Once the merriment of New Year’s had passed, January ushered in some less than happy moments. It all began on January 5th, when I realized it would have been Cody’s fifteenth birthday. My heart ached when I remembered our angel and the short time we had together. This, in turn, caused me to think about Brent, whose birthday would have been in March, when he would have turned nineteen. Suddenly, all of the dark memories concerning the events leading up to their deaths flooded into my brain and I slowly started my descent into a deep depression. It had nearly killed me when I lost Brent, because I’d suffered a heart attack right after his funeral, but losing Cody was certainly no easier. Damn, I miss both of them and can only wonder what they might be like today, if they hadn’t left this world so quickly.
I struggled to pull my mind away from these gloomy thoughts and pull myself out of the depths I had sunken to, but it was a losing battle. I quickly discovered my memories of them were completely controlling my mind and I was about to hit bottom. No matter what I did to distract myself, it wasn’t effective and I gradually became more and more morose.
Jake noticed this almost immediately and tried to snap me out of my funk, but his attempts were unsuccessful. In fact, I was so unresponsive and withdrawn that the boys began to question what was wrong, even Jesse.
“Why’s Daddy so sad?” he asked Andrew, a couple of days after I began to slip into this foul mood.
Even though a few of the older boys had figured out what was troubling me, Andrew didn’t understand my situation at all. Concerned, he confronted Jake and asked if he knew what was wrong with me. Once Jake confided in him as to why I was so down, Andrew was able to also share this information with Jesse.
“Daddy’s sad because he’s thinking about our two brothers that died,” Andrew told him.
“Really?” Jesse responded, totally shocked. “You mean some boys have died here?”
“Yes, Jesse, they did,” Andrew answered. “They weren’t very old either. I think Cody was a little younger than I am now and Brent was only slightly older.”
“But how? Why did they die so young?” Jesse asked, totally bewildered.
“Brent died in a car accident, when he went on vacation with one of his friends,” Andrew explained. “Cody had leukemia – that’s a type of cancer – and the doctors did all they could, but he still died too.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Jesse told Andrew, while thinking he had made Andrew feel bad too. “No wonder Daddy looks so sad.”
Having said that, Jesse immediately took off and came looking for me. I was sitting alone in the living room, just staring off into space when he found me. I almost didn’t notice when he entered the room and crawled onto my lap, but when he wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a big kiss on the cheek, he was hard to ignore.
“I love you sooooo much Daddy,” he said, once his lips separated from the side of my face. Then he settled in against me, placed his head over my heart and then we just sat like this for the next twenty or thirty minutes.
I was confused about what had prompted his actions and why he was so willingly to just sit on my lap, without saying a word. My confusion ended a short time later, when Andrew filled me in about their conversation. It was the combination of these two events that began to pull me out of my melancholy, because I realized the other boys depended on me too and I couldn’t let any of them down by wallowing in remorse and self-pity. Slowly, I regained my grip on reality and fought back the tides of despair.
Once I was able to do this, the rest of January went much better and flew past us in the blink of an eye. The college boys had spent the first couple of weeks of the month at home with the family, before returning to their respective campuses, but they were gone now too. It had been nice to have them back, because the house had been full and came alive again, so I missed them even more now. Oh, I still enjoyed having the other boys around and I also like having some quiet time once in a while as well, but there are still times when I miss the bustle, laughter, good-natured banter and serious discussions that seemed to abound when everyone is home.
In mid-January, I got a call from Jesse’s mother, so she could inform me I could have the container moved to our place, whenever it was convenient. She was going to sell everything else off in a garage sale and then hopefully leave to join us before the end of the month. I told her that would be fine and added that I even had a job lined up for her when she arrived.
Everything else was going well during this period, so we started looking forward to Jesse’s mother’s arrival. I had arranged for her to stay with Mark’s mother when she first arrived, while I helped her find a place of her own. Actually that didn’t take very long, because shortly after we started looking, she found a cute little apartment that she ended up renting a couple of days later. The boys and I helped her move her things to her new place, and once she was unpacked, I told her about the job. I had arranged for her to work in the Middle School cafeteria, because that way she’d be able to see Jesse every day when he came through for lunch. I also told her I had a friend that owned a restaurant and he was willing to let her work nights or weekends, if she felt she needed a little extra money. She thanked me for doing this for her and then we let her settle in, with Jesse going down from time to time to help out.
