From the time my grown children left at Easter and up until the week I adopted all of the boys, I spent much of my spare time trying to decide what we were going to do on our vacation together. Even though my priority was for everyone to have a good time, I also wanted it to be relaxing and free of stress, especially for the working members of the family. This would be their opportunity to unwind from the rigors of their jobs, as well as spend some quality time with the rest of us. After many weeks of thought on the matter, I finally came up with an idea. With this in mind, I contacted a friend, to see if he would be able to help me work out the details. Luckily, he had what I needed and wouldn’t be requiring it during that particular time frame, so we made a deal and I called my children and set everything up for the final week of July and the first week of August.
I planned this to run for two consecutive weeks for a couple of reasons. First of all, the boys and I would be able to spend both weeks there, but this would also give the others some wiggle room, if they found they couldn’t get off one week or the other. As it turned out, three of the four decided the last week of July would be best for them, while Robert became the holdout non-conformist, as usual. He decided to come in on Thursday of the first week, so he could spend some time with his older siblings, and then he’d stay the second week, so he could have his younger brothers to himself. I thought that was pretty good planning on his part and suited his purposes quite well, even if it was a bit devious.
Now that nearly everything had been agreed upon, there was something else I needed to address. It was a persistent problem, one that had begun to manifest itself even before the boys had come to live with me, and had to do with learning potential. As the school year came to a close and everyone’s academic achievements were posted, as I expected, most of the boys had done very well. However, there were a couple of notable exceptions to this rule, but it was also clear their lack of success wasn’t due to a lack of effort. During the school year, it had been discovered that both Cole and Graham suffered from learning disabilities.
When the early signs of their difficulties became obvious, both boys were tested and evaluated by the school psychologist. She was the first to inform me about their problems. Once school was out, I had them reevaluated by another professional, in private practice, but his results were nearly identical to the first. He suggested the boys also be taken to a medical doctor, for complete physicals, to see if we might be able to pin down the source of these difficulties. After running an extensive series of tests on the two boys, it was determined that most of their problems stemmed from their mother’s indifference and lack of concern. Let me explain what I mean by that.
First of all, both boys suffered from ‘fetal alcohol syndrome,’ which was caused by their mother’s excessive drinking problem while she was pregnant with each of them. This had deprived their rapidly growing bodies from getting the nutrition they needed to develop properly and also robbed them of an appropriate oxygen supply. This had its greatest impact during the time their brains were still developing and some irreversible brain damage had occurred. Both professionals agreed the boys could be taught to compensate for some of this, but it would require an extreme effort on their part and they would be required to work twice as hard as anyone else.
As if that weren’t bad enough, this problem had been compounded by the poor diet and lack of nutrition they endured while growing up. Their physicals had shown they had also suffered from a mild form of malnutrition for most of their formative years. This not only meant their bodies had been deprived of the vitamins and minerals they needed to grow strong and healthy, but it was also severe enough to cause additional complications. Cole’s situation was the most severe, because not only had he suffered from these things over the longest time span, it was also discovered that when there was food, Cole would unselfishly give a larger portion to Graham than he would take for himself. He later explained to me, in private, that this was because he couldn’t stand seeing his brother cry from being so hungry.
Although there was nothing that could be done to reverse the situation at this point, we could make sure they ate well and received vitamins from now on. Not only that, but we would also be responsible for making certain they were provided with the educational materials and additional assistance they would need, in order for them to succeed. More importantly, we would also form a support system and provide the encouragement beneficial to motivating them sufficiently to overcome this handicap.
Once the problem was diagnosed, Ricky took it upon himself to make sure both boys were able to function and progress with his assistance. “Dad, I have to do this for them,” he told me one evening, when we were alone. “If it wasn’t for some of my neighbors who gave me things to eat from time to time or the food I got at school, I might have had those same problems too. I know my mom drank and did drugs, both during and after she had me, and now I’m beginning to think that’s what caused a lot of the problems I had in school too.”
I was momentarily speechless and just stood there looking at him. I was thinking about what a profound insight he had just made about his own situation, but Ricky interpreted my non-responsiveness as a sign I didn’t understand what he meant by his statements. Therefore, he decided to explain it in more detail for me.
“That’s part of the reason I’m so small, kind of like Graham, and why I could never settle down or control myself in class,” he admitted, referring to his hyperactivity. “I think that’s why I also had trouble learning how to read to and why I don’t like to read so much now. I’m sure I know better than any of the rest of you what it’s like for them, so I want to do whatever I can to help them get through this.” I can’t tell you how impressed I was, after he’d finished his explanation.
