Sunday, the boys played soccer amongst themselves for most of the day. Kevin seemed fine and did everything he normally would have, but I was still very concerned about his condition. I wish it were already Monday, so I could make the appointment. In order not to spook him, I was careful not to let him see how worried I was. There was no need to alarm him further, but I thought it would be prudent if I monitored his activities throughout the afternoon and evening.
I was on pins and needles the entire day and slept very little that night, even with Kevin bunking in with me again. As I watched him sleep like a baby, I was only able to take several short catnaps before dawn approached. I tried to make it appear as if it was just another normal day, but I watched the clock the entire time and couldn’t believe how slowly it seemed to be moving. After dropping the boys off at the high school, Ricky and I went on to the middle school, where I raced to my office and waited to be able to make my call.
I would be willing to bet I was probably the first person to phone my doctor’s office that morning, possibly even catching the staff before they were comfortably settled in, but they did connect me to the doctor almost immediately. After hearing what I had to say, he told me to bring Kevin in at 2:30. I called the high school and asked the secretary if she would kindly inform Kevin about his appointment and I also asked her to also let him know that I would pick him up in front of the school at 2:00, sharp. Then, I informed my secretary and the assistant principal that I would be leaving early today, so they could cover for me. I left a few minutes before two, to drive to the high school, which is just a short distance down the street from my school. I was pleased to discover Kevin was outside waiting for me, as planned.
Other than the usual hellos, nothing else was said during the ride. We checked in at the desk and then sat down, waiting to be summoned. When Kevin’s name was called, he reached his arm out to me.
“You’re coming with me, aren’t you, Dad?” he asked, showing how nervous he was.
“Of course, if you want me to,” I assured him. He took my hand and I followed him into the examination room. After weighing and measuring him, the nurse advised him to strip to his underwear and sit on the examination table. She added the doctor would be in shortly, just before she closed the door.
Once we were alone, Kevin slipped out of his clothes, but then moved over and sat on my lap. I didn’t discourage this, since it would only take him a second to hop up on the table when the doctor arrived, so we waited. After a few minutes of nervous anticipation, the doctor entered. We exchanged greetings and then he asked Kevin if he wanted me to stay, while he examined him.
“Yes, I want Dad here with me,” he responded, somewhat forcefully. The doctor merely nodded and gave me a wink, knowing I didn’t have this son when I came in for my last appointment.
The doctor asked Kevin to remove his briefs and lie on the examination table, which Kevin did, without hesitation. The doctor took his time examining his scrotum, feeling around the sensitive area, but then he made a strange face.
“There is a definite lump there,” he informed us. “I’m going to order an ultrasound and some blood tests, which are to be done at the hospital, first thing tomorrow morning. It’s the only way I can determine if this is testicular cancer or just a cyst.”
“What’s the difference?” Kevin wanted to know.
“A cyst is non-threatening, in most cases, and is caused by a build up in fluids around the testicle,” the doctor explained. “Sometimes they have to be removed, but other times they may be left to run their course. Some will disappear on their own, over time.”
“But what if it’s cancer?” Kevin continued.
“Testicular cancer is most frequently found in males between the ages of 15 to 35, although it is not confined to that group,” he informed him. “You are just probably at the right age to be at the beginning edge of that critical period. If we discover you do have testicular cancer, then we’ll have to react fairly quickly”
“And do what?” Kevin wanted to know, while the doctor looked over at me, for a clue as to what he should do next. I merely nodded my approval for him to answer Kevin’s question.
“If it is cancer,” the doctor began, “the testicle will most likely have to removed, but don’t be alarmed. If it should come to that, one testicle will be more than enough to supply you with what you need to make you a father.”
“Aren’t there any other choices, doc?” Kevin asked, searching for other possibilities.
“No, I’m afraid there aren’t,” the doctor told him, solemnly. “Anti-cancer drugs are usually ineffective in this situation, because they aren’t sufficiently absorbed by the testicles. An orchiectomy, or the surgical removal of the testicle, is generally the best option and often the only way to deal with the problem. Tomorrow you will have an ultrasound and blood tests to help me make the determination about which problem you suffer from and which course of action would be best to follow. The ultrasound will let me see the growth and examine its size, shape and density. I’ll also have your blood checked for certain markers, in particular beta HCG and alphafetoprotein. These markers will indicate whether the growth is cancerous or not. Once we have this information, I’ll be able to give you a more intelligent answer about where we go from there.”
We thanked the doctor and he left the examination room. Kevin dressed quickly, but I could read the concern still registering on his face. Rather than return to school, I took him directly home. I thought it might be best if he wasn’t forced back into a setting where he had to cope with others, while dealing with the implications of everything he had just heard. He was very quiet during the ride home and went directly into the house, heading for the family room.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked him, once we were inside. He nodded his head, so I went in and sat down in my recliner, before motioning him to come sit on my lap. He had hardly gotten comfortable before he burst into tears. My heart ached, as I considered what this must be like for him, so I hugged him tightly, as I waited for him to calm down again.
