Nick and Tony - Chapter 1
Copyright 2018, Nick Brady, all rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction and is not autobiographical.
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The Tulsa YMCA is a six-story building of yellow brick and red granite at the corner of 6th and Denver. In 1973 it was for men and boys only. There was a YWCA for girls but I didn't know much about that. The big downtown YMCA had everything; basketball and handball courts, weight rooms, even a massage facility. There was a game room with pinball machines, pool tables, and ping pong tables. Down on the lowest level was a huge pool. There were several dressing areas, one for men and another for boys, and a third nicer area with wooden lockers and carpeted floors that were reserved for members of the health club.
The athletic facilities occupied the first and second floors with the pool below. From the 3rd to the 6th floors were rooms for rent - small rooms with a single bed and a little closet. Mostly these rooms were used by men as a clean cheap place to stay when they were in town for a few days on business. Since the use of the facilities was included in the cost of the room, it was a popular place for men to stay; mostly younger men who were on a budget, and those who were of an athletic bent.
My family lived in the Ambassador Apartments just 4 blocks South. It had been almost an elegant place when it was built back in Tulsa's boom days of the early 1920's but was now showing its age. It contained 3 floors of apartments, with our family 3 bedroom unit on the ground floor, and a couple of 2 and 3 bedroom units on the second floor. On the third floor, most of the rooms were one bedroom efficiencies and some of these were rented to men whose visits to the YMCA became so frequent that they preferred a more comfortable place to stay while in town. My father used to joke that we were the South Annex to the YMCA. My father and mother ran the apartment in exchange for their own living unit. I lived there from age 3 until I graduated from Central High School.
When we were old enough, my father bought a family membership to the Y so my younger brother Kevin and I would have a safe place to hang out. At this time I was 11 and he was 9 and not much interested in the Y, so I usually went there by myself.
There was a little game room with some pinball machines. I either played these or watched other boys play and sometimes shot pool or played table tennis (ping pong) with some guys I met. But the real attraction for me was the swimming pool.
The YMCA had a huge Olympic sized swimming pool most of which was about 4 feet deep for swimming laps, but deeper at one end with a diving board. There were certain times set aside for free swim and other times set aside for instruction.
I enjoyed playing around in the pool during free time but could not go beyond the rope to the deep end because I was not a swimmer. Wanting to be able to do it all, I asked my parents to enroll me in swimming lessons.
I started taking swimming lessons when I was 11. Swimsuits were optional but several times we were asked not to wear swimsuits because there was something wrong with the filter and they didn't want any lint to get into the water. That was the first time I had gone "skinny dipping" and it was fun.
After I learned to swim I got a youth membership at the Y and went swimming there whenever I had the chance. During free swim time suits were optional and a lot of the men and boys swam naked. I always swam naked now, and most of the others did too.
At that time I had just turned 13 years old and was about 5 foot 4 inches tall and weighed 130 pounds. I had curly red hair. Not auburn, reddish brown or reddish blonde, but red-orange. The color of a nice fresh carrot and wavy enough that it was useless to try and comb it. My skin was smooth, milky white and sprinkled with a light dusting of freckles. In the summer the freckles on the part of me that was exposed to the sun grew larger until I was a nice golden brown.
My passion was for baseball and I played first base with a little league team. I was a good catcher and while not a home run hitter, was fast enough to have a good chance of scoring once I got on base. I had a bike which I rode incessantly, and now I was swimming regularly. I was both in shape, very lean, and quick. Top this picture with curly orange hair, green eyes, and the grin that was usually on my face and that was me.
There was something very pleasant about being naked in the pool and feeling the cold water flowing between my legs. I found that I could dive under the water with my eyes open and see the other boys naked and touching themselves sometimes. They really weren't doing anything but it was exciting to observe them without their knowing it. There was always a lot of horseplay that resulted in some "accidental" touching.
