Late Saturday afternoon, my older kids began to leave and return to their own homes with their families. It is always sad to say good-bye to them, but they were all planning to return for either Christmas or New Year’s, so we would see each of them again fairly soon. Once they had all returned to their own lives, the boys slowly moved back into their own rooms. This fascinated Tom as well – that the boys had given up their rooms without complaint to make space for those who no longer lived with us, as if it were some big deal. He later told me that he felt his room was his only sanctuary and refuge from the unhappiness he felt. He went on to say that it was also the only place he could cling to as being just his, so he would never have considered moving out of it to make room for someone else, even for one night. However, he now claimed that staying with us had made him look at things in a whole new light.
By the time Sunday arrived, the three college boys were feeling sad knowing they would have to leave soon. However, first we went to church and then out for brunch, before it was time for them to head back to their respective campuses. Tom, more than the others, found it difficult to say good-bye. He thanked all of us for being so nice and told us he wanted to come back soon, so I immediately reminded him he was always welcome in our home. Jake had volunteered to drive Frankie and Tom back, since Dustin had managed to find another ride, with a friend of his. I happily let Dustin go with this other person, once I’d met him and was convinced he was responsible, but it was nearly midnight before Jake returned home, after making that lengthy round trip. He didn’t have to go to work until Monday afternoon, so it wasn’t a big deal for him, but it did bother me. Even though it had taken a great deal of pressure off of my shoulders, I hated to see him have to make that return trip all by himself. Maybe I should have gone along, just for the ride.
Sunday night, before Jake got back, Sally happened to inform me she had arranged for our mystery boy to visit the following weekend. He would arrive Friday afternoon and then return on Sunday afternoon, but she figured that would give us more than enough time to evaluate his situation. She then went on to explain she had spoken to her contact on Friday and the boy on Saturday, so most of the details had already been ironed out. She had also made arrangements for his transportation here, so all she had to do was to make sure her contact arranged to have the boy driven to the airline terminal, and then Sally would have him picked up and driven to our house. I insisted on being allowed to go along to meet him as soon as he got off of the plane, and after a minor argument concerning this option, Sally finally agreed to have the driver pick me up first, so I could ride along with him.
During our conversation, I also discovered the boy’s name was Alvin Mitchell Rydell and he was 15-years old, but would turn 16 on December 17th. I also learned his hydrocephalus and cerebral palsy didn’t come about until a few weeks after his birth and was the result of having been exposed to bacterial meningitis. By the time this was detected, the damage had already been done and the results would be permanent. Although neither of these conditions was contagious and we didn’t have to worry about anyone catching either of these maladies from him, he would be plagued by the deleterious effects of both for the remainder of his life.
Throughout the following week, I continued my research into each of those conditions, to ensure I was fully prepared to deal with his limitations, should he come to live with us. I needed to know exactly what types of special requirements each might entail, such as special care or modifications to the home. Not only that, but I also planned on coming up with a list of questions to ask him about his particular situation, before I would be able to make my final decision.
In preparation for his arrival, I conducted my initial investigation online and then followed that up with a trip to the library, where I read through numerous medical books and journals. After that, I called and made an appointment with my doctor, to see what other things he might be able to share with me about both conditions. I went in as his last appointment of the day and spent about a half hour discussing the boy’s situation with him, and came away much better prepared to meet the young man in question.
I was a bit uneasy knowing I’d have to ask him many personal details, and even though I didn’t look at it as being an interrogation, I understood he might view it as such. Therefore, I had to make him realize I needed to know exactly what I’d be getting myself into, should I invite him to live with us, and he was the best source I had to gather the appropriate facts. Although I figured I already knew the outcome of this meeting even before it happened, especially if Brent could indeed see in the future and knew more about this person than we did. However, I went through the motions anyway.
That Friday, the driver came by to pick me up, but I was able to talk him into allowing two of my sons to join us on this venture. I rode in front, next to the driver, and we reached the terminal well before his plane landed, which happened a little after 6:00 p.m. He was easy to spot, since he was the only one there using crutches. They were the metal type of crutches, the kind that wrap around the upper arm, and not the wooden type that you place in your armpits. I helped him retrieve his luggage and the driver loaded his bags into the car’s trunk, but the boy hadn’t said very much to me, at least as of yet. He was shorter than I expected, only standing about 5’ 6” tall, but he was kind of cute. He had dyed blond hair and brown eyes, but he also seemed to have this natural glow about him. He appeared to be a happy and well-adjusted person; despite the bad hand life had dealt him, not to mention having to deal with his current ill fortune.
