Ted and his Aunt Jane left on Saturday, after lunch. Although Ted was sad he had to return home, I could tell he was also hopeful that Jane could possibly help him build a relationship with his father. He made sure he came over to hug me before he left and it was a long and tender embrace, with his ear resting over my heart. When he broke his hold, he then gave me a kiss on the lips. It was just an affectionate little peck, not the passionate, open-mouth variety, and I knew he meant this to indicate how much he cared for me.
I noticed Jane watching his every move, but she was grinning as broadly as he was when it was all over. As Ted started to walk away, I tousled his hair and then smacked him playfully on the butt, when he got ready to get into her car. That caused him to turn his head and make a face at me, before he wiggled his fanny in my direction. He then looked over his shoulder and winked, smiled and said, “I love you, Uncle Pop,” before he crawled into the passenger’s seat. As they drove away, he waved and blew kisses at us until they were out of sight. I knew Sammy, Graham and I would miss him as much as he missed us.
Now that our company had departed, the rest of us had our own things to take care of. The high school boys would be heading back to class on Monday, but the college boys had another week or two at home before they had to return, so they wouldn’t be affected. They could take it easy while the rest of us got back into our normal routines.
I had those not in college check to make sure their school clothes were clean, they had their books and other things in order, including any assignments that might be due. I also asked them to think if there was anything special they might need, before they returned. While the boys were busy doing all of this, I got my own things in order, since I knew I needed to be ready to return to work as well.
After I finished my preparations, I hopped on the computer to check my correspondence and discovered an email from Nick. I opened it immediately.
Hi Pop,
Mom and Dad just left and we had a great time. They met my host family and I showed them around where I’ve been living and then we went to Sao Paulo. We didn’t stay there long, because they took me on a trip to Rio de Janeiro and Brasilia. We had a great time there too. We went to see Maracana Stadium, which is huge. They use it mostly for soccer games, but they also hold concerts there. They say it holds 90,000 people.
We also went to see the Statue of Christ the Redeemer, which sits atop the Corcovado Mountains and overlooks Rio. It’s a huge statue of Christ with his arms held out to his side, in the form of a giant cross. We went up to the top of the mountain to see it too and the view was awesome. You could see all the beaches and everything.
We also went to see the Governor’s Palace, the Metropolitan Cathedral and the Imperial Palace. They were all nice, but the best part was going to the beaches. It’s summer down here, so it was just great. We spent a lot of time there and I met a really cute boy one day, but I’ll tell you about that when I get back.
Oh, and thanks for all the stuff you sent. It was really great. Thank you for doing that for me.
I’ll be coming home in April, but I’ve promised Mom and Dad I’d come spend the month of June with them. I hope you don’t mind. I’ve had a blast here, but I can’t wait to come back there, cuz I miss all of you.
Love you all and will see you in a few months,
Nick
I was pleased to hear from Nick, although I actually thought I’d be hearing from his parents first. They must still be on their way home and unable to contact me. I printed a copy of Nick’s email, so the boys could read it too. Then, I put it on the fridge, where they would be most likely to see it, during one of their multiple raids.
That night, Jake and I got to spend some quiet time alone, but he asked me how things had gone with Ted and what I thought might happen next. I told him I didn’t know, but I was hopeful Ted could work things out at home, with his Aunt Jane’s help. If he didn’t, we’d go over his other options at that time.
Jake said he understood, but expected Ted would be calling to join us soon. Jake said this because he wasn’t convinced Ted wanted to work things out with his parents. He admitted he’d been studying how Ted idolized me and noticed how Ted watched and mirrored my every move. Jake also said he felt Ted would want to come back, so he could be closer to me. Although I didn’t totally agree with his conclusions, I did respect his viewpoint and told him I’d keep that in mind.
The next morning we went off to church, as usual, and then we went out for Sunday brunch. We’d been home for an hour or so when the phone rang, and then I heard the familiar, “Dad, it’s for you,” coming from one of the boys, so I went to answer it.
“Hello,” I began.
“Uncle Pop, it’s Richard!” the voice said, like I wouldn’t have realized it was Richard from just hearing the Uncle Pop. However, I could also tell something was wrong, because he sounded panicked, although I wasn’t sure why.
“Richard, what’s the matter?” I asked, concerned.
“It’s Dad. He’s had a heart attack or something,” he told me. “I’ve called 911 and we’re waiting for the ambulance now. Mom’s aide has been helping him, but I’m going with him to the hospital. The aide said she’d watch mom while we were gone. Would you meet us at the hospital? Please? I don’t think I can do this alone.” He was almost sobbing now.
“Yes, Richard, I’ll meet you there. Just keep calm and breathe deeply,” I urged him. “You don’t need to hyperventilate and make matters worse. Hang in there and I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
As soon as I hung up, Jake and the others began asking questions. I told them what I could, as I grabbed my coat and car keys, and then I headed for the door. My mind was whirling with a myriad of thoughts, as I considered what was happening to Albert. Along with Arlene’s situation, this was the worst-case scenario for Richard.