Not long after I turned 13, I made friends with Jack, one of the attendants who was about 17. I admired Jack a lot because he was tall and muscular, maybe 6 foot 2 inches tall and very solidly built. He had dark brown hair cut short and a good tan, but the thing I liked most about him was the fine dark hair that spread across his chest and ran down the center of his stomach to under his swimsuit. His legs were tan and hairy too. He looked like he spent a good deal of time in a weight room and to my young eyes was manhood in perfection. I talked to him whenever he wasn't busy and he seemed to like me. I know I certainly admired him.
I began to notice that several times a day Jack would say something to the other attendant and leave the pool for 10 or 15 minutes. I was curious about this and several times when we were talking I asked him where he went. He just said he was checking on something.
One afternoon Jack told me that he would show me something neat if I would come with him. I was naked but he had on the swimsuit with the YMCA patch sewn on it. I grabbed a towel to wrap around myself and followed him outside the pool area and down a little flight of stairs into a basement room where the pumps and filter tanks were. There against the wall was a window that looked underwater into the deep end of the pool. It was about 2 feet tall and 3 feet wide and made of very thick glass. It was there so that an attendant could watch the bottom of the pool and spot someone who was having difficulty. It was also a wonderful place to watch boys and men swimming around naked without their knowing about it. We laughed about it and made jokes about some of the swimmers as we leaned over and looked through the green glass.
He was behind me a little, and rather casually put his hand on my hip as if to steady himself. He would adjust his position and his hand would slide around my waist and up my side a little. We were talking and laughing and when he changed positions, his hand would move over my back. I thought it was curious, but I didn't say anything because I wanted to stay there and watch. Also, I kind of liked it.
After about 5 or 10 minutes of this, he said that he had to get back to the pool and we had to go. He told me that I was not to go down there by myself, as that was against the rules. Of course I promised I wouldn't, and of course, I did anyway whenever I got the chance.
The window was really fun. When you were in the pool, it was not obvious that it was there unless you knew where to look. From under the water, it was just a shiny place, and if you looked close it looked like a mirror. But from the other side you could see from one end of the pool to the other. Lots of times I watched boys feeling of each other's privates or rub together while they appeared from above to be wrestling.
One time a pair of boys were right in front of the glass treading water like crazy. They were just under the diving board and only a foot or so from my face. One got behind the other and started sliding himself up and down the crack of the boy's ass. The boy in back reached around from behind and held the front boy's balls in one hand while he jacked him off with the other. They were maybe 15, and had big dicks and plenty of hair.
I was standing very close to the window with my towel around my ankles and my forehead pressed against the glass stroking myself as I watched the boys in the water. After a few minutes, I could see the boy in front begin to shoot his wad through his friend's tight fist. The white sperm floated up like long white worms that wiggled and swirled in the moving water. I think the boy in the back shot too by the way he hugged his friend around the waist and hunched rapidly. I could not see their faces, just their naked bodies from the neck down.
By this time, it was all over for me and I spooged on the glass and watched the gobs of cum ooze slowly down onto the wall. Then I came out of my trance and got worried about being discovered. I found a rag to wipe off the glass then wrapped my towel around myself and slipped back up the stairs to the pool. The two boys were now swimming back and forth waiting for their erections to go away.
For most of the time I was at the pool. I was in the water swimming or playing around with the other guys. But as often as I could I would sneak away and creep down to the pump room. One afternoon I was standing guard at the window when a young hispanic boy was toying with his himself not far from the glass. He was a pretty brown color and very smooth and muscular with a shock of straight black pubic hair. He was also uncut like me, and had a nice slender dick. He was not really jacking off as much as just stroking himself and enjoying the feel of being hard and naked in the water. His ball sack was smooth and brown and hung low despite the cool water. I could see them bounce gently up and down as he tread water.
