It was a very long weekend and there was a great deal of tension in the house. The boys all tried to let Kevin know they were there for him, but were leery about what they should say, because they didn’t want to make matters worse. Kevin continued to sleep with me each night, so Trey stayed in with Dustin. That was good, too, because they were able to comfort and help allay each other’s fears without Kevin being there. All in all, however, it was a very trying time.
Unfortunately, the week that followed wasn’t any better and that wasn’t the only problem we faced. Tuesday night Ricky, Graham and Cole came to me and told me that money was missing from their bank. They explained that when they went to get the money out, so they could buy something for Kevin to take with him to the hospital, they discovered it wasn’t there. They told me all they found in there were the coins, but all of the bills were gone. I asked them if they knew when this might have happened and they said ‘no’. The last time they had seen the bills in the bank was a month and a half ago. I informed them I’d see what I could do about figuring this out, but I wasn’t optimistic. There had been numerous people in and out of the house during that period of time and it would be hard to pinpoint who might have taken the money. I suggested that, in the future, they give their money to me, so I can put in the safe, and then I also gave them $20.00, to replace at least some of the missing money. The boys had good intentions and I didn’t want to penalize them for someone else’s action.
On Wednesday, the problem deepened. Danny came up to me and asked if I’d seen the gold chain I’d bought him for one of his birthdays. He thought he might have misplaced it, but after asking him several questions about it and with the knowledge about the missing money, I suspected otherwise. I was now concerned that I either had a thief in my household or someone close to us was less than honest. I knew something would have to be done, I just wasn’t sure yet what it was.
Later Wednesday, things got worse. Dustin was going around asking everyone if they had seen the boom box that belonged to Kevin and him. It had suddenly come up missing in action. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Now, I had to do something. Thursday after school I called all the boys into the living room for a discussion.
“Boys, I think that we’ve got a serious problem here and I feel that I need to do something to counteract the effects of what has been happening,” I began. “I’m not sure how long this has been going on, but things have been disappearing from various rooms. At first, I thought I could just lock up a few things to keep them safe, but now I’m afraid that small effort won’t be enough. I hate to do this, but I called my contractor earlier today and asked him to install a key-entry deadbolt lock on each room. He’ll be here Monday to do the work.”
The boys all began to look around, suddenly realizing there might be a thief among them. As they looked at each other, trying to figure out if it might be one of them or someone who came there frequently, I continued.
“I will give you each a key to your own door, so you can keep your valuables safe, but I will keep a duplicate key in my safe, just in case you lose yours. I hope we won’t need to use these measures forever, but for the time being, I don’t see any other option. I’m sure that whoever took these things has either disposed of them or hidden them. I hate to accuse any of you without proof and I don’t want to include the innocent in a random search, so none will be conducted.”
I’m not sure how the boys were reacting to that comment. I think some of them wanted me to start searching for the missing items, yet they would have been hurt if I’d searched their room, figuring I suspected they might be the thief. I think they all began to realize I couldn’t search one room without searching them all, unless I had some proof about who might have done it. Now they went back to listening to what I had to say.
“I’ve always tried to make sure that each of you had what you needed and most of what you wanted. Of course, I had limits on the reasonableness of what you could have, but I’ve never felt any of you were being treated unjustly or deprived of what you needed. You don’t know how bad this makes me feel to have to go to these extremes, but I want to protect those of you who are innocent from the one or ones who are not. If the guilty party wants to own up to what he has done, I will be fair about a suitable punishment and not expose him to the rest of the others. If I haven’t heard anything by tomorrow morning, I will let the contractor install the locks on Monday and then I’ll pass out the keys. Any questions?”
I think most of the boys were still too shocked to respond. After a couple of minutes I sent them on their way and I went to sit alone in my office. Some of the boys stopped by, one at a time, to offer their sympathy or thoughts about what had happened, but I never got a confession. I was sorely disappointed by the time I went to bed. Kevin was still sleeping with me, and it he seemed that he wanted to talk about it, before we turned in.
“Do you think it’s one of the three new boys?” he asked, although I wasn’t sure if he believed it might be one of them.
“I have no idea, Kevin, and I don’t want to speculate or accuse anyone unjustly,” I explained.
“But who else could it be?” he countered. “The rest of us have been together a long time and this has never happened before. It’s got to be one of them, right?”
