Wednesday we took it a little easy and merely got our things ready to board the cruise, which would leave from Fort Lauderdale at 4:00 this afternoon. I kept urging the boys to make sure they had everything packed and ready to go when the time came, because I didn’t want any holdups. They were well aware I was asking this because I didn’t want to risk missing the cruise, so they complied with my wishes.
After lunch, we boarded a bus and settled in for the short ride from Miami to Fort Lauderdale. I had arranged for a coach to take us directly to the dock the ship would be leaving from, so we arrived in plenty of time to board. However, the biggest surprise was still in store for the boys. It happened when they first saw the size of the ship we’d be sailing on. To say the least, the ship was huge. The boys just gawked at its enormous size and multiple decks, as they slowly began to realize this ship could hold more people than lived in the community we came from. It was truly an eye-opening experience and impressed them greatly.
After we boarded, I made sure everyone selected one of the rooms we were assigned to, which wasn’t as easy as it sounds. Each pair would be in a double room, but the rooms weren’t identical. Most had either a double or queen sized bed in it, but two of the rooms had twin-sized beds and another came with bunk beds. After discussing this briefly with the boys, I gave the room with the bunk beds to Dustin and Pat, seeing they weren’t going to be involved with each other. I told the others they could push the twin beds together, to make one larger bed, which they thought would work fine. Cole and Carlos, as well Ricky and Peter agreed to take those rooms, which didn’t come as a major surprise. Although they might mess around and help each other get off, I knew they weren’t the type to cuddle with another guy. Therefore, I thanked them for their offers and then we arranged the remaining room assignments accordingly.
Once everyone was settled in to his room, I led them on a very quick tour of their immediate surroundings. I figured this would be enough to get them started, so they wouldn’t get lost. They would eventually learn their way around the rest of the ship over time, but it had taken me several sessions of studying the diagrams of the ship before I felt I wouldn’t get lost. I had been sent those diagrams before we arrived, and I studied them carefully and learned as much as I could before we boarded. Most of the boys picked up on things very quickly, but I told the youngest three they would have to stay with Jake and I or some of the others for the time being, since they seemed mildly overwhelmed by their new surroundings.
When we concluded the tour, I had everyone get ready for dinner. The meal would be held in a large dining hall and all the men and boys were required to wear slacks and a button-down or polo shirt to get in. I wouldn’t really call this a dress up affair, but shorts, swim-trunks and other casual wear was not allowed during these gatherings. I also gave each of the boys their soda card and explained they would have to show it each time they wanted another drink. I also warned them that if they lost it, they would be relegated to drink water, coffee or tea for the rest of the voyage. This was ample enough warning to make them treat this particular card as if it were made of gold. Once that was understood, we proceeded to the dining hall and made ourselves comfortable.
In addition to these semi-formal meals, you could choose to eat instead from the sandwich or pizza shops, which were located on the lido deck. These were open nearly all hours, but in addition to that, you could also order your meal through room service. Although the selections were limited, the food was plentiful from each of these locations and gave everyone onboard several alternatives. In fact, before I decided to take this vacation, I’d heard others I knew report that one of the main activities on a cruise was eating and there was always an abundant supply of food. I concluded this should suit my boys nicely, although I hope they don’t put the cruise line out of business with their appetites.
Dinner didn’t take very long, even though many of the boys ordered two desserts, once they finished devouring the other items they were served. I was somewhat surprised that none of the staff said anything to them about doing this, but nothing went to waste. Each individual consumed everything he had requested or else I would have prevented him from doing the same thing in the future. Once we finished eating, we went back to our rooms to strip down and get comfortable. I told the boys we’d wait a short time before I’d allow them to go to the pool, which they seemed anxious to do.
The reason the boys had selected this as one of their first activities was because they figured the other young people on board would be doing the same thing. They felt this would allow them to meet others in their own age group, and I thought their logic was sound. Using that same reasoning, Jake and I agreed to go with them, hoping we could meet some of the parents as well. We also wanted to keep an eye on Barry, Jesse, Ted and Carlos while they were in the pool, since I either wasn’t certain of their swimming skills or knew they struggled in the water. The latter was the case with Carlos. He wasn’t a strong swimmer; even though he joked he could float well on his back. He then suggested maybe that’s why Mexicans were called wetbacks and most of the boys groaned at his attempt at humor.
I also wanted to keep Andrew company, since he had to be careful while he was at the pool. He had allowed me to cover his cast with a pair of clear trash bags and tape them in place, so he could go in the shallow end. Fortunately, we also discovered a small floatation device there as well, and it was large enough to serve as a small raft for Andrew. I got in the pool and Jake handed Andrew to me, so I could place him on this apparatus, and then Andrew laid on it and paddled about. I warned the others to be careful that they didn’t tip it over when he made his way into the deeper end, since I knew the cast was heavy enough to drag him to the bottom. Being able to do this was also enough to make Andrew feel he wasn’t being totally left out of this activity and he was having a ball.