I watched him for a little while and then slipped back up to the pool and got into the water. I swam around a little and worked my way over to where he was still floating in about the same place with his hands under the water. He was a nice looking kid, tight and muscular with the good chest, shoulders, and biceps that often go with a young Hispanic guy. He also had a nice face, long straight nose, high cheekbones and large dark eyes with long wet eyelashes. His wet hair was straight, black, and shiny, and long enough to lie on top of his shoulders.
I eased over to him and spoke to him in a friendly way. He replied and we struck up a conversation about nothing in particular. I could see that he was checking out my white skin and red curly hair and I knew that I had a pretty good looking body. He had an easy manner about him and we made some jokes. When he laughed I could see he had beautiful white teeth that flashed out of his dark face. We kept paddling around and getting closer to each other.
Of course, I had the advantage in that I already knew that he was hard and horny so, I let our bodies brush together a little and he did not move back. I started brushing my hand across his butt and "accidentally" ran the back of my hand up the length of his penis. He had one arm hanging down at his side between us and I pushed myself into it a little. I was good and hard by then too.
As soon as he felt my dick touch his hand, he wrapped his fingers around it and began to squeeze it gently. I took him into my hand and did the same. I kept looking around and there were not many others in the pool, and none very near us, so we proceeded to give each other a hand job.
He was very hard, and his long slender dick stood up flat against his belly rather than standing out at an angle. I had to pull it away from him to be able to stroke it. His foreskin was loose like mine and rolled back and forth over the head. He was doing mine the same way, and the cool water of the pool felt good as it poured over my cock head on the down stroke and was covered by the warmer skin on the upstroke.
Several times first one of us and then the other would drop down under the water to take a look at close range. I put my hand on the back of his head and tried to encourage him to suck me, but he held back. I looked him over closely and wondered what it would be like to take him into my mouth. I had not done that before and wanted to know what it felt like both to be sucked and to suck. But since he would not do it to me, I would not do it to him. Some kind of code of the west I guess.
After several minutes of this, we both got pretty serious about getting off and proceeded to jack each other off while facing each other. I felt him stiffen and he closed those big dark eyes and started to shoot at the same time I did. I remember that when his eyes were closed I could see how long his black eyelashes were, and I could see the tip of his pink tongue between his lips.
When we finally quit twitching in each other's hands, we relaxed and continued to stroke each other nice and easy. By this time we had stopped trying to make small talk and just let ourselves float in the water. It occurred to me to ask him his name and he told me, Carlos. I told him I was Nick and we began to talk to each other about where we lived, where we went to school, and when we came to the YMCA. Actually, Carlos was pretty cool and after that, we saw each other fairly often.
I went to the pool at the YMCA almost every day and found Carlos there quite often. He looked nice with those dark eyes and flashing white teeth. Sometimes a younger boy was with him. He was a pretty dark-skinned boy who I took to be the younger brother. When he was there, Carlos was less inclined to play.
When Carlos was alone, we swam naked and sometimes played with each other in the water. We often left at the same time and showered together in the boys' locker room. The warm water felt great after soaking in the cool water of the swimming pool for so long, and it relaxed our privates which had shrunk from the cold. We were familiar enough with each other to comment on our relaxed state and felt of each other's soft loose ball sacks. This resulted in a matched pair of hooded erections, his a nice dark brown, and mine a milky white. Above his were straight black hairs, above mine a sparse crop of curly orange. We held them together in our hands and laughed at the contrast in color. We started to play with each other, stroking up and down, squeezing our balls and fingering ass holes. I slipped my finger up Carlos' ass a little and he pulled back and shook his head from side to side. He wasn't mad, he was just letting me know he didn't like that.
We stood face to face very close together and played with each other for a couple of minutes. It felt good and I leaned in closer so our chests touched and slid around a little. I began to feel very aroused, and on impulse, I knelt down in front of him and pulled his foreskin back tight and looked closely at his penis. It was smooth and round, with a dark brown shaft and pink head, I wanted very much to know what it would feel like to take it in my mouth and suck it. I stuck my tongue out and licked it over the piss slit making Carlos jump. He laughed but pulled back a little.
