After leaving Yellowstone, we stopped for dinner and then got back on the bus for the ride to Cody, Wyoming, our next stop. Once we arrived and checked in to our motel, everyone went to his room. It wasn’t very long, however, before Graham was knocking on my door. It seemed he had a problem.
“Dad, may I stay here with you tonight?” he asked. I was curious as to why he was requesting this, but could tell by looking at his face that something was definitely bothering him.
“What’s up, sport?” I asked, trying to get to the root of this problem.
“I just want to stay in here with you tonight, cuz I feel really lonely,” he replied, unconvincingly.
“Did someone do something to you?” I pressed, hoping to clarify the situation.
“No, Dad, it’s nothing like that,” he assured me, but then hesitated before continuing. “I guess it’s just that the name of this place reminded me about how much I miss Cody. I figured it would make it easier being with you, since we were all together for such a long time when Cody was sick.”
Suddenly, the lights began flashing in my brain. Even though this place was named for Buffalo Bill Cody, the fact that the name Cody was involved at all reminded Graham about his loss. It also made him look for a little extra security by being with me again, the same way he had when we stayed with Cody in the hospital. Now, I wondered how many of the other boys had drawn this same correlation. I hoped it was only Graham who had done so, because of his special relationship with our lost lamb, but I wasn’t certain. After telling him he could spend the night, I left him with Jake temporarily, after explaining I needed to check on the others first. Before I left, however, I promised I would return shortly.
After making my rounds, I discovered a couple of the other boys had also been reminded of Cody since arriving here, possibly because Graham had mentioned something about it to them, but they didn’t seem to be as greatly affected as he was. We talked briefly about what they were feeling, and after I was certain they could handle their problems without my assistance, I went back to see if I could comfort Graham.
I entered my room and sat on one of the chairs in front of the television. No sooner had I settled in, than Graham came over, sat on my lap and placed his head on my shoulder, with one arm around the back of my neck and the other across my chest. This seemed a strange thing for him to do, seeing he was sixteen now, but it did emphasize how much the reminder of his lost love was troubling him. I gave him a little squeeze and then he started to speak, in a hushed voice.
“Dad, I miss him sooooo much,” he began, but he wasn’t yet weeping. However, I could sense the emotional buildup he was choking back in his voice.
“Graham, I know how you feel, because I miss him too,” I commiserated. “I wish I could tell you the pain will go away some day, but I’m not sure it ever disappears. I still feel the same way about losing Brent, but I guess we just need to be thankful and feel blessed we had both of them in our lives for as long as we did.”
“I know, but it just hurts so much when I think about him,” Graham confided. “I think about what it was like when we were together and then try to imagine what it would be like if he was still here. When I do that, then I begin to feel really bad and miss him even more.” I stroked his back to help console him, while giving him another little squeeze.
“Graham, I think it’s great you think about Cody this way,” I informed him, “but you can’t keep torturing yourself by wondering what it would be like if he were still around. That won’t happen, so it does no good to even consider it, especially since it makes you feel so badly when you do. Remember your time together and the great fun you had with him, but most of all remember what he meant to all of us. Just don’t dwell on it so much that you only see the negative side of things and get so depressed.
“Cody was a very special young man,” I continued, “who made a great impact on our lives during the short time he was here. He also left an indelible impression on each of us and it is something we shall carry with us for the rest of our lives. It’s important we use those memories to remind us how special he was, but we must also be careful not to torment our souls by speculating about what might have been.” Graham looked up at me and studied my face. I could see the gears moving behind those tear-filled eyes and hoped he was going to let me in on what he was thinking.
“I know and at least I still get to see him once in a while, when he appears to me,” he agreed, “but it’s just not the same. I can’t hold or kiss him then, and I can’t show him how much I love him. I don’t think I’ll be able to love another boy like I did him, Dad. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yes, I think I do,” I concurred, “but I also want you to remember this. Throughout our lives we will know many types of love and each one will be different and special. There is the love a child has for his parent or a parent has for his child. There is also the love friends have for each other, but then there are times we also FALL in love. Just don’t forget whenever you fall in love, even those occurrences are not the same.
“I fell in love with my wife, but I’ve also fallen in love with Jake,” I continued. “Although I fell in love with each of them, the love I felt was not the same. Even though the feelings were different, one isn’t more precious than the other. I love or have loved them both, but it doesn’t mean one type of love was greater than the other. Don’t get me wrong, you may also experience one great love that you will always cherish above all else and affects you more deeply, but it doesn’t mean you can’t love again.