During this time, the boys did manage to meet numerous other young people who were also on the cruise with their parents. I chatted with a few of the grown-ups, while the boys got to know their children, and we made some acquaintances that we would benefit from during our time aboard ship.
We ended up spending the rest of the evening with these people and got to know each other better. When it began to grow late, I suggested the boys should head back to their rooms, since I knew they’d probably find more to do the following day, beginning with breakfast. Some of the older boys did stay out a little longer, but I made the younger ones go to their rooms. Some of the couples decided to do the same, so they could utilize the time for some fun, if you get my drift. Jake and I went to our room too, after we tucked the youngest in and bid them sweet dreams.
The three boys snuggled together on their double bed, with Andrew in the middle, but Barry and Andrew were merely biding their time until Jesse fell asleep. They had talked it over earlier about doing something that night, but Andrew warned Barry they’d have to wait until Jesse dozed off. Andrew knew he couldn’t get Jesse to stay with someone else the very first night, so he felt this was the only way he could fool around with Barry. They waited almost an hour and then checked to see if Jesse was indeed asleep.
When they were convinced he was, they stripped out of their underwear and lay on the floor, on the side of the bed opposite from where Jesse was sleeping. They quickly got in position to sixty-nine and it didn’t take either of them long to get into it. Eagerly, they sought to satisfy each other and themselves and were really gong at it. Both boys were moaning and writhing in pleasure, when their concentration was broken.
“Andoo, where you? You hurt?” the voice asked, and both boys immediately stopped what they were doing. When they looked up, they saw Jesse’s face peering over the edge of the bed. Andrew looked horrified that they’d been caught, since he knew I had indicated Jesse wasn’t old enough to be involved in something like this.
“No, Jesse,” Andrew stated, soothingly. “Barry’s not hurting me.”
“Then whot you do?” Jesse followed, which caused Andrew to struggle to find an answer.
“Uh, we were, uh, just playing,” Andrew stuttered.
“I play too,” Jesse replied, which immediately panicked Andrew.
“Uh, you can’t,” Andrew responded.
“Why?” Jesse wondered.
“Um, Dad says you’re too young to do things like this,” Andrew reasoned, hoping it would be enough to end Jesse’s questions.
“I old e-nuf,” Jesse stated, defiantly.
“Not for sex,” Barry chimed in, before realizing what he had just admitted to doing.
“Sex?” Jesse asked.
“What did you say that for?” Andrew barked at Barry. “I told you we had to keep him out of this.”
“Yeah, but he already caught us and saw what we were doing,” Barry reasoned.
“But he didn’t know WHAT we were doing,” Andrew countered.
“You having sex?” Jesse interrupted, which jerked them back to thinking about what they were going to tell him now.
“I think we’re going to have to tell my dad about this and let him help figure out a way to handle it,” Andrew suggested.
“But don’t you think he’ll be mad at us for getting caught?” Barry followed.
“No, not really,” Andrew replied. “He knows what we do, it’s just that he wanted Jesse to wait until he was a teenager too.”
“I old e-nuf!” Jesse repeated, although neither boy thought he understood exactly what they were doing.
“Look, I’ll put on a pair of shorts and go get Dad,” Andrew informed Barry. “You two stay here until I get back.” Barry and Jesse nodded, but neither looked happy about what he was going to do.
Andrew quickly made his way to my room and knocked at the door. I answered and was surprised to see Andrew standing there.
“We’ve got a problem,” Andrew announced, once he saw me. He then entered the room and went on to fill me in what had happened.
I listened carefully to what he had to say and then tried to figure out how I was going to handle this situation. I felt it would be best not to harp on the mistake the boys had made, since the damage was already done. Instead, I would spend my time thinking about what I was going to say to Jesse. After a couple of minutes, I suggested we should go back to their room.
When we entered, Barry was sitting on the bed naked and Jesse was seated near him, still clad in his briefs. Neither boy looked distressed that I was there, so I sat on the bed beside them and began to speak.
“Jesse, I know you’re confused by what you saw, but no one was getting hurt,” I assured him.
“I do it too!” Jesse quickly asserted, much to my chagrin.
“Jesse, you’re not big enough yet,” I replied. “In a few years…” but Jesse cut me off.
“I big as Andoo,” he said, while lowering the front of his briefs and exposing his penis. That’s when I realized I had misspoken and confused the issue.
“Yes, you are big that way,” I agreed, “but I meant you aren’t old enough for such things.”
“John let me play with his pee-pee,” Jesse corrected. “I old e-nuf. He say so.”
Damn, I was afraid of that, but it was something we would deal with later. Right now, I had to address this issue.
“Jesse, I’m sorry to hear that,” I confessed, “but I still think maybe you should wait until you’re a little older.”
“No, I do with Andoo too!” he insisted again, so I suddenly had to reconsider my position.
If Jesse had already done sexual things, and I believe I remembered that John was his stepfather’s name, then he’d already been exposed to sex. Seeing he was most likely forced to do those things, recalling such events might inflict additional scars on his psyche and cause he to respond negatively to sex later. I didn’t want that to happen, so I considered it might be better if I allowed him to have more positive experiences with other boys, nearer his age. Hopefully, such encounters might replace the older memories with more favorable ones. It might also undo some of the damage that had already occurred. I’d have to talk this over with Jake, but now I wasn’t so certain about my previous stance.