I stood up and smiled nervously and put my hands on his shoulders to encourage him to kneel down before me. Carlos gave me a wry smile and shook his head again. "Let's just jerk off," he said. So we took hold of each other and began to stroke in earnest. Carlos began to tense, his breathing got heavier and I knew he was getting close. I leaned my head forward and pressed the side of my face against his and he leaned into me lightly and I felt him start to stiffen in my hand. I increased my grip and stroked a little faster and heard Carlos sigh and felt his cock start to twitch. A blast of hot cum hit my belly and then another and another.
I let go of his dick and held him in my arms, pressing him against the length of me. The long strings of his semen were coating my stomach and made it slippery as we squeezed together. I bucked my hips up and down, slid from side to side and began to have a ferocious orgasm, filling the tight space between us with even more hot spunk.
I held him close as I shot and Carlos pressed his mouth into the crook of my neck and hugged me back. He didn't open his mouth, just pressed his lips into my neck and shivered. After a moment I caught my breath and Carlos stepped back, smiling rather shyly. He grabbed a bar of soap and started washing the cum off of himself and I took his cue and did the same. He was quiet as we dressed and walked out. All he said when we parted was "see you later," with just a hint of his usual smile.
I walked the 4 blocks to my apartment house with the uneasy feeling that maybe I had gone too far with Carlos, done too much. I thought about our concern that someone would see us and about his reluctance to do more than jerk off, and about his shyness when we parted. I realized that while Carlos and I were both horny and liked to jerk off, there was a difference between us. I was a little different from most guys.
I started to get serious about my swimming. Jack was one of several pool attendants but the only one who seemed to notice and show an interest in me. Jack was handsome in a rugged masculine way. He was muscular and well defined with an easy manner about him. I found myself wondering what he looked like naked and wished he used the same shower room as the boys, but never saw him there.
Jack was quiet but he observed everything. It was easy to forget he was there until someone did something reckless, then his whistle would snap us to attention. I liked to swim over to where he was sitting and make small talk with him. He was friendly and nice to talk with, but his eyes were always watching the pool.
Jack was an excellent swimmer and took the time to coach me a little on how to synchronize my arm movements and kicks, and how to roll my body from side to side to make my breathing smoother. With his help and a lot of practice, I could usually beat the other guys in impromptu races. Jack even suggested that I try out for one of the swimming teams that the Y sponsored. That made me feel pretty good.
Even though I spent a lot of time working out in the water, I seldom missed the opportunity to slip down to the pump room to look through the thick glass window at the deep end of the pool. Sometimes nothing was going on, but sometimes I would see something interesting.
After a couple of months, I became a little less worried about getting caught down there. Jack was the only attendant who was aware that I knew about the little room and he didn't work every day. When Jack was there I would always slip out when he wasn't looking my way so he wouldn't wonder where I was going.
One afternoon there were some boys who were horsing around down at the deep end so I slipped away to see what they were doing. As I watched them through the window I could see that one of the boys was a little older than the other two. He was erect and had a lot of pubic hair. He was touching the hairless younger boys and letting them feel his privates. Two of them were feeling of him at the same time, and watching this got me pretty excited.
I had dropped my towel to the floor around my feet with my face pressed close to the glass and was stroking myself, oblivious to everything except the boys in the water. I didn't hear Jack walk up behind me, but when he stepped up close I could feel the warmth of his body on my back before he even touched me.
There I was in the forbidden room, bare-ass naked, pounding my pud, and Jack had caught me. I straightened up as soon as I sensed him, but when I did, he placed his hands on my shoulders. I jumped and my heart beat faster as he leaned close enough so that I could feel his stomach touching my back. My skin was chilled from standing naked in the damp room and Jack's hands and body felt very warm. He pulled me close to him and I could feel the cool wet top of his swimsuit against the small of my back and his warm skin above it. I felt a rush of excitement and wanted nothing more than to be held by him, to feel his strong body against mine. I could see our reflection in the window glass, my surprised face and Jack's above me smiling. He left one hand on my shoulder and with the other ran his fingers through my curly hair.