“I’m glad Cody was that one great love for you,” I added, “but I know Cody wouldn’t want you spending the rest of your life alone. He’d be the first to encourage you to move on and find happiness again. That doesn’t mean you have to forget him, nor should it lessen what he meant to you. You must always retain the memories of what you had together, while at the same time be willing to move on with your life and continue to live, not merely exist.”
I stopped after saying this and waited for him to respond. After a minute or so of thinking about what I had told him, he finally gave a brief nod of agreement, before he put his head back on my shoulder and snuggled up against me. We talked a little more after that, and at one point I thought he might go back to his own room, but he didn’t. Instead, he asked if he could stay with me for the rest of the night. Knowing how much he needed me at this point, the three of us ended up sharing our bed.
I was in the middle, with Jake on my right and Graham on my left. I ended up spooned up behind Graham for most of the night, but not in a sexual way. I was merely a father comforting a distressed child and it seemed to work. Before long, I felt the tension in his body start to release, as he began to drift off to sleep.
The three of us spent the entire night snuggled together, with me sandwiched between the other two. Jake was very understanding and even encouraged me to focus on Graham. I guess it helped that we’d had some time alone before this happened, otherwise he may have reacted differently.
Feeling slightly guilty, I was trying to come up with a way I could satisfy both. I didn’t want to appear to always be putting Jake second, behind the boys, but I truly believed he also felt the boys needed to come first, at least for now. I think we both realized they’d be gone in a few more years and then we’d have all the time we needed to enjoy each other.
By the next morning, Graham seemed to have overcome his feelings of depression and loss and was ready to take his place with the others again. Throughout the meal, I noticed various boys interacting with him, as they attempted to distract or offer him comfort and support. I was very proud to see how willing they were to be there for one another.
I’ve always tried to stress the importance of family, by telling them that although others may move in and out of our lives, the family is always there. It is the one, and possibly only, constant they should always be able to rely on. Therefore, I emphasized the importance of being there for each other. Thinking about it, I wished my older children had also learned this lesson.
After breakfast, we began our sightseeing by going to the ‘Buffalo Bill Historical Center.’ We started in the Buffalo Bill Museum, which focused on both his personal and public life. We soon discovered he was born William Frederick Cody and earned his nickname while supplying buffalo meat for the Kansas Pacific Railroad. He was also a Pony Express rider in 1860 and eventually became one of the most famous scouts during the Indian Wars. He also won the Congressional Medal of Honor, in 1872, and was a favorite scout of the Fifth Cavalry.
In 1883 he inaugurated the Wild West show in Omaha, using ‘real’ cowboys and ‘real’ Indians to portray the ‘real’ west to the rest of the country and the world. The Wild West show not only performed before presidents and heads of European nations, but it was also the featured attraction at Queen Victoria’s Golden Jubilee, in 1887. This helped Buffalo Bill become one of the most famous figures to ever come out of the Old West. Even though we were all somewhat familiar with his legend, I think we came away from there with a better appreciation for the real man.
From there, we went to the Cody Firearms Museum, where they not only have on display a vast collection of antique and modern weapons, but also trace the progression of firearms from the matchlock, to the flintlock and then to percussion type weapons. The Winchester collection was also featured in the museum, along with an exhibit of Colt firearms, as well. It was quite an interesting and remarkable presentation and gave us a better understanding of what it would have been like to not only have settled the west, but also what it would have been like to fight in the French and Indian War, Revolutionary War and Civil War, using the weapons of those time periods.
By this point, everyone was getting hungry, so we stopped and devoured a quick lunch, before heading over to the Plains Indian Museum. There, we learned a great deal about the lives of the Plains Indians, including information about their culture, traditions, values and history. Not only that, but we also discovered some facts about their lives today. I think the boys were amazed by what they learned, especially when compared to the way Hollywood and television has portrayed Native Americans, and they began to realize some of the things they had been led to believe were far removed from reality.
After finishing up there, we went to the Whitney Gallery of Western Art, which included works by Frederic Remington, Charles M. Russell, Joseph Henry Sharp, N. C. Wyeth and others. These people actually lived during the period of the old west and produced works of art that were more authentic. Although they may have romanticized some aspects of the period, their work gives a far truer perspective of what it was like during that period, than what we have been spoon-fed by other forms of media.
It was about this time when I began to notice the boys were at their saturation point with Museums. At the same time, I also realized they were getting hungry again. In an effort to improve their spirits, I located a nice restaurant and led them inside. Over the next hour, we enjoyed a relaxing meal, accompanied by a great deal of conversation. The topics were mostly concerning the things we’d seen, but the boys also tried to wheedle out of me what I had planned next. Of course, their efforts proved fruitless, since I prefer to surprise them.