I didn’t want to be pessimistic about what was happening, but felt I had to work various options out in my mind, so I’d be prepared for whatever might come. Richard would need my guidance and advice, because this would be a very emotional time for him and he wouldn’t be thinking clearly. I pulled into the parking lot and then raced to the emergency room.
As soon as I entered, I saw Richard pacing back and forth in the waiting area. About the same time, he happened to look up and saw me coming toward him. I could see the tears streaming down his cheeks and his chest was heaving, as he tried to keep from breaking down.
“He’s dead,” he gasped out, and then he let loose his emotions and began to cry. “He had another heart attack in the ambulance and they couldn’t save him.”
Richard was sobbing frantically now and I was having difficulty keeping my own emotions under control. I just held him tight, fearing I’d have trouble choking out a response.
“I want to see him,” Richard suddenly announced, catching me totally off guard.
“Are you sure?” I asked, thinking this might not be the time for him to try to deal with seeing his father’s body. I thought it might be best for him to wait and do this at the funeral home, when it might be easier to cope with.
“Yes, Uncle Pop. I have to say good-bye,” he announced, adamantly. I knew what he meant, since I’ve gone through this myself and watched my boys deal with similar situations, so I gave in to his request.
“Okay, let me go check with the nurses,” I replied, “but you wait here until I come back for you. All right?” He nodded and I went off to set this up for him. We had to wait a few minutes, so the staff could make Albert presentable, and then they let us in.
“Do you want to do this by yourself?” I asked.
“I’m not sure I can. Will you go with me? Please?” came his answer. He knew I’d do whatever he wanted.
We went into the room where they had tried to resuscitate Albert. The nurses had cleaned up his body and pulled a sheet, up to his chest. Richard tentatively walked up beside the gurney and reached out to touch his father’s hand. He sat there that way for a moment, before he began to speak.
“I already miss you, Dad,” he sobbed out, “and I hope you know I love you and always will. Even though we’ve only been together a few short years, you and Mom are the most important people in my life and you’ve done more for me than you can ever imagine. I love you both dearly and thank you for everything you did for me. I will definitely be lost without you here.”
Suddenly, he stopped talking and just stood motionless, but I could see his body begin to tense up. I wasn’t sure what was happening, or if I should try to console him, but finally the floodgates opened and his dam burst.
“Dad, why did you have to be so stubborn? Why did you have to tell the overnight aide we didn’t need her any more? Why didn’t you let Uncle Pop and the boys help? Didn’t you love me enough to let them do that for us? I need you and now you aren’t here for me. Why didn’t you love me enough to swallow your pride and accept their help?”
I could no longer remain in the background after hearing this, so I moved forward and wrapped my arms around him from behind. It was my way of reminding him I was still here for him.
“Richard, he did love you and that’s why he did what he did,” I began “He felt it was important that you and he take care of your mother, not a bunch of outsiders. He was showing you he’d do anything for the ones he loved and make any sacrifice necessary to care for them. Don’t blame him or think he didn’t love you, because he did, from the very depths of his soul.” I looked at Richard, to see if he comprehended what I told him. When I saw he did, I continued.
“I know this, because he’s told me so on very many occasions,” I added. “Instead of hating him now or dwelling on what he did, let your love for him show through. If he can still see you, he probably feels badly enough about leaving you alone, but there’s nothing he can do about that now.” I held Richard tightly and eventually felt the tightness ebb from his body. As this happened, he began to sob hysterically.
“I do still love him, Uncle Pop, except I don’t know what I’m going to do now,” he stated, while turning his head around, so he could look at my face. His eyes were pleading with me to give him some sort of answer about what was going to happen next.
“Don’t worry,” I told him. “Remember what I said at Thanksgiving. We take care of family and you’re family, so we’ll take care of you too.”
“I know, but I can’t run the farm and take care of mom on my own,” he confessed. “I’m not even sure if you guys can help me do that, even though I know you’ll try.”
“Richard, let’s not worry about that now,” I urged. “We’ll work things out, but tell me how this happened.” Richard stood wrapped in thought for a few more seconds, before he spoke again.
“I don’t think Dad had been sleeping much,” he told me, trying to rationalize what had occurred, “but he was still doing all the work around the farm. If he hadn’t told the overnight aide we didn’t need her, this probably wouldn’t have happened,” he stated again. It appeared he still felt the need to blame someone or something for what happened.
“I should have been more insistent about letting us help cover that shift,” I admitted, as a way of taking away some of his guilt. “It’s just that I knew your father very well and didn’t want to offend him by pressuring him in to accepting our offer. Damn it all. The aide schedule goes back to full coverage tomorrow, so why did this have to happen today?”
Now, I was also blaming myself for not MAKING Albert accept our help, for if I had, it’s possible he wouldn’t have had this heart attack. Finally, however, I came back to my senses and realized I needed to be there for Richard and not dealing with other issues. With this in mind, I began to offer him some comfort.