“Didn't you promise not to come down here without me?” Jack asked.
I was too startled to do more than mumble, “Yes sir.”
Jack looked up and down at my reflection in the window. I was naked, erect, and totally busted. “You're a good-looking boy,” he said softly, then stepped back, ran his hand down my back and slapped me on the butt. “You'll get me in trouble coming down here. Don't let me catch you here again.”
His tone was quiet but quite firm. He turned and left without another word, leaving me flushed and lightheaded. I wrapped the damp towel around myself. I didn't return to the pool but went directly to the boys locker room to dress.
I felt excited, different in some way. As I sat on the wooden bench in front of my locker I slowly realized that I had never felt this excited over a girl. I had not dated any girls, but preferred to spend time with my buddies. I had never really thought about sex a lot, certainly not about my sexual orientation. Carlos and I were both horny so our playing around didn't seem like a big deal. But what I felt when Jack was close was very different than what I felt with Carlos.
When I returned to my apartment building everything seemed so normal. Mom was in the kitchen and my little brother Kevin was stretched out on the sofa watching TV, but my inner world was whirling around. I was quiet during supper and when Mom asked if I was OK, I said I was just tired. But my mind was preoccupied with the events of the day.
That night I lay in my bed listening to my brother breathing softly as he slept in the bed across the room from mine. Kevin was 11 and a quiet, sober kid. I was more outgoing and physical, and he was the reader and thinker. We got along OK but basically left each other alone. I don't know if he jerked off or not. Maybe he was too young for that. He caught me stroking a couple of times, and sort of rolled his eyes like he was grossed out, while I quickly pretended to be doing something else.
It's hard to keep secrets when you share a room with your brother, but we gave each other some space and accepted each other. I guess we loved each other in the way that brothers do - bickering over little things but basically loyal. It was as if we didn't have any big secrets to keep from each other so we didn't worry about it. But now I had something in my life that I instinctively knew I had to hide from Kevin, and from my parents.
I thought about Jack and wondered how he felt about finding me in the pump room. What did all this mean? Was this a bad habit I needed to break? Could I resolve not to let anything like this happen again? Was I gay? Thoughts and emotions flashed through my mind like the cars of a speeding train. I finally fell asleep thinking about how warm Jack's hands felt on my cool skin.
It was summer and baseball was happening. I played on a little league team sponsored by Nelson's hardware store. I played first base and hit the ball well enough to get on base pretty consistently. I loved to steal bases and was a hero when I made it and a butthead when I didn't. I love baseball. It's the perfect game.
Some of the guys on my team were boys from my school that I had played ball with before. The rest were new this season. Some of the guys had grown a lot since the summer before. A lot can happen to a guy between ages 12 and 13. A couple of the boys that had been my size last summer were now taller than me, and several obviously had more in their crotch than a floppy jock strap.
My playing around with Carlos and my thoughts about Jack made me look at them in a different way. Where before they were just other kids like me, now they were boys with rounded shoulders and chests, solid thighs, and a new crop of hair on their legs and under their arms. It surprised me that I was so aware of all this. I kept looking at them and wondering what was in their pants this summer. This both excited and concerned me, but I threw myself into playing the game and tried to put it out of my mind.
My friend Steven had grown a lot since last summer. We were in elementary school together and started to play ball then. His family had moved to a different part of town and now I only saw him in the summer during baseball season. He had always been about my same size but now was a couple of inches taller and a lot thicker. Not fat at all, but solid, especially in his upper body. I would guess that he had been spending some time lifting weights.