I had brought Kevin and Graham with me, seeing they were the two most involved with his being here, even though Kevin might not yet know how or why. We struck up a conversation with him as we rode back and he quickly confirmed his name was indeed Alvin Mitchell Rydell. When Graham asked him if he liked to be called Al, the young man replied with an emphatic ‘No!’
“I prefer to be called Alvin or Vinnie,” he told us. Obviously the name Vinnie had come from the second half of his proper name, although I would never have considered it an option on my own. “I can’t stand to be called Al,” he continued to inform us, “but I guess it’s probably just me. I knew two other guys named Al, and I despised both of them, so I never wanted to use that name for myself.”
We told him whatever name he wanted to use would be fine with us, and then the boys changed the topic and began to tell him about our family and where we lived. Vinnie was surprised to learn the family was so large, and all boys to boot, but he seemed pleased by nearly everything he heard. The three boys did most of the talking during the entire trip home, and I was happy to have it that way, since I would have to do my share of talking with him once we were alone.
Before we had left home earlier, I had left instructions that dinner should be intentionally delayed until we got back, so we could all eat together and give Vinnie a chance to get to know everyone. When we pulled into the driveway, a horde of boys streamed out the various doors and ran to the car to greet our visitor. I thought this might overwhelm poor Vinnie, but it seemed to have an entirely unexpected effect. As it turned out, he was very pleased that all of the boys had wanted to come out and greet him personally, since he had been afraid some of them might be indifferent, or maybe even hostile, to his coming. I guess seeing them come out to welcome him in this manner had allayed the worst of his fears.
The older boys took his luggage and carried it to my room, as I had informed them he would be using it during his stay, and I’d use the sleeper sofa. Jake also greeted him, once Vinnie came through the door, since he had been watching over the food as it finished cooking. However, Vinnie seemed to be puzzled by his being there. I think it was because he was expecting a woman, not another man, but I adeptly managed to sidestep that issue for now. I figured we could explain it later, if and when it was determined he would be coming to live with us.
After that, I showed him where he could clean up for dinner, gave him a few minutes to himself and then led him into the dining room. Vinnie was impressed by how long the table was and that there was enough room for us all to sit together. Once I guided him to his seat, on my left, I took my place at the head of the table. It had already been prearranged which of the boys would say grace, as was our custom, and then everyone dug in to this special meal. Jake and the boys had certainly outdone themselves with this dinner, and Vinnie felt honored that somehow they had discovered what his favorite foods were and then prepared them for his visit. This reminded me that I’d have to send Sally and her contact a special thank you for providing this little tidbit of information.
All through the meal, the boys either asked Vinnie questions about himself or he was busy asking questions about us. He wanted to know how each of the boys had come to live with me and it was interesting to see how he seemed to relate to some of the stories they told. This was especially true when Trey told his tale, since Trey had lost his family in an accident too. In fact, Trey’s story appeared to give Vinnie a sense of hope and possibly made him realize that life can continue after such tragedies.
After we finished out meal, I let the boys show Vinnie around the house, but only after I questioned him privately about whether he could negotiate the stairs on his own. He told me that he could walk up them, but when coming down he would sit on the top step and slide down the stairs on his butt, as there was too great a chance he could lose his balance and fall down the entire flight. I told him that would be fine, and then I had Danny spread the word to the boys about how Vinnie would negotiate this obstacle later, so no one would think he was just being silly and make an inappropriate comment. Danny did as I asked, and Vinnie’s whole tour went quite well.
After Vinnie got to see the rest of our house, we went into the family room to relax and we put a movie on for entertainment, although the boys spent most of the time either talking or playing cards with Vinnie. When bedtime arrived, I sent the others to their rooms and showed Vinnie to mine. Before he got ready for bed, I told him I would like to talk to him, as I still had a few questions I needed to have answered. He seemed to have no problems with this, especially after I explained that I needed to understand his situation more fully, before I could make a decision. We began by discussing his family and how he came to be orphaned, and then I asked him if he thought he might be interested in coming to live with us.
He hesitated slightly, which began to concern me, but then his lips began to curl slightly, just before he informed me he’d like that very much. He went on to say that he had been pleased by everything he’d seen and how he’d been treated so far, so he already felt like he kind of belonged here. Since he was so positive about it, I felt this would be the appropriate time to discuss the details about his special needs, before I could agree to finalize the arrangement.
“Vinnie, I see you use crutches, and quite well,” I began, “but do you have to use anything else, like maybe a walker or a wheelchair at times?”
“No, I’ve never had to use anything like that,” he confirmed, “but I do wear braces on my legs, under my pants.” With this pronouncement, Vinnie lifted one pant leg and gave me a glimpse of one of his braces.
