"You are not my son, and you are not fit to live." I staggered back from my father's words. "Did you not think I would learn of your perversion and sin?" I turned to look at my mother and saw her step in between me and my father. I then watched her fall as he killed her with a big knife from the kitchen counter. He came at me with the knife dripping with her blood.
"FATHER! NO!"
"Elijah! Wake up. I've got you, Frodo. You're safe here with me."
I opened my eyes to see Robin's face less than an inch from my own. He started kissing all over my face. His mother pulled him back so she could grab me and hold me in her arms and Robin spun around and sat beside me on the bed. I could see a teary little girl in her father's arms at my bedroom door.
"Please don't hurt me, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you all up. Don't hit me."
The hugs from Robin and his mom got tighter and although I couldn't see it for the tears running out of my eyes, Mr. Keane wiped tears from his face as well. Tania surprised us all, though. She struggled free of her dad's arms and came over to my bed with her hands on her hips.
"You scared me," she said firmly. "That was mean. Now you have to let me sleep in here with you to make it up to me. Everybody else out. I'm sleepy, so we're going to bed now." She was so forceful that we all obeyed her. Well, after a look of question from her parents to me and a nod in return, that is. Robin was the last one to the door and he looked back at me as Tania climbed up and got under the covers beside me. She looked at him, saw his puppy dog expression and rolled her eyes dramatically. "Ok, fine, you can stay, too, but no kissing."
"Can I kiss you for letting me stay?" he asked her sweetly.
"EEEWW I don't want boy germs, go away," she squealed. "You get that side of the bed," she added pointing at the opposite side of me. Robin crawled over the two of us and got his legs under the covers on his designated side of my bed. "Now, do you want to go to sleep or do you want a story? Daddy tells me stories when I get bad dreams. I know... I can tell you the story he told me about my painting. It's your painting now because this is your room, so you gotta know the story." With that, a precious little girl started telling me a bedtime story all about the princess that lived in the castle on my wall and the unicorn that was her very best friend. Between that and Robin cuddling up to me on the other side, I was soon falling asleep and I woke up peacefully the next morning.
I carefully wiggled out of bed so I didn't disturb my knight in shining pajamas, or my little guardian princess, and after stopping in the bathroom, I followed my nose to the kitchen where Baka and Mrs. Keane were making breakfast. Baka saw me first and came over to me, putting her hands on my cheeks and kissed me several times on the forehead and on my eyelids. "No more these bad dreams for you. No more," she said firmly. "Come, you need to eat."
I was staring at my third plate of scrambled eggs and sausage by the time Robin made it to the breakfast table still yawning. I quickly shoveled some of the food from my plate to his when Baka wasn't looking. It was a bad idea.
"See there?" Baka practically crowed in triumph. "You told me you couldn't eat another bite, but you cleaned that plate again. You're still hungry, Baka knows. I fix you more." I groaned and my loving boyfriend beside me just giggled at my misery. "And you mister man," Baka said pointing at him. "Where are your manners, taking that much food for yourself when we have your young man in the house to take care of now? You should be ashamed of yourself."
"He didn't really, Baka," I defended him quickly. "Please don't hurt him. I put the food on his plate because I wasn't hungry anymore. It's my fault, not his. He didn't do anything wrong."
"Peace," Baka whispered as she came over and hugged me so tight she almost squeezed all of the breakfast back out that she had fed me. "You should have told me you weren't hungry, chav," she fussed as she kissed the top of my head several times. "Now, I hear from a little bird that you have a lot of neckties. You don't want to keep the neckties, either, Baka knows. You show Baka these neckties and I tell you all about the idea I saw on the computer at the senior center of what we're going to do with them. You can decide who you will give it to when we're done."