From that moment forward, Ricky was like a little father to the pair and that only caused Cole and Graham to adore their older brother even more than before. As a result, many nights the boys would talk him into sleeping in their room, snuggled adoringly between them, since they had pushed their two beds close together, so it was almost like having just one big bed. I think Ricky enjoyed their attention as much as they benefited from his guidance and support.
I can’t explain the depth of my pride in Ricky for what he was doing and for shouldering a great deal of this burden for me. Whenever we were alone, I would go out of my way to make a point about it and let him know how much I appreciated all of his hard work. I also told Cole and Graham how fortunate they were that Ricky was willing to assist them, and whenever I did that, they would just smile and say something like, “We know, Dad, and we love him as much as we love you.” I thought that was a truly remarkable answer.
One thing that particularly amazed me though, was how patient Ricky was with them, especially whenever they faltered. For a hyperactive young man who had trouble waiting two seconds for an answer and couldn’t sit still for longer than a heartbeat without bouncing around in his seat, he would sit with them for an hour or more, patiently teaching whatever they were currently working on. He seemed content spending his time trying to think of different ways to explain the same thing, in order to make it easier for them to understand. He was like the hyperactive version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. However, he wasn’t always the kindly Dr. Jekyll.
Mr. Hyde generally came out on the weekend, especially during the early morning hours, when Ricky would conspire with his two little charges and come up with a new way to wake me up. One day the three of them came running into my room naked, leaped high into the air and land on me, startling me awake, from out of a deep slumber.
Another time they slipped into my room at the break of dawn and tucked all my bedding under the mattress as tightly as they could, but they weren’t done yet. In order to make certain I was completely restrained, they took a length of rope, which they had previously discovered in the storage shed and hid it in their room for such an opportunity. Now that they had it, they proceeded to wrap the rope under my bed frame and over my bedding, thus effectively tying me to my bed. However, the coup-de-grace was when they began running around my room yelling ‘fire.’
I nearly had a heart attack when I couldn’t get out of the bed to save my boys, but eventually I began to realize it was just another of their pranks. After letting my heart rate and respiration settle back down from the sprinter’s pace they had risen to, I noticed all three boys laughing hysterically. Although I had to promise I wouldn’t do anything to them for this little prank, or they wouldn’t untie me, they weren’t off the hook yet. I was a very patient person.
I waited for the right moment to get revenge and luckily the opportunity presented itself later that afternoon. The trio was sitting out on the lawn, discussing something, although I wasn’t sure what they were so interested in. Seeing my opportunity, I sneaked out the back door, grabbed the garden hose, turned on the water and then slipped up behind them, unobserved. Once I was within range, I squeezed the handle on the nozzle and proceeded to douse all of them. When they wanted to know what I was doing, I told them I was only putting out the fire they had started earlier. After thinking about this a moment, they began to catch my drift and understood I had just taken advantage of a play on words and used the ploy they had dreamed up, to also pay them back.
One other morning, they raced into my room and threw damp towels on me. As if that weren’t bad enough, the boys had placed them in the freezer first, not long enough for them to get stiff, but just long enough for them to be ice cold. Needless to say, this caused me to launch out of my bed, screaming mild obscenities at them, before I grabbed one of the towels and began snapping it at their cute little butts as they fled down the hallway, squealing in delight.
On another occasion, my trio of devils had also filled my bed with an assortment from their collection of little rubber and plastic creatures as I slept, so these toys would work there way under me as I tossed and turned. They hoped this would lead me to believe that vermin were invading my bed, but I felt more like Gulliver being prodded by the Lilliputians, as he lay on the beach.
One other time, the three of them got on one side of my mattress and managed to lift it up, thus rolling me onto the floor. I would never have guessed they would have been strong enough to do that, but I was rudely proven wrong.
Another memorable event happened when they took their boom boxes and set them in a triangular arrangement around my bed. Each was set to maximum volume, but tuned to different radio stations, before they plugged them in. When the speakers began to blast this cacophony simultaneously, I shot upright in my bed, startled out of my slumber. After the other boys came in and scraped me off of the ceiling, I chased my three little monsters all around the house, smacking their bare bottoms playfully each time I caught up to one of them. Ricky still retained his unique ability to cause mischief and was taking great pleasure in teaching those skills to his little brothers, as well. This was definitely causing them to bond even closer.
In between Easter and our summer vacation, we also celebrated a couple of birthdays. Jay turned fourteen on June 10th and Ricky turned fourteen on July 7th. We had parties for each of them, and included our entire extended families and a few of the boys’ friends. Ricky got teased a bit that Jay was nearly a month older than he was, but he took it in good humor and played along with what was being said. I think this was due in part because he found some comfort in the fact that he was no longer the baby of the family, since Graham had now assumed that honor.