Once this task was also behind us, I began talking to the boys about making plans for Valentine’s Day. It fell on a Monday this year, so I thought we should have the party on Saturday. They agreed that would work fine, so I encouraged them to start making arrangements.
Sammy wanted to invite Ted again, which I had no problems with, but the boys thought we should also ask Mark and Duck to bring their girlfriends too. I liked that idea, so I told them to go ahead and do it. As for Dion, since Trey was going to be away at college, he wondered if could invite Shelly. I just had a few questions I wanted to ask him first, before I agreed.
“Will she have any problems with the boys being with other boys?” I asked.
“Heck, no,” he replied. “She knows I’m going with Trey and she’s cool with it.”
“And explain to me why you are inviting her again,” I pressed.
“She’s my friend and if I’m with her, I won’t feel as if I’m cheating on Trey.” After hearing his response, I gave the idea my blessing.
When Sammy called Ted, he immediately agreed to come, but then he called back a short time later. He still wanted to come, but he said his Aunt Jane was going to bring him and she wanted to help out this year too. I thought that would work out fine, so I told him we looked forward to seeing both of them again.
Once Mark informed his mother about our plans, she called and insisted on preparing the meal again. Since my mother didn’t raise a fool, I graciously accepted her offer. After telling her about Jane, Susan said she remembered her from the previous year and the two of them could handle everything. Susan also insisted that all I had to do was to concentrate on keeping Jake happy, so I thanked her and assured her I would.
Jake will have his six-month follow-up visit coming up in March, so I wanted to use this holiday to keep his mind off of the appointment. It’s not because there had been any problems and everything had been going well so far, but I didn’t want Jake to start dwelling on it. Jake always dreaded having to go through these exams, so I intended to take his mind off of it by making this a Valentine’s Day he wouldn’t soon forget.
The boys began making their personal arrangements, while Susan planned the meal and I checked over the guest list. Jake and I would be there, Graham had asked Little Ricky to pair up with him again, Sammy was inviting Ted, Dion was going to bring Shelly, Duck and Mark would be there with their girlfriends and Andrew and Jesse told me they wanted to be there with each other. How cute! It looks as if we’ll have a pretty eclectic group.
I explained to Susan that the menu didn’t have to be elaborate and whatever she recommended would be fine. The boys said they were going to stick pretty much with what they did the previous year, except for changing a few of the songs. I was fine with that, as long as they were, although I did put in a few song requests of my own, for Jake. Dion was going to take care of the music, while still being able to spend time and dance with Shelly. Dion said he had explained this to her, and since they weren’t really a couple, she didn’t mind. This way, none of the others would have to worry about anything but their partner.
The time in between the start of our planning and the special day passed swiftly, as everyone concentrated on what they needed to do for the big night. On the Friday before the party, Ted and his Aunt Jane arrived and she was as chipper as ever. It was nice to see both of them again and Ted was all excited about being here with us. Jane was having fun teasing Ted and Sammy about what they might have planned and kept dropping little comments about it throughout the evening. This continued into Saturday as well, and she made them both blush on many occasions. Even though they scolded her for saying such things, we all knew they didn’t really mind the attention.
Ted stayed with Sammy that evening, while his Aunt Jane used the guest room. The boys were excited about being together again and Ted couldn’t wait to have sex. I noticed he was continually whispering to Sammy, and then Sammy would respond with comments such as, ‘it’s too early yet’ or ‘in a little while,’ which let me know what Ted was talking to him about. They did eventually disappear, earlier than most of the others, and Jane didn’t miss that fact.
“I think those little devils are off to have some fun,” she said, before following it with her girlish tittering.
Once they got to the room, Ted quickly announced his intentions. “I want you to do me again,” he told Sammy. “I’ve been having an itch back there ever since going with you guys on vacation, so I need you to scratch it for me.”
Sammy agreed, but had his own suggestion to add. “Okay, and then you can do it to me afterward.”
“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Ted confirmed.
“I don’t do it often, but I’ll do it for you,” Sammy told him. “I don’t mind and I want you to keep trying everything.”
Ted didn’t object further, so they slowly began undressing each other. In the past, they would have hurriedly ripped off their own garments and then jumped into bed, but even though Ted was anxious to do this, he was still willing to take his time. Sammy said he felt Ted enjoyed taking his clothes off, because Ted would touch or pay attention to each exposed area in one fashion or another. Sammy did the same to him, but most of his attention was done orally, as he kissed Ted’s neck and chest, nipped and sucked on his nipples, ran his tongue around and in Ted’s bellybutton and eventually lathed his genitals thoroughly, before swallowing Ted’s penis and bobbing on it momentarily. Sammy didn’t have to do it very long, before Ted blew his load, but this way Sammy knew Ted would last a while, when he moved into the top position.