She got me up and held my hand as we walked back to my room where Tania had just woken up. The little angel gave me and her grandmother hugs as she ran out of the room toward the kitchen yelling at her brother not to eat everything before she got some too. Baka had me open the box that had the ties all folded up in it still and she threw her hands up in surprise. She seemed really excited at how many were there, and she proceeded to tell me about seeing a skirt made out of neckties on the Internet. Having her start talking to me about clothes was just what I needed I guess, because we were still talking away while looking through my costume book when My Queen came to tell us that it was time to get ready for the funeral.
"Elijah, there is something I thought we should ask you about," she added as her husband walked into my room as well. "You mentioned that your mother's parents live in the nursing home near here, and we thought, if you are okay with it, we could make a video of her funeral so that they could watch it since they are unable to attend."
"You want to... You would really do that for them, for me?" I whispered.
"Only if you want us to, son," My King said softly as he sat on my bed beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. That was all it took. He called me son. I couldn't have stopped the ugly crying at that point if my life had depended on it. My new parents both hugged me tight as I broke down, not only from the grief of losing my mother, but also in response to the incredible love, support, and thoughtfulness they were showing me as well. After a couple of minutes of bawling by me and My Queen, they left the room so I could get dressed. I had kept my favorite purple tie, which had been a birthday present last year from my mother when I gave all the others to Baka, and I wore it with my black suit and white shirt. I stepped into the kitchen where I could hear my new family. Robin was attempting to shove about nine folded handkerchiefs into the pocket of his gray jacket. When he looked up and saw me, they burst out of his hand and fluttered to the floor all around him.
"WOW!" he whispered. "Are there any clothes that you don't look incredibly hot in?"
I blushed and grinned a little bit. "You look great too, but that isn't a great color for you."
"I'm sorry I don't have a black suit to wear," he frowned and looked down, suddenly seeing all the handkerchiefs on the floor and started grabbing them up. "This was bought for a wedding I had to go to a few months ago, or I wouldn't have had a suit at all."
"Well, when we get home later, we can see if this black one fits you and the gray one fits me, because the coloring will be better for you, and it will give me new and better memories of this one," I told him as I helped him gather up all the scattered squares of cloth. "Why do you have so many handkerchiefs?" I laughed.
"Dad thought it would be a good idea to have one in case someone around me needed one, and I got to thinking it's your mother's funeral. If you don't need some of them my mom will, and probably so will I."
"You have a kind and good heart, Robin Goodfellow," I told him with a smile. "I shall keep thee near, that I may depend upon your arm for strength, your heart for love, and your pockets for a clean and dry countenance."
"In all those ways and more, may I be found of good use to you, my merchant prince," Robin grinned back lovingly.
"Let's get out of here, before we have to shovel our way out," My king told my queen as he teased us both. He got serious then and told me, "The sheriff and the chief of police will have people all around the church grounds so that no one you don't want to deal with will be allowed into the services."
As we drove up to the church, I was distracted by the beautiful building so that I paid no attention to the crowd the police were holding back behind barricades. The right front corner of the building was a tower with a spire and I immediately wondered if there were bells in the tower. The building was made of what looked like granite blocks and there were stained glass windows visible on the left side of the church, which was the side I could see from the parking lot.
My king walked into the building ahead of us, with Tania holding his hand. I was behind him with Robin holding one of my hands and my queen holding the other. As I got to the door of the building I heard someone talking. "Father Paul, why are you wearing your Advent chasuble in June?"
"Pastoral discretion, Joe," I heard Rev. Spangenberger answer. "I just feel that this is the right choice for today. Oh hello, Mr. Keane. I'm so glad you made it here a bit early. There are some things I wanted to discuss with Elijah, if possible before the service."
I stepped in at that point and he smiled and came over and put his hand on my shoulder. He was wearing a white alb, with a really nice chasuble and stole that was several shades of purple. I smiled at the thoughtful gesture made more obvious by the comments I had overheard. "Thank you for wearing this today, Reverend. Purple isn't just my favorite color, it was hers as well. I wouldn't want you to get into trouble for wearing the wrong thing, though."