No matter how much everyone teased him, Ricky still commanded respect from his brothers and was greatly adored by Cole and Graham. Ricky, however, was not the only one who was the focal point of hero worship. Cole and Graham also had two little admirers of their own: my grandsons. Jordan and Nicky thought the sun rose and set because of their uncles and that Cole and Graham were real life superheroes, of sorts. When we’d met for our joint summer vacation with my oldest children, the two little ones wouldn’t allow themselves to be separated from their youngest uncles, even to spend time with their parents. The four of them played together, ate together and even shared one bed, nearly every evening they were with us. However, I guess I’m getting ahead of myself here, so I’ll tell you more about that in more detail, in due time.
After all that time trying to come up with an idea for our vacation, I had finally decided to take everyone to my friend’s cottage, which was located on a fairly large lake. I had talked him into renting me the place for two weeks, as I felt this would be just what the doctor ordered for all of us. After picking up Brandon and Jay, so they could join us, the boys and I still got there well ahead of the others. We then took time to air out the place, put clean linens on all of the beds and stocked the fridge to the brim. By the time my older children began to arrive, the boys were already diving off of the dock and swimming in the lake.
Nicky got there first, with his parents, and immediately sought out Graham. Graham could barely wait to give him the water wings I had purchased for Nicky to use while he was there, as he was still too young to be much of a swimmer. That’s why I didn’t want him out swimming with the boys, without utilizing these safety devices. By the time Jordan got there with his family, the others were already out splashing around and he was kind of disappointed he had missed out on some of the fun. After I assessed the situation, I suggested I could call Cole and have him come back to the cottage to pick him up, which seemed to make Jordan forget about his disappointment at arriving later than the others. Cole and Jordan both lit up like Times Square on New Year’s Eve, the moment they saw each other again. I was glad they felt so strongly about each other and had become soul mates, the same way Graham and Nicky had done.
After a few minutes of getting reacquainted, Cole presented Jordan with his water wings too. Knowing Jordan might think he was too old for such things, as he was a year older than Nicky, Cole quickly explained to him that it would help Nicky feel better if he also wore them. Since it was Cole who had asked him to do this, and thinking it would also make things easier for his cousin, he did as requested, but it also gave the rest of us a little more peace of mind knowing he was using them.
During the rest of that day, we all found time to swim, as well as lounge about and get some sun, while also making time to catch up on what the others had been up to, since we’d last been together. The boys gladly told their older siblings about their exploits, but also listened amazingly well when the older gang did the same. Not only that, but they were also exceptionally patient when listening to Nicky and Jordan tell them about all the things they’d been up to. My grandson’s mouths were both like the energizer rabbit – they just kept going and going and … well, you get the idea.
At dinner, Michael and Adrian (my son-in-law) offered to get up early the next morning and take out anyone who wanted to go fishing with them. I immediately began to wonder if any of the boys would take them up on their invitation, until Dustin and Danny said they’d like to go. The other boys just weren’t as keen on the idea of getting up early, sitting quietly in a boat and then, worst of all, having to clean the fish they caught, since the fisherman had already promised to supply the meat for dinner. And then there were the little ones, who just thought catching fish was ‘yucky.’
The boys were going to use one of my friend’s boats, since he had previously told me we were welcome to use any of them. He had a larger boat I think all of us would fit on, a smaller, faster motorboat and a rowboat. In anticipation of using the motorized versions, I’d filled up a couple of gas cans along the way, just before we reached the cabin. I’d figured the gasoline would come in handy, since I suspected the boats would probably be kept quite busy.
The fishermen were all up before sunrise, so they could be out on the lake when the fish were biting the best. I heard them get up, so I went to the kitchen and fixed them some breakfast, while they were getting their things together. I didn’t want their grumbling tummies to scare away what was out there, since I was looking forward to a nice fish dinner later. By the time the rest of the boys were getting up, somewhere around 10:00, the fishermen were already heading back to the cabin holding up a small collection of rainbow trout and small-mouth bass. Danny and Dustin looked as proud as could be, as they displayed their catch to me.
“Looks like tonight’s dinner has been provided by our newest anglers,” I announced, eliciting smiles in response.
“These two were naturals,” Michael quickly added. “I’ve never seen anyone take to fishing so quickly in my life.”
“Let’s see how they do when it comes to cleaning them,” Adrian teased, drawing disgusted looks from the pair he was commenting about.
“You don’t think we can do it?” Danny asked, more of a challenge than a question.
“I’ve had friends who got that far and then lost their enthusiasm for the sport,” Adrian announced, in reply.
“Well, I won’t have a problem with it,” Danny shot back. “I want to be a doctor, so I’ll be cutting into things that will affect me more than just a bunch of fish.” I found it astounding that this was the first time I’d heard Danny mention his career goal, but I was also quite impressed by it.