“Not necessarily,” I confessed. “It could be one of the others who had a change in their situation or maybe just a case of good, old-fashion greed. Maybe someone needed something for who knows what reason and thought that was the only way to get it. I don’t know who did this, nor do I know why, but I’ve got to discover who it is and put a stop to this.”
“Do you really think one of your sons would do that?” Kevin pressed, in an effort to convince me it wasn’t one of them. “Come on, Dad. None of us are afraid to come to you with a problem. If one of us needed something, we’d just ask you. It’s got to be one of the others.”
“The odds are probably greater in that direction, but I don’t want to accuse any or all of them without good reason,” I conceded. “I don’t consider the fact I don’t know them as well the rest of you as sufficient justification to suspect them or search their rooms. I will definitely keep my eyes open and take precautionary actions, but I will not blame or accuse anyone without some kind of proof. Enough talk about that, though. How are you doing?”
Kevin hesitated before he answered, so I took it he wasn’t happy about my not agreeing with him or with my putting a halt to the discussion. After a minute or so, he finally answered me.
“Fine, I guess. I’ve tried not to think about it much,” he confessed. “Everyone has tried to keep me busy so I wouldn’t have time to consider it much. I guess it’s worked, because I haven’t thought about it hardly at all. I’m still nervous and scared about what the doctor might do to me, but I guess I understand now that I’ll have to do it or I might lose more than just one nut. I’m okay, Dad, mostly because you and my brothers have been so great about helping me through this. Thanks.”
Kevin gave me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, placed his head on my shoulder, and we remained that way until we fell asleep. Actually, we remained that way until we woke up the following morning. I awoke first, before the alarm, so I lay there looking at him as he rested so peacefully against me. When the alarm eventually went off, Kevin began to stir. I reached out toward my nightstand, without looking, and shut off the annoying device. Kevin looked up at me and smiled.
“How long have you been awake?” he asked me.
“How did you know I was awake?” I countered.
“Because you always jump a little when the alarm goes off,” he told me, “and you didn’t do that this time.” I didn’t realize I had such an idiosyncrasy or that he was so observant.
“Think you’re smart, don’t you?” I teased and he just smiled. “I was only awake for a few minutes before you.”
“And you were staring at me, right?” he followed.
“Guilty as charged, your honor,” I confessed. “You looked so peaceful this morning that I couldn’t resist.”
“And because you love me, right?” he added.
“Of course you’re right. I love all my boys,” I admitted.
“And we love you too,” he quickly countered, “and I’m glad we have you.”
“And I’m glad I have all of my boys,” I added. “You’ve each brought so much to my life.”
“Yeah, like medical problems, constant running around, thieves…” Kevin mocked, while giving me one of his special smiles, but I had to interrupt him.
“And the love, the good times and the memories I shall cherish forever.” We looked at each other, knowing there was much more to our lives together than just the good times and the bad. I ruffled his hair, pushed him out of bed and chased him into my bathroom.
“You get showered and I’ll go down and start breakfast,” I yelled behind him.
“Okay, Dad. I’ll see you downstairs,” he confirmed.
This was Kevin’s big day and I was pleasantly surprised at how well he was dealing with it. Throughout the morning, no one said anything to him about his upcoming operation, although they did all wish him well when we dropped them off early at their schools. They agreed to wait around outside their buildings until school started, so I wouldn’t have to leave Kevin at any point. I had also reminded them once more, at breakfast, that they were on their own tonight for dinner. I would remain at the hospital with Kevin the entire day, and one of my friends would drop Dustin off at the hospital after classes, so he could join us. Everyone knew I wouldn’t be home until very late, so the older boys were to help look out for the younger ones until I returned.
Just before we were ready to drive away, the terrible trio came back to talk to Kevin. “Kevin,” Ricky began, “we all bought you something for today, but we didn’t want to give them to you in front of the others. We thought they might feel guilty they didn’t get you anything or they might get mad at us for not including them in on our gift.”
“We wanted to give you something that might help you through the day,” Cole added, practically cutting Ricky off.
“So we got you these,” Graham said, in his tiny little voice, while handing something to Kevin. Kevin quickly held it up to examine it. It was a simple chain on which hung a rabbit’s foot, a four leaf clover in a round plastic pendant, and, as was explained to us later, a piece of the Blarney Stone, crisscrossed in a metal frame with a connecting loop. Each of them had given him one of the best-known symbols for bringing luck that man has ever known, in hopes that their combined powers would bring him successfully through his ordeal. Kevin and I were both touched by this simple, yet extremely thoughtful, gesture.