"You must have overheard us as you were walking in," the Reverend Spangenberger started. The other man stepped up then.
"Young man, I assure that Father Paul is not in trouble for wearing the wrong thing," he told me. "I was just curious about the choice."
"Elijah, this is Mr. Joseph Hearn. He is what we call a Verger, which means he makes sure everything in the services here goes exactly the way they are supposed to go. He and I wanted to talk with you and your new family just a moment or two before the service starts so that we know how you want things to be done."
"Thank you for helping with my mother's funeral, Mr. Hearn," I said sincerely as I held out my hand to shake with the man. "Mom really loved purple, that's why I asked for her to wear her favorite purple dress and she has on the Purple Iris brooch I gave her. She said that for her purple was the color that celebrates life the most, because whenever she saw it she felt happy."
"Elijah, knowing that you have no experience with the Episcopal way of doing things, I wanted to offer to let you have one last look at your mother's remains before we close the casket for the service," Rev. Spangenberger told me. "In our church, we normally don't have the casket open once it gets here for the service or after the service because we believe that takes away from the lesson of resurrection through our Lord. However, if you would want, I can ask the funeral director to open it in the other vestibule for a moment so that you may say goodbye one more time."
"No, sir," I told him. "Thank you for offering that, but I saw her last night. Besides, like you said, that isn't my mom, it's just her remains. My mom is in heaven now, but a bit of her is also here and here," I said as I tapped my head and my heart. Please do what you would normally do, because you'll be more comfortable, and I will get to learn more about your way of doing things." Mr. Hearn stepped away then and walked to a door across the back of the auditorium from us. I saw him put a beautiful white cloth with a gold cross on it over my mother's casket, and I smiled. She would have liked that. It looked very pretty and dignified.
The Reverend Spangenberger started speaking again. "So let me tell you the way things will happen, so you don't have to wonder what will be done when. The organist should start playing in a few minutes and she will continue to play until time for the service to start. Once it is time for the service to start, there will be a processional up this center aisle. That takes place at all our services, and I will be in that processional, walking just ahead of the casket as it wheeled forward by the funeral home staff. We will have readings from the Bible, and some hymns to sing. It's ok if you and your family don't know the tunes. Everyone will understand if you don't sing today. I will give a short sermon, and then another hymn will be sung as we proceed out of the auditorium. The casket will be loaded into the hearse to take closer to the grave site, and then the pallbearers will carry it to the grave."
"Pallbearers," I gasped. I hadn't even thought of that.
"Calm down, sweetheart," my queen said softly as she rubbed my arm. "The Reverend Spangenberger and I spoke to some people last night at the visitation who all agreed it would be an honor to do this for your mother and you. Marshall will be one, as will your Grampa Olly, Mr. Durbal, Mr. Lowry, and Coach Fuller. The sheriff has asked if you would let him be the sixth bearer. If not, one of the members of the congregation offered to serve."
"Why would I not want the Sheriff to do it? He has been so kind and supportive to me through all of this."
"I wasn't sure you would want me to do it because I am in my uniform, Elijah."
I spun around and looked up into the sheriff's face. "I don't mind that at all. I would rather it be someone that at least knows me if they didn't know her."
I would love to give all the details of the service, but I was just too out of it to remember much. I do know that I recognized a few of the pieces that the organist played before the service started, but I didn't know either of the ones the congregation sang. It was soon over and done with though, and I found myself being lead back into the church building, but a different part. As I suspected, I was brought into what I knew as a fellowship hall where a buffet meal was laid out. Even my queen seemed surprised by this.