Once we left the restaurant, I explained we’d be heading back to our rooms, since we were going to stay in Cody for one more night. After that, I informed them they could select their own entertainment this evening and hoped this would placate them for having to endure activities that were less to their liking. I then advised them about some of the places they could go or other things they could do, but I also advised them Jake and I would be available if any of them wished to join us for the evening. We had decided to spend it in the large, heated, outdoor pool.
Many of the boys rejected that option and chose to explore the nightlife in Cody instead. I suspected they would quickly discover it wasn’t quite what they were looking for, since it would probably be country and western oriented, which isn’t in line with their tastes or something most of them would appreciate. Before they left, however, I also reminded them they were to stay in groups of three or more, since I preferred not to take chances with their safely.
I saw the boys talking excitedly amongst themselves, as they decided who would be going where and with whom, when Graham informed me he’d be staying with Jake and I again. I wasn’t really surprised by his announcement, although I’d hoped he’d join some of the others when they went out. I thought the distraction might be good for him, but now surmised he wasn’t quite ready for that step yet. However, he wouldn’t be the only one staying behind. A few seconds later, Andrew and Sammy expressed their desire to stay with us and go swimming too, and then Peter, Ricky and Cole announced they had also decided to join us.
Once everyone had determined what they were going to do, they went back to their rooms to change and go their various ways. Those who were staying with us were soon at our door, dressed in their swimsuits and carrying a towel. We walked to the pool together and took our first dip in its inviting water. As the evening wore on, more of the boys returned and joined us in the pool too, after they discovered the local entertainment wasn’t what they were hoping for. Those of us who spent our time swimming and horsing around in the pool had a great deal of fun.
I was mildly surprised when Graham came to me a short time later and explained he wouldn’t be staying with me tonight. I wasn’t sure what he might have planned this evening, since I could tell he wasn’t over what he’d been feeling, but I was even more stunned when he told me he was going to his room now. However, it all became clear when I learned Peter was going with him.
Graham had accepted Peter’s offer to spend the night together, after Peter had seen how depressed and lethargic Graham was. Once Peter had learned how this place had reminded Graham about how much he missed Cody, Peter decided it would be a good time for them to do what Graham had originally suggested. Peter hoped it would perk Graham up and take his mind off of thinking about what he’d lost.
Since Graham was staying with Sammy, Andrew and Cole, he hinted about what he was going to do and asked them to give him some time alone with Peter. They had no problem with that, since they’d probably be spending at least another hour or more in the pool, so the two boys went off for a little mutual exploration.
Since Peter had decided to do this to perk Graham up, he was also determined he’d go along with whatever Graham wanted to do. When they got to the room, they quickly shed their swimsuits and hopped on the bed, before Peter poised his question.
“I’m willing to do whatever you want to do,” Peter announced, much to Graham’s surprise. He thought about it quickly and then replied.
“Would you mind if we sucked each other off then?” he asked hopefully.
Graham was much more experienced than Peter, but Peter only hesitated momentarily. Although he had performed oral sex only once before, he was willing to do it for Graham, with one condition.
“We can do that,” he agreed, “but I want you to warn me before you sploog. I don’t want you doing it in my mouth.”
Once Graham agreed, Peter offered to do him first. Excited, Graham spread his legs to give Peter access to the entire area and then waited for Peter to begin. Peter reached out and began running his hand over Graham’s crotch, rubbing his scrotum and slowly bringing his penis to its full dimensions. Once Graham was totally erect, Peter bent forward and tentatively began exploring the area with his tongue.
“Tastes a little like the chlorine from the pool,” Peter announced, while making a slight face.
“I can go wash if you want,” Graham offered.
“That’s all right. I’ll just get a washcloth and wipe you off,” Peter suggested. “That should take care of the problem.”
Peter immediately jumped off the bed and raced to the bathroom. When he came back, he used the washcloth to thoroughly remove the chlorine from Graham’s genitals, before resuming what he’d been doing.
Slowly, Peter ran his tongue up and down the length of Graham’s penis, before slowly pulling back the foreskin and exposing the head. After running his tongue around the helmet, he let his mouth slide over the tip and began to bob up and down on the shaft. Although he wasn’t experienced, he did an adequate job and after a few minutes of this activity, he brought Graham to the brink.
“I’m… about to… shoot,” Graham panted.
Peter immediately pulled his mouth off and replaced it with his hand, so he could finish Graham off manually. Graham shot several volleys of his boy-juice and coated his belly with the sticky substance. Once he had surrendered everything his body had produced, Peter took the washcloth and cleaned up the results. It took a few minutes more before Graham recovered enough to return the favor.
“Okay, now I’ll do you,” he announced, still slightly giddy.