“We just thought they might help,” Ricky added, in explanation. “I mean they can’t hurt.”
Kevin immediately unsnapped his seatbelt and leaped out of the van, so he could hug his three brothers, as a way to thank them for their thoughtful.
“You know, you guys aren’t really devils after all,” he whispered to them, which drew smiles from each of them. However, Ricky couldn’t let it go, without one additional comment.
“And who said we were?” he shot back.
When Kevin got back into his seat, I saw the tears streaking down his cheek. I tried to wipe the tears from MY eyes, hoping he wouldn’t notice what I was doing, as he refastened his seat belt. Things remained very serious and quiet for a while, but that did change. We were nearly to the hospital when Kevin started joking around.
“Well, it won’t be long before I’m your only one-balled son,” he quipped. “It’s a good thing I know both you and Dustin will still love me when my voice starts getting higher.”
I looked at him and tried to determine if there was more to this jocularity than met the eye, but he seemed to be doing just fine. “It doesn’t quite work like that,” I responded, in case it wasn’t a joke. “You won’t be singing soprano any time soon and your body will still produce enough testosterone to keep you maturing just as you are. The only way anyone will ever notice the difference is if they’re playing around down there.”
“Then I guess there won’t be many people knowing about this then, will there?” he quickly countered, before letting out a little giggle.
“That’s entirely up to you,” I responded. After saying that, I looked over at Kevin again, to see how he was doing. He just sat there smiling at me.
“I’m very proud of you, young man,” I informed him. “I don’t know many boys or men who could go through this and take it as well as you are doing. I’ll stay with you as long as I can today and then I’ll be there for you when they bring you back out. I love you and everything will be fine. I promise.”
“Thanks, Dad,” he replied. “I just want to live and I know I probably won’t be able to do that if I keep this diseased nut. Knowing that made me realize I’d rather have them take it out, rather than lose everything else. I guess going through this before, with the cyst and all, and knowing that none of you will treat me any differently afterwards helps. I know I’ll be okay with all of you around to help me through it.”
“My brave little soldier. I’m so proud of you,” I told him, just as I pulled into a parking space.
We sat there looking at each other for a few more seconds before we got out, and then I walked around to his side of the van, put my arm over his shoulders and walked with him toward the main entrance. We had only gone a few steps before I felt his arm come up wrap around my waist, and we walked like this into hospital, ready to face the challenges ahead.
I was allowed to go with him, while he changed into his hospital gown. It’s a damn good thing he isn’t shy about his body, with that thing to wear. Once he was ready, he climbed up on the stretcher and I was able to walk beside him, as they wheeled him down to the operating room. When we stopped and one of the orderlies explained that was as far as I could go with them, I kissed Kevin on the forehead and told him I’d still be here when he came back out. I watched as they wheeled him through the doors of the O.R.
Once they were out of sight, I walked down to the waiting area and tried to occupy my mind with other thoughts. However, I wasn’t succeeding. Although I first tried to get interested in the television program that was on, when that didn’t work, I picked up some of the ancient magazines that adorned the various tables and tried to find something interesting to read. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to help distract me from worrying about my boy.
It was about an hour later when the doctor came in and called my name. I jumped up and went to meet him. “Everything went fine,” he reassured me. “He’s in recovery now and they’ll take him to his room once he’s alert. I want to keep him overnight, just as a precaution, and you may take him home tomorrow, if everything goes well. We’re sending the testicle away for testing and I’ll let you know the results from that, when I get them.”
“Thank you, doctor. I appreciate everything you’ve done for him,” I told him, while hoping it was enough.
“You’re welcome and it was my pleasure,” he replied. “I’ll see to it that someone comes out to get you when they take him to his room, since I know you’ll probably want to stay in there with him. I’ll be around later to see him and evaluate how he’s doing.”
I’m not sure how much longer it was before another orderly came in and called my name. Eagerly, I jumped up and followed him out to where Kevin’s stretcher waited for us in the hallway. He and the nurse then guided us through the corridors, into an elevator and up to Kevin’s room. I was able to talk to him at various points along the way and happily told him that the doctor said everything went well and he was doing fine. He flashed me a weak smile, so I knew he understood and I said no more.
When we arrived at his room, I waited outside the door until the orderly and nurse had him situated. Once I was told I could enter, I went in and sat down in the chair beside his bed. Kevin kept drifting in and out, as the drugs were still making him very drowsy, so I merely held his hand and stroked his head as I sat with him. I lost all track of time until Dustin walked in, which gave me a rough idea about how late it was. Dustin came over and stood by me, before sitting on one of my knees. We continued to sit like that and talk to Kevin, whenever he was awake. We were having a conversation about something inane when meals on wheels rolled up outside his door.