An older woman who looked almost as wide as she was tall walked up and lead us to a table. "I know you sweet folks aren't Episcopals, at least not yet, so let me just explain that any time there is a funeral at our church, this is what we women do. It isn't charity, but we absolutely refuse to take a penny for it. This is our way of letting you know that we love and support you as Christians. That being said, you young folks shouldn't get any of the chicken in that white casserole dish right next to the ham. Doris always goes a little heavy on the Bourbon in her chicken." She looked me over rather critically for a moment and then added, "And you, little man, make sure you get at least two pieces every dessert over there. I'd call you a beanpole if you were taller, so I guess we'll go with toothpick. You need fattening up, cutie. And besides, nothing helps cheer up somebody going through a rough time like a great big slab of Chocolate Cake. It's my Chocolate Cake, so I ought to know. Look how happy I am," she laughed as she rubbed her tummy.
"Thank you, ma'am," I managed to say without giggling, even though Robin beside me was snickering a little until his mother gave him The Look.
"Now none of that ma'am stuff, you just call me Aunt Rose like everyone else around here does," she replied. "Are you Elijah?" When I confirmed my identity, I was grabbed in a hug and kissed on the cheek. "You sweet baby, we're all praying for you, and we want you to feel just as comfortable here as if you're at home. Now do you want to come fix your own plate, or should I make one up for you? I won't mind a bit, and if you tell me that you aren't hungry, I'll fix one for you anyway. Growing boys have to eat. I raised four boys and I know. Eating machines at your age, every one of you."
"I'll come do the plate myself," I assured her. "I wouldn't want to put anyone to any more trouble than I already have. It all looks and smells so good."
"Now I already told you, this wasn't any trouble at all for us," she scolded lightly. "I hear tell you were raised as a preacher's son, so you ought to know little old church ladies by now. If we're not feeding people, we're not happy."
The food was all delicious and the ladies watched very closely to see what I picked out. Aunt Rose was beside me the whole time, advising me what had shellfish and or spinach since I am allergic to both. I got several sighs of disappointment over that fact, apparently from ladies whose food I would not be eating. Apparently Aunt Rose had not been exaggerating about the chicken dish, because I overheard my king tell my queen that if he had two more bites of it, she would have to drive us home.
The whole time I was at the reception after the funeral I was looking around the room. Robin finally noticed and whispered to me. "What are you looking for? I saw the bathroom just down the hall over there when we came in."
"I don't.... Umm I was just looking around is all," I told him. He gave me a funny look but didn't say anything else. He headed for the dessert table and I followed along behind. Aunt Rose met us there with a big smile.
"Now you're ready for my side of the room," she announced proudly. "I will have you know boys, you are looking at the undisputed queen of cake in this church. Ask anyone here and they will tell you I make the best cakes. Now I want you to both take nice big pieces of this Chocolate Cake here, it's my specialty. We'll have you two scrawny pups filled out in no time."
Robin and I took our slices that had to be almost half the cake back to the table where my queen was sitting. "Please tell me you did not cut those slices of cake yourselves, boys," she gasped.
"Aunt Rose forced us to take these, my queen, I promise," I told her quickly. Just as I said it, Aunt Rose walked up to the table.
"Oh," she sighed disappointedly. "You haven't tasted it yet. I made it special just for you, sweetie. You're not diabetic, are you, baby? I forgot to ask that when I asked about your allergies."
"Oh no, umm... Robin distracted me on the way back to the table is all," I blurted.
"Oh, so that's how it is," Aunt Rose grinned and grabbed both of us in a hug. "I knew I liked you boys extra special." She looked up and called out across the room. "Doris, yoohoo, come over here for a minute." A taller and thinner woman came over to our table. "Doris, darling, they're a pair!" Aunt Rose squealed. "Aren't they just adorable?" I suddenly felt like a puppy that followed someone home and they are begging to keep me.
"I knew that, Rose, dear," Doris returned. "All I had to do was look at them. I told you my gaydar never fails. Now let the poor boys eat that cake, so you don't take it home and ruin my diet for the next week." She leaned in and kissed Rose softly on the cheek, and then looked at Robin and I. "My wife is right, though; you two are just adorable. Now after you start attending here regular, we'll be sure to let you know when the next meeting of Integrity will be. If your parents don't mind you two hanging out with a pair of antique lesbians for the evening, we'll take you and introduce you to the other Rainbows in the Diocese."
