near the head of the casket.
Once we finished up the last of these details, I drove Elliot home. I spent the rest of the afternoon with him once we got there and tried to reassure him that we were doing our best to ensure that everything will be perfect. Then I took care of his physical needs, by fixing him some lunch before I did anything else.
Elliot was still at my side when I picked up the phone to contact the person from the coroner’s office who had called me in the first place, to find out who was making the arrangements. I asked him to have Mr. Kennedy’s body transferred to the funeral home and he told me there was a suit in with Mr. Kennedy’s belongings, which the police had delivered with the body. He said if it met with my approval, he’d tell the funeral director to bury Mr. Kennedy in this garment, to save us the time, effort and expense of purchasing something else. I thanked him for doing that and then requested he forward any paperwork or other appropriate information there as well. He agreed, so I moved on to the next task.
I then called Mr. Kennedy’s employer and gave the HR manager the appropriate information, so she could share it with Mr. Kennedy’s co-workers. I also asked her to see if she could collect some anecdotal information that could be used during the funeral service, to make the eulogy more personal. She agreed to my request, so I thanked her for her help and told her I awaited her speedy reply.
Later, after Danny and Brandon returned home from work, I shared the details about what I had done with them. They thanked me for taking care of this and then took Elliot with them, so they could spend some family time with their foster son.
I spent much of Friday double checking all of the details for the funeral, in order to make certain that nothing had been overlooked. Once again, Elliot was by my side the entire time and I was beginning to feel as if he might be aware of what was going on. He seemed to cling to me a little more tightly than he had the day before and I felt this might be directly related to his having been with me as we made the arrangements for his father’s funeral. In turn, this caused me to suspect that he had come to the realization that he would soon be seeing his earthly remains for the final time.
I wanted to make this as easy for Elliot as I could, so I kept one arm wrapped around him throughout much of the day. I was able to take a slight break from doing this when Jesse and Joshie returned home from school, since they also wanted to spend time with Elliot and I agreed that would be fine. Enthusiastically, the pair talked to Elliot and told him about their day, but they also let him know they cared about him and that he was safe with us. I think they were forming a bond with Elliot too, at least to a limited extent.
As soon as Danny and Brandon returned home, I explained my suspicions that Elliot might partially understand what is going on. After listening to my observations, they thanked me and then took over caring for Elliot for the rest of the evening.