“Look, Jesse. Let’s just wait a little longer, while I think about this some more. Will you do that for me?” Jesse thought about it a few seconds, as I tried to guess what he might be thinking.
“Andrew and Barry, I want you to wait before you do anything else too,” I told them, “until I decide how I’m going to handle this.” Both boys looked dejected, but they reluctantly nodded their agreement, so Jesse did too.
I went back to my room and began discussing what I had learned with Jake. “What do you think I should do?” I asked.
“Well, if he was forced to do things of that nature with his stepfather, then he’s already been exposed,” Jake began, “but I’m fairly certain it wasn’t a positive experience. I think maybe if you allowed him to choose to do this, with those he feels comfortable with, it may erase part of the damage that’s already been done and replace it with a positive experience.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” I agreed. “However, I believe it might be best for me to consider this further, and maybe talk to some of the older boys as well, to get their opinion,”
That’s the way we decided to leave it and figured I’d pull Danny, Dustin and Kevin aside tomorrow, to see what they thought. They had each experienced some sort of negative situation pertaining to a sexual encounter, prior to coming to live with me, so they might have some idea about how this might affect Jesse. At least I thought it was worth a try, to see if they might be able to shed some light on my dilemma.
The following morning, when we went to breakfast, I tried to focus on what was going on there instead. During our meal, we also learned some more things about the cruise. We were told the next two days were considered ‘Fun Days at Sea’ and there would be variety of ways we could amuse ourselves. It was pointed out that a board had been placed at the rear of the dining hall and it contained the names, starting times and descriptions of shows that would be held in various locations on the ship. The performances were open to everyone and each would be held at several different times during those two days, to allow everyone who wanted to see them with the opportunity to attend.
In addition to those events, an assortment of other activities was also planned, for those wishing to participate. A list of those events and the times they would be held were also listed, so everyone could plan their own agenda. After viewing the boards and noting their choices, the boys immediately began talking amongst themselves, to determine what they wanted to do. As they learned about others with similar interests, they quickly joined up with them and made a list of what they were going to do. I interrupted their deliberations temporarily, so I could request to speak with the three I had mentioned previously, once they finished up here. They agreed to meet me back in my room, so I went there and waited for them to show up. They knocked on my door about twenty minutes later.
“What’s up, Dad?” Kevin wanted to know, once they were in my room. I then explained what I knew about the situation with Jesse and then posed my question.
“I don’t mean to single you guys out,” I began, “but I know each of you have had some less than desirable experiences with a sexual situation in the past and I need your advice. Although none of you were forced to do things with an adult, I was hoping you could use those previous tense and hostile situations to give me an idea about how I should proceed with Jesse. What would you suggest I do?”
“Dad,” Danny responded first, “I know I was a little scared about having sex with anyone after my dad treated me so badly. Even after I did start doing things, I really wasn’t enjoying it as much as I should have for quite a while afterward. That’s why I think it would be best to let Jesse do it now, since he seems to want to. It might prevent him from suffering the same way I did, than it would if he waited to try something until later.”
“I agree,” Dustin added. “After Kevin and I got caught, I wasn’t sure I could do anything again, at least until I came to live with you. My parents had me so scared that I believed no one ever did that, unless they were forced to. Once I found out others did it because they wanted to and there was no stigma attached to what they did, it really was a relief for me, even though it turned out I wasn’t gay. I think Jesse might experience the same thing. I think you should let him try it, and if he decides he doesn’t enjoy it, he could always stop and wait until he is ready.”
“I agree with both of them, Dad,” Kevin added. “Jesse really seems to want to do this, and because he’s so attached to Andrew, it might have a negative effect if you don’t let him do it. Besides, he might be hurt knowing Barry does those things with Andrew, but he isn’t allowed to.”
I was very impressed by their statements and they gave me their honest views on the subject. In fact, they added some perspectives I hadn’t considered and exposed a potential problem Jesse might experience, if I kept him from doing as he wished.
“I really want to thank you boys for this information,” I admitted. “You’ve given me some good advice and new things to consider.”
“So what are you going to do?” Dustin pressed.
“I’m going back to talk this over with Jake again,” I confirmed, “but I’m pretty sure I’m going to let Jesse get involved. It seems very important to him, and from what you’ve pointed out, it may cause him to feel inferior or left out if I deny his request.”
“I think you’re right about that,” Danny confirmed. “I’d say by letting him get involved now, you’ll be doing him a favor. I hope it blots out those other memories and prevents him from reliving them over and over.”
The boys left, since we had finished, and I went to find Jake. I explained what they had pointed out and then explained what I was thinking about doing. He agreed it was probably the best way to handle this, so we didn’t scar Jesse further.
After we finished our discussion, we went out, to watch one of the shows, but I would talk to Jesse, Andrew and Barry at bedtime. When I did, I would explain how we were going to handle this.