But the smile was the same. He had a big toothy grin that covered his face and wrinkled his eyes. We were glad to see each other. We shagged balls a little before practice and then got down to business. He usually played catcher but this year was trying to pitch and wasn't doing bad at all. His new height and strength helped him deliver a good fastball, but he was a little wild when he tried to put some moves on the ball. The coach told him that if he worked on his control he might make a good pitcher.
After practice, we rode our bikes to the QuikTrip for a soda. We each got a large fountain drink and then went out to lean back against the cement wall on the shady side of the building. Good old Steve; the same likable studly guy and looking better than ever.
I kept looking at him. He was getting very muscular with good definition. I told him he looked great and he said he was using a health club that his family belonged to. I said I was swimming a lot at the Y but wasn't doing any weights. Seeing him made me wonder if I should start.
Steve looked good to me. I was checking out his arms and shoulders, his thick chest and tight waist, and his narrow hips in shorts that looked to be cut-offs from some old sweatpants. I was also very aware of the wisps of dark hair that strayed out under the sleeves of his sweaty T-shirt, of the dark hair on his forearms and lower legs, and of the bulge that pushed out under the knit shorts. He had a few short dark hairs at the corners of his upper lip and on the point of his chin that told me he was starting to grow some facial hair and might begin shaving soon.
All the time we were talking I was laughing and joking about nothing in particular while a different part of my brain was focused intently on Steve's maturing body. I was wondering how much hair he had in his crotch, trying to recall if I had ever seen him naked before, and trying to discern from the bulge in his shorts if he was cut or not. All the time there was this little voice in another part of my head that was telling me that I had to be careful not to be too obvious about looking at him.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Steve asked.
"Uh, no. Not really," I replied, startled by the question. We had been chattering about nothing in particular and my mind was more on Steve's development than on the conversation. "Do you?"
"Oh yeah," Steve said with a huge grin. "Do you remember Melissa from 6th grade?"
"Yeah, I think so. She is real pretty, kind of blonde?"
Steve's big smile and energetic body language told me that Steve was very much into girls, and was probably doing some good with Melissa. I realized with a slight flush that my interest in Steve's body and thoughts of trying to ease the conversation towards some way of getting together with him were traveling in the wrong direction. If Steve knew what I was thinking he would surely be offended.
Again, I had to realize that while my buddies were beginning to be very interested in girls, I was not. I was more interested in my buddies. What was wrong with this picture? So we talked about Melissa and how cute she was and finished our drinks. Steve rode his bike off toward his house and I rode back to my apartment. It was time for a swim.
It had been several weeks since Jack caught me in the pump room. I continued to go to the Y to work on my swimming but had not spoken to Jack much. If he was on duty when I came in he would nod to acknowledge my being there but made no attempt to talk. At first, I thought maybe he was mad at me but the open look he gave me said he was not.
He nodded to me when I walked in from the dressing room. I nodded back and gave him a little wave, then dived in for a swim. I did some laps, tried a couple of dives and ended up surfacing at the edge of the pool where Jack sat in his lifeguard chair, legs crossed at the ankles and his arms folded across his chest.
"Hey," Jack said, looking down at me.
"Hi," I said, wiping the water from my face and wondering what to say next.
Jack cocked his head a little to one side and asked gently, "You doing OK?"
"Yeah," I said, "I guess I'm all right, how are you?"
"I'm fine. We haven't talked for awhile."
"No. Well, I started playing baseball."
"Yeah? What do you play?"
"First base for Nelson's Hardware."
"Cool. Maybe I'll come watch you play sometime.”
Jack wasn't mad at me. We were chatting like nothing had ever happened, and I realized that I missed talking with him. We would usually talk about different stuff, maybe what was going on with me in school, maybe some advice about swimming, never anything about sex. That's why I was so surprised when Jack found me in the pump room. My feeling had been one of total confusion.
"Do you like me?" I asked suddenly, surprised at my own question.
Jack paused a moment and cracked a trace of a smile. "Yeah, I do actually. Why do you ask?"
