After we grabbed a quick bite to eat, we went back to our room. The boys showered quickly and then hopped into bed, but I opted to take my shower in the morning. We watched a little television before we turned in, with Cody sitting on my lap, cuddled against my chest, and Graham sitting beside us. I wanted to be as close to him as I could, for as long as I was able, and that was until the boys went to sleep.
I held Cody, even after he fell asleep, but eventually I knew I would have to get some rest too. When I tried to lift him and move him to the other bed, he woke up.
“What are you doing?” he asked, still a little groggy.
“I’m moving you to the other bed, so you can sleep with Graham,” I told him.
“No, I want to stay here with you,” he challenged.
“But Graham will want to sleep with you,” I reasoned.
“Then he can sleep on the other side of me, while I sleep next to you,” he countered, hopefully.
“I don’t know,” I began, but was cut off.
“It’s okay, Dad,” Graham told me. “I don’t mind, if it’s what Cody wants.”
Seeing it was two against one, I gave in. Besides, I had wanted to keep a close eye on him until we got to the hospital. Therefore, we all got comfortable, with Cody curled up against me, and Graham next to him, and then we fell asleep.
Sometime during the night I heard Cody moaning and woke up. I opened my eyes slowly, to see if he was also sleeping, but was surprised by what I saw. Graham had the covers pulled back and was giving Cody a blowjob, much to my surprise.
I pretended to remain asleep and ignore what was going on, but it was hard to do, listening to Cody’s ragged breathing and moans of pleasure. Graham must have been very capable, seeing Cody was enjoying this so much, but I didn’t want to disturb them. The bed was also gently bouncing up and down, as Graham bobbed on Cody’s stiffy, which made me wonder how much longer this was going to last. It was only a few seconds later, before I felt Cody’s body stiffen and he let out a sigh, signaling the end of this encounter.
My eyes must have been slightly opened at that point, because Graham spoke. “Dad, how long have you been awake/” he asked.
At first I tried to pretend I was asleep, but he wasn’t about to allow it. “I know you’re not sleeping,” Graham said. “You eyes were open a little and you’re not breathing, like when you’re asleep. You’ve also got a boner.” He giggled, after pointing this out.
Mentally examining my lower body, I knew he was right. Their activity had subconsciously aroused me and my body gave it away.
“Come on, I can see it popping up under the sheet,” Graham continued, so I had to ‘fess up.
“Okay, I woke when I heard Cody moaning, because I thought something was wrong,” I explained. “I didn’t mean to spy on you.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” Cody said, to reassure me. “Graham just thought it might relax me, because I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep.”
“Yeah, it’s no big deal, Dad,” Graham added. “You’ve seen us naked and know we do it, so we don’t mind.”
It was nice to know they trusted me so much, but I still felt bad. “I tried to close my eyes and block it out,” I explained, “because I knew watching you wasn’t the right thing to do, but the bed was bouncing up and down and Cody was making noises to show he was enjoying it, and that was too much to ignore.”
“We said it was okay, Dad,” Cody reiterated. “You don’t have to explain. We love you and don’t care if you saw us.”
“Well, I love you too, but let’s try to get back to sleep,” I urged. “I asked for an early wake up call.”
Both boys agreed, but not before Cody returned the favor. Graham must have been highly aroused, because he didn’t last very long, either that or Cody was also very talented. Although I started to roll over and turn my back to them, they told me I didn’t have to, so I merely closed my eyes and stayed facing in their direction. Maybe that was what caused Graham to ejaculate quicker, but I’m not sure. I tried not to spy and only felt the bed bounce slightly and listened to Graham’s whimpers of pleasure, until it was over. Then we all fell asleep again.
The wake up call came at 5:00 and I got up and took my shower, shaved and brushed my teeth. When I came back into the room to dress, I woke the boys up and told them to get ready. After checking out, I took them for a quick breakfast, but none of us were really very hungry and just picked at our food. We soon left the diner and started off for the city.
The trip was uneventful, except for getting caught in Monday morning traffic. If I’d been smarter, I would have found a place closer to the hospital, so I wouldn’t have become enmeshed in the traffic grid.
We arrived at Sloan-Kettering around 9:00, although we should have made it much sooner. We parked the car in the parking garage and left most of our things in the trunk, figuring we could retrieve what we needed later. We then made our way toward the main entrance, where we checked Cody in. Once that was done, we had to wait until someone came to get us. Seeing we were expected and our paperwork was in order, it didn’t take long before someone showed up to get us.
“We weren’t really expecting you until this afternoon,” the orderly told us, “but I guess they’re still ready for you.”
“We drove most of the way here yesterday,” I explained, “because I wanted to arrive as early as I could.”