“I think I’ll run down to the cafeteria and get Dustin and me something to eat,” I informed them, “and then I’ll bring it back here, so we can eat with Kevin.” Both boys seemed to approve of my suggestion.
As I left the area, I asked one of the nurses if I could bring Kevin back a milkshake as a treat. After looking at his chart, she said that would be fine. I only left the boys alone for a brief time, just long enough to retrieve the food, but Kevin had already finished his meal by the time I got back. Without hesitating, I handed him his chocolate shake, which caused him to smile and lick his lips. Dustin and I began eating our food and we both had shakes as well. It wasn’t bad, for hospital food, but the shake made it seem even more enjoyable.
Once Kevin had finished his shake, he dozed off again and slept for a while. By the time he came to, we had finished our meal and were watching television. Kevin joined us and we were soon shouting out and debating answers for one of those early evening game shows. I think the nurses all thought we were all a little nuts.
Even though Kevin kept drifting in and out with us all evening, he was alert enough to discover a problem. It happened just after nine. “Dad, I forgot to bring my pouch!” he exclaimed, panicked. “I meant to put it in my pocket this morning, but I guess I forgot it. I’m going to need it, after you guys leave.”
“Why don’t I just run home and get it for you now?” I suggested. “I know right where it is and Dustin can stay with you while I go retrieve it. Then we’ll both stay with you until the nurses kick us out, when visiting hours end.”
That idea mollified Kevin, so I went home to retrieve his teen ‘pacifier.’ On second thought, maybe ‘security blanket’ is a better description of the purpose his pouch serves. As long as it made him feel better once we were gone for the evening, I had no trouble getting it for him. As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed there were other cars parked along the street and in our driveway that I didn’t recognize. I walked into the house and was shocked by what I found. There were a number of teens, both male and female, walking around my house, drinking beer and making out.
“Party’s over,” I yelled out. “I want everyone who doesn’t belong out of here.” Only a few people started to move toward the door. “I will notify the police in ten minutes to remove anyone who still remains,” I added. Now, there was a mad dash to the exits and soon everyone was gone, except for my boys. I must admit I made one mistake, which was I hadn’t thought beforehand about people driving after they had been drinking. I only hoped it would not prove to be a fatal mistake. I concluded I had been concentrating so much on Kevin that I failed to recognize this problem, before I evicted all of our unwanted guests.
Concerned and upset by what I had just walked into, I summoned all of the boys to the family room.
“I want to know who’s responsible for this NOW?” I announced, shocking them all by my forcefulness. They all looked down at their feet and there was no response, until Danny spoke up.
“I guess that really isn’t important, because we all went along with the idea,” he admitted.
“Then you are saying you’re all responsible?” I asked, in order to clarify what he was saying.
“Yeah, I guess I am,” he confirmed. It took a while for me to accept that they had collectively thought up the idea to throw a party at the house, while Dustin and I sat with Kevin at the hospital.
“Not only am I disappointed you would do this behind my back,” I chided them, “but to do it while Kevin is in the hospital recovering from surgery is even worse. You boys know you are allowed to drink in the house if you wish, within reason, and that I’m generally willing to give you the chance to try such things, as long as it’s controlled in our own home and there is no chance of it harming others. It’s just that I don’t expect this to include others from outside our home or for it to happen without my knowledge. I don’t know what to say, except there will be repercussions from this, but I can’t deal with it now. I just came back to get something for Kevin, so I’ll retrieve it and return to be with him for a while longer. I will definitely be home earlier than I had originally planned, now that I’ve learned I can’t trust any of you any longer.”
“You can trust us, Dad,” Ricky answered. “We just made a mistake. Please, stay with Kevin. He needs you now and I don’t want to mess that up too.”
“You already have,” I informed him. “I’ve told you boys many times that I will trust you until you prove to me you can’t be trusted, and tonight you’ve proven just that. I’ve also told you repeatedly that once you lose my trust, it will be very difficult to earn it back. I’m afraid you will not have my trust again, until you can demonstrate to me that you once again deserve it. I will be back shortly and I only pray you won’t mess up again. I wouldn’t leave at all, if I hadn’t promised Kevin to get this for him and didn’t need to pick up Dustin. I want you all to get ready for bed and we’ll talk more about this tomorrow.”