"Oh, that would be so wonderful," Rose cooed excitedly. "But they are a bit young...."
"Nonsense, that pair from St. Anne's is still in high school, and they've been at the last four meetings in a row," Doris replied. "Besides, we'll be there to watch over them, and you know the whole group is scared of me ever since that snake incident." She turned then and walked away leaving Robin and I staring at one another with our mouths open.
"Snake incident?" we both whispered, at the same time as my queen asked Aunt Rose about Integrity.
"That's a group sponsored by the diocese for all of us rainbows in the church," Rose answered. "It's just a chance for all the LGBTQA folks to get together and hang out a bit with people that understand that we can be gay and still be good Christian people at the same time. You and your husband would be welcome to join us if you wanted to. The group always welcomes supportive straights as well."
"Actually, I think it might be nice for the boys to have time to talk with others that understand them a bit better than Elsa and I can," my king said thoughtfully. "I'm sure the boys would enjoy some time away from home once in a while to be around people they can relate to more easily. I also think it might be good for them to know the perspective of their nature that you and Doris have and your friends. I may not know much about gay history, but I know it hasn't always been easy to be who you are in this country. Not as easy as it is for these boys now at least."
"No, it certainly hasn't," Rose agreed. "I can't tell you what it means to me that you are supporting your boys like this." She wiped tears from her eyes as she spoke again. "It's been over thirty years since Doris and I heard from either of our families. You just don't know what a blessing you are to these boys." Robin and I jumped up and hugged Aunt Rose from each side.
"Maybe not," my queen said softly as she too wiped tears from her face. "I do know what a blessing they are to me, though, and I won't let anyone, or anything take them away from me a minute before I have to let them go."
"My queen, my king," I started nervously. "Do you think Grampa Olly would mind having two more people at the fish fry for my new family. I want my Aunt Rose and my Aunt Doris there, too. I would ask him, but he didn't stay for the dinner. I hope he's all right. I know it had to be tough for him to be here today after what my... well after what he's been through."
"I'm sure he won't mind a bit," my queen smiled. "We'll ask him later."
"Here now, what's this my queen and my king about?" Aunt Rose asked me. I could tell she wasn't asking because she was upset by it, only curious, so I told her the whole story of my meeting the Keanes, and even what I had been planning to do when I met them. She wrapped her arms around me so tightly I thought I would never breathe again. She was crying so much that Doris came back over to check on her. Of course, that meant the story was told again, and then I was sandwiched between them with Aunt Rose weeping and sobbing and Aunt Doris running her fingers through my hair.
"You won't ever be alone again, pet," Doris whispered. "When school starts up this fall again, I will be keeping an eye on you then, too." I looked up at her in confusion. "I teach mathematics at the local high school. I also sponsor the gay-straight student alliance. You two are going to see a lot of me in your future," she said with a smile.
"I'm going to like that, but only if I get to breathe again soon so I can live that long," I teased. She and Aunt Rose both chuckled and pulled back a little bit, but neither of them let me go. "You may change your mind about me, though. Math is my weakest subject."
"Sacrilege!" Aunt Doris gave a cry of fake anguish. "How can anyone not like mathematics?"
I don't know why I felt so close and connected to these ladies so soon, but I looked up at Aunt Doris and took my suit jacket off. I turned so that only she could see, and pulled the bottom of my dress shirt out of my pants, lifting it up so that she could see the scars on my back. "The freshest ones are for not making the honor roll the last six weeks of school by one point. It was my math grade that cost me that point." I tucked back in and turned again to see her face had gone as white as a sheet of paper.
"I swear to you, Elijah, I will find a way for you to not only make that honor roll, but like math as well," she whispered. "My professional honor is at stake when someone uses Math as their excuse for... that." She kissed my forehead and then took Aunt Rose by the hand and walked away.