"Well, you know - a couple of weeks ago - you know?"
Jacked leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms up over his head, taking a deep breath and then exhaling slowly. "We need to talk."
Jack stuck his head in the pool office and told the other attendant he was taking a break. He picked up his towel while the other guy came out to sit in the lifeguard chair. Jack walked out of the pool in the direction of the pump room and I got out, wrapped a towel around my waist and followed him.
We walked into the pump room where Jack opened a couple of folding chairs, sat on one of them and pointed at the other for me to sit facing him. The feel of the cool damp air, the smell of chlorine and oil, and the hum of the pumps brought a flood of sensations to me. Jack sat in his chair wearing his swimsuit and with his towel around his shoulders. I sat opposite him with a towel around my waist, filled with a mixture of sexual excitement and dread.
Jack hesitated and then said, "How do you feel about what happened a couple of weeks ago?"
"Ah, I was embarrassed I guess," I mumbled, wondering where this was going.
"Look," Jack said, "When I came down to check the pump room I saw you standing in front of the window jerking off, I watched you for a couple of minutes. I really shouldn't have touched you like that. I've been worried that it freaked you out.”
"No, I liked it. I guess it did freak me out a little, but I liked it. I've been thinking about it a lot”.
"So what do you think about it?" Jacked asked.
I tried to answer but all of a sudden my throat got real tight and my eyes began to burn. "I don't know," I said, " I felt pretty confused."
Jack didn't reply; he just continued to look at me with a concerned expression on his face and nodded to go on.
I hesitated then said, "I don't know how I feel. I jerk off a lot, but that's no big deal. I've played around with a couple of guys but maybe that's no big deal either. But when you touched me, it was way different, and I don't know....” At that point, I started to cry.
I caught my breath and pulled back to look at him. "I think maybe I'm queer!" I croaked hoarsely, then I dropped my head and started to cry again.
Jack leaned forward and took my head between his hands and whispered softly, "It's OK, Nick, It's OK. You're either straight or you're gay. You don't really get to choose."
I let this sink in for a minute while Jack waited patiently. I took a deep breath and leaned back to look at him, thinking about feeling him pressed against my back. "Are you gay?" I asked.
Jack paused and then said, "Yes. I'm gay. I figured that out a long time ago."
"But why? I mean why are you gay? Why am I? I really don't want to do this, everybody hates queers".
Jack laughed and wiped the tears from my face with the palms of his hands. "That's a pretty good question, Nick. I wish I knew the answer to that. I think it's like being born left-handed. Most people are right-handed, some are lefties. I don't know why that is. Most people are straight, some are gay. I don't know why that is either. If you figure it out, let me know, OK?"
"So what do I do now? I mean...."
Jack ran his fingers through my hair, then sat back in his chair. "What you do now is accept it. You'll have to struggle with this for awhile and basically `come out' to yourself. It's different for everybody. It depends on your family, your friends, what kind of life you want. You have to make choices just like everybody else. But I will tell you that it is nothing to be ashamed of, and it is nobody's business but yours."
So much was whirling in my head. "So what do you do? I mean do you have a boyfriend? What kind of stuff do you do? I really don't know a lot about this.”
Jack laughed again. A relaxed friendly laugh. "I have to get back to the pool. If you want to talk more about this, maybe we can get together when I get off work. I mainly just wanted to know if you were OK with what happened the other day."
Jack stood up to leave, and I stood too and hugged him. I felt about 500 pounds lighter. "Thank you, Jack. I don't know what else to say, just thank you. I'll wait until you get off work and then we can talk some more. Can I come over to your place?"
"No," Jack said, "I don't have a place of my own, I live with a relative. I've been looking for an apartment."
A million ideas suddenly began to whirl through my head. "I know where some cool apartments are.”
"OK," Jack said, "Let's talk about that when I get off.”
.......................to be continued.
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