“Do you wear those all the time?” I asked him.
“Not on weekends, except sometimes if I go someplace,” he explained, “but never around the house.”
“That’s great! Does your condition give you any other problems, besides getting around?” I wondered. “What I mean is, does it affect your speech, your ability to eat or do you ever have seizures?”
“No, none of those things,” he quickly assured me.
“That’s good to hear,” I agreed. “What about any other special items you might need, like special silverware or pen or pencil holders?”
“Nothing, except my crutches,” he confirmed, but then hesitated briefly, before he continued. “Well, there is one other thing…” he added, although he hesitated again and didn’t look convinced he should share this information.
“What would that be?” I asked, trying to encourage him to continue.
“Well, I had mentioned to my parents before they died,” he hesitantly added, “about maybe getting a laptop for me, to help me with schoolwork. I even told that to the social worker when she asked me a similar question. I suppose I could do without it, but it sure would help make things easier for me.”
“Well, we could see what we could do to help you with that,” I agreed, although I didn’t make a firm commitment to get him one. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t playing me first, and asking for this as an added bonus for coming to live with us.
“How about therapy?” I continued, changing the subject. “Do you receive any of this type of assistance and, if so, what kind?”
“I get physical therapy, both regular and pool therapy,” he explained, “and I also do weight training.”
“How often do you do this and what does it involve?” I wanted to know. When I asked him this, Vinnie began to look nervous, almost like he thought I would think this might be too much to have to deal with. I instantly knew I had to reassure him, as I could read the concern on his face.
“I just need to know what kind of things I would need to provide you with,” I explained, trying to ease his concerns, “not that it would prevent me from allowing you to come live here.”
Suddenly, a look of relief spread across Vinnie’s face, almost as if a weight had suddenly been lifted from his shoulders, and he audibly released his breath. I think he had been holding it in since I asked my initial question, because he was concerned his answer might impact my decision-making. In response, I merely reached out, tousled his hair and gave him a wink, which seemed to help him relax even more. Eventually, he began to share these details with me.
“Well, I do have physical therapy three times a week, both the regular and the pool therapy, like I said,” he told me. “It takes about an hour and a half to do both, with a half-hour in the pool and the rest out.”
“What type of things do you do during those times?” I wanted to know.
“Mostly stretches, to help strengthen the muscles and keep them loose,” he quickly advised me.
“Okay, I see what you’re getting at,” I agreed. “I suppose we could work something out with the YMCA or the school, to use their pool, or could you do the same things in a Jacuzzi?”
“A Jacuzzi would work fine,” Vinnie quickly agreed.
“Great, I’ve been thinking about having one put in anyway,” I explained, “so this would be a good excuse to do it. We’ll build a small addition off the downstairs bathroom and put it in there.”
“You don’t have to go to all that trouble,” Vinnie quickly countered, fearing he was already becoming too much of an imposition. “I can do them at the Y or at school, if that would be easier.”
“Well, you can do them there if you want,” I agreed, “but I still think I’m going to put the Jacuzzi in anyway,” I added, to relieve him of his concerns that he might become more trouble than he was worth.
Vinnie looked up at me and smiled, as he knew I would be doing this mainly for him, even though I tried to make it sound like I was going to have it put in for my use. He had a cute smile and it was infectious, so I couldn’t help but smile back at him. We sat like this for a few seconds, just looking at each other and smiling, before I asked him the next question.
“You also mentioned weight training,” I continued. “What do you use, what types of things do you do during these sessions and how often do you workout and for how long?”
“Well, I do leg extensions and toes raises twice a week,” he replied, “and I can use a leg lift or leg extender to do it with.”
“What are those? I’m not sure I’m familiar with them,” I responded.
“Well, a leg lift is a bench you sit on and put your leg under a bar,” he explained, “which you lift up with your leg. The extender is a piece of equipment that you sit on the seat, put both feet on a surface and then use your legs to push the seat backward.”
“Is the leg lift what a place-kicker or soccer player might use?” I asked, in order to clarify his description.
“Yeah, the same thing,” he agreed.
“Great, then I think I know where they have one,” I quickly confirmed. “Where do you normally do this?”
“My school had a leg lift, so I did it there,” he explained, “and then I would go out and walk around the track for like another 15 minutes.”
“Wow, you have to have a lot of discipline to do all of that,” I admitted, astonished by his determination to keep up the hard work. “I’m impressed.”
“Well, if I want to walk, I have to do it,” he admitted, “or else I might end up being confined to a wheelchair. I don’t really have much of a choice about doing it, do I?”