“Are you certain?” Peter asked. He wanted to let Graham know he could do something else, if he preferred.
“Oh, yeah,” Graham replied. “I’ve been waiting to do this since I saw Ricky’s video of you two skinny dipping.” Peter looked stunned by this reminder of Ricky’s sneakiness, but then laughed.
“That long, huh?” he teased.
“Yes, I knew then that I wanted to play with your penis and suck you dry,” Graham told him.
“Then enjoy yourself,” Peter shot back, while pumping his hips up and down, to simulate a sexual act.
Graham did not hesitate and immediately went down on Peter. Peter wasn’t even erect yet, but Graham quickly used his mouth to get the desired results. Peter responded rapidly to Graham’s actions and was hard within seconds. Graham’s experienced mouth soon had Peter moaning and bucking wildly, and then Peter stiffened momentarily, as he unloaded into Graham throat. Volley after volley of his hot boy cream slid down Graham’s gullet, and once Peter had recovered, he began to apologize profusely.
“I meant to warn you, really I did,” he stammered, “but it just happened so quickly. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.” Graham just smiled at his shocked reaction.
“It’s okay,” Graham assured him. “I do that all the time. It’s no big deal.”
“You do?” Peter challenged, in disbelief.
“Yes, it doesn’t taste bad at all.” Graham replied.
“What does it taste like?” Peter wanted to know.
“It’s hard to explain,” Graham told him, “but you could try it once, to find out. You might even try some of your own, after you cum next time.” Peter looked slightly surprised by this suggestion, but thought about it briefly.
“I’ll do this with you again and I’ll let you sploog in my mouth next time,” he offered. “I guess I could do that for you, since you did it for me.”
“You don’t have to, if you don’t want,” Graham offered.
“It’s all right,” Peter assured him. “I guess it won’t kill me, seeing you, and I suspect some of the others, do it.” Both boys smiled and then lay next to each other for a while, before the others returned.
That night, Peter spent the night sleeping next to Graham. In fact, he even cuddled with him, after many minutes of self-debate and doubts about whether he should do it. Eventually, he decided it would be all right and wouldn’t mean he was gay. He’d just be like Ricky and ready to help a brother in need. I’m sure if Cody had been watching, he would have given his approval about what went on.
The rest of us swam for quite a while, and by the time we returned to our individual rooms, we were quite tired and ready for a good night’s sleep. When Cole saw Peter snuggled up against his brother, he wasn’t jealous. Instead, he realized Peter was just trying to make Graham feel better, so he went to Peter’s room and asked Ricky if he could take Peter’s place and spend the night with him. Ricky quickly agreed and this solved the problem for the other pair. They could now stay together until morning.
After breakfast, we loaded up and headed off to Thermopolis and the Wyoming Dinosaur Center. I didn’t explain to the boys exactly where we were going, only that they would find it interesting. Although they kept pestering me, and then Jake, to learn what our destination was going to be, neither of us would give in. We were determined not to tell them what they wanted to know.
The bus driver, having overheard these exchanges, helped keep our secret whenever one of our more inquisitive boys tried to pry the information out of him. It was worth it just to see their reactions when we pulled into the area and they saw the sign announcing where we were. Instinctively, they seemed intrigued by the idea of dinosaurs and what they might see and do here.
We began by taking a tour of the dig sites, but not all of them, since there are about 60 dig sites on the 500 acres the Center covered. We soon learned about the geology of the area, as well as when and where specific dinosaur bones had been found at this location. We were also apprised as to how these excavations are conducted and I think the boys were surprised to discover it was done following a very methodical process. Each bone was carefully chipped out of the ground it had been compressed into and this process takes a very long time. It requires great care and the type of patience of which most of my brood seemed to be in short supply.
After learning how the bones were recovered, we went to the museum and explored over 12,000 square feet of exhibition space. Not only were there fossils, dioramas and interactive displays, but we were also able to inspect ten full-size skeletal mounts, which represented various dinosaur species. Although we all realized how large these creatures were before we got here, until you stand next to what remains of one of these gigantic beasts, you can’t fully appreciate how small you really are in the overall scheme of things. I felt like a grasshopper standing next to a dog, while craning my neck to look up at the upper reaches of these truly enormous beings.
“We’ve studied dinosaurs in school and I’ve seen programs about them,” Peter explained, “but they are bloody huge – much bigger than I thought. I guess it’s a good thing humans weren’t around when they lived, because the people wouldn’t have lasted very long. They’d have become extinct quicker than the dodo bird.”
Some of the boys nodded in agreement, and although I don’t think he meant this to be humorous, others giggled after hearing his comment.