“I’m scared, Dad,” he told me. “What if they have to cut off my balls… or something more?”
I pulled him against me, stroked his hair and kissed his forehead. “Shhh, baby. You’ll be fine,” I tried to soothe him. “Even if it is cancer, they’ll only remove the one testicle. Many people live normal, healthy lives with only one. You’ve discovered this early enough so they most likely won’t have to do more, if that’s what you’re worried about, and I’ll be with you the whole time. I love you, Kevin. I’m here for you and I won’t let you down.” I kissed him several more times, on the forehead and also on the cheek, and held him as tightly as I could. After a few minutes like this, he began to calm down. Slowly, he raised his head and looked at me.
“I love you, Dad, and thank you,” he added. “All the others told me I could count on you, and they were right. I’m still a little scared, but not as scared as I’d be if I didn’t have you to help me.”
I kissed him, again, and hugged him some more. No further words were needed. Later, we went back to the school, in order to pick up the other boys. They wanted to know how Kevin was, so I explained to them about tomorrow’s tests. They were extremely supportive of their brother, offering to go with him, if he wanted them to. In fact, I thought they went out of their way to be extraordinarily nice to him that evening. To top it off, Dustin never left his side.
As the hour grew late, Kevin asked me if he could sleep with me again tonight, and I agreed. This seemed to bother Dustin greatly, so I took him aside, to speak with him alone. I explained that, for tonight, Kevin needed his father, not his lover or his friend. After hearing me out, Dustin began to understand what Kevin was going through and fought to control the ‘green monster’ that had been growing inside of him. Although he wasn’t romantically involved with Kevin, he had still been a little jealous about not being the one Kevin sought out at this time. Now, he began to let go of some of those feelings.
For the rest of the evening, Kevin clung to me, acting as if he thought I’d disappear, if he relaxed his grip for even one second. I didn’t actually sleep much again that night and only dozed off occasionally, getting a few minutes of shut-eye at a time. I spent most of my time holding on to Kevin, stroking his hair and kissing his forehead whenever his body tensed and jerked, as he fought with visions no person his age should have to face.
The next morning, I discovered that Kevin hadn’t slept well either, as he recalled the litany of little things I had done to try to ease his troubled mind. After thanking me for everything, he gave me a hug and I sent him off to get ready for his big day.
The previous evening, I had made arrangements for a friend to give the other boys a ride to school, as Kevin and I had to leave early for the hospital. Kevin thought about having his brothers go with him, but decided their presence would make him even more nervous than he already was. Therefore, we left them behind and made the trip alone.
The staff on duty let me stay with Kevin throughout his tests and informed me my doctor would call us with the results, once they were in. Reluctantly, I took Kevin back to school, kissed him good-bye and told him I’d let him know if I heard anything from the doctor.
Although my mind was still in a haze, I went back to work, but I’m not sure I was of much use to anyone. Fortunately, my secretary and the assistant principal understood my preoccupation and took over most of my duties. The teachers were also very supportive and went out of their way to make sure there weren’t any major problems throughout that day. I appreciated everyone’s effort, and just before the final school bell rang, I got the call I had been anticipating and dreading.
“Josh, things are looking up,” my doctor began. “It appears this is only a cyst, but I want to see him again in another month, so I can re-examine him and rerun the tests, as a precautionary measure.”
I thanked him for the good news, but decided to wait and tell Kevin until after he’d finished his soccer practice. Before I took him back to school, we had made a quick stop to purchase a jockstrap with a cup for him and Kevin promised to wear it from now on, whenever he played sports. Knowing this, I concluded the distraction of working out with the others would be good for him and I didn’t want to interrupt his practice, just to tell him he was fine. As the time neared for me to go get the boys, I left my school and made the short drive to the high school. I only had to wait a short time for them to appear, but after they were all in the car, I spoke to Kevin.
“Kevin, the doctor called me a little while ago and told me that it looks like it’s just a cyst. He wants to see you again, in a month, just to make sure though.” A huge smile flashed across Kevin’s face, as the weight of a thousand burdens had been lifted from his chest. He waited until we got home, however, before he started hugging everyone and jumping around.
Things definitely improved from that point on. I did manage to impress upon him how important it was that he had discovered the lump so early. If it had turned out to be cancerous, the early detection would have made a major difference in how severe the problem might have become. I informed all of the boys that they should examine themselves regularly, in case they had a similar situation. They all said they would, but hoped I would examine them as well, for fear they might miss something on their own. After agreeing to do this for them on a quarterly or semi-annual basis, things started to return to normal.