“I guess not, but I’m still impressed,” I confirmed. “I’m pretty sure the school has a leg lift, but I’ll check around to see who might also have a leg extender. If you don’t mind, however, I still have a few more questions for you.”
“That’s alright,” he agreed. “I don’t mind.”
“I appreciate it and thank you,” I acknowledged, “but this time I would like to know about the hydrocephalus. I know the term means ‘water on the brain’, so what I want to know is, do you have a shunt in your head for drainage?”
“Yes, I do,” he admitted.
“Does it require any special care?” I pressed.
“Only when it is malfunctioning,” he explained.
“What do you do then?” I wanted to know.
“Well, I just go to the doctor and let him take care of it for me,” he told me.
“Okay, that’s simple enough,” I agreed, “so I guess I’ll check to make sure we have a doctor locally with sufficient knowledge about such things, before you get back.” I looked up at Vinnie and saw his confused expression, so I thought I’d better explain. “What I meant by that, Vinnie, is I’d be happy to have you come live with us, if you should decide that is what you want to do.”
“Really? You mean it?” he quickly asked in response, before the corners of his lips began to curl into a slight grin. “I think I’d like that too,” he continued. “I know I haven’t been here very long, but I still feel really comfortable with you guys and you all seem to care about me and want to help.” Suddenly, he stopped and looked at the floor for a second, before he looked at me again and continued speaking.
“You know, when I was told I was being sent here, I wasn’t sure what to expect,” he admitted. “Even in my wildest dreams, I didn’t ever expect to find a place like this.” At that point, he began to choke up, as his emotions got the better of him, so I gave him a little hug and kissed him on the top of his head, to let him know he had nothing to hide.
At first, he didn’t respond in any way to my actions. I worried he might pull away from me or his body would stiffen, thus giving me a sign that my boldness wasn’t welcome, but he did nothing of the sort. In fact, he eventually gave in to my hug, as his body began to melt against mine. When he had totally relaxed and was enjoying the experience, I allowed him to stay like that for a little while longer, to give us a chance to bond.
Once I felt he’d had a sufficient opportunity to realize he would be accepted totally, as he was, I suggested it was time for us both to get ready for bed. Once he looked up and nodded his agreement, I asked him if he needed anything special. He quickly confirmed that he didn’t, but I still explained I’d put a nightlight in the bathroom, since this place was a strange to him and I wanted him to be able to see where he was going. He thanked me for my concern and thoughtfulness, and then I left him alone in my bedroom.
I came back to check on him before I went to sleep and knocked on the bedroom door lightly, before entering. After he told me to come in, I went over to the bed, tucked him in and asked him if there was anything else I could do for him, before I also turned in. He quickly shook his head in response, so I kissed him goodnight, on his forehead, before leaving and closing the door behind me. He seemed to manage and didn’t call for help at any point, and I didn’t see him again until he joined us for breakfast the following morning.
It was now Saturday and the day we were going to celebrate Dion’s 14th birthday. His birthday was actually earlier in the week, but we felt Vinnie might get a kick out of being part of this celebration. As it worked out, Dion had only invited a couple of his friends from school to join us, since he didn’t want to upset Trey by inviting any girls. Dion also called his friends to make sure they knew beforehand that Vinnie would be there and told them briefly about his circumstances, so they wouldn’t embarrass themselves, or Vinnie, by gawking or asking inappropriate questions.
Not only would this give Vinnie a better chance to see what we were like, it would also give our extended family a chance to meet Vinnie too. I hoped it might also relieve some of their concerns about what I was getting myself into. All in all, the day went quite well and Dion remained the center of attention, even though everyone took time to welcome Vinnie and speak to him for a while. In fact, it was during Sally’s time conversing with him that she learned how he and I had agreed to provide for his special needs, as well as getting the distinct impression from him that he was looking forward to moving in. I think at that point she let go of her own reservations about the situation and agreed to help make it happen.
Throughout the process of having a good time, all of the boys went out of their way to make Vinnie feel like part of the family. Although he couldn’t participate in everything they did, they did make some adjustments to accommodate him, which Vinnie immediately noted and thanked them for. Not only that, but our extended family welcomed him with open arms too, so this turned out to be a great way to get Vinnie involved with everyone else, and quickly.
Over the remainder of the day, each of us spent even more time continuing to get to know Vinnie better, and during that process, he got better acquainted with us. Over the next several hours, he spent time with each of the boys, some of it privately, while at other times as part of a small group, but I could tell he seemed to fit in fairly well with each of them. Although he still hadn’t met Frankie or Dustin, because they were away at school, I knew that wouldn’t be a problem either, judging from what I had seen of him with the others. I did notice that Vinnie and Kevin seemed to be spending more time together than he did with the others, and I thought back to the clues we received from Brent, when he began informing Graham about this poor soul who needed us. Maybe there was more to Kevin’s inclusion in the clues than just the fact that Brent was thinking of him or that the two of them had been close before Brent died.