We stayed a little while longer during which time Robin and I finally got to eat our chocolate cake. Aunt Rose was wrong. She wasn't the queen of cake, she was the grand supreme empress of cake. Robin took his first bite and moaned and shivered all over. I thought about teasing him about needing to change his underwear until I tasted it myself. It was then my turn to make lewd noises completely out of my control. My queen scolded us for making a scene and stole a bite from Robin's plate, saying it couldn't be that good. When she opened her eyes again, she looked at her husband and asked, "How can that woman bring that cake into a church. That is absolutely sinful."
When we got up to leave, I made sure to get Aunt Rose and Aunt Doris' phone number so I could call them and let them know about the fish fry at Grampa Olly's. I knew that it was going to be the next day, and told them that, making sure that they knew if it was ok with Grampa Olly that I really wanted them there. On our way home, we went to the nursing home where my grandparents live. It had been a while since I had been here because my father was always too busy with church stuff, and apparently raping and murdering and burning people's houses, to come to see them.
"Grandmother? Granddaddy?" I called out as I entered their room. The door had been open already.
"Elijah, is that really you?" My grandmother asked me. "I hardly recognize you, you've grown so much."
I walked over and gave her a hug, and then stepped to the next bed and hugged Granddaddy as well. "We just came from the funeral for Mother," I told them. "It was a really beautiful service. She would have loved it. The priest even wore purple just for her, well I think it was mostly for me, but it was her favorite color too."
"Father Spangenberger came by here yesterday and visited us for a bit," Grandmother told me. Granddaddy nodded his head. Since his stroke, he couldn't talk anymore, but he knew what was going on. "He's a fine young man. He sure hopes to be seeing a lot of you at his church. I don't think it's just because he wants you as a member, either," she smiled. "He couldn't stop talking about what an impression you had made on him. Of course, we've known for years what a fine boy you are." Granddaddy mumbled something that sounded like the word move. "Yes, Horace I was just about to ask about that. Father Spangenberger told us that you were going to be moving really close to us now, with a wonderful family to take care of you."
"Yes, ma'am, Grandmother," I smiled. "Would you like to meet them? They wanted to give me some time alone with you so they are waiting in the lobby." Granddaddy waved his good arm in a very clear 'bring them in here' motion, and Grandmother nodded eagerly. I called the Keanes to join me in their room and Grandmother just lit up at the site of Tania.
"Oh, isn't she just precious," Grandmother gushed.
"If Lijey is my new brother, does that mean you're my new grandma?" Tania blurted.
"Of course it does, you little angel," Grandmother said and held out her arms for a hug. As Tania snuggled with Grandmother, Robin snorted.
"Angel? She don't know Tania, yet," he giggled.
"She reminds me of your mother, when she was little," Grandmother told me as she held Tania on her lap and played with her hair. She sniffled a little then and kissed the top of Tania's head. "So you'll all come visiting regular, won't you? That no account weasel always said he was too busy to bring Olivia and Elijah to see us. Well, now we know what he was busy with and it's all coming back on him. I hate that it cost my daughter's life, but at least I'll live to see him pay for the things he did to her and all those other people."
Granddaddy was pointing from Robin to his checkerboard that was always set up on a little rolling table beside his bed. I started to warn Robin, but thought Granddaddy should really get to spend some time with the boy I loved. It would make things easier when I told them about the two of us, if they already liked him. At least, I was hoping it would anyway. When we left a little more than an hour later after Grandmother and Granddaddy had both had a chance to watch the video that had been made of Mom's funeral, I was more worried about Robin ever liking Granddaddy than about Granddaddy liking him.
"He was cheating," Robin fumed. "He had to be. I'm good at that game. I watched him the whole time, and he never moved out of turn or anything, but I didn't win a single game. He had to be cheating somehow." I could only sit beside him and giggle. He turned to glare at me. "You knew he would win, didn't you? I was set up by my own boyfriend. How rude." He started pouting even more and I lost it and laughed the rest of the way home.