After Sammy prepared both of them, he had Ted get on the bed and lay on his side. Then he sidled up behind Ted and carefully began to poke at his rear entrance. Sammy was surprised at how little resistance there was this time and figured Ted must have been preparing for this to happen since well before he got here. Once Sammy slipped totally inside of him, he asked Ted if he was okay and merely received a very breathy, “Oh, yeah. I’m fine,” in response. Hearing that, Sammy began to thrust his hips back and forth and quickly worked into a pretty good rhythm. Ted was even working his anal muscles this time and would tighten them each time Sammy withdrew, which was making the experience much more pleasurable for both of them.
Ted was also rocking back and forth to match Sammy’s thrusts, so it was also apparent Ted was a quick learner. This also helped to bring Sammy to the boiling point much quicker than during their previous encounters, but it was also much more satisfying. As Sammy began to feel those familiar sensations beginning to well up in his groin, he quickened his pace. Both boys were panting and moaning, so much so that anyone passing by in the hallway knew exactly what was going on behind the closed door. It was a good thing Ted’s Aunt Jane had remained downstairs, because I know she wouldn’t have been able to resist the urge to bang on their door and tease them about what they were up to. I think Ted might have fainted, at the very least, if she had done that to them.
In short order, Sammy arrived at the brink of the precipice and his body began to stiffen, as he drove his penis as far into Ted’s netherworld as it would go. Sammy grunted several times, once for each shot of semen that exploded from his dick, while Ted merely cooed in delight and satisfaction. Once it was over, both boys remained as they were and didn’t move a muscle, as Sammy stayed imbedded in Ted’s warm tunnel. Eventually, he lost his erection and slowly slipped out, at which time both boys gave up an ‘awwwww,’ due to the loss of their connection.
When the moment came for them to reverse roles and Ted had prepared himself, Sammy got on all fours on the bed and got ready for Ted to enter him. Once Ted was fully seated in Sammy’s bowels, Sammy lowered his head and chest until they resting on the bedding and then Ted began to piston himself in and out of Sammy’s tight channel.
Ted did last longer than either boy had expected, but that was probably due to the fact that Sammy had sucked him to a climax earlier. Regardless of the reason, both boys enjoyed it, although Ted was a little tired and winded by the time he had relinquished his load. After resting a few minutes, the sweaty boys got out of bed and sauntered over to the bathroom, where they showered together and got ready for bed.
When they returned to Sammy’s room, they cuddled up facing each other for a little while and exchanged a few steamy kisses, before Sammy turned over and laid on his other side. Sammy then backed against Ted, so they were spooned together, and that’s the way they spent most of the night.
Oh, I know some of the others were having a little fun too, but it wasn’t as big a deal for them as it was for this pair. I had no idea if Sammy and Ted might one day wind up as a couple, although I doubted it, but they were willing to have some fun, whenever the opportunity presented itself.
Throughout Saturday, the boys ran around making sure they had everything ready for tonight. Ted’s Aunt Jane, Jake and I each ran several trips to various locations, so one or more of the boys could pick up this or that, but by 6:00 all of them were ready for the big event to begin.
Duck and his girlfriend showed up earlier, around 3:00 and Dion took the Grand-Am down to pick up Shelly a little before 6:00. Mark also took off to pick up his date and then my boys started coming downstairs dressed to the nines, to impress their dates. Of course, Susan, Jane, Jake and I all had to snap numerous pictures of the spectacular looking couples, so we’d have a reminder of this wonderful evening. I even had them take some of Jake and me, and then I took a few of Jane with Ted and Sam, as well as some others of Susan with Mark and his girlfriend.
Once the photo op had finished, Jane took over getting our drink orders and then delivered the appetizers and Caesar salads to each table, while Susan made sure everything else was ready. Once we had finished the first course, both of them went about clearing the dishes, before delivering the main course, which we all enjoyed. The Chicken Parmesan was moist and very tasty, but it was also set off very nicely by the garlic-mashed potatoes and candied carrots. It was obvious everyone enjoyed the meal; along with the wine we served.