The orderly nodded and led us down a series of corridors, including a short elevator ride. We took seats in the little waiting area, but not until we had a chance to look around and check everything out. We hadn’t been seated for very long, before someone came out and paged Cody’s name. We were asked to follow this person to an examination room, where we were left to wait for the doctor. I think the person leading us there was shocked when all three of got up to go with her, so I quickly explained Graham and I were with him for moral support and we planned to stay together through the whole experience. She smiled and said she understood and then she closed the door behind her, as she left.
When the doctor arrived, he wanted to know why Graham was in there too, so I quickly filled him in on our reasoning. I also told him our oncologist had called and cleared it in advance, which seemed to soften his mood.
“He must have talked to one of the nurses,” he remarked, “but that’s fine. We just don’t usually find the support group in the examination room as well.” Once he said this, he seemed fine with us being there, as long as Graham didn’t interfere.
To make sure that didn’t happen, I sat in one of the chairs, pulled Graham onto my lap and wrapped my arms around his chest. There was no way he was going to get away from me now.
Once we were situated, the doctor spoke to both Cody and I, asking us questions about Cody’s condition. Even though he had read Cody’s file, it seemed he wanted to make sure he knew everything that had happened so far. I think he was afraid the other doctor had failed to write something down or we had left some things out.
He also wanted to get our perspectives on Cody’s progress up to this point, because he wanted details about how Cody acted and felt, from the first day we suspected something was wrong. After he finished questioning us, the doctor told us he was going to give Cody a complete physical, run some blood tests, take some tissue and bone marrow samples, and then send Cody for another MRI. After asking Cody if he’d prefer the physical be done in private, Cody informed him that wouldn’t be necessary, so the doctor had him strip down.
The examination was very thorough and once it was over and the other procedures had been performed, we were sent out to wait in the examination room again. We assumed this was to give the doctor time to look at the results, so he could determine if anything had changed since Cody’s last visit to the oncologist. I knew our doctor had forwarded everything he had, using overnight express, so now we just had to wait and see if things had improved, stayed the same or deteriorated since then. Once the doctor evaluated the information, he returned to speak with us.
“The MRI shows multiple tumors in the lungs and I’d like to learn more about them. I’m going to schedule Cody for a biopsy, because I have to know exactly what we’re dealing with. They probably won’t be able to squeeze us in to the OR for a couple of hours, so you go unwind and get something to drink. I’ll schedule the procedure during the lunch break, because I’m fairly certain at least one of the rooms will be open then.”
I thanked him for his help, while Cody got dressed, and then I took the boys to the snack bar, where we each ordered a milkshake. Neither boy said much, as we sat enjoying our treats, but I wasn’t sure of their reason for remaining silent. Were they just concerned, scared, confused or a combination of all three.
Once we were finished there, we left the building for a while. I concluded it would be best to get Cody away from the hospital for a while, to keep him from thinking about his situation. I thought it best we just go for a walk, and then Graham and I could carry on a conversation with him, to keep him from worrying about what the doctor might find.
Once we went outside, we discovered it was quite warm, but not yet hot. I led them down the street while mentioning things we had seen on our previous trips to the city. As we walked, I pointed out the general location of where those things might be, even though there wasn’t a great deal to see. We were surrounded by many tall buildings, which blocked our view and made it tough for me to pinpoint the exact locations.
We also spent time wondering what the rest of the boys were doing at home, just to keep Cody’s mind away from his illness. I even mentioned Peter and asked if either of them thought Ricky had pulled a prank on him yet, which got them to disagree. Although Graham thought he had, Cody said Ricky wouldn’t dare, because this time Peter knew what to expect. This discussion seemed to do the trick and didn’t give him time to focus on his own problems, but to be safe, we also pointed out things we passed along the way. We hoped this might distract him even more.
It seemed to be working as planned, however all of our walking also appeared to be tiring Cody out. We had to stop many times along the way, so he could rest briefly and regain his strength, but I still thought it was better we weren’t just sitting around a waiting room. There, he would most likely just dwell on his problems, which was precisely what I wanted to avoid.
As we approached the two-hour mark, we started to make our way back to Sloan-Kettering, knowing it would soon be time for his biopsy. After a few more brief rest stops, we were back in the waiting room, where we’d remain until we heard from the doctor. I tried to give Cody a quick explanation of what would be happening next, although I was definitely no expert on the subject.
“Cody, the doctor just wants to get some tissue from one of the tumors, so he can test it,” I began. “He’ll probably put something down your throat and work it into your lungs to do this. He’ll also probably put you to sleep first, so you won’t do something that could affect his efforts. It won’t hurt and shouldn’t take long, and Graham and I will be here waiting for you when you come out.”