I learned later that Vinnie had told Kevin almost all the information he had told me, some because of Kevin’s questioning him, but some on his own initiative. Kevin did seem to be taking a special interest in Vinnie as well, not only as an individual, but also about his special needs. Maybe they were bonding because Kevin had suffered through so much too, both medical problems and the loss of people close to him, but whatever had caused the bond, I was glad to see it happening.
Late Saturday night Vinnie came to speak with me privately again, after learning some of the boys were bi or gay. I thought at first he might have a problem with this, but he seemed to be relieved by this revelation. That’s when he confirmed that he suspected he might be gay too, not that he had ever done anything, but he seemed excited by the fact that there were others like him that had similar interests. He then asked me if I’d mind if he asked Kevin to spend the night in my room with him, although he quickly promised, unsolicited, that nothing sexual would happen. I told him that would be fine, as long as Kevin wanted to, and then I explained to him that nothing ever happened in the house unless both people agreed to it. I guess the boys hadn’t told him about the sex-capades that go on from time to time, and I think he took my warning to only mean that Kevin had to agree to spend the night with him. Kevin must have accepted, because I saw them enter my room together later, and I was glad that Vinnie had decided to live with us. It would be good for both he and Kevin, from what I could tell.
From what Kevin told me later, I guess the two hit it off even better than I’d suspected. He informed me that Vinnie and he had cuddled with each other for a while, and even kissed once or twice, although Kevin didn’t initiate more, in case Vinnie decided not to join us. I hadn’t yet told Kevin that Vinnie’s coming to live with us was pretty much a done deal at that point, and I began to wonder if that had been a mistake. Kevin added that he felt if they had done something, and then for some reason Vinnie didn’t come to live with us, he would have felt as though he had lost another lover and he couldn’t bear to go through that again. For that reason, Kevin had decided he was only willing to be slightly intimate, even though he thought he might be developing feelings for the newest potential addition to the Castaway Hotel. I told him I admired his in-depth and thoughtful analysis of the situation and how he had worked his way through the options, before choosing the path he would take. That’s when I informed him I would support whatever decision he made concerning their possible future together.
Vinnie also came to see me, to discuss the previous night. Even though he didn’t know me well enough to get into the details of what they had done, he still basically told me that he and Kevin had hit it off and had gotten close, but now he was a little confused about his own feelings. We talked about the situation in very vague terms, since he didn’t seem to want to get into specifics, but I posed different possibilities to him and made various suggestions concerning those possibilities. I think this helped him out, even in ways I couldn’t fathom, because he seemed to be less troubled once we had finished our talk. He thanked me for my help, reaffirmed that he would definitely like to live with us, if it were still his choice, and then he hugged me. I guess I wasn’t ready for the last part, as I didn’t think he’d known me long enough to do something of that nature, even though I’d already seen several indications that he was a demonstrative person. Encouraged, I hugged him back and told him I’d be proud to have him as another son, but when I lifted his head toward me to gauge his reaction, I noticed a tear in the corner of his eye.
Suddenly, I thought that he might have misunderstood my last statement and thought I was suggesting I was going to replace his parents, so I quickly made sure he understood this was not the case. That’s when he informed me he had understood what I meant, but he was touched that I’d offered to be his father so soon, seeing we had only known each other for less than two days. He told me he loved the house, he loved the family and he loved me personally, before adding he’d be thrilled to come here to live with us. I told him I’d make the arrangements, as quickly as I could, but warned him it might take a few weeks to work out all the legalities, since we lived in different states. He said he understood and added it might be better if he finished out the school semester where he was first, so he wouldn’t have to worry about messing up his grades in the process. I agreed that was an excellent idea, so we left it like that.
On Sunday afternoon, Jake and I drove him back to the airport, but we didn’t do this alone. Kevin was insistent that he be allowed to go along with us and Vinnie quickly seconded the motion. Jake and I tried not to watch what was going on in the backseat, although it was difficult not to overhear their conversation, but we could tell that each of them was excited about Vinnie’s eventual return. Before we sent him on his way home, I assured him that he was welcome to come back and join us for Christmas, at my expense, because I didn’t want him to be alone during the holidays. This offer appeared to make him very happy, because he responded by giving me another hug and kissing me on the cheek, before he moved over to do the same to Kevin. We all waved to him as he departed and moved through the security checkpoint, and I’m certain each of us was hoping we wouldn’t be separated from each other for very long.