Even though we were all stuffed by the time we finished the entrees, we made a little more room for the Chocolate Mousse Susan had prepared for dessert. Once we downed this marvelous treat, we sat back and relaxed momentarily, before Dion got up and began playing the music.
It was cute watching the various couples dance, but I got a special kick out of watching Andrew and Jesse together. When I looked over and spotted Dion, I thought he was holding Shelly a little closer and more tightly than I would have expected, and she seemed to have a glow about her. I began to wonder if maybe something more was going on here, than just being friends.
I was also glad to see that Sammy and Ted were both dancing with Jane from time to time, and Jake and I each cut the rug with her during a couple of other songs. The same was true with Duck and Mark, as they both took turns dancing with Susan, while Jake and I also took a spin around the dance floor with her as well. Jake and I each danced one dance with both Duck and Mark’s girlfriends too, but these occurrences were spread throughout the night and didn’t all happen one after the other. In between, it left some special time for us.
When the evening first started out, we danced through the first three or four songs, and then Dion made an announcement. “We have a special request for this next song, and it goes out from Josh to Jake, with all his love.”
As soon as he finished, Dion started playing the first song I had requested, ‘Someone To Watch Over Me.’ I’m not even sure as to which artist sang it, but I’ve always loved the lyrics and hoped Jake listened to them carefully and we swayed to it’s gentle beat.
There's a saying old Says that love is blind. Still we're often told "Seek and ye shall find." So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind. Looking everywhere, Haven't found him yet; He's the big affair I cannot forget - Only man I ever think of with regret. I'd like to add his initial to my monogram. Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb? There's a somebody I'm longing to see: I hope that he Turns out to be Someone who'll watch over me. I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood; I know I could Always be good To one who'll watch over me. Although he may not be the man some Girls think of as handsome, To my heart he carries the key Don't you tell him, please, to put on some speed, Follow my lead? Oh, how I need Someone to watch over me.
As the song ended, I whispered in Jake’s ear. “I’ve found him and he’s right here in my arms.”
Jake hugged and kissed me at the point and I think I heard a few oohs and ahs when it happened.
We danced to a few more songs, and then Dion spoke again. “It seems as if we have another request and this song also goes out to Jake from Josh, with all his love.”
After Dion said this, he began to play ‘As Long As He Needs Me,’ from the musical, ‘Oliver!’ It was the shortened version that Melinda Doolittle sang on ‘American Idol’ and intentionally cut out Lionel Bart’s darker lyrics about the callous relationship Nancy had with Bill Sikes.
As long as he needs me... I know where I must be. I'll cling on steadfastly... As long as he needs me. As long as life is long... I'll love him right or wrong, And somehow, I'll be strong... As long as he needs me. If you are lonely Then you will know... When someone needs you, You love them so. I won't betray his trust... Though people say I must. I've got to stay true, just As long as he needs me.
“I’m not lonely any more, now that I have you,” I told him, softly, as the last notes faded. Jake merely squeezed and kissed me again.
Several songs later, and just before the evening came to an end, Dion made one final announcement. “I have one more request, which is again from Josh to Jake, with all his love.”
At that moment, Bobby Helm’s voice broke the stillness, as he belted out his rendition of ‘My Special Angel.’
You are my special angel Sent from up above The Lord smiled down on me And sent an angel to love You are my special angel Right from paradise I know you're an angel Heaven is in your eyes The smile from your lips brings the summer sunshine Tears from your eyes bring the rain I feel your touch, your warm embrace And I'm in heaven again You are my special angel Through eternity I'll have my special angel Here to watch over me Here to watch over me (Angel, angel, whoa-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh, oh)
This time I didn’t say anything when the music ended, instead I knelt down on one knee and looked up into Jake’s face, while popping open a ring box. It contained an elegant man’s ring with a diamond setting.
“I know we can’t get married, legally, in this state,” I began, “but will you join me in a commitment ceremony this Easter, where we will declare our love and commitment to each other in front of our family and friends? Then will you fly off with me to Canada this summer, to have the ceremony performed there? I know that still won’t make us legal in Pennsylvania, but we will be able to say we are married.” Jake’s mouth was hanging open.
“Are you serious?” he asked, still stunned.
“As serious as I was about adopting these boys and making them my sons,” I replied.
“Then yes. Yes, I’ll do it,” Jake confirmed, before I began hearing shouts, screams and some applause. When I looked around, we were surrounded by many smiling faces, some of which were covered with more than a few tears. I was positive I had succeeded in making this one night Jake would never forget.