After experiencing the past few days dragging by, time suddenly seemed to jump into warp speed. We were now three weeks into the school year and the boys’ soccer teams had already completed the early portion of their schedule. Besides the scrimmages, the older group had won all three of the games their team had played, while the younger boys’ team was 1-1. Ricky and Jay had improved a great deal and even surprised themselves, thanks to the patient help from their brothers. Ricky had been moved to midfield, because of his boundless energy and improved skills, while Jay remained at striker.
We were now coming up to the Labor Day weekend and I thought it would be best to make plans with the boys for the holiday. “We’ve got a three day weekend coming up,” I reminded them, “and I’m not sure what you boys are used to doing, but I’ve got some ideas, if you’re interested.”
“Sure, Dad,” Danny said, to start things off. “What do you have in mind?”
“Well, I have a couple of ideas to be precise. First, I thought we could have a cookout or two that weekend. I can barbecue steaks on Saturday, chicken on Sunday and then we can do hamburgers, hot dogs and sausage links on Monday. What do you think?”
“That sounds good to me,” Ricky answered, while rubbing his belly.
“What’s the other idea?” Dustin wanted to know.
“I thought we should throw a birthday party,” I answered, which caused everyone to start looking around.
“Who is this party going to be for?” Danny inquired. “None of us have a birthday coming up in September.”
“No, but we did miss one,” I informed them. “Kevin had his birthday just before he moved in with us, and I don’t think he ever got a chance to celebrate or enjoy his special day.” Kevin nodded his head, knowing he happened to still be in police custody on his birthday. It was a few days after his dad knocked the crap out of him.
“I thought we should acknowledge his birthday, even if it is a little late,” I continued. “We can throw a party for him over the weekend, as long as he doesn’t mind that our timing is a little off.”
Kevin looked at me and grinned. “Thanks, Dad. I can live with you all being a little off,” he advised us. However, none of us were sure if he was referring to his birthday, or if he thought we were all a bubble shy of level.
“It’s settled then,” I enthusiastically announced. “Kevin, do you have anyone you’d like to invite?”
“Could I invite some of the guys from the soccer team?” he responded.
“Most definitely,” I agreed. “Brandon and Jay will most likely be here anyways, and I’ll invite Mrs. Swarthout to join us too. In addition to that, you may invite whomever else you wish, as long as you let me know how many to expect. I have to make sure I have enough for them to eat. Do you want to have the party on Sunday or Monday?”
“I think Monday would be better,” Kevin answered.
“Monday it is, then. Let’s say around noon.” He quickly agreed.
“Wait, I just had another idea,” I advised them. “What do you think of inviting Jay and Brandon’s parents over for our Sunday cookout? That way we could have an extended family celebration and Jay and Brandon can spend the night here, so they’re with us for Kevin’s party too. I think their parents might be a little more inclined to let them spend so much time with us, if we include them in on some of our activities too. We can even ask their parents if they want to join us on Monday too. What do you think?”
“I think that’s a great idea, Dad,” Danny offered. “Brandon says his parents sometimes complain about how much time he spends here with us. It might make it easier if they were here with us too.”
“It sounds like a plan then, but we’ll make one minor change,” I added. “We’ll have the chicken on Saturday and save the steaks for Sunday, if the O’Haras and Curtises agree to join us. I’ll go call and invite them now.”
I went and phoned both families and they were each surprised and appreciative of our offer. The O’Haras said they had no plans for that day and would be happy to join us, while the Curtises said they would change their Sunday plans to Saturday, so they could also come. I also invited them for the birthday party, but they said they thought that was more for the younger crowd and declined that part of the invitation. I told them they could at least join us for the cookout portion of the celebration and they said they’d think it over and we finished our conversations.
I thought this was going to work out well, with all three families getting to know each other better, and it should also make them more comfortable about allowing their sons to spend so much time with us. All of the boys got involved and started helping to plan the activities for both Sunday and Monday. The birthday party did take up most of their attention, however, because they wanted to make sure there was enough to do, without it seeming like a little kid’s party. I had no problems with that and let them make most of the suggestions.
As an afterthought, I also called ‘Aunt Sally’ and invited her to join us on Sunday too, figuring she might like a day around some adults, besides the party with all of the young men. “Josh, I’d be thrilled to come both days, as long as you and the boys don’t mind,” she advised me. It’s so very thoughtful of all of you that you’re making me feel like part of your family.”
“Well, you are,” I responded, without hesitation. “Without you, this family wouldn’t exist and the boys certainly want their Aunt Sally here, so they can show their appreciation for what you’ve done for all of us.”
Sally didn’t say anything right away in response and I assumed she might have been a little choked up at the moment. However, when she did speak again, it was only to thank me and tell me she’d love to spend a part of each day with us. I was pleased by the way this was all working out.