“This really sucks, man,” Frankie added from the background. “What’s the big deal anyway?”
“The big deal is that you’re all underage and this took place in my home, which makes me responsible. Not only that, but I don’t approve of what you boys did. Do you need more?”
“Nah,” Frankie answered me. “This place is just like every place else. No one wants to see teenagers have any fun.”
“You’re wrong,” I corrected him. “We don’t mind seeing teenagers having fun, it’s just a difference of opinion on what they need to do to have fun. Beer blasts are not an acceptable choice and such things will not happen in this house. This will also mean there will be greater scrutiny on your whereabouts at other times now, as well. If you’d do this here, then I can only imagine what you’d do elsewhere, so from now on I will demand specifics about where you will be and whom you will be with. I might also check up on the information you give me, just to make sure it is accurate.”
“Man,” Frankie yelled again, “this is turning into a big jail.”
“Does anyone, besides Frankie, think that I’m being unfair?” There was no response.
“Shit. They’re all scared of you,” he told me.
“I’ve never known these boys to stop speaking their minds or fail to argue with me when they thought I was wrong,” I informed him. “Unless they tell me otherwise, I will assume you are the only one who thinks my actions are unjust.”
“Come on, you wussies,” Frankie urged them. “Tell him what you really think.”
“He already knows,” Danny answered him. “We all know what we did was wrong and now we have to answer for it. The rest of us are man enough to take our punishment and we think you should be, too.”
“You guys are hopeless,” Frankie shot back, before storming out of the room and heading up to his bedroom. Once he was gone, the other boys all apologized to me, as they passed by to go to their own rooms. Once they had all gone, I went up to my room to retrieve the object that led me to discover this clandestine gathering in the first place.
A short time later, I was back at the hospital and in Kevin’s room. I handed him his little pouch and then I told the two of them what I had discovered at the house when I arrived. They both looked at each other, and I understood there was some sort of silent communication going on. I just waited to see what was going to happen, but I had the feeling they knew about this before I told them what I had discovered.
“Dad, I don’t want to be a snitch,” Dustin began, “but we knew Frankie was trying to talk the others into having a party at the house. We didn’t get involved, because we knew we wouldn’t be there, but we thought the others were going to talk him out of it.”
“Well, I guess they didn’t, so they’re all equally guilty,” I explained. “In a way, I am kind of proud of the rest of them for not trying to pin the whole thing on Frankie and accepting some of the blame themselves, but I’m still upset about their lack of judgment. There are so many things that should have made alarm bells sound in their brains, so they wouldn’t have gone along with the idea.” Kevin and Dustin were both looking at me, not having seen me this animated before, but I was on a roll and not about to stop.
“First, they should have thought about your little bout with ecstasy, for one. Allergic reactions can happen to alcohol as well, not including the chance of alcohol poisoning. Second, I work for the school district and deal with children on a daily basis. How would it look to the other parents, if they discovered keg parties were being held at my house and given by my sons? Then, there’s the liability question. If anyone were injured at our place or as a result of what they did there, they’d sue me for everything I had. That means the house and all the money that is supposed to be used to raise you boys and give you a good start in life would be gone. We would all lose big time, if anything had happened. Last, there’s the question of legality and acceptance. Every one of you knows it’s not legal for minors to drink and they definitely should have known that I wouldn’t approve. That’s why they did it behind my back. I won’t be able to put this behind me until I’m certain they understand how wrong they were and I’m positively convinced there will be no repeat performances.”
Once I finished my little tirade, not another word was spoken about this issue. We sat with Kevin for a little while longer and then informed him I had to go. I needed to get back home to make certain the partiers hadn’t returned. Kevin told me not to worry about leaving early, because he understood. I thanked him for his mature attitude and informed him I would see him again in the morning. I said my final good night and then kissed him on the forehead, before leaving Dustin alone with him for a brief time, so they could say their good-byes in private
By the time Dustin and I got home, everyone else was in bed. We soon joined them, but sleep didn’t come easily or quickly for me. A multitude of things were racing around in my mind. until I finally slipped off into a dream-filled slumber. These were neither good dreams, nor were they nightmares. They were just disturbing visions of different situations the boys might get into, and that alone made it difficult for me to enjoy a decent night’s rest. Actually, I was kind of glad when the alarm went off the next morning, because instead of startling me awake, it just brought my troubling visions to an end.