“And it won’t bother me neither,” Dustin added. “I went hunting a few times with one of my foster parents and he made me skin and clean what we killed. I was able to handle that, so I’ll be able to do this too.”
Both Michael and Adrian were taken slightly aback by the boys’ stubborn determination, so they took them into the kitchen area, to teach them how it was done. To their surprise, the boys did a very good job and had no problems doing whatever they were taught, which gained them a great deal of admiration from their mentors.
“I’m impressed,” Michael told them. “You guys have more spunk than I gave you credit for. Anytime either of you want to go fishing or even hunting, I’d be happy to take you with me.” I think that was the highest compliment either boy could have received and their chests swelled, as they thanked Michael for his kind offer.
After putting the fish in the fridge, Danny and Dustin changed into their swimwear, so they could go out and join the others, who were already frolicking in the lake. As soon as they were out of earshot, Michael filled me in about some of the details of their fishing excursion.
“I mean it, Pop,” Michael began. “Those two really impressed me. I’ve never been out with first timers who caught on as quickly or were willing to do as much as they were. Most of the guys I’ve taken out were usually a little squeamish at first, and if not then, they would get that way when it came to cleaning the fish, but not these two.”
“I’m glad you took them out,” I told both of them, in all sincerity. “You know hunting and fishing have never been my thing, even though I took you out when you were younger. It’s really nice to see you all growing so close, by doing things like this together.”
“Pop, I love having all these little brothers,” he blurted in response. “They’re all so different, yet I feel close to each of them, but in different ways. You aren’t the only one who’s benefiting from having them around.” I knew he truly meant this.
“Same goes for me, Pop,” Adrian added. “You know I was the only boy in my family and had to live with two sisters, so I think that’s why Michael and I have always gotten along so well. But now, I really love having all these younger brothers, so I can teach them all the things I wished an older brother would have taught me.” Marie had previously told me, in the strictest confidence, about how Adrian had always regretted being the only son. However, I’d never heard him express it to any of the rest of us before, at least not until now.
“Well, go join them out in the lake then, but don’t forget your sons,” I warned them. “Even though they love their uncles’ attention, they don’t want their fathers to forget about them completely.”
“Oh, we won’t,” Michael assured me, “and thanks for doing this. It’s working out great.”
“Yes,” Adrian chimed in, “this is turning out to be a great vacation.”
My daughters and daughter-in-law had also been enjoying their time here and had been out sunning themselves most of the morning, when they weren’t taking a breather in the lake. However, I think the best part of their vacation, at least so far, was the fact that the other boys were looking after their sons, so they didn’t have to worry about them. Not only that, but I was doing most of the cooking, along with Michael’s help, so they didn’t have kitchen duties either. Since Michael had always enjoyed being the main man at our cookouts, he was the logical choice to give me a hand, but he pitched in and did more than I expected. Not wanting to look lazy or be left out, Adrian was helping out too and the other boys were splitting the clean-up duties, so the ladies were completely free of these responsibilities.
After lunch, Michael and Adrian decided to take the boys out and teach them how to water-ski. They were planning to use the smaller, faster boat for this purpose, since they would need something with a little muscle, to generate enough speed to get the boys up and gliding on top of the water. With the exception of Cole, Graham and my two grandsons, everyone gave it a try, with varying degrees of success. The older boys took to this activity immediately, and even Jay managed to get up on the skis and did remarkably well. What caused his undoing was when he tried to cross over the wake from the boat. Hitting that small ripple of water sent him sprawling, like a wounded duck, into the water. Even with that miscue, though, I think he was extremely pleased by how well he had done – even better than some of the others.
However, there was a subtler competition going on here too. The girls weren’t about to be outdone by the boys’ quick adaptation to this sport, so they immediately set out to prove that being a member of the feminine gender didn’t mean they were weaker or not as athletic. I think the boys were both shocked and impressed by what they saw and managed to learn a valuable lesson in the process. Never underestimate someone because of the way they looked or how they were built. Both of my daughters had always participated in various sports while they were in school, so I wasn’t surprised to see them going out of their way to prove this point. Even my daughter-in-law gave it her best effort, which was nearly as good as her counterparts.
Once everyone began to grow tired and hungry, I went inside to cook the fish the boys had caught for dinner. I also made a few side dishes to go along with it, along with macaroni and cheese for the littlest ones. I think everyone was pleased with what they got, not only because it tasted great and was filling, but also because of the fact that the main course had been provided by others we love.
After dinner, some of the boys decided to go out and try to catch some frogs as it started to get dark, while most of the rest of us just sat outside on the porch and chatted. I couldn’t think of a lovelier way to end to this wonderful day.