He just nodded his understanding, but didn’t ask any questions, and I saw Graham squeeze his hand, to show his support. A short time later, an orderly came to get Cody, but he asked him to put on a hospital gown first, before he gave him a ride on a gurney. Cody went into a small room, changed quickly and locked his clothes in a small locker.
When he came out, he did nothing to hide his cute little butt from showing through the opening in the back. He was one of the least modest and most open individuals I had ever met. Graham did tease him about it, but it rolled off Cody like water on a duck’s back, so Graham didn’t get the response he wanted. Undaunted, he hugged Cody and wished him luck and then we waited there, while Cody was wheeled down the hall. I think Graham and I were more nervous about what he was facing than Cody was.
When I kissed him, before he was wheeled away, I noticed, for the first time, how pale and weak Cody looked. It almost broke my heart to know he’d have to go through this part without us, especially now that he seemed so fragile, and I really wanted to be there for him when this was done. Even though I understood the medical reasons why this wasn’t possible, the parent side of me still longed to hold his hand and stroke his hair as he endured what was being done to him.
When Cody was brought out after the biopsy had been completed, he was unconscious. He had been given general anesthesia, as I suspected, and I was told it would be an hour or more before he came out from under its effects. The doctor told me he had also done a lumbar puncture, or spinal tap, at the same time, to prevent Cody from having to suffer through it later. Again, I thanked him for his help and we went to sit by Cody’s bedside.
Cody looked very weak and didn’t have much color as he lay there, and a series of images flashed through my mind. Most of them weren’t good, so I tried to block them out, but I was finding it more and more difficult to do. I suspect seeing him like this made me think the worst.
Once Cody came out from under the anesthesia, we had to wait a little longer, before he was moved to a room. Shortly after that happened, Cody’s never-fading smile returned to his face and he was back with us again.
A short time later, the doctor came in to see us. “All right, here’s the situation,” he began. “There’s a very large number of tumors on Cody’s lungs and they are in areas where we can’t operate. We tested a couple of them and they both proved malignant, but that’s not all. The MRI we took earlier showed there were also tumors forming on his liver and pancreas.” He paused and looked at us, and I knew he was trying to find a way to explain what would come next. Eventually he continued with this explanation.
“If there weren’t so many tumors, they were benign or they weren’t located in such strategic areas, I would have recommended radiation therapy to deal with them. However, I’m not sure Cody’s body could handle it at this point.”
“If there is no other way to handle those tumors,” I asked him, “would organ transplants be an option?” He looked at me and gave me a chance to read his expression, so I knew his answer before he spoke.
“No, I’m positive Cody’s immune system couldn’t deal with that, especially with the very powerful anti-rejection drugs we’d have to administer afterward. I’m also not sure his body is strong enough to even deal with such an operation.”
“Then what can we do?” I wondered aloud.
“Not much,” the doctor replied. “We will start Cody on another type of chemotherapy, although it will have to be a relatively mild treatment plan. We’ll do that to see if we can shrink some of the tumors. Once we see what that does for us, we’ll decide what to do next.”
I thanked the doctor for the information and he patted Cody on the shoulder, before he left the room. I followed him out to the waiting room, so I could ask him a few more questions about Cody’s condition, but out of earshot of the boys. Once we were alone, I approached him again. “Doctor, will he make it through this?” I asked him, quite directly.
“I wish I could tell you he will, but I think there’s just too much working against him,” he admitted, candidly. “We will do our best, but I’m afraid I can’t offer you much hope. I want to keep him here, so I can monitor his progress. I’ll arrange for him to be moved to a larger room and I’ll have an extra bed put in there, so you can stay with him. If you’d like for me to arrange for you to see a clergyman, I will be happy to do that for you too. Just let me know which denomination you’d prefer.”
I nodded, told him my preference and then he left. Once he was gone, I nearly collapsed on the spot. This couldn’t be happening and I wasn’t sure I could go through it again. At least with Brent, I didn’t have to watch him slowly die, but I wasn’t sure I could handle losing another son. However, unless a miracle came along, it looked as though Cody probably wouldn’t make it to his next birthday. Hell, he might not even make it until next month. It appeared that Graham’s vision had been right on the mark once again. Some times I just wished he didn’t have his gift or there was a greater margin of error in what he saw. However, that wasn’t the case, so I’d have to deal with the realities of the situation and take care of Cody, and the rest of my boys, in the process.
When I went back into his room, I had to come up with what I would tell the boys. I tried to put a less worried expression on my face, so I wouldn’t alarm them, and then I walked up beside them and spoke.
“Boys, it looks like we’ll be staying here for a while, so I’ll go to the car and get our things. You wait here and I’ll be right back.”