“Richard, I think you know your parents made me your legal guardian,” I advised him, “should something happen to them. They did this so you’d always have a home.”
“I know, but what about mom?” he asked, while looking at me. I could tell he was deeply concerned about her future, not just his own.
“We’ll take care of her too,” I added. “The aides will help and we’ll make things work.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, still unconvinced. “She’ll be terribly confused and upset by this, so she’ll probably be hard to deal with.” I could read the worry written all over his face.
“We’ll get through it. I promise,” I told him, hoping that would be enough to reassure him.
“Uncle Pop, I’ve lost them both now,” Richard sobbed, before burying his face into my chest. He was crying forcefully, so I let him continue to release the anguish he was feeling for a few more minutes. Eventually, he stopped and looked up at me again.
“Mom doesn’t even know who I am most of the time any more and she gets sooooo confused,” he confessed. “I really have lost them both now, you know.”
“That may be true, but you still have me and the boys,” I suggested, just to let him know he’d never be alone. “You’ll come live with us and we’ll take care of your mother too.”
“But what about the farm?” Richard asked, very concerned.
“We’ll talk about that later, but we’ll work something out about the farm as well,” I offered. “Will that be all right with you?”
Richard merely nodded, but didn’t speak this time. Since I felt he’d had a chance to say what he’d intended, I decided it was time for him to say his final good-bye. Then, I’d take him with me for a while, to give him a chance to grieve and work through his problems in relative seclusion. The aides would be with Arlene for the rest of the day and that would give us a chance to figure something out, before the final aide left for the day.
Richard was still hesitant about leaving his father’s body, but I finally pried him away and drove us home. I knew the boys would do whatever was needed to help him work through this, once we got there, so that didn’t concern me.
The boys were very helpful and did everything they could to make Richard feel better. The minute I felt Richard was okay without me, I broke away and ran to grab the phone. Then, I started calling our extended family, to let them know what had happened. Even though they all expressed grief over Albert’s loss, the Spences went a step further.
“Josh, you can’t take care of Richard AND Arlene,” Margaret informed me. “Let us take Arlene in with us. She feels an attachment to me and with the aides helping out, I’m sure we can handle it.”
“Margaret, I appreciate the offer, but this may be more than you can or should be taking on,” I countered.
“Nonsense,” she responded, more emphatically than I expected. “You said it perfectly at Thanksgiving – we do what we have to do to help the family, and John and I want to do this. It will be fine.”
“Margaret, I really do appreciate your offer,” I told her, “but such a change will be hard on Arlene.”
“Any change will be hard on Arlene, whether she comes to live with you, with us or goes to a home,” Margaret explained, “so that shouldn’t be part of the equation.” She had a point and I had to admit she was right.
“That’s very true, but I’ll have to discuss this with Richard first, before I can give you an answer,” I explained. “I’m not sure he’ll want to be separated from his mother right now.”
“I understand,” she replied, “but please make sure he understands we really WANT to do this for them.”
“I will, Margaret, and I’ll let you know what he decides.” I thought that was more than generous for her and John to offer, but I’m not sure how Richard will react to such an idea. I would discuss it with him, but I didn’t think this was the appropriate time to do it. The first thing we had to attend to was making arrangements for Albert’s funeral.
I went and found Richard, to tell him there were some things we needed to talk about. He followed me into the family room, and as I sat down, he immediately seated himself across my lap and leaned his head upon my shoulder. Rather than bring up the issue of the funeral right away, I just held him and let him get comfortable.
“What is it we need to talk about?” he asked, as he lifted his head and broke the silence.
“I think we need to talk about the funeral arrangements,” I announced, which caused his face to drop a little. “I know this isn’t easy, but it needs to get done, so I must know if your dad ever said anything to you about such a situation.”
“I know we have to do this, so I’ll be okay,” Richard admitted. “Yeah, Dad and I talked about this a little, but it was about Mom at the time. They have plots at the cemetery and they both have life insurance, to cover the costs of the funeral.” That was actually more information than I’d expected him to know.
“Well, that’s a start,” I agreed. “Do you know which cemetery?”
“Yeah, the one near where we live,” Richard confirmed. “You know, down by the old church.” I nodded my head in response.
“Where do you want the funeral and services to be held?” I followed. I could see him thinking hard about this.
“How about like you did for Cody,” he suggested. “That was nice.”
“Fine. Would you like me to make the arrangements for you?” I followed, to take another burden from him.
“Yes, but can I go with you when you do it?” he asked. “I want to help make some of the decisions.” He looked so sad and lost as he said it.
“Of course you can,” I quickly agreed. “Let me make a couple of phone calls and then we’ll be on our way.” He nodded and I went to call the funeral home and the church, to set appointments for us to meet with them. The funeral director told us to come down directly, which I figured he would, and I set up a meeting with the minister immediately afterward. I ran to get something else first, then got Richard and we drove off.